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« We're Mentioned In the December Marie Claire. No, Seriously! | Main | Soap Blog Coalition »

November 04, 2009

Grammatical AND Moral Failure

There is so much I'd like to say.

Like, how cute Lulu and Dominante are together (or at least how cute they are until the fawning over Sonny starts). Or how great it is that Jax finally has a child. Or how Olivia can't decide if she wants to be awesome or loathsome, and went back and forth about ten times today. Or how stupid it is that Jason is covering up what happened to Claudia, because that will totally end well (well, it actually will end well for Jason, because things always do, but it will be a long, terrible time before it ends). Or, I don't know, give my two cents on the past eight weeks of The Young and the Restless (I am a terrible blogger. I know!).

But I cannot. Because:


Michael, distraught because he feels responsible for the fact that his mother was kidnapped and forced to give birth (after a high-risk pregnancy) in a random cabin in the woods: No, no. I should have warned you. I knew she was dangerous.

Sonny: That's not on you.

Michael, also distraught because he USED AN AXE TO KILL A WOMAN HOLDING A BABY: I could have stopped it!

Sonny, at the top of his lungs: You did! Tonight. You stopped her. YOU DID GOOD.

Mallory's brain, pushed to the breaking point: It's...actually you did w---::explosion::

All of my rational thought and keen wit (okay, fine, it's more like "keen" "wit") have been replaced by elevator music, and all I can do is sigh and stare vacantly and get a jump start on creating insults to hurl when this show wins another Emmy for writing next year.


You know how in cartoons...the wolf gets knocked in the head and little birds fly around the head and all they hear is chirping? That's where I was.


Can we buy him a dictonary?

and all those people who though last Friday's episode meant a return to good old GH....ummm care to revise that opinion?

all I can say about today is: JUST WHEN I THOUGHT GH AND FUCKED UP GUZA AND CREW COULD NOT SINK ANY LOWER, THEY GO AND PROVE ME WRONG! It's official Micheal thug in training is now officially HitMan/savior Jason Morgan's latest protoge. and don't even get me started on Sonny. who the HELL tells their kid after they had killed someone that and I quote "you did good"???? WTF? How the hell is Guza and co. still employed? why the hell do I keep watching this unethical crap fest? seriously how is this show still on the air? HOW?

I was so stunned by all the stupid that flowed from today's show that I was actually inoculated from bad grammar.

If we learned anything from Lizzie Borden, it's that psycho axe murders make for good children's rhymes. All together now...

Michael Corinthos took an axe
And gave his stepmother one great whack.
When Sonny saw what he had done
Daddy said, "You did good, son."

Blows. My. Mind.

A few days ago I cought a few minutes of MI3 on cable. I really loathe Tom Cruise, but I watched because Felicity was playing a bad ass covert op. Doesn't she know Ben is home waiting for her? Silly girl.

Anyhoo, Felicity dies because some baddie put a chip in her skull that made her scream in agony then die while her eyes froze over like cracked ice. It was a internal head explosion kinda thing.

After Sonny & Michael's scene captured above I feared I was gonna go out just like Felicity in MI3!

Damn Sonny Guza & Tom Cruise to hell. Hours later I am still checking to make sure my eyes haven't cracked over dead like ice.

I personally loathe Sonny. Haven't always - once upon a time he was interesting - but now, I seriously loathe him. And I know we've heard it all before, but I just can't wrap my head around the fact that this show is centered around and lifts up as some sort of damaged heroes, characters like Sonny and Jason. Sonny is vile towards women, intimidating them with violence (his tantrums where glassware gets destroyed), treats them as disposable and things to play with, and when they anger him, he berates them with hateful, disgusting words. He has people murdered - Jason does the murdering - he's kept a father from his son, HE started the domino effect that led to Michael's shooting and yet everyone else is to blame. And when he does blame himself, it's always in the same self-serving way - look at me, I'm torn up, I've done bad, I'm horrible,whine, whine, whine - and his harem of women (that he will turn on at some point) come around and stroke his ego (among other things), telling this violent misogynistic murderer that gosh darn, he's a good man. And once again, Sonny gets off the hook and murder and violence is condoned. And Jason - well, the other day he said they needed to do "the right thing" - the "right thing" being murder Claudia. The right thing. On this show, the right thing is killing someone.

Is anyone awake at ABC? Anyone? This might be entertaining as a story - maybe two - focusing on the villain of the show. But Sonny and Jason aren't presented as villains. These self-centered killers are just misunderstood, really good upstanding men. And murder as entertainment - as "the right thing" - has been THE STORY on GH for a decade. And every year, it gets a little darker, a little more twisted, and a lot more hopeless that ANYTHING will be able to turn this dark violent soulless show around.

