Family Ties and "Family" Ties

Concerned that General Hospital viewers were only merely revolted with the show, and not hugely revolted (why they want their viewers hugely revolted is a question for another time and one I'm not convinced we'll ever have the answer to, unless "Bob Guza is craaaaazy" counts as an acceptable answer), the writing staff went to the incesty place.

Claudia: But she doesn't deserve you.

Johnny: Deserve. What the hell does that even mean, huh? I love her.

Claudia: NO. You think you do. I know. What you feel for her is infatuation. Johnny, you love me, and I love you, and that's the way that it's always been, and that's the way that it's always gonna be.

Sometimes the only plausible way to react is to run away from your television in tears screaming, "Kill it! KILL IT!"

While that was the only part of today's GH that had me wishing for amnesia, even if I needed a brain injury to get it, the rest of the show was filled with lines that had me rolling my eyes and scoffing.

• Kelly showing off her bedside manner.

Kelly: I want to keep you overnight. If the labor doesn't start again and you don't dilate any further, I'll send you home. We'll hope you carry to term.

Kelly is just the worst which, again, is not news, seeing as how she treated Maxie for weeks while Maxie was pregnant with a pillow, but her reaction to the (not even really that early) early labor of a woman who, for months, has been told to not get even slightly stressed out is, "Well...we'll hope for the best, but we're not counting on anything"? THE WORST.

• Jason is totally different from those other hired killers, because he has a good heart, y'all.

Sam: Ok. I mean, I--in a mother's mind I can see wanting a little... hey. At least you have a good heart. Ok?

Jerry was bad, because he kills and terrorizes people. Jason kills and terrorizes people, but he breaks for animals, so it's okay.

• Everything with Kiefer and Kristina was so cringe-inducing that I can't even discuss it. The actors together just...don't look right, and it makes me feel awkward and wrong when I watch them.

And then Dominante said this, and the world didn't collapse upon itself:

Dominic: I'm thinking about how hard it is for cops to actually win one. I'm thinking about how easy it is for the mobsters to make up the rules as they go and get away with literal murder. You know what else I'm thinking about? I'm thinking about the good guys who get caught in the crossfire and get mowed down on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

Obviously, Guza will have to punish someone for allowing those thoughts to be put into the universe, so I an anticipating a massacre of veteran characters in a poorly written, ill-thought out serial killer storyline. I hope Ignacio Serricchio is free during November sweeps!

Comments

[Beth R.]

oh Lord...Dominante totally just foreshadowed a Lucky or Mac gets shot sweeps plot didn't he?

and don't forget Jason poops puppies and pees rainbows...and is way better than Ric....so it's totally fine.

[tricia]

Today I caught Kristina and Kiefer. You're exactly right--there is something really ooky about them, and it's only partly that Kristina seems really, really, really young. She doesn't feel like a teen to me; something about her comes across as childlike.
When Lulu slept with Dillon, it was at least fun and romantic, even if my inner censor said NO WRONG BAD STOP PLS. Today's scene was creepy and gross. But then, this being GH, it's got to be against the rules for a young girl to lose their virginity without any negative vibe at all.

[SwanSinger]

I stood up and cheered for Dominante today. I think he is an awesome new character, despite being the spawn of Satan and being raised by a mother that could have only been 6 at the time of his birth.

In all seriousness, he really got me when he was talking about his surrogate father. I was really drawn into that and am rooting for him sooo hard to bring down Sonny. Finally.

[bitemytongue1226]

I made it through about two seconds of the Kristina/Keifer scene and then I turned on something else. I knew this was going to happen, but it's like a train wreck. Even though you know people are going to be hurt in the worst possible way, you still tune in like an idiot from time to time, actually convincing yourself that enough time has passed that it couldn't possibly be as bad as you remember... And then you realize just how wrong you were. But it's too late. You've watched. And no amount of showers will change that fact.

[Mel]

I haven't watched an entire episode of GH in who knows how long but...Dominante said WHAT?!? Does this now mean that I have to actually start liking the character of Olivia since she's the one who single-handedly raised him from the time she was apparently in kindergarten, and therefore, responsible for his awesomeness? Because that would be truly unfortunate.

[RainSR]

Dante's lil soliloquy and Claudia's encounter with St. Jasus of Unholy Martyrdom were the highlights of an otherwise "meh" GH episode...when Claudia called Jason an "obsolete war tank" and you could see SBu's neck muscle bulge, I think I almost peed myself laughing....

[Sarah]

Just watched on youtube, and ICK! Skeevy and massively irresponsible. Way to go Guza, you hateful sick JACKASS.

Kristina is a seriously messed up YOUNG teen with no desire for sex. K is in no way ready for a sexual relationship. She just committed a hit and run and ran away from home. And her stupid parents should have made her face that, LEGALLY! I am so disappointed in Alexis, like Robin she is a shadow of her former self.

