Since When Does "Devil's Advocate" Mean "Idiot Mouthpiece for the Writers"?

The only aspect of the whole "Truth About Michael's Shooting" story that is even marginally entertaining (and I do mean marginally) (and the entertainment is obviously of the unintentional variety. Obviously!) is watching the writers try their best to move the story forward by having the secret come out while simultaneously not really wanting the secret to come out because they love Claudia. All of this could obviously have been avoided if they hadn't made the huge mistake of making their new darling character responsible for Michael's injury, but this particular crop of writers is spectacularly ill-equipped in terms of talent and vision.

The moral of this story is that it is hilarious watching people multi-task when they haven't even gotten the task portion down.

Today, Jason finally got solid proof that Claudia was behind the botched hit on Sonny's life that left Michael comatose, and when he decided to bring that information to Sonny, Spinelli pleaded with him not to.

JASON: I have to go tell Sonny.
SPINELLI: The Jackal's script says to tell you not to do that, for the writers are not ready for this story to be wrapped up just yet. In order to further the Writerly One's agenda, allow me to take the Vixinella side in this Point/Counterpoint.
JASON: She got Michael shot.
SPINELLI: That was completely accidental.
JASON: She got Michael shot. Sonny needs to know that she got Michael shot.
SPINELLI:I fail to see what's so wrong about a person moving in with the woman indirectly responsible for his coma. I am sure that Vixinella is most repentant.
JASON: She is dangerous and awful. I don't even know what sociopath means, but I know she's it.
SPINELLI: What if she volunteers at soup kitchens on the weekends and takes care of homeless, limbless orphans. What then, Stone Cold?

I am barely exaggerating. The sad thing is that I had been longing for Spinelli to be assertive and take a stand against Jason but wow, was this not the place or time for him to do so , especially not when his stand was so patently insane.

Spinelli: Yeah, well, she's always been kind to me. And on more than one occasion, she's interceded on my behalf with Mr. Sir.

That trumps accidentally getting a child shot, am I right?

Spinelli: Ok, the shooting was accidental. Mr. Sir was the intended target. So perhaps if -- if Vixenella was involved, she's feeling genuine remorse for wounding his offspring. Or she's happy with her new stepmother status.

"She's SORRY! She visited EVERY WEEK LIKE CLOCKWORK. Won't you cease your torment and think of the children?!?!" 

Spinelli:They are on the brink of parental joy. Doesn't that child deserve a possible stable family situation? Vixenella may turn out to be a wonderful mother.

What the crikey fuck? What depths of insanity does one have to sink to in order to describe a Corinthos/Zacchara household as being anything approaching stable?

Comments

[Becca]

If for any reason we ever have to re-name the blog, I totally vote for "What the Crikey Fuck?"

I truly have no idea what the hell they're doing with the Claudia character. I feel like the writers and I have that in common.

[dia]

But she's so cool that she has an iPod! Obviously she cannot be evil!

[junie]

This show has redefined what it means to be a festering pile of horse dung. It doesn't just stink anymore, it's also got a nonsense-speaking moron worshipping the trash we are supposed to root for. Claudia, Sonny, Jason, etc. are all odious and have zero redeeming qualities. Now add Luke Spencer to the list and I am officially at a loss as to how this show even resembles the once great General Hospital.

[Rene']

Amen, sistah. Word. Power to the people.

WHY, OH WHY do they have to make Spinelli say lame-ass dialogue when I have SEEN that this character can be better? Bradford Anderson is a phenomenal actor - HE CAN HANDLE NOT BEING A DOUCHE! I was SO hoping that when Matt pointed out several months back that he may have a "condition" causing his ramblings that it was going to come out that he had something treatable. Another one-liner that sounded like a storyline but was actually just Guza fucking with us.

By the way, I intend to use "What the Crikey Fuck" as many times as possible in my daily conversations for at least the next week.

[Beth R.]

I think from now on all news related messages will be titled as "What the Crikey Fuck?" since more often than not....it's what i'll be saying.

my brain had already melted from trying to understand the Tony Geary article and then today happened.....and I think I have Jason and Michael's brain damage.....because i didn't get word one of today......

Or maybe that's Guza's insidious plan...make all 13 of us still watching brain damaged so we will just finally shut up and accept what drivel he feeds us and be happy about it! IT'S ALL SO CLEAR NOW!!!

[McKenzie]

You all make me feel such shame. I love Sarah Brown so much that I actually feel sympathy for claudia!!! In my world, Claudia would not be held accountable for her actions. After all, she came from a broken home. Plus, her daddy never loved her. When you really get down to it, her lack of nurturing as a child is responsible for Michael's shooting - not Claudia.

With this mode of thinking, I'm sure I could get a job writing for GH!

[Dawn]

Spin and Jason are both stupid.

