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« Port Charmless | Main | Soap Blog Coalition »

July 08, 2009

Law & Disorder

I suppose it is my own fault, what with my constant fawning over Jesse and Angie, and brazenly claiming that they "make everything better" and "are awesome". Of course the writers are going to seize upon that as a dare! "Oh, they make everything better, do they?" and then we wind up watching Jesse cover up a murder of an almost-rapist by a scared, pregnant woman1 obviously committed in self defense2 by sneaking a body out of a hotel room on a room service cart3, staging a car accident and betting on people buying that the victim died in a car accident and not from being hit with a blunt object4 and when his simpleton daughter-in-law5 points out that the coroner would surely realize that the murder actually occurred hours earlier, crosses his fingers and hopes that the car would maybe blow up and that wouldn't be an issue6. Because Charles Pratt is as cruel as he is incompetent.

This show isn't really All My Children, is it? It's some bizarre hour of programming featuring actors we know playing characters with the same names as characters we once knew and loved, acting out scripts that are no more than word association games.

1Why do the writers take the "children" part of All My Children so literally? Can we really not go a week without a new baby storyline?

2So obviously committed in self defense that Jesse ACTUALLY STATED IT WAS SELF DEFENSE and felt compelled to cover it up anyway

3 What kind of hotel sends room service up on a cart the size of a freaking gurney? That huge cart, and all I saw in

4And yet he took great pains to make sure that North's seatbelt was buckled

5 So pretty, but so, so dim. And yet, obviously smart enough to catch a few episodes of CSI and have basic knowledge of forensics and criminal investigations unlike, apparently, the Pine Valley chief of police.

What the everloving fuck?


AMC totally took that as a dare. I know I've said the same thing about the amazing ability of Angie & Jesse to make things better. Alas I believe Pratt has found a way to render their abilities ineffective. Wiley bastard.

Yeah, watching AMC makes about as much sense as watching the plethora of daytime judges' shows. At least with the judges' shows, you don't expect much from the plaintiff or defendant, and the judge usually offers some practical, if albeit, obvious advice and a reasonable verdict. With AMC, it's just stupid, stupid, and more stupid. Nothing practical or reasonable.

I loved me some Jesse Hubbard during my college days, and Pratt has effectively made him unwatchable now. Why does Pratt continue to write for a show that he so obviously hates?!

Why do 99.9% of Soap Opera executives and their writers think their audiences are functionally retarded misogynists? What did we ever do to deserve this insulting stupid shit they serve up to us formerly known as daytime drama?

Any random wild monkey who watches 3 episodes of ER, 2 episodes of any Law and Order, 1 episode of Boston Legal, 2 episodes of CSI, and any episode of NS2 would be a better writer and show runner for any daytime drama. All soap doctors, cops, criminals, lawyers or human beings on any current soap would be lucky to have said monkey running and writing their show. It would be a massive improvement. Except Y&R which is oddly kicking soap ass even though the Moustache is still alive.

Too bad charactor assassination isn't a crime. Pratt would be looking at numerous life sentences, running consecutively of course. What an ass he is.

The only good thing about Jesse yesterday was that, for a moment, it made me forget Adam begging Annie for forgiveness.... Pratt probably planned it that way.

those scenes would've been better on mute.

as would most of the show.

have you ever considered doing running commentary a la mystery science theater? that would also make this show better.

Maybe this is just a new strategy by ABC for all its soaps - it's picking up the ball that DAYS has tried to drop. Remember the days when DAYS was a complete cartoon? People doing outrageous things in WAY over the top stories with no logic or sense behind them? That's ABC across the board (OLTL is still trying to hang on but AMC and GH have completely given in). Really, the soaps on ABC are increasingly being written (aside from the sex) like they are are destined for the cartoon channel. And really, these days, that's putting cartoons in a bad light - they have more story consistency and logic and respect for history than either AMC or GH. Isn't that sad?

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