Bonding With The In-Laws

Even if you and your husband-to-be are having your third wedding, and even if these nuptials are, like the ones that came before them, doomed to fail spectacularly since you actually have no desire to marry your husband-to-be, it is still important to spend quality time with your in-laws, so it's not wrong, exactly, that Luke and Liz spent a good deal of time today bonding over shared interests and habits.

What is wrong is that they bonded over...being miserable in lives that they never wanted. At an engagement party! What the what?

Liz, to her credit, knew how blatantly inappropriate the conversation was and flashed Luke one of her patented awesome facial expressions when he said...

Luke: He will. I'm very happy for him. I'd like to be happy for you, too, but I...I get the feeling maybe you're not as sure about all this as he is.

(It was very "We're going there? Really? Here? I don't think that's what you want to be doing")

but that didn't stop the douchery.

Elizabeth: This time, Lucky and I are gonna make it. I know we will. I want to be married to him. I really do love him.

Luke: I think you do. And he loves you, too. But sometimes, you know, love isn't enough. His mother and I are a good example of that.

Actually, you and Lucky's mother are a good example of what happens when a criminally inept head writer is given carte blanche to run a show into the ground, the first step being the complete and utter destruction of daytime's most iconic relationship, for, as far as I can tell, no other reason but "Haha, I can do what I want, and it is awesome!", but I guess that would have taken too long to say.

Elizabeth: Yeah, well, it's not just about love. I mean, Lucky and I want the same things. We want the same kind of life.

Luke: You're sure about that? You know, I used to, uh, fear that Lucky would wake up in this house the way I used to. With the walls closing in on him, not being able to breathe, suffocating. Elizabeth, I used to get up before dawn and sit out on that porch and actually think, how far down the road could I get before dark? But now I'm thinking maybe it isn't Lucky who's gonna get trapped in this house. Maybe it's you.

I'll admit in advance that the following borders on melodramatic, but it needs to be said: when Luke reinvents his life with Laura and tries to spin it as though he was miserable and hated his whole family (even though there are hours and hours available of clips on YouTube proving how patently false that is), IT MAKES ME PRAY FOR DEATH.

Speaking of douchery and wishing I were dead...

Luke: Uh, everyone! I'd like to have your attention. I'm gonna make a little announcement here. Since we're all together for the first time in, I don't know, maybe forever, uh, I'd like to take the opportunity to welcome Elizabeth back into the family. Although she was never really gone, it is nice that you will be a Spencer again. And, uh, on that note, I really don't know what everybody knows or what-- the details are really not important--but the point is, I would like you to welcome my son Ethan into the family. He is a Spencer.

"Uh, why are we spending so much time talking about that other guy when we should really be talking about my SON Ethan, who is AWESOME and I LOVE HIM. Ethan Awesome, Awesome, Ethan. Lucky, what are you still doing here?" Really, what social disorder does this man have?

Also, Lesley (who was on this episode today, OMFG*) was interested in taking a picture to the awesomely awesome Ethan to show Laura

Lesley: Among other things, yeah. Um, Laura is curious to see what Ethan looks like.

I don't know that she actually needed the picture, because "Tall, doofy, douchey and unwashed" paints a pretty accurate portrait. I kid about the douchey part (at least as far as personality is concerned. That wardrobe can be described no other way). To his credit, Ethan was uncomfortable and apologetic about the whole thing, and has been increasingly tolerable, which makes me the uncomfortable one.

*Lesley AND Bobbie AND Audrey AND Cam!

The appearance of these vets so delighted me that all I am going to say about that last screencap is that Cam is presh to the tenth power. That is some major delight right there!
 
 

Comments

[Mary]

It was so good to see Audrey and Bobbie and Leslie in that engagement party scene. It felt like the GH I'd grown to love so many years ago.

[Hillary]

Oh Elizabeth, if only you used those fabulous facial expressions after every conversation you have with Nikolas about "how you wish things could be different" and how you "really want to be with him." Maybe then you would see how ridiculous and "WTF? Really, know?" you yourself are and realize that a) being with Nikolas is the kind of bad idea bad idea jeans were specifically made for, and failing that, b) if you don't want to marry Lucky, tell him now before you marry him out of false emotions (again). For the love of God, please.

Also, as much as I loved Bobbie being included in awkward festivities, JZ is simply frightening to look at. See what this effing show has driven her to? I hate Bob Guza and his douchebag ways so much.

