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« Have I Lost All Ability To Fairly Judge This Show? (Not That Being Fair Is Important To Me) | Main | We're Mentioned In the December Marie Claire. No, Seriously! »

November 02, 2009

The Mathematics of GH

I don't know if it's from a lack of sleep or the gradual death of my brain cells caused in no small part by prolonged exposure to the (non-OLTL) ABC soaps, but I have been completely oblivious to the world at large the past couple of weeks. We're talking "Walking into a wall...okay, fine, walls, and having long conversations only to realize after a few minutes that you have no idea what you've been talking about" oblivion. And I spent the better part of last Tuesday CONVINCED that it was Friday, and I wept bitter tears when I realized how wrong I was.

No matter what my mental state, I do, at least, know what month it is, because I've survived enough GH sweeps "events" to know that

(Hostage Taking + "You lying whore" + Police Ineptitude + Carly in peril) x 847 =

GH November Sweeps




I knew that Sonny's puzzled reaction to the truth about Claudia's involvement in Michael's shooting wouldn't last and that we'd be in for a spittle-filled diatribe at full volume filled with awkward pauses and/or an amazing, emotional performance, depending on what you thought about Friday's episode.


We live in an era of uncertainty, where it's always nice to have something reliable in the world that we can always count on. In Port Charles, we can always count on a stammer-filled tantrum complete with "bitch" "tramp" and "whore".

Sonny: Shut up! Thank God... For that car accident. Thank God that--that poor baby was never born to live in our lives. You got pregnant to cover your ass as an insurance plan [Thank you for FINALLY catching up with the rest of the world--Ed.]. Thank God you'll never bear my child.

Claudia: Our baby's death was a blessing? You sick, self-righteous son of a bitch. Go ahead, say whatever you want about me, whatever your little robot hitman tells you [Okay, fine, I begrudgingly give Claudia a few points for that one--Ed.]. Everybody in this room knows you let your kids run wild, you let your kids get shot at, and it's your damn fault that your son was in that warehouse in the first place!

Sonny: Shut up, you lying-- shut up, you lying whore! Don't you even mention my son after what you did to him! You psychotic piece of trash! Take her.

Why is the phrase "lying whore" a favorite of the writers? That's what Lucky called Liz after Jake's paternity secret was finally revealed and while this situation fits the phrase better than the Lucky/Liz one (if we're defining whore as someone who provides sex in exchange for a monetary payment or some other service---or candy!--I guess we can argue that Claudia provided sex in exchange for, um...genetic material with which to create a child to save her own life. And she DOES lie), I can't help but think of the endless possibilities for phrases that are more apt, and also more fun! Like "Deceitful, over-muscled crone". Or "Satan's shrieking mistress". Sonny always takes the easy way out, doesn't he?

The easy AND the douchey way out, to be precise.

Alexis: Your daughter, by the way, thinks she is completely responsible for what happened tonight, because she thinks that if Claudia didn't lose the baby, she wouldn't be all whacko.

Sonny: How do you think Kristina's going to feel if carly dies and jax's baby dies? Huh? A lot people need you to step up. Your good friend Jax, and our daughter. And I know that I haven't been a great example to Kristina, but you need to show that compassion wins over. And most of the time, deep down inside, people are decent. So I'm begging you, please, get Carly and the baby out of this alive.

I love when people use their children to manipulate--or "mannipleate", in this case--others.


I am beyond ready for Carly's (high-risk) pregnancy to be over and for her daughter (who is also Jax's daughter. Jax's daughter with Carly, whose pregnancy is high-risk) to be born. Yes, it will mean another few days of "Carly in (high-risk) labor in a freaking cabin because god forbid this woman give birth in a traditional way" scenes, and scenes with people taking about Carly('s high-risk) labor, but I just need it to be over. I love Laura Wright. She had the best reaction to the truth about Claudia in all of Friday's episode. I think she and her shiny hair are amazing.


