Finally, A (So Bad It's) Good Episode Of This Show!

If you happen to meet me, and I tune out during our conversation, please don't take it personally--I will merely be reflecting upon the pure, unadulterated and wholly unintentional amazingness of the ending of today's General Hospital.

It was one of those soap moments where you can vividly imagine the episode's director wildly running to have the episode removed from his or her resume. Or you would be able to vividly imagine that, if you weren't busy laughing gleefully at how completely ridiculous this show is.

LUCKY, enraged: You're sorry? You're sorry?! You're sleeping with my brother. You agreed to marry me, Elizabeth, and you're sleeping with my brother!

LIZ, pleading: I'm so sorry.

NIKOLAS, in a manner far too casual for a person who, unless he was experiencing temporary deafness and missed Lucky and Liz's conversation, knows that his brother now knows the truth about Liz and Nik: ...what's going--

LUCKY: (Randomly whips out gun and shoots)

NIKOLAS: (Silently contemplates the fact that his brother just shot him--or maybe contemplates what to have Alfred make for dinner, because he doesn't seem at all shocked by this turn of events--for a full three beats)

NIKOLAS: (Suddenly airborn)

NIKOLAS: (Feet fly in the air)

I'm assuming that this is a (-n amazing, fantastic, perfect, awesome, hilarious) dream sequence. Which makes me doubly happy, because that means that the other highlights of today's episode--yes, I said highlights! When was the last time someone said "highlights" and "General Hospital" in the same sentence, aside from the oft-repeated lament, "I'd much rather read the classic children's magazine Highlights than sit through an episode of General Hospital"--actually did happen, unless it turns out that the episode was a dream sequence in its entirety...

Highlight #1

Jason: I put Michael right in the middle of violence. He grew up watching people like me, like Sonny, grew up thinking money, power, intimidation were the way to solve problems.

Sam: But you love Michael, and you gave him to Sonny because you respected him and you thought that he would be the better father.

Jason: I don't know what would have happened if I left him at the Quartermaines, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have killed somebody.

Jason's internal conflict over the path that he led Michael down would have had a much greater impact if he was speaking to someone besides Sam, who reflexively strokes Jason's ego, but it was still nice to hear.

Plus, flashbacks!

Highlight #2

Jason isn't the only one having the realization that he's messed up epically when it comes to Michael. When Michael bragged to Sonny that he made arrangements to have Max and Milo deal with Kiefer, brushing off Sonny's concerns with a line akin to, "Eh, whatever, I've murdered someone once already", Sonny made one of his hilarious "I think I've made a huge mistake" faces.

Michael's outfit and the perpetually smug expression on his face made me want to slap the taste out of his mouth, BTW.

That outfit is just incredibly douchey.

Of course, this IS General Hospital in the Phelps/Guza era, so there were numerous lowlights to balance out the few moments of (unintentional, in most cases) greatness. For brevity's sake, I will only list the two lowest lowlights, because if I got to complaining about the rest of the show, we'd be here all night, and there is a new How I Met Your Mother that I don't want to miss!

Lowlight #1

Lulu: I imagine that it's an easier gig for you because you're new in town and you didn't know Sonny as a person.

Dominic: Eh, true. I mean, it's safe to say I--my private life, I'm not buddy-buddy with any gangsters.

Lulu: I can see past what a person does.

Dominic: What about when their job is committing crimes and laundering money and killing people?

Lulu: (No response)

What the hell, girl? Like, murder is no big deal at all! "Well, you know, some people aren't big on talking on the phone, and some people murder other for money and/or revenge. It's not a dealbreaker for me!"

WHO SAYS THAT?!

Lowlight #2

Operation "Everything to ever happen in the world, ever, is Jax's fault, and I do mean everything, ever" is in full effect, which means Carly is doing a lot of yelling things that make no real sense at all when you pause to think about them

Carly: I'm handling it wrong because I'm taking it out on you? Are you kidding me? You don't get to do that. This is because of what you did, Jax, and the lies you told.

and also that Laura Wright is doing a lot of horrible face-making that makes me remember the days when I loathed and despised Carly.

I think we are all in need of a palate cleanser and scroll back to the top of the page and watch Nikolas take flight. Repeatedly. 
 

Comments

[Beth R.]

As fabulous as Lucky shooting Nik was...yeah it's totally going to be a dream sequence and a nonsensical reason why telling Lucky the TRUTH is a complete no go if for no other reason that Guza LIVES TO KILL MY EVERY WAKING DREAM! (See, Greg Vaughan, firing of.)

I've only been hoping for that exact moment for 1997 so i'm going to relive it forever and ever in my dreams AMEN.

As for the rest..I would have appreciated Jason's belated revelation more if you know...he hasn't had it about a zillion and seven times since Michael was shot in the head. Or if I suspected anything would actually change because of it. As I don't think something crazy like that...well I'm kinda over it honestly. Also it re-enforces my AJ was robbed rage...and that's not good for anyone.

[Becca]

I actually guffawed when Lucky shot Nikolas. It was like that recurring gag on The Soup!

Jason flashbacks make me fluttery.

[Mary Beth]

OK, seriously. Am I missing something?

Jason *did* give Michael to the Quartermaines. And that's where Michael (and Carly) were when he left town the first time in 2000. He was all "I have to leave because my being here is making things hard for Michael and yaddablahblah."

CARLY is the one who left the Qs and took Michael to Sonny's and married Sonny and entrenched him in that life.

Granted, Jason facilitated the continuation of that life and the general sense that Michael could get away with anything, so he certainly isn't completely blameless in all this, but he did do the right thing years ago by Michael. It's his own freakin' parents that effed things up.

