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« A Family Affair | Main | My Heart! My Stomach! My Antonio! »

August 17, 2009

Horror Has A New Name

Rebecca: Nikolas, are you all right?

Nikolas: Why? Shouldn't I be?

Rebecca: I don't know. I mean, did something happen?

Nikolas: What's the matter? Afraid I'm gonna hurt you? Merely wanted to give you this.

Rebecca: What's that?

Nikolas: One million dollars. That's what you came to Port Charles for, isn't it, to get what Emily had? Go ahead. Come on. Take it. You earned it, because that is what whores like you do!

I will cop to being excited when Nikolas began to give Rebecca an expert smackdown today, if only because I am excited whenever anybody takes the opportunity to confront Rebecca about the fact that she is awful. I believe my exact words were, "Oh, it is on."

And then it went so very, very wrong. And not even in the "so wrong, it's right" kind of way, where I can at least laugh at the unintentional humor and camp factor. No, this was the "So wrong that I feel terrible for Tyler Christopher and Natalia Livingston that this episode was broadcast to the dozens of people still watching General Hospital, because no person should have to live with that kind of embarrassment" kind of wrong.

There were some parts that I watched from behind my eyes, in a classic pose usually reserved for horror movies (curled up, chin resting on knees, hands covering my face) and others that I couldn't hear over the sound of my own nervous laughter. 

This is what happens when you have an actress whose repertoire consists solely of widening or narrowing her eyes while smiling, pouting or sneering; an actor who, depending on his mood, will be either competent, disinterested to the point of being visibly bored, or over-the-top hammy; a director who, I presume, is actually a simian; and a producing and writing staff that has no idea how to write to someone's strengths. BAD happens!

Nikolas: You exploited the memory of your dead sister. You tried to steal from everyone who loved her, w-with the help of some--some limey hustler you whored yourself out to at J.F.K.

Rebecca: Ok, that's not the way it was.

Nikolas: That is exactly how it happened! And that bastard, Ethan, he turned on you, didn't he? He finally turned on you, and that--that truly is a pity, because, sweetheart, you were this close. You were so close.

Rebecca: I was gonna tell you tonight, Nikolas. I swear I was.

Nikolas: I am so--I am so happy that Emily never met you, because she would be appalled by you. Now get out of my house.

Rebecca: No, not until I tell you my side.

Nikolas: You get out of my house!

So far, so good, right? They let Tyler Christopher do the heavy lifting and Natalia Livingston chirped while looking wide-eyed (that's NL for "Scared and/or innocent"). But then Rebecca started to explain her convoluted and poorly planned scheme.

She started by piling on the "You don't know how hard my life is"


Rebecca: I've had to work for everything that I ever had. Nikolas, it took me three years and three summers to get a lousy tech degree from the local junior college, because I had to work two jobs to pay for the tuition.

She had to work two jobs! THE HORROR!

And then quickly got righteously angry that the man she specifically tried to steal from had no interest in her sob story.

Rebecca: God, I don't want your damn money, Nikolas!

Rebecca: Are you listening to me?!

And the more angry she got, the more yelling Natalia Livingston did, complete with facial contortions.





And the more crazy faces she pulled, and the louder her yelling got, the more trouble I had watching. "Why are they letting her do this?! They should have done an emergency recast for this episode. I think that a lifesize cutout of her likeness with a robot voiceover would have done just fine".

Rebecca: God, I was the one that got sold, Nikolas! Don't you understand that?! I had to work for everything that I ever had, and Emily, I mean, she was filthy rich.

Rebecca: She got free tuition to a medical school. She became a doctor. She married a prince.

Nikolas: So, because of all that, you decided to--to steal from her?

Rebecca: Yes. Yes. Yes, stupidly. I came to get my fair share. I was gonna show up, and then I got stranded at J.F.K. There was a snowstorm, and--

Nikolas: Oh, right, where you turned your first trick with Ethan. I remember that.

