The Curious Death of Colleen Carlton

If there were some sort of governing body that regulated the production of soap opera storylines and I became its leader after a well-organized and awesome slogan-filled campaign, one of the very first soap plots I would banish would be killing off a young character from an important family for kicks.

BECAUSE I AM SO DONE WITH THIS.

Killing off Colleen was a TERRIBLE idea. Not quite as terrible as murdering Georgie Jones and Emily Quartermaine in the same heinous sweeps story, but terrible nonetheless! Yes, she was a nonentity for the past year or so. And yes, she was, more often than not during her time on the show, completely pointless. And YES, Tammin Sursok was such an awful recast that "Tammin Suresucks" quickly became the third most popular keyword search leading people to Serial Drama. But she's Traci Abbott and Brad Carlton's daughter and that alone should be enough for her and her heavily accented portrayer* to be written off the show by leaving town, or being in a coma, not killing her off! That's exploitative and lazy and I am trying and failing to see the point of it all.

*Really, as soon as Tammin Sursok realized she was out, she completely stopped even attempting to hide the accent. It was so blatant that I expected her to start peppering her dialogue with Aussie slang just to show how completely over it she was.

Wednesday's episode ended with Colleen finding her canoe salvation, and Thursday's began with her underwater. Was there a reason they couldn't show her falling out of the canoe onscreen? That seems like something I'd want to see. Well, not really want to see, but we're treated to painstaking details about Amber and Daniel's existence, is it really asking too much to see for ourselves how Colleen wound up underwater? UGH, LAZY.

So after being held hostage, and getting away through dumb (very dumb) luck, and finding a canoe, Colleen is eventually thwarted by a capsized canoe trapping her underwater and causing her to hit her head, which really just seems silly. I don't know if watching General Hospital has given me a case of blood lust or something, but wouldn't it have been more dramatic if Patty had actually shot her? Managing to drown after she ruined a dozen chances to get away is laaame.

Anyway, during the sixty minutes that it took her to die, she was sent off to a technicolor dream land and visited by her friends and family and Kevin, and they urged her to come back to them.

It was exactly as cheesy as it sounds.On the plus side, she didn't speak at all, so at least she ended her tenure on a high note.

Dream Lily did not try to hide her eight pounds of hair under a flimsy scarf which was helpful, in that I wasn't distracted with the giggles during her speech

but she could only manage cheap cliches for her bestie.

Lily: Every day, every second. Part of me is terrified. I'm not ready to die, not when there are so many things I haven't even done yet. And you know what I mean, because you're not ready, either. But I am fighting. I'm fighting, just like you said. Do you remember what you told me? That whatever the odds are, don't give up. And so I am telling you to fight, because there's no other way.

Yeah, Colleen hears that and is all, "You're right, I want to live so that I can sit and hear you yammer about yourself some more".

Kevin was predictably annoying

Kevin: Man, did I screw up for what I tried to do to you. You had every reason to hate me, and you did hate me, for a really, really long time. But finally, you got to a place where you were able to treat me like a human being, when I wasn't even sure that's what I was. You wouldn't let the hate you had inside make you as broken as I was back then. You forgave me. I'm not broken anymore, Colleen, and partly, that's because of you. I was this monster. And you turned me into a friend. You know what that means, don't you? It means there is nothing that you can't make happen.

Also annoying: Kevin and Jana worrying about Colleen and reassuring themselves that they weren't as bad as they once were when they both, separately, tried to kill her. Nice sentiment, blahblahpeoplechangeblah, but it ate up a lot of screentime.

JT came for a visit and Thad Luckinbill should asked to be filmed in front of this setting as often as possible, because he looked hotter than he has looked in ages.

I enjoyed the reminiscing about their relationship, even if it is weird to remember that they were once together, since JT is now boring and married to Victoria, and Colleen is vapid and Australian. But back in the day, they were quite sweet, so I liked the shoutout.

Billy: Cock your head and say, "Okay, Uncle Billy," with that sassy smile of yours.

There came a point in the episode when I was only half paying attention, because even at her best, Colleen was not worthy of a dozen characters fawning over how wonderful she is, but when Billy said that, I misheard it as "with that sexy smile of yours" and I full body shuddered.

I shuddered yet again at her vision of Victor who, even when someone's spirit is dying, manages to be a dick of the highest order:

Victor: She's not some fragile flower. She understands. I can see it in her eyes. She isn't too proud of some of the things she has done.

I want him dead, but more on that later.