Maybe some community service and counseling would have helped this troubled confused kid. Remember Robin driving w/out a license and under the influence or something? Mac made her face it and she didn't get her license til she was 18! And guess what, she isn't a mobster a comwoman or a whore now!!!! Gee, I wonder if good parenting had anything to do with that ;-)

Sam IMO did K a huge disservice by not seriously questioning her as to why she was planning to sleep with her idiot creep boyfriend. Sam also should have made her get more than a medical checkup, but a counseling session as well. Kelly should have done that too, most Women's Clinics make teens have some counseling before going on the pill. Anything to make the young women more informed on all levels what adding sex means to their whole lives.

And if she was still planning on having sex then IMO Sam should have told all of this to Alexis. I get the whole trust issue, but we are talking about a troubled teen having sex for all the wrong reasons. Her mother needs to know this before it is too late! Put aside birth control and STD protection, emotionally this teenager can't cope with her life as it is. Sex, especially w/ Kiefer, is only going to further wreck her self esteem and emotional and psychological well being. What a sad mess. Did they even use a condom? She's been on the pill for all of 2 days.

Between her and Dante I see Grandpa Sonny may be here all too soon, ICK!

And as for Claudia and her incesty love comment to her baby brother, I was kind of hoping he'd throw up all over her. If I were him that might be my reaction to her statement. Then I would have her admitted to Ferncliff.

[Tabby]

My husband came into the living room during the Johnny Claudia scene and sat down, looked at me and said, "Wtf kind of show is this anyway?" hmm.

I guess I can try and hold on for another karaoke night. Seems like awesome writer got shoved back into the closet again.

More Mac and Alexis, please?

[Alice]

I heard Dante's speech and I actually said to the TV, "Please don't corrupt him!" Finally a voice from the real world. But you know what is going to happen....Dante finds out Sonny did not put the hit on Officer Poletti-we find out that Poletti was crooked--Dante sees what a great guy Sonny really is, etc., etc., and the alternate universe of GH is restored once again.

I detest Claudia, but when she called Jason and old war tank, I just about lost it. It was just so right.

By the way, I find Dante/Dominic endlessly fascinating. I think he's sexy and funny and cute as hell. Hope he stays around for a long time.

[Louise]

I'm glad, though, that so many people (including Johnny himself) on the show have started commenting on how gross Claudia's fixation on Johnny is.

I didn't really pay attention to the Jason/Claudia scenes but it seems strange to me that he keeps talking about Michael having been shot and she keeps talking about how Michael's trying to move past it, etc. In actuality, a real mob assassin would not need a kid getting shot as motivation to kill whoever it was that put out a hit on Sonny. But of course in the sweet, cuddly (good-hearted!) mob of Port Charles, not so.

[Kiran]

Its kinda sad when the best I can say is at least the Kristina/Kiefer scenes were supposed to be horrible and creepy, huh?

[Lucy]

I think the Kristina/Keifer story is horrible. What a terrible thing to do to a teenager. Was it done to put Alexis down a peg or two? No need for that. I zapped thru all of that yesterday. And it was wrong of Sam to get the birth control pills for K and she should have told Alexis. Sam gets and got what she deserves from Alexis.Hope she gets more scolding in the future when Alexis find out what she did.

[Emmy]

Re: Kiefer/Kristina:

Actually, I think it's a pretty accurate portrayal of a creepy emotionally abusive relationship, particularly a teen one. I mean, is Kiefer a charicature? Yes. But there are stereotypes that exist for a reason. Was I hoping K would get wise before they actually had sex? Yes. But in real life I don't think that she would. It hurts to watch but this is one of those cases where it's SUPPOSED to hurt to watch. Teen girls unfortunately get emotionally manipulated into sex before they're ready ALL THE TIME and I think that this could be an important storyline for teens as long as it is handled well in it's conclusion.

Oh right, this is modern day GH. You may now resume your regularly scheduled hatefest.

[Emmy]

I failed to mention that I HATE the throw-Alexis-under-the-bus aspect. Even though I do actually think her reactions are pretty reasonable.

[lurk]

Does anyone else think that this whole creepy Kristina/Keifer thing is designed to make us root for *whispers really fast* MichealtohookupwithhisnotsisterKristina?

Just me, then?

OK.

[Beth]

Not for nothing, but I was bored and got curious one day as to the ages of the actors that play Dominante and whatsherface - his mom. I went on IMBD; She's 39, he's 30. No crap, really. Me thinketh I'd be insulted as hell if I was her.

[izzi]

i want karaoke back!! thanks for your posts

[ckn]

Maxie lost her virginity while unknowingly being video taped. Lulu lost her virginity after she schemed and lied to get Dillion away from his girlfriend only to get pregnant and have an abortion. Kristina loses her virginity to an abuses jerk-off. This show is so freaking disturbing. Guza obviously hates women.

[Faith]

totally had the same thought occur to me - but thought, naw, that's waaaayyyy to sick, even for Guza

"Does anyone else think that this whole creepy Kristina/Keifer thing is designed to make us root for *whispers really fast* MichealtohookupwithhisnotsisterKristina?

Just me, then?

OK."