Rebecca: I was supposed to come here, grab as much money as I could, and just leave town, but I couldn't, because I couldn't shut down my heart.

I suppose I can't blame Natalia Livingston for not being able to make that last line work, because I don't think even Nancy Lee Grahn, or Jess Walton, or Debbi Morgan could say "I couldn't shut down my heart" and be audible over the sounds of my retching.

Rebecca: No, I make you happy. I make you happy. Nikolas, you've told me that so many times. I'm in love with you, and I know you're in love with me, not as a replacement of Emily, but--but for who I really am.

Nikolas: Damn you. I know who you really are, what you've always been. And that... Is a cheap substitute for Emily. Now get out of my house.

It was when she began pleading with Nikolas, with dead eyes, that I finally went to IMDB to find out the name of the girl who played Vicky on Small Wonderand see if her name could, in any way, be linked to that of Natalia Livingston or one of her pseudonyms (her name, Tiffany Brissette, could not, but I still have my theories, especially since they were both born on the 26th day of different months in different years. Coincidence? I THINK NOT).

During the actual fight scene, Tyler Christopher performed...I can't say admirably, because he has obviously spent time studying at the Tony Geary and Bruce Weitz Academy of Over The Top What The Fuckery, if today's hammy, spittle filled performance is anything to go by...



...but he conveyed recognizable emotions, and spoke in a normal syntax, which is more than I can say for his scene partner.

(Also, in how many different ways did Nikolas call Rebecca a whore? She's a whore, she whored herself out, she...

Nikolas: Yes. Yes. Yes, I'm listening. Ok, and so the point being is you're not a gold digger...

Rebecca: Right.

Nikolas: You just spread your legs out of the goodness of your heart.

I have a terrible vision of the writers high-fiving each other whenever they come up with a new way of calling someone a slut.)



Rebecca left, and Nikolas went on a rampage, because he was TORTURED and HEARTBROKEN and DEVASTATED and ANGRY, and he took all of these emotions out on the vases and tchotchkes that line the Wyndemere walls

and then he moaned to Emily.

Nikolas: Oh, my--Emily, why'd you leave me? Why'd you leave me like that?

And I had to leave the room because I felt so awful about watching that, like I had intruded on the most embarrassing moment in a person's life.

When I came back, Nikolas was practically suicidal, pouring his heart out to Elizabeth, and I couldn't watch. I couldn't find my remote while cringing, so I did hear part of their conversation before I turned the episode off

Nikolas: How did you get past Alfred?

Elizabeth: He's worried about you.

Did he think that Elizabeth, like, muscled her way in, overpowering Alfred with one of the many weapons she keeps on her person? And I think we all know that "he's worried for you" is code for "He's cleaning up your mess and when I asked where you were, he said, 'Bitch craaaaaaazy'".

Watch the confrontation scenes yourself, if you dare!


Okay, I no longer watch GH and from time to time I post stating that I'm so glad I no longer watch GH but this time I'm REALLY GLAD I no longer watch GH. I can't believe a character like Nikolas would say something like "spread legs". I'm appalled and I'm disgusted that this show has once again sunk so low. It's one thing for a character like Sonny to say something like this but now it's Nikolas?!? My poor beloved GH has been reduced to a poor man's version of The Jerry Springer Show. So sad. Frons and Guza must be so proud.

Rebecca: God, I was the one that got sold, Nikolas! Don't you understand that?! I had to work for everything that I ever had, and Emily, I mean, she was filthy rich.

Rebecca: She got free tuition to a medical school. She became a doctor. She married a prince.

Me: She watched her mother die of cancer at 15. She had breast cancer. She was violently raped by Nikolas' twin. She was abandoned by her prince when she couldn't get over being raped on his timetable. She had an affair with Sonny Corinthos. She then was strangled to death for kicks by a zombie. Oh yeah, Emily had a great fucking life!

