Maybe The Show Has Seasonal Affective Disorder?

POP QUIZ

When the theme song to this soap came on the other day, I said, aloud, to no one, "Oh, for the love of, I can't sit through this today" and hurried to change the channel to something more entertaining, which, in that case, turned out to be an E! True Hollywood Story about someone who was neither famous or connected to Hollywood.

a) All My Children

b) General Hospital

c) The Young and the Restless

Readers, the tragic answer to that question is c) The Young and the Restless, which you might have been able to guess since the horror I had over watching a full episode was relatively minor and nothing in comparison to the anxiety I experience about AMC and GH (for the record, my reactions to those shows are "KILL IT! KILLLLLLL ITTTTTT" and sobs, respectively).

Is that not the saddest thing ever? Or at the very least, the saddest thing you've read in the past three minutes? It is! Just a few weeks ago, I was stockpiling Y&R episodes so that I could enjoy five hours of fabulosity all in a row over the weekend, as a prize for making it through the week. Now, I'm searching for reasons to get out of watching. "I could use a nap. I'm going to go read. I should dust. I'm super hungry! This infomercial looks really informative, and if I call in the next ten minutes, I'll get half off AND a special bonus gift!"

The goings-on in Genoa City right now are completely uninteresting. While watching with a finger permanently fixed on the fast forward button, I find myself going, "Oh, this could be good--oh, okay, it's over. This may be interes...never mind" and finishing episodes in under twenty minutes. Hardly anything happens and what does happen is never good:

• Jeff and Gloria have been had the same story for I don't even know how long: they are broke, but they don't want to be broke, so they scheme to not be broke. Why anybody would think viewers would want to watch two loathsome characters in the exact same plot, with pretty much the exact same lines, for YEARS is beyond me.
• Remember Nina and Philip? We're totally the only ones who do. They get trotted out randomly, and just when you think something is going to go well--like, say, Nina and Paul talking about Chance and Heather. That was great, right? And it happens and you get vaguely intrigued, and then the writers are all, "That was pretty awesome, huh? Anyhoodle, let's move on to AMBER. WHO DOESN'T LOVE AMBER?!?!"
• When Mac offered to be Lily and Cane's surrogate, I actually gasped, both in shock (how bizarre and sudden was that offer? I spend more time seriously considering whether or not to lend someone a pen) and horror (that scenario means lots of Mac, which means lots of Clementine Ford, which means lots of blank facial expressions and monotonous line readings).
• Speaking of blank facial expressions and monotonous line readings, Abby, Daisy, Eden and Noah continue to be a part of the show.
• I wonder if Christian LeBlanc ever looks at his Emmy and launches into a long, dramatic and emotional monologue about winning a Daytime Emmy and then being treated like the most tertiary of tertiary characters. I like to think that he does, because if there is any actor who I can see pulling off dramatic soliloquies in everyday life, it is Christian LeBlanc.
• I am officially over any and all soap look-alike stories and plan on drafting letters to my Congressional representatives asking for a law to be made to prevent the soap world from introducing another doppelganger story for at least five years.
• When Eric Braeden said, "Talks are dead, and I am never, ever, EVER returning to that show, for Sony has betrayed me for the last time", he was actually not at all serious and will be continuing to play Victor Newman until the end of time, meaning that Nikki and Victor's grand exit to Europe is temporary, not permanent, so we should all enjoy the Victor-free time while we can. Not least because Victor is in the stage of his relationship where he peppers his speech with terms of endearment that make me uncomfortable!

Victor: Mm-hmm. I was just thinking that this trip to Belgium to go to the rehab clinic would have been very lonely, thousands of miles away from home. But it's not going to be lonely, because... you're going to come with me. We're going to embark upon this adventure together. We will share it.

Nikki: Oh, yes, we will. I'll be cracking the whip-- lovingly, of course.

Victor: Of course. Baby, one thing is for sure-- you and I can't live without each other, can we?

Nikki: Obviously. Isn't it lucky that we don't want to?

Isn't it lucky that televisions come equipped with a mute button?

What say you, Serial Drama readers? Am I being unduly harsh, or is Y&R deadly dull right now?

Comments

[Kelita]

The only thing I watch on Y&R right now is the Chloe & Chance stuff. Everything else is boring or just plain sucks.

[oltlgirl]

Chloe & Chance and anything with Jack Abbott...oh and I still love Katherine. Otherwise, the show is getting deadly boring.

[danny]

Am I the only one who notices that when literally everything focuses on the Newmans that this show sucks. Y&R has a great cast, that used to be racially diverse. This show needs to be retooled asap.

Also, there can never be too much Nina.

[Mina]

Chance and Chole are very interesting at the moment. The rest is plain AWFUL.

[melissa]

as an aussie viewer, we are months behind, so all info i have comes from reading websites, but i was just wondering - will ryder turn out to be the son of sheila carter?

[Sarah]

Mac as Cane and Lily's surrogate=COMA for me.

[Carl]

"#
# Speaking of blank facial expressions and monotonous line readings, Abby, Daisy, Eden and Noah continue to be a part of the show. "

I think Noah is more expressive than a lot of actors on the show. The times he chewed out his worthless, sluttish parents and their delusions were among the few highlights of Y&R this year.

