A Never Ending Parade of Stupid

I sat in silence during Friday's episode of All My Children and for a long time after it ended, contemplating how best to describe the massive amount of dumb exhibited by Liza Colby. I was speechless for an embarrasing amount of time trying to come to grips with describing the level of idiocy necessary to fake labor to get out of an admittedly ghoulish fake funeral for a not dead baby and then go continue your fake labor at your ex-boyfriend's house where your daughter hangs out, and then insist that your daughter stay with you during your fake labor and, apparently, just cross your fingers and hope that she doesn't think anything of it when you birth a pillow and have a baby delivered via courier in the form of Tad Martin with a brain injury.

Do I list a number of adjectives for dumb, and remark that even if we were to assign numerical values to each synonym, add them together, and multiply by pi? Do I craft a series of "Yo Momma" jokes about her? Do I hit her below the belt and insinuate that her plans are even more illogical and flat out felony level stupid than those of Claudia Zacchara's? It broke my brain!

Jake: You do? You want her to stay and witness the birth of a pillow, do you?

Liza: She just asked for me to help. Do you know how long I've been waiting for my daughter to reach out to me?

Jake: Do you know how difficult this is going to be to pull off, do you?

Liza: Ok, one of the reasons I'm having this baby is bond with my daughter. Jake, she stays.

Bitch crazy.

Comments

[Heather]

I miss Marcy Walker.

I miss Ambyr Childers.

I miss Liza-with-a-brain.

[Oh Susannah]

TY Mallory! I really thought at times Fri that I was having some bizarre nightmare watching wtf-ever that was! At first, I'd say they were jumping the shark here, but that doesn't do it justice. It really was the most absurd soap scene ever! I mean, if they wanted to do a parody on that, this is perfect fodder. This show sunk to new levels Fri- shame on all of them!

[Kels]

This sheer moronic idiocy is made all the worse for me because my favorite couple, Jake and Amanda, are stuck in this god awful story with this total loser. And so is Tad. Ugh. I need them free of Liza.

[Caitlin]

She didn't even consider that her daughter has helped a woman give birth before so Colby will probably feel comfortable and want to help with the birth. I know Colby isn't always the brightest crayon in the box but she's not stupid either. This is just so dumb and ridiculous.

[buddz]

I have to agree - the fake labor storyline was foolish and ill-conceived. (Pun. Intended.) But the resulting stooginess from Tad and Jake was a riot to behold! I laughed out loud watching Jake alternately yell and issue orders through clenched teeth, all the while flinging blankets and doing crazy things with his eyes. I enjoyed it enormously!

Early on, Tad asked, "Is this the floor show?" Apparently, it was. And it was hilarious!

[Birdie]

This entire storyline has made me thoroughly despise Amanda, Jake and Liza and Tad is starting to creep in there. Liza is not only a sleazey slut, she's a dumb one too. I guess her only talent is hiking up her dress and showing off her underwear. I can't believe the level of hate I have for Amanda and Jake now and worse yet, I was starting to feel sympathy for Krystal because she HAS lost children and she was being nice and considerate to Amanda! This is how bad this has gotten if I'm feeling sympathetic to Krystal!

[Alice]

Jake's expressions were, I thought, directed as much to the writers as to Liza. Who in the audience did not roll their eyes just as much as Jake at this ridiculous scene. And when did Liza become not just a lawyer, but the best lawyer around, as she told Adam recently. And how could the best lawyer around be so damn stupid!

[Sarah]

One of the reasons she is "having" this baby is to bond with Colby?

Are they freaking kidding me with this crap? How about chasing after her when she ran away from you as 15 year old? Or calling her once in a while after she moved in w/ your ex for several years? Or how about just going to lunch or a sharing a spa day now that you finally bothered to see her again? How about bonding with her that way you moronic selfish slut!!!

Nah, fake a pregnancy, quasi adopt a baby, murder your stepdad in order to regain custody of some hidden letters (who knows?) and then use the new kid to "bond" with the one you abandoned. Now that's parenting to be proud of AMC.

NuLiza isn't just dumb. There isn't a word to describe how profoundly stupid she truly is.....slut still works fine though.