I was no fan of Emily's but Rebecca is the absolute worst. Natalia Livingston should have asked Sarah Brown for pointers on how to play that scene. Livingston seems incapable of giving this loathsome character any depth or humanity.

I think I was supposed to feel sorry for Nik in this...or cheer him on in his righteous anger...but all I could think was...umm dude you were warned about this MONTHS ago.....

I was with you about Bruce Weitz right up to the point Nik started taking it out on poor innocent objects that shatter when broken.....then I realized it's the Bruce/Maurice hybrid he was going for......

I can't beleive I forgot to add this...Natalia Livingston...a Daytime Emmy Winning Supporting Actress.. I hope she lines up room on her shelf for that second one.

To be fair, I think Albert might just be the one person little wisp Elizabeth could overpower, though I think it would be a struggle. She probably just whipped out her ultimate weapon: the patented Webber "Bitch, please!" look.

Thank God I don't watch anymore. Mallory, I give you so much credit for still sitting through this dreck. There is a special place in heaven for you.

I had to tell you though, that this part, "...Tony Geary and Bruce Weitz Academy of Over The Top What The Fuckery...", brought tears to my eyes. So true and SO funny!

I nearly died laughing at the line about NLG, JW, and DM since as a huge fan of all 3 I fully understood your position than even they could not sell that line.

For the record I was embarrassed & cringing for Tyler & Natalia just from reading your recaps. I don't think that is a good sign for Tyler, Natalia, or GH more generally.

I LOVE YOU! When I read you posts I laugh hysterically while enjoying your writing style and most of all ITA!

Maybe Rebecca's punishment should be dating Sonny, since w/him flinging bar ware and craaaazy psycho fits are the norm. Seriously, it's like he was reciting an old "Sonny mad at _____ (insert woman's name)" script, complete with drunken smashing and whore-naming.

I would argue that NL is making a choice to not be connected with her story in the clip to give Rebecca layers, but it would be like arguing that salt tastes too peppery.

This show is so sick and horrifyingly bad. Especially now in this freaking economy the writer's want us to feel sympathy for Rebecca because she had to "work for everything she had"..... are they legally insane or legally stupid or both? Unless GH is all the rage with billionaires who inherited their wealth who the fuck do they think watches this show? PEOPLE WHO WORK! In the real world we all have to work for what we have dipshit writers!!! STOP INSULTING US IN EVERY WAY YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE, IT'S WHY WE ARE TURNING OUT IN DROVES. That and the fact you can't tell a story to save your lives.

Not that it makes any sense or difference, but Rebecca's parents had enough money to buy a baby and Emily's had to sell one just to feed the remaining twin. Emily is the one who should have been pissed off. PLUS HER BIRTH FAMILY AND MOST OF HER ADOPTED ONE ARE ALL DEAD.

NL's acting is not improving. She had a few wonderful powerful scenes during the hotel bombing when she was flipping out and furious and terrified over her family and friends impending deaths. But besides that, I am at a loss for why bringing her back in any capacity seemed like such a great Guza idea. It makes me fear a back from the dead Courtney is coming. Be afraid, be very afraid.

When did Tyler Christopher become Jimmy Kimmel? He isn't even close to being romantic-lead-cute anymore.

That fat head of his could lead its own spinoff!

To be fair, Nik may be trying to figureout how people in general get into Wyndamere since he seems to have the same security issues that Sonny (and his ex-wives and children) have to contend with. I imagine that someone is tryijng to figure out where the security breaches are.

I actually found it refreshing to see Nik have some emotiions and to seem to find humor in things today. I mean he was laughing! He seemed more lively and in the moment than he has during all these months of bliss while he was "falling in love" with Rebecca and even more than when he was with Emily most of the time. Maybe he just finds it WAY easier to act condescending and angry while doing scenes with NL.