[Sarah]

The rewriting of history on GH is so painful and insulting as a long time viewer. And it is so pervasive onscreen and off at Prospect.

Guza has all but destroyed L&L, and no rererecast of JJ as Lucky is gonna fix that. Seeing Audrey for 30 seconds every five years doesn't instill continuity and remind everyone Steve was the heart of GH for decades. Bobbie and Lesley made me sad, they really don't even exist on GH anymore in any real way. So today's "cameos" basically just depressed me.

Guza rewrites EVERYTHING, even his own crappy crap.

And offscreen, check out Frons and LW answering GH questions at abc.com. The end of the second clip made me ill. Frons is a history rewriter too, and it just sucks.

If Genie Francis comes back to this shit, I'll cry.

And the spoilers say Patrick's ex, sorry no spoilers here right? Anyway, his history written by Guza himself is about to take a 180.

What a joke, he is a terrible writer, even his graffitti sucks ;-)

[Shirleedee]

I agree, Jackie Z has gone over the top with the facelifts. It's sad that she feels she needs to go to that extreme. I wonder if that may be why she isn't on that much these days. She really doesn't have much facial expression any more.

[amiejayne]

Sarah, I second everything you said!

[Tabby]

I threw a mini tantrum in the other thread about wanting to see these vets! I wish they could be on more often. It almost felt like old school gh today.

Did I watch the same GH in the 90's that Guza did? Because from what I remember there was a period of time where Luke and Laura had settled happily in that house and Luke seemed to be happy just being at home and being a dad. Did I misinterpret a huge block of time?

[Rene]

Holy shit...all Jackie needs is some mouth scars and a green wig...

Why So Serious, Bobbie?

[Dawn]

You all are my only foray into this show because I just can't bring myself to watch it anymore (VIVA GREG VAUGHAN!!!) so thank you for that. That being said, WHAT THE HELL HAS JACKIE ZEMAN DONE TO HERSELF?!?!?!?

[Mel]

What happened to Jacklyn Zeman's face?!? She bares a disturbing resemblance to octomom. Maybe it's the over-emphasized cheekbones. I don't know but it's almost as frightening as any scene involving Claudia, Sonny, and a flat surface.

[Former Ghlover77]

As much as I loved seeing Audrey, Lesley, and Bobbi I had to turn the channel. OMFG, Luke hated living in that house? Gee, I don't remember that part of L&L's fabulous return in the 90's. I HATE YOU BOB GUZA!!!!!

[Louise]

LOVE Liz's facial expression in that screencap. Well played, Becky.

Luke did get restless back in the day in that house. Restless. He'd get a little cabin fever and need a little adventure-fix and then be happy to come back to a stable home. It's not a total invention, which is the crap Guza usually pulls -- takes a miniscule detail and makes it the driving force of a piece of GH history.

Liz and Luke as birds of a feather is also crap. Liz wants adventure, doesn't want a stable home? Hardly. She could've had adventure AND an unstable home with Jason and didn't want it. She's just drawn to douchebags for some reason, it's not the same thing.

Was this Greg Vaughan's last episode, do we think? I know JJ's first is on Monday.

Seeing the vets was fun, but it was a bummer to realize they each showed up to deliver one line and go home.

Great post as always, Mallory!

[Sarah]

From what I remember Luke and Laura were on the run for over ten years. (offscreen) When they returned PC via jumping out a plane etc... Laura fell in love w/ the house and was ready to put down roots once and for all. And Luke agreed to it for her and their family, although I think he would have been just as happy to stay on the road. But he didn't hate having a home. Many amazing moments happened for them there. Luke also made new and old friends, opened a club he loved etc... He adored his wife and kids, even Lulu since Laura discovered she was preggers. He also loved being back w/ Ruby and Bobbie and having them all bond w/ Lucky. He even had a great relationship w/ Tony, Doc Ex Bro in Law. He and Sonny were besties too. Lucky and Luke even took Sonny camping!

He moved out some time after the Nikolas reveal. Their marriage was never the same after that "Cassadine Island new history" came to light.

Interesting that Laura's cheating while she was a prisoner was so unforgivable and yet he feels totally entitled to have cheated on her while in Singapore etc... Double standard much TG?

