Something Wicked This Way Comes...Every Afternoon At 3 PM

Much like there are only two types of General Hospital plots (Mob and Not-Mob, But Features Mob in a Supporting Role), there are usually two types of General Hospital promos. The first is the promo that features outdated footage of happy couples with a romantic, upbeat song playing in the background. This is their way of saying, "Love in the afternoon? We do that, kind of!" The second is the promo that explicitly spells out the upcoming month's plots in detail done, perhaps, as a favor to the audience to spoil plot twists and save us from tuning in, maybe?

So I applaud their creativity in doing something different with their latest "Something Wicked This Way Comes" teaser. I just don't know if this...wait, let me try again. This seems to be...no, that didn't work either.

I'm sorry, I'm trying to think of a diplomatic way to say, "What the fuuuuuuck?" but I'm failing. I just think that's the only reaction to have to a commercial that includes a ghoulish Helena voiceover AND a carousel horse crying blood. If anything, I think I actually could have added a few more u's to really convey the bizarreness of it all.

AND A CLOWN! I am reasonably sure that the clown closeup is even more terrifying than most of the current GH storylines (I say "most" because I'm starting to believe that Sonny and Claudia's relationship is at least as scary as clowns are).

Comments

[Hillary]

Oh. My. Lord. That was... beyond words. Seriously, what the fuck was that?! I am... at a loss. It was almost creative and intriguing, but then the fact that is was completely bizarre made me terrified of what it means. Really, the only comment I have can be summed up as: *...*

This effing show.

[Kelly]

Anybody ever see or read Ray Bradbury's "Something wicked this way comes"? Definitely ups the 'what the....!?" factor, but in an even creepier way. Especially with that carousel (which plays a major part in the movie/novel).

[Michaela]

I just...I don't even...wut??

[Chelsea]

i was seriously creeped out and said "what the fuck" also..im a little scared im not goin 2 lie

[lisbeth]

Whoa! More than a little intrigued. But also more than a little cautious. Seen build up before become an absolute disaster to watch on GH, so waiting it out.

[Sarah]

Besides being yet again disgusted and generally furious that this is the state of GH, I see this promo as an interesting look into Guza's crazy sick dumb brain.

I see this as a clear sign he knows his endless horrible attempts to gain the Sopranos audience have all failed miserably. So he looked at the trades from a few years back and saw the massive money train that was the SAW franchise. So the "genius" that he is is now going to try and reign in that younger demo by promoting GH for the horror show it is. The only thing that promo was missing was the trail of dead babies and the mobsters gunning them down as they ran by the tilt a whirl.

He sees that last carnival where only one cop died (Jesse Beaudry) as a failure and he is going to make it right now by killing as many cops and innocents as possible. I bet Super Sam and St. Jasus even save the town from disaster at this blood bath.

I feel the carousel pony's pain. GH makes my eyes bleed too.

[Louise]

The most vague thing ever. Way to go, GH, now you can do ANYthing at all and say this was a promo for it.

[SummerJay]

I'm not gonna lie that promo gave me goose-pimples of anticipation... but then i remembered it was a promo for GH. Bitch slapped myself right back to reality.

[SummerJay]

I'm not gonna lie that promo gave me goose-pimples of anticipation... but then i remembered it was a promo for GH. Bitch slapped myself right back to reality.

[kimbers]

Something stupid this way comes.

[Dawn]

This promo is a lead in to something that is not even going to play out the way they want us to think. Just wait and see.......the promos are ALWAYS better than the actual story they showcase. Remember the toxin in the hospital thing? The promo was GREAT, made you think it was going to be an exciting, edge of your seat story. Yeah, right, the story itself sucked ginormous monkey balls.

[Dawn]

WHAT KIMBERS SAID!!!

[Simone]

At least, the promo was different from the usual, "it is the event that will change PC forever." I'm too much a cynic to even bite. My reaction was the usual "whatever."

[LauraBB]

>>>>I feel the carousel pony's pain. GH makes my eyes bleed too.
Good one, Sarah!

[Kelita]

GH is doing a big event with violence? It is sweeps again already?

And seriously are they trying to make people think it's a horror show and not a soap opera?