Seeing John was a nice touch

and a reminder that this senseless death is one of many senseless deaths in Genoa City but the best moment was when Brad came to take Colleen. I, of course, teared up. This is either because it was a genuinely moving moment or because I am even sappier than I thought I was, but still: sniffles.

But overall: cheesy and pointless! What will the repercussions of Colleen's death be? I see a few days of mourning in the immediate future, a few amazing Beth Maitland scenes and then the name Colleen will be dropped from Genoa City forever, except when it is needed as part of a list of the many sins of Jack Abbott, because there is no way this Patty Jane shit gets blamed on anybody but Jack.

And then there's Old Vic, who becomes exponentially worse whenever he opens his mouth to smugly mumble. It's like, I think I hate him and then he says something and I realize that what I had before was merely mild dislike to the white hot hatred I have for him now.

Victor: I pledged my resources to the search. Authorities will have all the assistance they need.

To quote Christian Bale, "Ohhhhhh, good for you!" You bring a psychopath to town to help you in the latest battle you're waging on the same person you've been fighting for decades, she winds up poisoning your grandchild, killing your dog and now kidnapping a young woman and you "pledge your resources" to help find her, like you're totally even now? How fucking generous of you!

Every time that he smugly looked at Jack and Jack's TRUTHFUL allegations like Jack was crazy, I prayed for a Pet Semetary homage and for zombie Zapato to run into the ranch and attack his former owner.

Victor: How dare you come into my home and make accusations? You know nothing. You have no damn proof, do you? 

Jack: Proof that you brought Patty Williams to town to kill me. It must scare the living crud out of you that it's all about to come to light.

Victor: Are you the victim in this, Jack, or what?

Jack: Oh, you slapped a bull's-eye on my forehead and sent an unstable psychopath in my direction. What do you call it? 

Victor: Why don't you and I do something, Jack Abbott? You take your sins and crimes, I take my sins and crimes, and we put them on a table, let them lie next to each other, and we'll compare them. And then we'll see who's left standing. How's that?

Victor: You come to my home and vomit garbage about your family, how much you love them and protect them. You are the one who manipulated Colleen to assume that seat on the board of directors. She was not qualified for that, and you knew it. She was in way over her head. You watched her sink. You didn't do a damn thing, did you?... Don't you come into my home and talk to me about family love and family values, you got that?

You know what I've got, Victor? LOATHING. How on earth is giving Colleen her rightful seat on the board of directors AT ALL comparable to what Victor has done with Patty? And right now Colleen is missing and he won't even take a second out of his busy schedule to even pretend to feel remorse or, at the very least, mere concern for his wife's missing niece.

I think, and this is a very serious statement I am about to make, but: I think I hate him more than Sonny Corinthos and Ryan Lavery. Like, the seething hatred Jack had throughout their confrontation?

That is a pitch perfect imitation of my facial expression whenever Victor is onscreen. The hatred burns!

Comments

[Izzy]

Word. I just want all this crap to come out and I want Victor taken on a lynching tour because I'm so very sick of him getting away with shit. I was so surprised when the writers had Abby admit that Victor was mean to Colleen and didn't want her around and the only reason Colleen was even up at the cabin of doom was because of Victor, I was in shock!

[Sue]

I agree about JT looking hotter than usual there....but I was happy to see Colleen go.
Can't stand her.
I disagree about Jack being the one blamed for all this though. It will have to be blamed on Victor, won't it?

[Sarah]

Zombie Zapato ripping Victor to death is the only acceptable resolution to this mess. You got that Y&R?!?!?!?!?!?!

Wasn't Colleen still breathing at the end of Friday's episode? I could barely watch it so I am not sure, but I kinda thought she might survive. But I FF'd the Brad bit so that might explain my uncertainty. Oh well, another dead legacy on a soap, HOW ORIGINAL & SHOCKING.

[Lorrie]

I think Y&R has killed my interest in it. It was never one of "my" soaps, anyway. It won't be hard at all to give up Y&R. Giving up AMC and GH- now that was hard, but I still did it.

I didn't like TS as Colleen, but killing Colleen is just plain stupid, mean, and short-sighted. I guess my soap viewing is now restricted to OLTL.

[Tahanee]

I started watching Y&R when Billy Miller came over from amc. Granted I don't watch regularly but I liked Colleen, especially her scenes with Billy and Jack. Did someone find her body? Is it possible she might be put in to a coma when she washes up on shore?

[RebeccaJ]

Just once, I wish Jack Abbott would call him "Victor Newman". That is such a freaking annoying habit, calling people by their full name. ALMOST as annoying as the pregnant chicks on this show, rubbing their belly like they expect a genie to come out.