You know, I had stopped watching for so long. And then, with Jonathan Jackson coming back, I thought I'd watch, just to see how he did. Just out of curiosity. Instead, they've devoted the past I-don't-know-how-many days to Carly, Jason, and Sonny. AGAIN.


Today, when Sonny said that Michael did good by killing a mentally ill woman, I gave up for good. I personally believe Jason's character is redeemable, but until Bob Guza and Maurice Benard are sealed into oil drums and dropped into a fucking volcano, I am done.

I flove Domte. But I fear that he will embrace the dark side like most of Port Charles. I would be very happy if he took the express train back to Bensonhurst before he turns)
If I hear one more time how Sonny has a great heart, I am going to puke. (Lulu, Olivia, SHUT UP!) I used to love Olivia but cannot stand how she props up Sonny. Blech! And I am so tired of hearing about Sonny's horrible childhood, like that's an acceptable reason to be a serial killer (which is what he is).

And why does Jason have to bury the body and burn the house? Like no one is going to figure out she is dead? She kidnapped Carly in front of a room full of people; it's not like Michael will go to jail for that.

And why was Maxie checking on Kate's house at 3 a.m.?

OMG, I'm so glad I missed this! It's bad enough that the stoopid mean rightwinger at work uses 'good' eight times in a conversation in which she should have used 'well' EVERY SINGLE TIME, but Sonny does it too?

Oh, wait, he's stoopid and mean too. And I doubt he's voted in years, which is another mark against him! If you don't vote, you don't get to complain!

I hate this show.

I have a question: where the hell is Port Charles supposed to be located? I thought it was more or less up by Buffalo but this summer, people were blithely planning to go to a Yankees game in New Jersey. Today, Domte was planning a date with Lulu at the Met and they buried Claudia in the pine barrens -- located in New Jersey! Is it possible the entire city has migrated south of Newark? Has Guza become so lost in his Soprano/lite fantasy that he's forgotten which show he writes for? And why was a woman brought to a hospital with hypothermia left to shiver in her wet clothes? Bad grammar is the least of their problems.

I so agree with you folks, the way the show is handling Claudia's exit is beyond grim - good grief, Michael killed her with an ax! (Love the way they 'spoiled' it as a board.) Stupid Jason is overseeing her burial and yelling at Max & Milo.
As for Sonny...there is not much left to say he's so awful. I posted on another site about how I felt so sorry for Johnny, and the only response was a discussion on how Brandon Barash's sideburns were too long! Sonny can't be without a woman, so the writers may give him Olivia - where does that leave Johnny/BB? I like him and hope he isn't written out.
What keeps me watching is the Spencer/Casadine/Quartermaine s/l - now Lulu has 'jumped ship', telling Dante she doesn't want him to go after Sonny. Once Dante finds out Sonny is dad...I don't feel well.

Guza brings people back either from the dead as ghosts (or having been locked up in peril somewhere for days/months/years) OR recast as different characters....it's all been done....

So how long before we have "Claudia-Zombie" roaming the alleys of Port Charles late at night? Anyone? Anyone have a time table?

I was so utterly horrified by the moral cesspool known as Sonny in that "you did good" moment that I did not even connect on the grammar issue until I read your blog. Trust me when I say that ignoring poor grammar is not a normal reaction for me. I take my reaction as an indication of the complete lack of any sense of morality, or hell normalcy, that lies behind praising your child for killing someone. Just when you think GH can't possibly sink any lower....

I'm going to be the dissenting opinion on here. In the context of the scene, I think Sonny means he did good protecting his Mom and baby sister. Sonny doesn't want Michael to be like him, so I'm pretty sure he's not happy with the fact that his kid just killed someone, even if it is Claudia. I know everyone on here HATES Sonny, but I don't and I won't apologize for it. Oh and for the poster who wants Maurice Benard in an oil drum along with Guza, you think Maurice likes any of this shit? He's doing his job to get a paycheck, just like anybody else, doesn't mean he likes it. Now, if you stick Fronsass in that oil drum with Guza, I'll be a happy girl.

While I like Jonathon Jackson's Lucky, I still did not tune in..why? Guza is still running the show. He will sour every character and storyline with his poisoned pen. This recap reassures me I made the right decision to stop watching a year ago. Is there anyone left in Port Charles who hasn't deliberately killed someome?