I haven't been able to make myself care about this show the last few weeks, and your post affirmed the rightness of that decision, but I continue to check in on you girls for just this reason:

"Tony Geary and Bruce Weitz Academy of Over The Top What The Fuckery"

You gave me a new incarnation of the F word, which happens to be one of my favorite words! How often is it that we discover new uses for something we've been using for years??? :-)

Oh the horror of these scenes. I am sure if Kimberly and Jason were doing them they would be fabulous because 2 monotone one note actors are better than campy over the top acting. I thought the scenes were campy and OTT and righteously soapy and stupid and loved every minute of them.

Oh the horror of these scenes. I am sure if Kimberly and Jason were doing them they would be fabulous because 2 monotone one note actors are better than campy over the top acting. I thought the scenes were campy and OTT and righteously soapy and stupid and loved every minute of them.

Kill me I didn't hate these scenes but I do think they were horribly written. But no offense to the ladies who write this I usually love your snark, but it seems unless scenes on this show involve Liz, Lucky, Liz, Jason, or Patrick and Robin and Nancy Grahn, everything else is crap. I realize these are the most popular online actors. I thought the scenes while overacted and bad, were campy and over the top in a traditional soap style. I personally don't find anyone on GH compelling as an actor in any way and that includes NLG. But to each his own.

You'd think a prince would know that if Ethan is from Australia, he's not a "limey." Also I think someone should keep a tally on how many times women on the show are called bitches, sluts, tramps, trash and whores. I bet there is a sign on the writers room door like a boys' clubhouse that says, "Girl-Haters Club."

Who thinks Tyler Christopher is a good actor. My lord he either looks bored or overacts tremendously. Natalia has never ever been a good actress but I'll say in scenes outside of Tyler, she comes to life.

Nikolas and Emily were corny and sappy and nauseating at times but they were organic. They made sense as Liz and Lucky do, as Jason and Sam do. I just don't get what GH is doing with all their couples. I hate them all now including Patrick and Robin. The thought of a Nikolas and Liz affair now even makes me vomit. They could have done something decent storywise for them but all it will be is some sleazy affair again pushing Lucky away. When will GH understand, Lucky and Liz like Luke and Laura belong.

Natalia sweety go back to Emily. I partially blame the show. They've given her character nothing to work with aside from again being the sappy boring Nikolas love interest. And Tyler go take some acting lessons. Nikolas has gone from a cute interesting Cassadine to a bloated boring ass character. I partially blame the writing but hell he brings nothing to his scenes asolutely nothing.

I saw this episode and my first thought was "my god, what happened to Tyler's face" because - while I know he's put on weight - his face seems to have gone into bloat overload over night . I don't know if he's taking some weight gain formula or if there is some medical condition we aren't aware of, but something's wrong there.

Second, the moment "whore" came out of Nikolas' lips, I knew Guza was tickled pink. I'm convinced his favorite scripts are the ones that demean women and have "whore" and "slut" liberally used. His issues with women are plastered all over this show and it is really quite sad and pathetic.

Wow how many times does a prince say whore, slut, trick. Nikolas Cassadine has become Sonny.Not one character I used to love on GH resembles who they were. If Nikolas turning dark means calling Rebecca a whore every 2 minutes and having sex with Liz, I think they need to kill of all these characters and be done with it. The creative juices at GH are done. And IA what the crap has happened to Tyler. He used to be a gorgeous man and at least mediocre actor.

I liked the scenes yesterday. Hell I don't expect greatness from GH. And watching Y&R, that show is in the pits too. I thought aside from Nik being drunk and bloated his reaction was understandable although the term whore is not something I would expect Nik to say.

And Rebecca. Yeah I know this site gives NL a lot of crap. I don't find her a good actress but I don't think any of the other actors on GH are any better barring maybe Jane Elliott and Nancy Grahn at times, but even Nancy turns into KeMo jazz hands a lot.. And if anyone says Carolyn Hennessey and her hammy over the top performnace as Diane is good I'll faint.

