Daytime Emmys Recap: Worst Dressed
If you've been reading us long enough, you know that what we like even more than pretty ensembles are baffling ones, not only because it allows us the chance to broaden our vocabularies and learn new words to put in our mocking arsenal, but also because our reaction to them is usually totally reasonable and not at all OTT dramatic and hypercritical. Well, one of those things is probably true.
As they do every year, the Daytime Emmys brought us a boatload of fug that went from run-of-the-mill visually unappealing (of the "you have money and access to tons of stuff -- though admittedly to a lesser extent than people at Real Grown-Up Network-Based awards show -- so why do you look so meh?"), to the "HOLY GOD MY EYES! MY EYES!" sartorial travesties. Our picks for Worst Dressed of the 2009 Emmy Awards are below.
RACHEL! You are young, thin and gorgeous. You chose the one dress in the universe that could possibly make you look bad. Not just bad: insane. The ginormous flower, the tulle bustle, the beaded tulle in random places, the earrings, the fact that it appeared on camera to be both the color and texture of mold...we could go on, but we don't have the bandwidth to list every single fashion don't in this ensemble.
The color is beautiful on her, but that bow, and that hair, and those earrings! Dreadful. Becca actually yelped when she saw the hair, and it launched junior high flashbacks that lasted throughout the evening. They were somewhat counterbalanced by her mother's 65-year-old boyfriend walking through the living room, catching a glimpse of Gina's coif, and exclaiming "Last of the Mohicans"! So hilarity ensued, but so did mid-80s flashbacks, Ms. Tognoni, and those are rarely good.
From the print, which is surely a favorite of kindly old ladies who play canasta and/or the cushions on rattan couches in Florida, to the random beading and ugly back, this was wrong, wrong, wrong.
We're not sure how he managed to mix up "Daytime Emmys" and "Sonny Crockett Lookalike Contest", but he did. How embarrassing!
Also, is hair-brushing out again for men? Does this mean Ethan Hawke might get re-famous? Ugh.
Oh, Bree. The fit was all wrong, the strange sheer overlay was ugly, the braid was all wrong, and is that your hem that is obviously visible? Plus then you went and bedazzled your hips! Why would a woman ever do that?! We can get together and share our ideas for far more awesome craft projects; just say the word.
Surely it would have been easier to ask for an extra ticket to the show, rather than go through the trouble of festooning a papoose to her already questionable dress? Or perhaps because they didn't sit everyone at tables this year (wise after last year's apparent all-you-can-drink consequences), she was trying to sneak in some snacks and a fifth? The hair and earrings are terrible as well, unless it turns out we actually DID travel back in time to Dallas, 1982.
Sometimes we can do no better than quoting Nina Garcia. The taste level is not there. It is aesthetically not pleasing.
Becca: Good for Susan Haskell for winning, I guess, but oh my GOD, her dress was worse than the fashion shoot segment and Tyra Banks winning for being informative [AGAIN], combined. Ewewew.
Mallory: My notes from when she won said, "Susan Haskell wins, her dress is ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!" She turned me into Kevin McCallister!
Be honest; this is much more fun than picking Best Dressed.
And then there are those who you can't, in good faith, call the worst, because doing so would really be hurtful to the word "worst".
Sweet Jesus, what is happening here?
Whatting the what?
It's like she's a half-colonel in the Tacky Vegas Wedding Ice Capades.
IS THIS REAL LIFE?
It's a shame about Rachel Melvin. Her dress had a lot of potential. I would've made the bow much, much smaller and used a knee-length skirt instead of a long train. The color of the dress didn't really bother me, though I'm not a fan of the combination of dark dress, dark earrings, and dark eye makeup. As for the earrings themselves....Less is more, Rachel.
Posted by: Carly | August 31, 2009 at 04:13 PM
Is that a CAT on a CHAIN? Is it? IS IT????
Posted by: Kat | August 31, 2009 at 04:21 PM
http://stevenbergmanphotography.com/ximagi/#page=0&view=gallery&key=
More to mock the most comprehensive photos I have seen.
Lexi Ainsworth shoes are fabulous though.
Posted by: Sarah | August 31, 2009 at 04:25 PM
If there's anything that raises questions as to one's taste, it's putting a dead, stiff cat on a chain and wearing it like a purse.
What. the fucking. fuck?!