I realize it's probably like arguing that the serial killer once helped an old lady across the street . . . . . but it just *bugs*. . .

[Louise]

If only it were real! It was too good and too hilarious.

It was fun to see Jason and Sonny have to start reaping what they sowed and all, but it won't change anything. I hope Michael starts going around offing people willy-nilly.

Thanks for embedding the clip, so we'll know where to find it forever and ever if we're having a rough day!

[bethie]

I loved it! hehe! I wish Jason would have a total meltdown to be perfectly honest with you. . . start crying and blubbering and really lose it, and FINALLY once and for all say the words, "you were right Robin. I'm sorry" without someone immediatley following it with "you were doing what you thought was best St. Jason".

On a side note. . .dream sequence (as it very likely is) or not, watching JJ's face change as he plays a scene is a wonderful breath of fresh air. He's awesome!

[bethie]

Uhm what's that picture by my post?

[Dandesun]

Lucky shooting Nik was EPIC. It has yet to stop being funny. I may have to save the video and replay it whenever I have a shitty day at work because it has yet to fail to make me laugh.

[Rose Jordan]

Can't stand Carly,never like the character.Doesn't matter who plays her,just can't stand her!

[Bourgeois Nerd]

O. M. G. That was awesome!

[Eliza]

ugh, I love jason and think he's super hot, but every time he goes on these dumb guilt tangents I'm just like, yes Jason, you are a bad person. That's not going to change. Just shut up. You kill people by choice. You do have brain damage. You may be a psychopath. That's just the way it is. I don't care about his dumb "circumstances" or how it ended up that way but he kills people for money and property not just protection. And yes, I love Sam and love Jason and Sam together, but she needs to shut up. He is a bad person. He should just stop crying and feeling guilty and move on. I'm tired of stupid Jason guilt its obnoxious and contradictory to his profession.

[Sarah]

The character of Sam is like a sad eyed puppy now. She is Jason's pet poodle. She is cute, at his beck and call, and licks him from head to toe with absolute affection. She loves and adores him no matter what atrocity he commits, even to her! She thinks the sun shines out of his ass. And he loves the worship, he has loved it from Carly from the first day he met her and he loves it from Sam. Jason's a tool. JMO. Sappy flashback and all, no thanks.

Lulu can see past what a person does? Oookay, probably a necessity in PC to some degree. But she isn't seeing past it, she's condoning it and excusing it. She is Mini Carly after all.

Jax, wake up, this is your last chance. Get on one of your planes and fly far far away. It's already too late for your baby girl, Carly is the same awful vile mob loving crazy selfish beyotch she always has been. Note, thanks for seeing the real Carly today, I was afraid you forgot how dreadful she is deep down in her black soul :-) Although I admit, LW's hair is epic wonderful and I would sell my house to have it!!!

[Dee]

Today's ending made the whole show for me. I laughed myself sick.

Though I'll admit, at first they had me going. I seriously thought it was real and Liz had confessed. JJ was so convincing with his reaction and his eyes were glistening with tears and I was cringing because I thought, "Oooh, he's about to unleash now." And then...BLAMMO! (Thank you, TWOP.)

I haven't stopped laughing since.

[Val]

Just wait... the joke will be on all of us when it turns out that Nicolas flying into the air and Lucky's psychopathic snap was not a dream but... THE ACTUAL NOVEMBER SWEEPS STORYLINE.

/shudder

[Tabby]

lol@the way nik falls off his feet

[SummerJay]

place your bets folks i gotta hunch that dream was indeed a preview of things to come but unfortunately i don't see Nik taking the hit (DAMN IT!) Rebecca is leaving right? she'll all "i love you Nikolas lets make it work" i wouldn't be surprised if Lucky does try to shoot Nik in sweeps but Becs takes the bullet.

Damn you Guza! from the minute i saw Lucky confronting Liz i knew it was a dream and a small part of me died thinking of what could have been, Dead Nikolas... now thats something i wanna see!

[Other Heather]

My mind keeps inserting a "Wheeee!" as Nik flies away.

[Jaxfan]

Carly hate is bubbling up on a regular basis now.

Hatehatehatehate her.

Jax needs to take Morgan and Josslyn far away where she can't corrupt them.

[Anna]

That ending was awesome. What a shock to see something actually happen -- unexpectedly -- on this show! Liz telling the truth was almost as mindblowing as Nik's leap into the sky.

I wanted to kick Lulu in the teeth for her vile murderer love. I'm sure it would be totally swell with her if I did, since she is able to look past what people do.

[Jennifer]

Jason flashbacks make me fluttery.
**********
Ditto. Damn him.

[Dede]

That was THE best scene on GH in a long time. Luke would have been happy to see his Cowboy pull a John Wayne and shoot Nik down like that. It was so awesome. I just love this Niz/LnL2 storyline.

[tish]

oh why must that bit be a dream.. please kill off nikolas...

[tish]

oh why must that bit be a dream.. please kill off nikolas...

[Rene']

Becca!!! EEE!! YES! I thought the same thing when Nikolas flew off his feet, i.e. the running "shooting gag" on The Soup! Plus anytime I can ponder Joel McHale is a good moment. LOVE HIM!

Of course, someone needs to do a redux on the clip and add Nikolas doing the girly scream like the intern does on The Soup. PERFECTION.

[Beth]

OMG, Becca, you and Rene are RIGHT! That WAS The Soup! Dare I ask that that show up on The Soup this weekend?? *crossing fingers and praying* That was the most fun I've had watching GH in months. Thanks for the laugh, you moronic hacks!