The Day's Dumbest Dialogue (aka My Dog Is Smarter Than This Show)

Now, granted, my dog is exceptionally gifted, but I do think it's a problem if even a very bright Labrador is routinely sharper than your [inexplicably] critically acclaimed, "Best Writing in Daytime and No That Wasn't a Vote Tabulation Error, We Double-Checked Because SERIOUSLY," daytime drama.  

I had to watch about two weeks' worth of GH episodes while doing chores today.  [Insert obvious joke about the real chore being watching this show.]  So I thought perhaps I had misheard when, in the midst of sorting through paystubs from 2003 (oh, filing system, you are so cute sitting empty in my drawer), I heard Claudia say something so stupid that surely I must have mis-heard.  So I rewound, but nope, she actually did say:

Claudia to Sonny:  Maybe you could take me somewhere.  Show me off a little bit.  We are in Puerto Rico – the city of excitement and fun, lights.

Ah yes, Puerto Rico, City of Lights.  I think I heard that on travel commercial once!  It's like how France is the City of Caribbean Sea Views and Chicago is the Windy Country.

Comments

[Amy]

I heard that too and thought it was just me....

Now I understand that they are given lines to read, but really?? The actors HAVE to be smarter than the writers and realize what they are saying is WRONG (in so many ways...)

[Caitie]

Well, don't forget that the geniuses on the writing staff thought that Bolivia had a coastline!

[Kat]

I want to believe that this was a blooper on the part of the actress, and they chose not to fix it in the interest of time. Which is still sucky, but better that believing that this line was written, read and performed and NO ONE said anything.

[Alice]

I think this was just a blooper that they were just too cheap to redo.

On the other hand, Claudia is a stupid character, so it could have been scripted.

[Louise]

Yeah, my vote is with a mistake on the part of Sarah Brown -- they definitely correctly mentioned San Juan more than once prior to this line. But yeah, it was embarrassing. I just don't think it was a writer's fault.

What IS a writer's fault is that PR is supposed to be a place of excitement, fun, and... lights? This is what it's known for?

[Becca]

I figured it was probably an actor blooper, but how many people does that go through before it hits the air? Even a sloppy dubbing over would have been better!

[Louise]

Maybe they were just hoping we'd assume it was "character development" for Claudia, 'cause you know, she's dumb? Ha. I'm sitting here laughing out loud at the idea of "character development" (my fingers literally will not allow me to type it without quotes in this context) for Claudia.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

If he were really romantic, he'd take her to that happening jetset-hotspot, the Coast of Bolivia.

[Beth]

Poor Puerto Rico. Are they so hard up for tourist business that they've taken to letting those bumbleheads on GH misrepresent them in product placements now???

[Eva]

GH's take on Puerto Rico has always been slightly offensive. Mostly because the island is so linked to Sonny and the mob, which is gross. I mean, there are lots of problems on the island--drugs, political corruption, a recently blown-up oil refinery--but somehow being affiliated with Sonny and the mob has always been somewhat insulting.

Also because the writers view of PR is ridiculous and also inaccurate. And I say this as a Puerto Rican.

[Sarah]

As stupid as that line was, amongst a whole episode of very very stupid, how endlessly annoying is it that MB has reminded us all of yet another word he cannot pronounce... Puerto Rico.

THERE IS A "U" IN THERE MUMBLES McSONNY!!!!!!

Mumbles pronounces it "Pairdo Rico" and it makes me mental. He's the George W. Bush of GH.

He speaks Spanish but cannot pronounce "Puerto" to save his life.

And for a show based so heavily on the mob, they have no clue as to how any organized crime works or what mobsters say or do in any situation. It's pathetic. Anyone who has seen The Godfather, watched a few epis of The Sopranos, or even more shocking.... has read a newspaper once in their life would be able to write mobsters and organized crime a million times better than this shlock.

[Sarah]

I was thinking we need a second list, or a subcategory for the "Things GH Ruins Without Even Trying" list specifically for geographical locations.

Upstate NY

Manhattan

Greece (Cassadine Island, COME ON!)

Canada, especially Montreal because Carly & Jax used to go there for sex

Russia

Bensonhurst, all of Brooklyn really

Puerto Rico

Spain (Sonny took Emily there for some Soily sex)

Paris (first Robin was banished there now Laura)

Switzerland (in GHland it is both medically healing and a good place to dump Helena)

Monkey Island (or wherever Luke went to get that Chimp)

Where did I miss?

[izzi]

yes, there are fewer things that GH has butchered as much as geography. Is it so hard to like GOOGLE a MAP!!!

And city of lights ... LIGHTS???!!! OMFG!!! I guess the only worst thing they could've written would be city of angels .. bwahahahaha

[Beth R.]

well they do live in Port Charles...where you can get anywhere in under an hour and you can go from Mexico to Port Charles without changing time zones.

Honestly..sometimes i think they write things specifically to make the bloggers go crazy....and therefore get people talkign about them...since you know...writing well is out of the question.

[Sina]

That's why TIIC sometime have to ease up on the actor's ab-libbing.