They got back together and separated, but eventually divorced. Luke, for me, was never as real and powerful and complicated as when he was an unconventional husband and father. Those scenes in the years when he came back w/ his young family until he started up w/ Felicia were my favorite Luke years. His acting was at it's peak. Sure I enjoyed his crazy single days and the adventures w/ Robert and Tiff etc... But IMO, Luke was at his best as was TG's acting from the diner in Cananda until he bew it once and for all w/ Laura.

[Mike McNamara]

"Why So Serious, Bobbie?"

Dang it, Rene you totally stole my joke.

Can somebody reassure me that that was just a well-timed screen shot and Jackie Z doesn't really look like that?

Or if so, can you please make a Bobbie as Joker t-shirt for me to purchase? It would be pretty much the most obscure thing in the world, but I swear I'd proudly wear it.

[Elizabeth Kerri Mahon]

As much as I loved seeing Audrey, Bobbie and Lesley in yesterday's episode, it just made me hate Bob Guza more, because this is exactly what we should be seeing more of on this show. Imagine if Audrey could actually spend time counseling Elizabeth, or Lucky having a heart to heart with his grandmother about Ethan, or Lulu running to Lesley with any of her myriad problems. That's what makes soap opera people. And yes, Jackie Zeman looks scary.

[realbrenda4evr]

I was simultaneously happy and sad. I've missed Audrey, Bobbie, and Lesley, but they don't have a real place on Guza Hospital anymore. It just reminded me that they would soon go back into the vault. What I wouldn't give for them to have a real presence on this show again and Liz to have a true confidant in Audrey.

Loved Liz's facial expression and hated Luke talking about how unbearable his life with Laura was. Liz has never felt the need to seek a life on the road and away from her kids.

[Lauren]

Luke is actually wearing a suit? Wow.

Glad to see the vets, but sheesh don't scare the kids with Boobie's face!

Liz is so pretty. So is poor,poor GV.

[horselover]

As a long time viewer, this episode made me really sad. While it was nice to see Audrey, Lesley and Bobbie (kind of), it just hit home how we never see these people. Then Puke Spencer had to go on about how much he hated being in that house. I wanted to scream! I hated that Laura wasn't there and Tracy was. I hated that Lesley took a picture of Ethan to show Laura. Apparently, Laura is FINE with Ethan being Luke's son. Too bad we never got to see her reaction. But it's probably because TIIC want to have us believe Luke cheating on Laura with his best friend's wife is NO BIG DEAL. But it is. Ethan should have been a Scorpio. I hate this show.

[amiejayne]

The vets were almost like wallpaper, there just for show. I completely agree with you guys, how great would it be for these young people to be discussing their lives and joys and struggles with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc., instead of Nik weirdly confiding in Robin (I know they're friends, but it still seemed contrived), Patrick talking to Jax about being playboys, etc.

They could involve the older cast members without even trying. So why don't they?

[no relation to steve]

You know, when they talk about Luke and Laura ultimately wanting different things, I can deal. But every time Luke goes on about being held prisoner in suburbia I need to drink. (Is the worst drinking game ever.) After Laura compromised for years on the run, worrying for the lives of her family and herself, all I can do is give him a big fat BOO HOO.

I hope the former Mrs. Spencer is having a fabulous time in Paris, drinking wine and curing her made up disease and doing it non-stop with Scotty, who I like to think has off-camera reverted to his Good Scotty (of the Lucy/Katherine/Kevin years, when I fell in love with a completely different show that was also called General Hospital) ways.

[izzi]

oh, god, this show is becoming more ridiculous with the minute.

thanks for the screencaps and your wonderfully snarky recapping.

[cillann]

I can't stand Luke Spencer any more; waste of airtime. He whines because Laura wanted a bit of stability for her children when they were young. He complains about being stiffled in "her" house with "her" children...yet she is in France and he has self-imposed himself as a prisoner in Monica's house with his in-laws living there? That's sure an adventurous life...And Tracy-- who has never been on an adventure in her life? Yet he loves his new life of house prisoner and the scotch bottle? He has become a totally useless character. This is a fine example of when the facts, history and writing do not reflect reality. I won't watch this slop. The occasional clip of Ethan I see on other posts disgusts me... the actor speaks like he has a mouthful of marbles. He garbles words. And yet I read, TG tauts him as himself reincarnated. Go figure.

[LauraBB]

Love this line!
I hope the former Mrs. Spencer is having a fabulous time in Paris, drinking wine and curing her made up disease and doing it non-stop with Scotty,
Yeah, what she said: non-stop.