But damn, do I need a vacation from Carly. Because the problem with Carly being in danger isn't just that we are treated to hilarious rip-offs of horror movies that make us literally LOL at the end of episodes



but that we are also given ENDLESS scenes of EVERYBODY talking about Carly. Why does this have to happen during every sweeps story? Carly, due in no small part to the ruination of most of the other women on this show, has become probably my favorite character, but oh em gee, I do not need to hear her name repeated three thousand times over the course of an episode, seriously.


I accidentally muted part of Jason and Lucky's scenes during an incident involving a dropped cell phone and a dangerously high pile of books, and, without dialogue, it seemed like they were having the greatest conversation of all time.

"Say what? Do you know who I am? I'm Jesus Jason. How are you even a cop? You're, like, ten years old"



 "Sorry, that was uncool"

Their actual conversation was far less awesome (why did Lucky have to seriously contemplate leavig the key for Jason? And why did Jason even put the idea of Cam or Jake being hospitalized into the universe? DAMN IT, MORGAN! You just gave Guza an idea for February sweeps!) and filled with scary foreshadowing

Lucky: You sure?

Jason: You're not--you're not a killer, Lucky.

Lucky: [Sighs] i don't think it works like that, Jason. Everyone's got a breaking point. You get scared enough or angry enough... If i was allowed on the search, I'd do my duty. But I understand why Mac's being cautious. Carly's family. People do crazy things in the name of family.

Uh, Lucky's totally going to kill someone, isn't he? Great. When this show manages to get a good thing going, it inexplicably lights it on fire, and then even more inexplicably wins an Emmy for it.

Screencaps courtesy of LaurieLuvsLiason!


P.S. - Dante and Lulu are adorable x 100 and have great chemistry. I never thought I'd like Lulu again after her "Year of the Banshee," but she and Dominante are beyond cute. I overlook the fact that he and his mom are the same age because he's a great actor and mighty fine to look at. :)

Rene, shockingly, I too was really enjoying the LuDom chemistry and cuteness. Until yesterday's episode that is, when she went all Sonny fangurl and Mob Moll on us. When she asked Dante not to bring down Sonny I muttered to myself, "there she goes, another woman of PC throwing herself on a sword meant for Freakin' Sonny". Uchhh. She'll probably be instrumental in bringing Dante into the Corinthos Morgan Family. How very Carly of her, uchh again.

I need Brain Listerine to cleanse myself of this show :-)

And about GV. What I really objected too was NOT that an actor was fired, that is just the nature of the beast. But that TIIC leaked all kinds of shit about how bad an actor he was, and how after 6 years he couldn't even find his mark etc... If they really found him so subpar they should have recast again or written him off or better yet, in truest Guza style killed him off many years ago! But firing him after so many years just to bring JJ back for a few months is shitty treatment to GV, the show, and the character of Lucky. JMO. As a long time GH fan, the destruction of Lucky is the biggest issue. I wish GV the best, and he seems to be doing well which is great. Getting fired out of the blue like that is a huge stress for anyone, including actors.

Note: I heard and read those leaks from several sources, not just the normal internet gossip and speculation. I would site specifics but that was weeks ago and believe it or not I have a real life to deal with, uchh to that mess too :-)

WOW! Didn't realize I was "shrieking" about GV. Thanks for that. Now I know to never again post here. This use to be a fun place to argue your opinion, not get insulted. Peace out.

Sonny praising Carly as his greatest love and world's most amazing woman only cemented my feelings that they both suck toxic balls.
WTF was that about?! That whole scene was drowning in suckage.

And YES....LW's reaction was spot on. The fact that she had amazing, end world hunger hair to go with it, just pisses me off. LOL!!