The basic message on Y&R is women have no purpose other than men and babies. Non-white people need not apply. Business stories have to mainly feature laughable people who have no idea what they are doing. Men only get airtime if they are morons. We get months on end of Billy grinding his teeth and Adam squinting and Nick growling. Someone at the show seems to be stuck in the idea of boys who fight over the heroine who swoons over the testosterone and occasionally lets out a "My hero." The "heroines" on this show like Sharon make Olive Oyl look like a feminist icon.

Stories never really have proper conclusions. They just fade away. Remember Estella, the supposedly beloved maid of the Newman family, who has never received an apology for being falsely accused of stalking Ashley?

And Jack sucking face with the doppleganger of the woman who killed his niece and tried to kill him?

The show is alternately boring and repulsive, and made up as it goes along.

[Former Ghlover77]

No you're not being harsh. I'm just shocked that you didn't mention the tediousness (is that a word? And does it mean what I think it means Sonny Corinthos?) of Lily Winters? Am I the only one that screams in horror (seriously) when she's on? She. Is. So. Boooooring.

[Margie]

I finally woke up when Nina came back on last week! Yay Nina! I agree with Former Ghlover 77, Lily is soooo boring!

[Carolyn]

I am in love with Chloe and Chance, so can sit through the rest of it to get to them. :)

I don't think it's been all THAT bad, though. Yes, Nikki and Victor make me want to stab myself, and there are several others who aren't much better.

But Jack is, per usual, fantastic. Nina was so good at the hospital when she was yelling at Philip. I'm still rooting for Sharon & Nick so am interested in this s/l with her and Adam. And I'm looking forward to Ashley totally losing it once the baby switch reveal happens - which I hope is not dragged out forever.

Love Christian LeBlanc (though yes, wish he had some meatier scenes), love Michelle Stafford. But I just recently switched from GH to Y&R so maybe I'm just still basking in the comparative awesomeness of it.

As for the portrayal of women - if you think Y&R is bad, check out GH. Yowza. Someone over there has a serious hate on for the entire female population.

[Carolyn]

Oh - but yeah, Mac volunteering to carry their baby was totally bizarre. Isn't that the kind of HUGE decision people usually think about for more than 2 seconds? That s/l will be seriously painful.

[SO]

Heyyyy, don't knock my Victor and Nikki ! Nikki was just trying to save Victor from the clutches of Ms. Looney Tunes aka Ashley ! =)

[tana]

i ff thru anything with victor...cant stand him...and hate how everyone is all down on billy for running the stories on V & V. those 2 holier than thou peeps deserved it. victor killed collen...AND he got her heart. thats like how sonny shot carly in the head and blamed her for it on GH or how mikey gets shot in the head (his fault) and wakes up as jason morgan jr (attitude and looks)...he SHOULD look like his father AJ.

i dont see nick as head of a company - he looks like he is about to go surf.

i ff thru the baldwin stuff...

really wish they would recast mac before she becomes a surrogate for lily and cane.

they need to recast phillip - he cant act and phones it in.

i kinda like adam and sharon - hate her with nick - love her with jack. though will say - when adam and nick are in the same room and nick is all like "listen hear little bro"....he looks younger than adam...

[Carl]

"As for the portrayal of women - if you think Y&R is bad, check out GH. Yowza. Someone over there has a serious hate on for the entire female population. "

Like having them roll around on a beach as they are repeatedly told to go away and die. Or having them terrified into a fall down the stairs, then have their fetus thrown into the fire, then they're examined by a molester.

Sheffer/Rauch would do GH proud.

[kadie]

Ha! I have also been avoiding Y/R lately! Not as bad as when I watched a mop infomercial instead of AMC last week, but it's getting close!

They really need to get rid of Eden. I can't deal with her monotone ungrateful rants.

I'm really not looking forward to the Mac surrogate baby storyline either, not just because of Ford's acting. Lilly and Cane are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring!

[Sarah O.]

My girl MTS tore up that beach !

[Sue]

How funny that you mentioned Victor calling Nikki "Baby"! Eww! I cringed too.
I HEART the new puppy though!

My husband walked in while bald Lily was onscreen and referred to her as the Dalai Lama. So, I'm ashamed to admit, now when those boring Lily and Cane scenes are on, I at least chuckle at the memory of that!

I miss the old Mac...and while I like Chloe, is having a baby supposed to have completely transformed her into a decent person? She makes caring remarks now but what happened to her whole really bitchy, mean personality??

It definitely comes in fits and spurts, so I expect it will get good around the time Sharon decides to start sleeping with Adam and then finds out he swapped her baby.

[RebeccaJ]

I think the biggest sin Y&R folks are guilty of these days is bringing on promising actors and then they go NO WHERE. They did it with Michael Gross. They did it with Phillip and Nina. They did it with Raoul. People come on and we think they're really going to add something to the show and once again, Y&R pulls the rug out from under us.
It's as frustrating as having a cheating bf you keep taking back time after time because he assures you he'll change. But he NEVER does. Sucker!

[Gene]

Bill bell is rolling in his grave with this terrible soap onair and his daughter in law wrecking his once great soap. Please save it before it will be no more Y&R.