[Dirk Mancuso]

You were annoyed by not seeing Colleen fall in the water.

I was annoyed by the following:

~ Not seeing Colleen fall in the water
~ No explanation how Jack got her out of the water without getting wet
~ No explanation of how the only wet spots on Jack's shirt (from when he carried Colleen from the boat to the shore) were totally dry during a commercial break even though the "action" was supposedly taking place without a break
~ Why the actress playing Abby is still employed
~ Any time John Abbott shows up
~ Any time John Abbott shows up and calls Ashley "my beauty"
~ Paul and J.T. desperate to find Patti and Colleen yet sitting around and shooting the shit at the ranger's cabin instead of actually doing something
~ Amber being on this show (I know she's not involved in this storyline but she still annoys me)
~ The total stupidity in killing a legacy character who could've had great potential with better writing and a recast (plus now the awesomely awesome Beth Maitland has no reason to come to Genoa City any more)

[Carl]

Billy Miller didn't even know the relationship between the characters (in one interview I think he said Colleen was Billy's sister), and that lack of connection showed onscreen. Billy never cared about Colleen until it suited his agenda against the Newmans. Shoving him, and the always pathetic, self-absorbed Ashley, into this story was a huge mistake. And how ridiculous that Colleen did not see her grandmother, but saw Kevin, who tried to kill her!

Those at Y&R now do not care about legacy characters, or history, or the show's future. They just slash and burn, making stories up as they go along, and swooning at their own brilliance.

[Allison]

For me, the awesomeness of Jack Abbott makes up for the awfulness of Victor Newman and lazy storytelling. But that's just me...

[Sarah]

I think Dirk is right, when ghost John shows up and proceeds to call Ashley "my Beauty" it makes my skin crawl. If he was paying attention from beyond he'd call her "My Bat Shit Crazy Gaslit Annoying Clueless Daughter" and then he'd apologize for his last marriage. I mean, talk about crazy!

[Sarah]

What annoyed me ?

This whole Colleen drama was actually 95% about Lily and 5% about CC. This was about CC bowing down and passing the young tragic heroine baton to Lily. At least Colleen learned from her mama and her daddy how not to be a doortmat. Lily learned nothing and I do mean nothing from her mama or her real daddy and her fake one is not even relevant at this point because Lily is now officially THE Winters family. I am w/ everyone who said at least we got to see Beth.

[Kelita]

That thing you said about how you have a new-found hatred for Victor every time he opens his mouth is EXACTLY how I feel about him. Every time I think I can't hate him more, then show him again and then I do. It's quite impressive in a way.

[syd]

I feel like I am one of the few people who remember Adrian. The show certainly has forgotten him. The visits were such an insult to Adrian and Colleen fans. The writers choose KEVIN to visit and ignored Adrian!?!? J.T. and Adrian rescued Colleen from Jana, but that was glossed over, if mentioned at all. It was like there was an Adrian sized hole in the story. The writers included people that Colleen should hate, like Kevin and Victor, but can't include someone that she loved?

[ktuc]

Why didn't Adrian 'visit' Colleen? That's probably because Tammin Sursok's lack of on screen chemistry with Eyal Podell killed that pairing when she was cast in the role. Not to mention that she killed the character with her lack of talent. I do agree though that he should have visited her and not Kevin or even TEVN. I love that you gals kept it real and didn't try to gloss over the fact that TS' accent was always a problem. Colleen had never even been to Australia let alone able to pick up an accent. If it means that we're really finally done with Tammin Suresucks then, I'm glad that the character is dead!

[sweetgjb]

In my opinion the character of colleen became useless to me the moment they decided to fire a wonderful beautiful talented actress like Adrianne Leon for the horrible looked nothing like the real Colleen actress named Tammin. They had such a great love story for Colleen and Adrian. the Chemistry between Adrianne Leon and the guy who played Adrian was truly AMAZING. and I will never understand how they could fire a fantastic actress like Adrianne just cause she wasn't "skinny" enough for there liking. and to add insult to injury they re-cast her with thee worst actress. I think it's messed up, cause instead of them admitting that they made a horrible mistake by firing Adrianne for this "actress" and re hire Adrianne back (although if I was her I would have said a big fat NO if they did ask), they decided to kill the character. Its a real shame. I loved Adrianne as Colleen, and she was so good that I liked her with both JT and Adrian.