Cillann...i think that list is Cameron...Jake...Emma....Molly...Morgan...Krsitina.....but give them another year....and yeah they'll be up there. Personally i'm hoping for Cameron and Jake to glare Uncle Nik to death before their next birthdays.

cillann - I don't think Guza is intent on everyone having killed someone (although that does seem to be his crime of choice). But I do think he doesn't find a character interesting unless they commit some illegal act. Shooting someone, running someone down, killing someone - unless the character has compromised their morals, Guza loses interest and gives them the "Mac treatment". It's sad that he is so limited a writer that committing crimes is all he has to fall back on time and time again, but there it is.

I'm not the poster who penned the brilliant bit about the oil drum, but I feel compelled to answer this bit from above:

Oh and for the poster who wants Maurice Benard in an oil drum along with Guza, you think Maurice likes any of this shit? He's doing his job to get a paycheck, just like anybody else, doesn't mean he likes it.

Yes.Yes,I do. Because they've given him enough power to veto anything he doesn't like.They've built the show around him and his offspring and his neuroses and his demons and we're all supposed to find that fascinating and compelling enough to overlook the fact that Sonny is nothing more than a murderer in a silk shirt.

If King Mo didn't like it, we'd all know about it.

Honestly. What does he have to complain about? Everyone and everything that got in the way of SonnyHospital has been eliminated. Isn't that enough?

I'm not the poster who penned the brilliant bit about the oil drum, but I feel compelled to answer this bit from above:

Oh and for the poster who wants Maurice Benard in an oil drum along with Guza, you think Maurice likes any of this shit? He's doing his job to get a paycheck, just like anybody else, doesn't mean he likes it.

Yes.Yes,I do. Because they've given him enough power to veto anything he doesn't like.They've built the show around him and his offspring and his neuroses and his demons and we're all supposed to find that fascinating and compelling enough to overlook the fact that Sonny is nothing more than a murderer in a silk shirt.

If King Mo didn't like it, we'd all know about it.

Honestly. What does he have to complain about? Everyone and everything that got in the way of SonnyHospital has been eliminated. Isn't that enough?

Why does anyone think Jax will be such a wonderful father? Does no one remember his history? When he thought Sam's baby might be his, he treated her just as badly as Sonny treats women, threatening to steal the baby from her and calling her horrible names. Pattern repeated when he thought Courtney's baby was his and they were having problems. I even think he got a little wicked to Elizabeth when she was pregnant with his child.

Hell, unless I'm imagining it, wasn't Carly pregnant right after they married and they were having problems so he turned on her, too, before she miscarried? Oh he might be a great father for 15 minutes until he and Carly have marital problems again, but then he'll turn into Sonny-Lite, insulting her, belittling her parenting skills and swearing he'll have a whole team of lawyers to get the baby away from her and never let her near it again because of her mob connections, that she "allowed" Michael to be kidnapped and shot, etc. etc. Just wait.

And for the poster defending Maurice Bernard -- are you kidding? The dude absolutely can't act! How he is still employed is beyond me. He only has about three facial expressions. My CAT has more facial expressions than he does! He painfully stutters and stammers his way through the dialogue and he's always having long pauses while he tries to remember his next line. I'm convinced they've stopped making him memorize lines (he seems incapable of it!) and they just let him improv his scenes, which he also isn't very good at. If my theory is correct, then he IS to blame for some of the crap that spews out of Sonny's mouth.

These were my exact same thoughts when Sonny said "You did good." I mean, IN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE does good equal killing someone?!!!!!!!!!!

I am SO beyond pissed.

On a side note, I love Dante & Lulu too :)

Flaco, I can't help but be compelled to point out that the Yankees do not play in New Jersey. (Although it's pretty funny to me that all this went down while the Yankees were in the World Series -- I guess Morgan's not really that into them after all.) (And yes, I realize they write these scripts in advance, I was just a bit tickled by it, I can't help it.)

At any rate, they've always been a bit unclear about Port Charles's exact location. They say "upstate" which means absolutely every single part of NY State that isn't NYC. I think it's supposed to be like 2 hours out of the city. There was implication after 9/11 that it's close enough that some PC residents work in the city.

How charming that Michael mentioned he "didn't care" that he killed Claudia. I actually thought at the beginning of the episode when he had all the blood on his eyes that he might actually take it kinda hard, but then he had that touching father/son moment where Sonny talked about his first kill. Sweet. They should syndicate this show on the Hallmark Channel.

