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« Days of Our Lives Week in Review | Main | Perhaps I Am Taking This Too Personally But: This Show Hurts Me »

July 14, 2009

How a Shirtless Soap Star Caused One of My Most Embarrassing Moments

I know what you're thinking:  Becca, you are both an admitted klutz and someone who tends to say exactly what you're thinking, even at inopportune moments, so surely hot men being shirtless routinely leads to your humiliation in one way or another.  But no, it's a relatively rare event, believe it or not!

Let me take you back to March.  Picture it:  Me, working long days, trying to keep up not only with my regular shows but the two additional ones we watched for a bit for our Soap Opera Digest column.  (I watched One Live to Live and As the World Turns.)  My work life was a bit insane so this meant watching soaps in the wee hours of the morning.  To sum up:  I was tired.  And also, I have a problem with names.  Read on to learn of the disturbing, nearly friendship-ending incident that occurred when those two factors came together early one spring morning.


From:  Becca
To:  Mallory
Date:  Mon, Mar 30, 2009 at 12:14 AM
Subject:  important, insomnia-fueled update

Dylan Cash has gotten super fit and hot.  I am deeply disturbed.


From:  Mallory   
To:  Becca
Date: Mon, Mar 30, 2009 at 8:54 AM
Subject:  Re:  important, insomnia-fueled update

This is the most shocking email I have ever received.


From:  Becca
To:  Mallory
Date:  Mon, Mar 30, 2009 at 9:48 AM
Subject:  Re:  important, insomnia-fueled update

Wait until you see the screencaps.  His skin also cleared up.  He is bordering on having his own hotly modifier.


From:  Becca
To:  Mallory
Date: Mon, Mar 30, 2009 at 10:42 AM
Subject:  Re:  important, insomnia-fueled update


Not Dylan Cash!  Ugh!  EWEWEWEWEW!

The dude who played Dillon!  Scott Clifton!  I TOLD YOU I WAS SLEEP DEPRIVED!  EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEW!


And then I texted AND called her in the middle of a work day, because I was so worried she thought I was a pedophile. 


From:  Mallory Harlen
To:  Becca
Date:    Mon, Mar 30, 2009 at 6:07 PM
Subject:  Now that I am fully recovered

from the shock of your earlier email (Hee! Your horror-filled text made me laugh uproariously, out loud, in front of people. I could just picture your panic!), I can only think of this to say about the state of GH: has there ever been a more awful and simultaneously boring show?


From:  Becca
To:  Mallory
Date:  Mon, Mar 30, 2009 at 7:33 PM
Subject:  Re: Now that I am fully recovered

I have not even watched today's show yet and I can guarantee I agree with your assessment.

OMG, when I realized the Dylan/Dillon mishap, I did a full-body shudder and then guffawed in my office.  Good lord!


From:  Mallory
To:  Becca
Date:  Mon, Mar 30, 2009 at 9:03 PM
Subject:  Re: Now that I am fully recovered

I was like, "and she makes fun of me about Zefron?!"


Months later, “This is the most shocking email I have ever received” still makes me laugh out loud.  Like, that is all she could say.  For more than 10 hours, Mallory thought I was intensely attracted to tiny, underage, redheaded Michael from GH.  The horror.

Now friends, why do I choose today of all days to share this slice of embarrassment with you?  Well, according to Dande, my personal Official Scott Clifton Shirtless Scene Previewer (note:  title bestowed by title-bearer), Scott Clifton appears shirtless once again today!  Dande responded to my OLTL call to arms and has been monitoring these occurrences without knowledge of the humiliation that launched Stalking Shirtless Scott (every caper should have a good name), so we shall see if after this disclosure I continue to get these vital updates. 

So run to your DVR or check out SOAPNet's rerun because trust me, you will agree:  OLTL does a body good.


Well, I'm not going to judge... too much. We all have our crosses to bear.

And, yes, I'll still keep you updated on the vital shirtless scenes.

That was very funny. Thank you.

"This is the most shocking email I have ever received." Heh heh. Indeed. Shocking.

I was so shocked when I first read this, I couldn't get past the first email. Dylan Cash? Did she just say DYLAN CASH is looking "hot?" Creepy Ginger-Kid MICHAEL - THAT Dylan Cash?

Then I started to question myself on whether I actually knew that kid's name. THEN I started imagining him being "super fit" and, granted, I have the flu, but I'm fairly sure my fever spiked again. Then I just decided I was hallucinating and needed to lie down.

After napping a bit, I came back and read it again, deciding to finish it to see if Mallory had you committed and perhaps that's why you've been absent - busy HA!

Figured out it was just a HORRIFIC error, and then it became funny - but forcing me to imagine Dylan Cash as "super fit and hot" has most certainly delayed my flu recovery by at least a day. I think you owe me an apology....

Most shocking and most hillarious!

OMG!!! That is absolutely priceless.

Scott Clifton has indeed grown up incredibly nicely.

I was at a loss for words! And then I contemplated deleting all emails from you, lest I wind up arrested or watched by the FBI as part of a sting operation. Thankfully, you corrected yourself before it came to that.

Too funny. Scott Clifton is most definitely super good-looking now. And Mallory, I'm totally with you on the hotness that is Zac Efron. He is sooo yummy.

Oh, yes. Zac Efron is Rob Lowe (circa '85) hot.

Scott Clifton is lookin' right. "Umm...How you doin'?" LOL!!

Truly hilarious!!

and speaking of shirtless soapstars VH1 has a new dating show called My Antonio starring Antonio Sabato Jr. I thought you guys would be interested.

OMG, that is priceless. Poor thing, I feel for you Becca I truly do, but that return email from Mallory is awesome, hee.

OLTL has the hottest boys.

OMG that email exchange is hilarious. But yes, Scott Clifton has gotten very hot, and I actually record OLTL every day to watch him. I am not ashamed. :D

Thank God you don't have a fetish for Chucky. That would be vom inducing and I'm not sure I would ever recover.

That said, I think I could deal with the crapfest that is GH if they would just let Lucky go shirtless in a scene or two. Instead we get...Spinelli... Hell, I'd even take Jason over that.

ohh Jaynaynay....girl after my own heart....1000% agree on that one..but you knew that already didn't you? =p

Becca is a cooooou-gar, Becca is a cooooou-gar... :p

Best mental pictures ever!!!

I can just picture Mallory's look of stunned horror and confusion as she tried to make sense of that email for ten hours, and Becca's utter revulsion when she realized her mistake.

Absolutely. Hilarious. I died laughing, even though I knew who was being talked about from the start.

Meh. The worst thing about GH giving up Georgie and Dillon is that both Scott and Lindze are turning into stunningly hot adults, and had they just waited a little bit we could have had good, developed, charismatic, well-acted, long-term young actors with chemistry fronting our early 20-something scene instead of "geek gets the skank" and Lulu's seasonal lovers.



I just got totally depressed all over again.

I hate this effing show.

Bah! My comment was in response to Smirks' comment about Georgie and Dillon.



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