[Heidi]

I agree about Adrian Korbel. Why didn't Colleen seen him when her life was flashing before her? He played a significant role in her life but yet TIIC can't even make the effort to show that. What a mess this is. I can't believe that TIIC are killing off a legacy character. Of course, Colleen has really been dead to me since the beautiful and talented Adrianne Leon was unnecessarily and unjustly fired just so Tammin Suresucks could have the role. I hope that by now TIIC see what a grave error they made by making this foolish casting choice. Idiots.

[Cece]

So is this going to be an Abbott thing: people drowning? First Brad, now Colleen. This is like Greenlee and her constant misfortune with cliffs (see: Leo, Ryan, Spike, herself) or Dr. Romano from "ER" and his unfortunate habit of coming to close to helicopters.

[Carl]

I don't believe that Colleen was some iconic character and then TS took over the role and Colleen deserved to die. I thought the affair story was ridiculously contrived and made Colleen look like an idiot, and Adrianne Leon deserved better. I also think if she were still in the role now, Colleen would have met the same fate, because the show just does not give a crap about the Carltons.

There's always someone else to blame for Y&R's decisions. We always find a way to put the blame on the actors, not the characters. I could say, "Nick was dead to me as soon as Josh Morrow took the role," yet I don't see Y&R killing him off. Ultimately the show took a lazy, gutless way out with Colleen, and I put that on them, not on TS.

[ktuc]

While I do agree about the way the show took the easy road by killing off yet another character but this character has been a non entity since TS replaced AL. It was on her shoulders to make us cares about HER Colleen and she didn't do that! She was always off chasing other roles and didn't seem to care about her job at Y&R. Therefore, I think the blame rests on all parties involved.

[mz2005]

Colleen shouldn't have been killed off but I SO disagree about Tammin Sursok being a bad recast. For this viewer she was a welcome relief after Adrianne Leon (awful, awful, AWFUL actress) and she (TS) gelled in the role immediately. She will be sorely missed.

[elsiek]

I have to agree with the posters that say Sursok was not a good fit for the role of CC. I never could get used to her; she was horribly miscast in this role. I effing loved, loved, loved Adrianne in the role. She is still sorely missed.

[Other Heather]

"Colleen shouldn't have been killed off but I SO disagree about Tammin Sursok being a bad recast. For this viewer she was a welcome relief after Adrianne Leon (awful, awful, AWFUL actress) and she (TS) gelled in the role immediately. She will be sorely missed."

Welcome to Serial Drama, Ms Sursok. Enjoy your stay.

[Carl]

"It was on her shoulders to make us cares about HER Colleen and she didn't do that!"

And yet Adrienne Frantz has been given huge stories for almost 3 years in spite of not making most viewers care about her.

Colleen was never going to have a chance, regardless of who played her. The show wants the Carltons off the show. They also hate the Abbotts, minus their big stud Billy, and their pathetic headcase victim Ashley.

[livin]

you guys all need a life! its a soap!

[mz2005]

"Welcome to Serial Drama, Ms Sursok. Enjoy your stay."

I am not Tammin Sursok. I, like many others, simply preferred her Colleen to Adrianne's.

[Other Heather]

"you guys all need a life! its a soap!"

Yes, because we spend a few minutes discussing soaps, surely we must not be doing anything else the other 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day.

mz2005, it's a tease, sweetie. Get over it.

[Terry]

Funny write up, I'd rather watch Colleen than Amber, and if I see that squirrel one more time Im going to pretend to stop watching. I swear.

[Janice]

THis is how I see it playing out based upon how the timing seems to be going. Victor is going to die and he is going to need a heart transplant to live because part of his heart will be shot out. Then Tracy will be convinced that Colleen has no hope of living and that she'd want to donate her organs and, of course, only she is compatible with Victor so she should be the one to donate her heart. We will then go on forever of the continued Abbott - Newman hatred because Colleen is dead and Victor is alive only because he has her heart. I am so OVER Victor Newman. I cannot understand how Eric Braeden can stand playing this character. He is horrible; this whole story is written horribly. Bill Bell has to be rolling over in his grave...to coin a phrase as I don't know if he's in a grave. Anyway, I'd like to see Colleen live just to have her go away to come back in another storyline, another year.

[Gran]

So which member of the Abbott family is next to die? The writers never seem to kill off any members of the Newman family. The last one had to have been Ryan at his wedding to Victoria. So far in the past year or so John,Brad(he was married to both Ashley and Tracy, Ashley's baby and now Colleen. Are the writers trying to get rid of the Abbott family the same way the show wrote out the Brookes sisters years ago?

[Sue]

Unfortunately they will never kill off Jack!
:)