I love when soaps even attempt humor. And Tad and Jake can certainly be funny and entertaining. But faking a baby's death, funeral included, is not a time for slapstick. It's just gross and twisted and not in a funny dark way. It's very Claudia to be so amoral disgusting slutty selfish and vile.

How did that become the new cornerstone for AMC & GH?

[Pavarti31]

Well at least Zen can't be blamed for the ratings on this one.

I wonder what it's going to take to fix this show. Or if anything will. Maybe Pratt and Frons are laughing at us for thinking they care. Damm. I know AMC is going to get canceled. I just know it.

[brooke]

The worst part about this horrible baby storyline is that it's making me feel bad for David. I'm so rooting for him right now. The one gratifying thing about David is that it doesn't take him long to figure out what's up. I hope he figures this mess out soon. They deserve to lose the kid to him. Too stupid to live. Definitely too stupid to raise a kid.

[Kathy]

The scene was played for comedy but even comedy in a soap must have some semblance of reality. Nothing about that was remotely believable. I am one that constantly asks for more humor on the show, but when you juxtapose the humor with scenes of the supposed death of a baby, wow, that sort of takes any fun out of it--especially since the two situations are part of the same storyline. It was just grotesque and ludicrous. Liza is one of the most ridiculous characters I've ever seen what with poker table sex, walking around in your bra in a business office and now this--and those are only a few examples. And yet this awful character must be in every scene and involved with every character. Enough already!

[Lisanne]

I wish Liza would die in pillow birth.I still cannot fathom why this baby is being given to Liza to begin with, or why Liza is on this show. I have no sympathy for Amanda who didn't have the guts to keep her child and protect him herself, if indeed he needed protection from his own father. If I remember correctly, David was an outstanding father to Leora. I think it best to have kept Amanda as a backburnered character because her emergence to the forefront, as well as Liza's ubiquitous presence in every storyline, is tanking the already abysmal ratings.

I couldn't laugh for the tears that were falling for the stupidity of Friday's show.

[Ruth]

I am so sad for AMC. If Friday's show was any indication as to where the show is headed then I don't see it staying on much longer. TPTB can't be so stupid as to think that this was a good show. Pratt has made a mockery of it and TIIC don't even realize it.
I feel bad for TK and Lish having to put up with this kind of trash, but if not for them it would indeed be off the air.

[Beth R.]

Wouldn't it have just been easier to have her go to GH and be treated by Kelly Lee? I mean Kelly wouldn't find birthing a pillow odd at all. And given Guza and Pratt's love of copying each other...shouldn't have been that hard to work out. Just saying....

[KathyNYC]

I agree with Kathy (a few posts up).. the scene was played for laughs. But that's the problem here. This is not a funny scenerio. People are in mourning because they believe a baby DIED. Throwing around fake ashes is not funny..it's grotesque. I don't care how much anyone hates David, no one deserves to have a 4th child "DIE", when he actually didn't. And then to hear Amanda trying to make him feel guilty for the DEATH just about took away any sympathy I have for her character here.

And then there is Liza. Going into labor at a memorial service to distract people from the truth was not in the least humorous..no matter how you look at it. Lying to your daughter is not funny. Having Jake lie to his wife is not funny either. Having Tad lie to everyone knowing how much pain keeping the truth from everyone is certainly not funny. What the heck is Pratt..or anyone at ABC.. thinking?

To put icing on the cake, JL is not funny and couln't pull off those scenes if her life depended on it. If this is what ABC was talking about..bringing Jamie back to her "Just The 10 Of Us" comedy roots, they are in big trouble..but we knew that for a long time. Why don't they?

The only good thing about these scenes is it probably saved Ryan..along with Erica and Aidan (the new Three Stooges)...from another scathing Mallory review. They are actually all sneaking around town spying on Annie and/or TRYING to push a mentally ill woman into being more crazy to get what they want..and are joyful and gleeful about doing it. I get that Ryan and Annie are no longer married but at one point, he promised to love her in SICKNESS and health. I don't think that included he and Erica giggling about their plots to bring her down.

Freaking unbelievable.

[Sarah]

"A Never Ending Parade of Stupid"

Sounds like the new ABC Daytime Promo Tag Line ;-)