Spin for believing Claudia is remorseful.

And Jason acting like he'll do anything about it. Like Sam could have accidently had Jake and Cam shot, but on purpose!Jason didn't do a damn thing!

Spin and Jason are both morons!

[Kels]

I no longer torture myself by watching this dung-pile of a formerly good soap opera. Thank you for providing me with a reminder of why I made that decision. I feel that just through reading your take on Spinsuck & Jasshat's conversation from today's show, I feel that GH has managed to insult my intelligence.

[Sarah]

I know he is a brain damaged Stone Cold Killer but is St. Jasus really as dumb as he sounds? Why the crikey fuck is he so shocked Spindork is supporting Claudiaho like she is a troubled child innocent of all crimes no matter the endless evidence against her and her general nature, which is EVIL? Wake up Borg! The kid idolizes you and thinks your shit should be dipped in gold and made the prize in some computer game. Obviously he is a terrible judge of character. This show is so sick.

The rampant plague of misogyny carries on now to every Mother on air. Carly is now evil even under Guza? Michael's hatred of her and her alone is a joke. And how Guza can allow this is a mystery considering she is the only woman on air he loves as much as Mumbles and Borg. And even Teethan turned on Holly. But Luke is his hero? What the crikey fuck?

Seriously, is any mother on this show not hated immensely by many and written like a jerk criminal moron incompetent betrayer? It's insane that this is all happening unopposed at GH, which is a show for historically geared WOMEN!!!! Most of whom are mothers. If this show was geared for Tony Soprano then this would make some sense.

[Mike]

Of course, you see where this is going don't you? Jason keeps the secret and eventually, Sonny finds out and the umpteenth wedge between them will drive them apart for what ... a couple of months?

And yes, Claudia is indirectly to blame for Michael's shooting, but isn't Sonny as well, Wasn't he the one that got out of the mob to protect them only to go right back in? Isn't he the one who has brought a wife and family into a lifestyle that already took the life of one wife and child - and the living of which has gotten countless loved ones kidnapped, short, tortured, threatened, etc. And for what? Control over a small town somewhere in the north? Amassing mucho money from ... well, whatever it is, it doesn't involve drugs, gosh darn it. He's got morals, standards - he's Catholic. Sure, murder's a viable option - I mean, you have to protect your business in the ... whatever trade. God overlooks murder, it's those drugs and abortion that really gets under his skin. But murder ... eh, justifiable.

See? Talking about this show just sends me into a tailspin of despair.

[LauraBB]

What the crikey fuck? This show is wacky crackers.
This blog cheers me up a lot!

[Gene]

The Casey the Alien or Stravos being frozen alive s/l was wayy better than what Guza has produce in his attire career. People also hated Gloria Monty's second run, but it was wayy better than this crap that is on our screens.

[Bethie]

Wacky crackers. . .LauraBB I love it! It is!

I love the comment wacky crackers that is. . .not the show.

What I don't get about a lot of this is Guza has written for GH since 1983. Surely in that time he learned what a soap opera is? Why is he giving us this crap?

[Kermitklein]

Now, we are talking about the same show that is showing Jason so furious at what Claudia did unintentionally while at the same time he's buddy buddy and sharing moments with the woman who intentionally placed his son in danger twice. Why shouldn't Spin champion Claudia? After all the grasshopper learned from his master. All it took was Sam saving Jake's life once to erase her all her intentional misdeeds with hiring gunmen to hold a gun to his child's face as well as hindering the police from locating his child when he was kidnapped by a mentally unstable woman. So why shouldn't Claudia get a pass for what she did to Michael considering it was unintentional? *Please note the sarcasm*

[Andrea]

Why does GH have every character act in a way to prop the horrible and evil Claudia?

[niccola1]

I completely co-sign to what Sarah stated up above, but I will also add this... what is it about that The Borg does not UNDERSTAND ABOUT COLLATERAL DAMAGE!??! This is the life this prick has chosen for himself running on 13 years now. His punk-ass should completely understand about taking out people that you feel for some mobby reason THAT YOU MUST DO. Its called PAYBACK IS A BITCH IN HEAT!!JASON!!!!! Look it the fuck up why don't YA!!!!

[Simone]

I find the Claudia story immensely entertaining. Guza was so desperate for a ratings stunt after the writers' strike that he came up with the brilliant idea of having Claudia order a hit on Sonny and have it go wrong and have Michael shot. Only Guza could think that this was a good idea. It is amusing watching him jump through hoops to save Claudia. He has even been forced to write Sonny and Jason as buffoons so she will not be caught. It does not get any better than watching Bob Guza hoisted on his own petard.

[B]

"The rampant plague of misogyny carries on now to every Mother on air." - Kels

and as of today we can add Alexis to that list too, now that we have nuKristina on canvas. woohoo. seriously, what the crikey fuck??