Also, Susan Haskell has had this hippy-esque, patchouli aesthetic since the 90s so the dress wasn't too much of a surprise. I think I just went 'Yeah, looks like something she'd wear' when I saw it. I think it would have been very interesing without that yellow tie dyed streak across the middle.
Bree Williamson's dress would have been oodles better without that weird sheer overlay. Yes, even with the bedazzling. Without the weirdness it would have been right up her street of sassy and unusual. Her hair was all kinds of wrong, though.
Gina Tognoni's hair joins the all kinds of wrong list. I think she needs some framing of the face to sharpen the edges... and this list of pictures shows that she and Jacob Young have the exact same jawline.
Posted by: Dandesun | August 31, 2009 at 04:42 PM
For a second, I thought Van Hansis was Ellen Degeneres.
Posted by: danny | August 31, 2009 at 06:31 PM
I literally jumped and went "WTF?" when I saw Rachel Melvin's dress. What was she thinking? As for Stacy Haiduk, don't even get me started. That is so many levels of wrong, there aren't enough words in the world to express the wrongness...
Posted by: Michelle | August 31, 2009 at 07:11 PM
Liz Hendrickson didnt make this list?!?
Posted by: soapunk | August 31, 2009 at 08:32 PM
Jacob Young is channeling Ronn Moss. I don't even really like JY and I want to stage an intervention.
Posted by: Lauren | August 31, 2009 at 09:41 PM
Aww, how sweet! Mari Jo brought Kitty to the party ! Actually, I think that little wardrobe joke shows the actress has a healthy sense of humor- which I'm certain she needs, given the writing over on Y and R these past months.
Posted by: Nmissi | August 31, 2009 at 10:16 PM
Van Hansis looks like Ellen Degeneres.
I like Susan Haskell's dress except for that
yellow part in the middle.
Posted by: Natalie | August 31, 2009 at 11:14 PM
I am a huge cat lover. I love that Kitty went to the Daytime Emmys with Stacy. He was the best character of the year. He deserved to go. Kitty and Stacy shared many memorable scenes.
Good on you Stacy.
Posted by: Kimba | August 31, 2009 at 11:47 PM
Oh sweet Jesus, Stacy....did she keep her lip gloss safely tucked up the cat's ass for quick makeup touches during the night? I do like that she gave him a jaunty bow to match her dress. The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize - or in this case, makes us one with the animals...eesh.
I do think Sandra Oh should have been included on this list. The bright purple, huge-shoulder, looks-to-be-a-maternity frock was just BAD BAD BAD. The only good thing about the ensemble was the cookie wand she brought out during the Sesame Street tribute.
Of Van Hansis' suit had been just a WEE bit darker, he could have been channeling Napoleon Dynamite. I also LOATHE the pants stuck behind the shoes instead of over them. This outfit looks like it should have come with a "special helmet."
Gina Tognoni - Some surfer could totally hang 10 on that bitchin' wave she's got goin' there. Killer.
All I can think of with Rachel Melvin is Little Shop of Horrors.
I can't look at Susan Haskell. I...just...can't. I literally am nauseous. Is this so she could get stinkin' drunk at the Emmy after parties and puke on her dress without anyone noticing?
Posted by: Rene | September 01, 2009 at 02:57 AM
Jacob Young was wearing a hat because he shaved his head for his cancer storyline. But he looked fine bald and should have left the hat at home.
IA...Elizabeth Hendrickson should have been #1 on the train wreck list.
Posted by: Sally | September 01, 2009 at 07:46 AM
where is PETA with the dead cat routine? Not classy in my mind but whatever.
Agreed with Van Hansis I thought it was Ellen for a minute! Portia deRossi rocked her dress though!!!!
Posted by: katiya | September 02, 2009 at 01:22 AM
forgot to add the only person who has looked halfway decent with the bow on the chest style was Michelle Obama at Senator Kennedy's funeral the other day!
Posted by: katiya | September 02, 2009 at 01:27 AM
We have creating knowledge at different sorts linked ideas accomplish,then document am whats up so that they monetary fund that the vast majority blogkeepers thoughts image want so as crappy,sadly i must say joining your downline must be possibly not, i including visitors any this webpage,and even drafted this totally relieved or would likely master something available additional,and consequently getting rid of regard some thoughts simply because
Posted by: Nike Shox NZ | July 06, 2010 at 12:01 AM
Surely it would have been easier to ask for an extra ticket to the show, rather than go through the trouble of festooning a papoose to her already
Posted by: NFL Jerseys | July 18, 2010 at 08:47 PM