[valmir]

Good grief, just another opportunity for Jason to be superman with Sam being wonderwoman by his side.

It will probably be interesting the first day and make no sense by the second day! GH has trained its viewers well ...

[kadie]

i saw that the other day but wasn't sure if i was hallucinating! bizarre!

[Chad]

I have to admit, I'm excited that they're actually planning an event storyline around Helena Cassadine, but, yeah, then I remember Guza is involved and I get sad and anxious again.

[Hartz]

I LOVE your blog, usually I read and don't comment but this was just too much...

I might be the only person who hasn't heard ANYTHING about the carnival but just watching the promo makes me want to NOT watch... I mean is that supposed to be appealing? Someone else is going to get hurt or die, and since it's a carnival chances are it might be a kid.

[Carina]

^^^Hartz, I heard something about a crazy mayor's wife and a female pathologist, but that is just one spoiler

Honestly though, aren't soap operas supposed to be about romance? Why does every sweeps or close-to-sweeps have to be something vile and wicked?

[Anna]

I didn't even bother to click on the promo. So Mallory, you still think this show will ever get better? You really can stop watching. ;-)

[Sue]

So this is Guza's newest big idea. What ever happened with Guza's last big idea? Oh wasn't it that stupid story about toxic balls? We all know how well that turned out. Maybe Guza should stop trying to come up with these big ideas and instead concentrate on the everyday stories told on this show.

[AngerInTheAfternoon]

Pretensions of Ray Bradbury aside (can his estate sue for his awesome writing being in any way whatsoever associated with GH, which is like the very definition of libel?), I've no desire to watch the Ghoulies 2 meets Sopranos-lite crapfest that will inevitably ensue. I've long let go of any delusions that Bob Guza plus any sort of writing implement will lead us anywhere good.

So instead of watching this mess, I'm pretty sure there's at least one Scooby Doo episode that took place at a haunted amusement park, and I'll be watching that instead. It will make more sense, and save me the rage headaches, when Scooby, Shaggy, a net, Velma without her glasses, some sort of slippery substance, a skateboard and a water barrel all come together to catch the killer, that seem to come whenever I'm forced to swallow the "good mobsters" saving the town.

[Jennifer]

first of all, the close-up of the clown. NOT COOL. I'm having "Pennywise" flashbacks. If you've seen the tv movie "IT", you know what I'm talking about. LOL!!

the promo itself, isn't bad. It's just Guza. I'm intrigued but numb. We all know what happened last time. *rolls eyes and coughs up toxic ball*

[beverly]

Ok, watched the promo while playing FB's game Farm Town (very addicting, especially if you have a daughter with whom you are competing). So, no, I didn't watch the promo.

Seriously?? None of you were watching during the Dawn/Decker stuff? What about the Lucy/Keven-is-he-Ryan-or-not stuff?

Guza is not raiding anything but once again taking GH history and making it his "own". God bless him... because we didn't know how to enjoy it the first time around becuase Jason/Sonny wasn't involved.

{And for those of you who want to argue tense/spelling with me, save it. I know I probably screwed it. But not as bad as Guza.)

[Val]

If I was a new viewer of this show, I wouldn't even know that that was Helena's voice. THAT IS HOW FAR THIS SHOW HAS GONE TO RUIN ITS OWN HISTORY.

[Paisley]

Not gonna lie... I loved it.

[Sarah]

Anyone else out there pretty sure that was NOT Helena's voice at all? Or if it was meant to be Helena they didn't have/pay for Constance Tower's to do the voice over? It just didn't sound like her at all IMO.

Here's an idea for Guza... How about the big villain 'n' killer at the carnival turning out to be Diego?!?!?! Seriously, I wouldn't put it past Guza to insanely illogically go there AGAIN.

[steph]

i don't even watch GH anymore, but now that i clicked on that promo, it freaked the hell out of me!! I mean, WTF?! Seriously, the blood-eyed horse and the freakin scary clowns? Um, i don't think we're in Port Charles anymore. Guza is a effed up writer!
Will this show get canceled already???

[Jumpers]

Shouldn't Mr Pennywise have a Ms Poundfoolish around to make babies with?
Everybody else is having them or losing them.