I think Emily would have fallen apart over this. Rebecca stood her ground and I think unintentionally showed little emotion except when she thought she'd won Nikolas over. Then you saw joy in her face which quickly disappeared as soon as she realized he was pulling back.

And NL in the Metro Court. I didn't find her OOT reactions good nor did I think TC was good with Emily's death. SBu and BH had the most touching underplayed reactions to Emily's death and were wonderful.

Personally, didn't watch the episode. Didn't really have to watch the episode because I kind of figured it wouldn't go voer that well. I, by no means, think that NL is a great actress and everyday she is on GH I still wonder why the hell they brought her back.

That being said, the reason I couldn't watch the show yesterday comes out quite simply that I have stopped watching GH period until I hear about improvements and your recapping of yesterday's scene between Nik and Rebecca clearly shows there are no improvements going on with this show when you have Nik calling Rebecca a whore and talking about her betrayal of him when he himself is being shown flirting and trying to kiss Elizabeth who is currently with his BROTHER and on top of that, where they showed him in the same night, going from trying to work his way into Rebecca's bed to going to Jakes and playing what if we can be together with Elizabeth. And they wonder how come some of the viewers feel no sympathy for Nik. Hell he's willing to go behind his brother's back to flirt and try to kiss up on Elizabeth, but we're supposed to believe what...that Rebecca broke his heart.

My God. That is the worst acting I've ever seen. Are we sure Natalia Livingston is alive? Even if she didn't have access to the script prior to shooting this scene and had to rely entirely on what she could read from cue cards this is staggeringly bad. Like 2003 Replacement Belle (HorriBelle) on Days bad. Epic.

I thought yesterday's epi was funny as hell. I decided to not really pay attention to the negatives (although I did for NL b/c she was just......yeah) b/c I'm just so happy that people got to mean to Rebecca, especially Tracey.

I havent watched it yet but I will and I will love it.

I know it's like the theme here to really rag on Natalia Livingston which is fine each to their own but i actually think she's a pretty good actress, Emily was always cast off as a weak character but i actually saw a lot more then that in NL's portrayal of her, she was feisty and had a lot of spunk (look up some of her fight scene not to mention the work she did on the cancer and rape storyline), i know her and Nik's relationship was pure cheese but i liked it (B4 Sonny and Courtney) at least to me thats how a soap romance should be soapy. i'm not the biggest rebecca fan i don't mind her but i feel it was written very badly probably would have been better to just make her Emily (there's still time Guza WISE THE F*** UP!). I really didn't think the acting was all that bad "shoot me" the liz and nik scene made be feel a little uncomfortable but only because it felt to forced? the script stunk, Nik and Rebecca's jigs up scene could have been loads better but we all know who's to blame for that,

seriously though i'm at a loss with Guza i have to agree his female issues are REALLY starting to bother me he's like one of those creepy psycho recluse guys in films that live with their mom and spend their days cutting out pictures of women and writing whore across the clippings using their own blood for ink...

Nik is a hypocrite. He wanted Rebecca away from Lucky, because she looked like Emily, so, he smacked a kiss on Liz in front of Lucky. Lucky/Rebecca had chemistry. Nik is now so busy stalking Liz and sucking her face off while he is suppose to BE with Rebecca? Nik is coming off as a big sleaze, hitting on his ex sister-in-law who is taking things slowing with Lucky. Liz refused on two separate occasions Jason's marriage proposal because of Sam, now, we're suppose to believe this woman is kissing Nik? WTF? Liz has never shown any interest in Nik. Nik in 1999 wanted Liz, but, the writers saw the chemistry between Liason and dropped any Liz/Nik pairing. Nik was warned about Rebecca, maybe if he focused taking care of Spencer and getting professional help dealing with Emily's death and stop trying to replace that relationship with her twin sister and sucking Liz's face off, we wouldn't see this contrived dark prince windermere nonsense on our screens. I'm so tired of Nik going dark, Lucky going dark, I wish they would all head out of PC on the nearest boat and let it explode. Boom.

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