I only started watching again because of JJ return as Lucky. He was enjoyable, unfortately the soap isn't. I stop watching not long after his exit. Not just because of him, but because I could see how the show was making a tranistion. Moving away from the families like the Spencers, and Q's to Jason, Sonny, and the mob as the center of the soap. How its been going on over a decade is beyond me? Maybe they want all the soaps gone. Now seeing where SB's Claudia story has ended I will continued to watch this soap on YT, filtered the mob.It is not even balance storytelling,nothing is going to happen to Sonny or Jason. So where's the story? It would be interesting if Dante did get info on Sonny; Johnny turned informate,but somehow evidence is getting foiled(by who?)...al The Depart. Dante has to work through the PCPD with Mac and Lucky. (Are the writers even watching good mob stories?) Instead what we will get in Feb sweep is Dante will have the evidence, think about using it...however will find out Sonny is his father and mentor he like was a crook. (or something like that)The case will be drop. I saw someone mention that Sonny has a good heart... that was a decade ago with Brenda,and BFF with Luke. He was much a better character the brooding mobster. Is it even a soap anymore? Where are the families and story driven storylines that makes soap a serial drama. Can GH ever get back? Or is this the final jumping the shark? Is ABC really trying to kill daytime tv? Because this was vile.

Oh and for the poster who wants Maurice Benard in an oil drum along with Guza, you think Maurice likes any of this shit? He's doing his job to get a paycheck, just like anybody else, doesn't mean he likes it.

Oh, God, I don't want them in the same oil drum. They'll just sing each other's praises, talk fondly of the female characters whose lives have been ruined, and hum driving theme-song music while waiting for Jason to save them.

(Jason can lower himself from a rope, and Jax can fly the helicopter to the volcano. We all know how Jax wants to fly his helicopter. Can we all just give Jax a reason to fly his helicopter? He can do it. He can SAVE people.)

I know Maurice doesn't write the things that come out of Sonny's mouth. But he delivers them. He mangles the English language as badly as certain past presidents-- "mannipleate" from Mallory's recent post is a prime example. He stammers, stutters, loses his train of thought, and barely forces out his threats and rages.

I think we're all supposed to be sympathetic since he came out of the closet a few years ago with his bipolar disorder, and especially since he is taking medications that have apparently affected his delivery--his ability to speak words. And to an extent I am. But he cannot carry this show. The character is a morally reprehensible human being, being portrayed by someone who cannot adequately do the thing he is being paid to do.

He needs to go. Let it be a great, grand ending fitting for a major star; let him catch Laura's semi-coma-itis; let him come back for guest appearances to walk Kristina down the aisle and stammer out a toast at her reception; let him go live with one of his other illegitimate kids far, far away. Please. There are actual good actors on that show that I'd like to see--ones who do their jobs well, whether the writers are good to them that day or not.

I am so glad you posted about this, because I had the same head-exploding reaction. A father tells his teenaged, sort-of brain-damaged son that he DID GOOD by killing a woman? THIS is supposed to be entertainment? WTF? A new low even for GH, and that's saying something.

Louise, I think your right. Port Charles, close to NYC I know in the early to mid 80's many of the shows characters took the shuttle to NYC all the time. I am assuming since it was a shuttle might less than an hour by flight. But I am guessing. I am not even sure anybody working on this show now even knows. But the NYC proximity was used alot during the Anna and Duke s/l. Duke took the shuttle to NYC all the time and would say he would back in the same day.

Hmm, a show that has shot kids in the head, has killed innocent heroines by strangulation (TWENTY TIMES ONSCREEN), has had every female character called a slut at least once, has shot a female character in the head while she's in labor, and continues to make the town goon look like the good guy, and now kills a woman WITH AN AXE.

*checking calendar* Yep, right on schedule, Guza! SO glad I'm not watching this shit.

There is something deeply wrong with the people that put out this show. This is just one more example of it. I really want to know who they think their audience is. Are they trying to reel in the 12 year old boys? I think GH is dead last in ratings with men. But just in case Phelps and Guza didn't know it: WOMEN are your primary audience and they don't like the violence, sex and mob. Someone at ABC needs to WAKE UP! But I won't hold my breath.

I was really hoping they were going to let Claudia escape! When they did that close up on her hand, I thought it was going to twitch. That would've been awesome, because then she could've just disappeared, no? Don't need to kill EVERYONE, Guza!

Falco, Louise, Terri, as to where Port Charles is, there's no way it could be so close to both NYC and Rochester. When Robin ran off there because of her PPD, she seemed to get fairly quick so I always figured they were off one of the Great Lakes, especially to be such a major trade route/mob hub. And yet it doesn't snow nearly enough. Cities on big lakes upstate can start getting snow by October and November. And like crazy amounts. There's that whole lake effect thing.

But I think Guza has never actually looked at a map of New York so no one should try to figure out where Port Charles is unless they want a headache. Also what could Sonny possibly importing/exporting up there if it's not drugs? I think once it was mentioned that it wasn't weapons either. So that leaves what, antiquities, people, Cuban cigars?

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