Renee...it is the insulting of the intelligence of the fans that we are "sheriking" about. It is the blatant favoritism they are showing by writing the EXACT same character differently over night because a different actor is playing him. It's not the fact they lied....we all get that...its the fact they continued to lie when they where caught and tried to hang it on Greg...who's reputation said clearly he was likely not to strike back at them. If Greg was horrible why was he the one cast memeber OTHER cast memebers (inclduing Mo and Steve) cited as being snubbed for an Emmy pre-nom for reasons of "backstage politics" after his drug addiction storyline? Maurice and Steve flat out said it was backstage politics, not Greg's performance and Steve even added that it was a shame because odds were "Greg is never going to get writing like that again." (And most of you know my Steve/Jason issues so for me to remember a quote like that? Well you know) As other people have pointed out...if he was god awful as TIIC wanted us to think AFTER they got caught with that stupid spin...why did they keep him for six years? GH is one of the few shows were you hit it, become a pet or you are gone. It's that tacky commercial they aired that implied Lucky had been wandering in the woods for the past ten years and not in town. It's the fact that for every single bloody day of Jacob Young's run and all but the last few months of Greg's (or whenever they started talking to Jon) ABC and GH did not HESITATE to point out that Jon WAS in fact replacable and that they had done it twice. THey would point to Jacob's Emmy win (that I did not agree wiht but that's not new) every three seconds after he won one and would bring it up every single time Jacob and Greg would end up near each other for one fan event or another. They would point out, and I heard this quote like a million times once "The impossible COULD BE DONE". If they felt Jon was so freaking irreplacable...they should have never recast the role in 2000...much less again in 2003. That is what we are "shierking" about.

I'd just like to remind everybody to be bitter at General Hospital, not other posters here. Everybody is entitled to their pro-Greg Vaughan or pro-Jonathan Jackson opinions (or, if you are like me and a victim of multiple personality disorder, you can be pro both of them) and shouldn't feel like they can't express those opinions. Debate all you want, just please do it respectfully!

Sigh, it's amazing to me that Carly even keeps trying to have children since she has never had a normal pregnancy. One of the only things I love about this show is watching Jax and Sonny in a scene together since Jax is about 10 ft taller than Sonny.

By the way, congrats on the mention in Marie Claire's Dec. issue.

I apologize, everyone, for my choice of words with my complaints earlier in regards to Greg Vaughan. I definitely could have expressed myself differently. Call it PMS. :)

To try to better express myself.....

Does it suck what happened to GV? No doubt! Is it unethical? Without question.

HOWEVER - Actors are going to get shafted, especially in daytime. It isn't the first time, nor is it going to be the last. I run the web site of one of the show's recurring cast members, and I have heard PLENTY. TPTB will cover their butts with both hands to make themselves look better at the expense of an actor, no matter how professional they may have been. It isn't going to change. It's the nature of the beast. Be sad for GV and angry at GH, but this is going to happen again, and no amount of boycotting the show will stop it. I wish!!

My point, too, was to say that GV and his agent, BELIEVE ME, always knew this was a possibility. It's possible for anyone on that show (though I tend to wonder if Maurice and Steve aren't protected by some sort of suck up that's unknown to the rest of us).

My opinion on why they kept GV around for six years?

a) they had already recast once before, and they were holding out to see if they could get JJ back. I've said it before - if he had been available sooner, I think GV would have been gone sooner.

b) GV had a very loyal fan base, and he brought in viewers in that respect, plus he brought great turn out to fan events. I think it was popularity vs. acting ability. Recasting him with ANYONE but JJ would have been a huge mistake as JJ had a pretty equal fan following. A new actor wouldn't have worked.

I think GH has had issues with GV for years, and they showed it by putting Lucky on the back burner or giving him LAME material to work with. I'm also not sure he was deserving of an Emmy nod for the drug story, thus why he didn't get it, but that's only my opinion. I don't think some of the people who WERE given Emmy nods deserved them either! LOL!

Again, I apologize if I offended anyone with my choice of words. This has been a rough week for me, and I chose my words poorly.

Happy Hump Day to All!

Sarah, I agree about LuDom yesterday...WHY did she have to go down that road - "please don't take down Sonny." My God, even in the middle of freezing and nearly drowning, Sonny somehow gets into the conversation. He's like a bad STD you can't get rid of! LOL!

I think that Lucky looks fine I don't agree with he looks too young to play the role he originated it doesn't make sense....I always thought GV looked too old...

Jonathan's wrinkles around his eyes kind of lends to maturity in my neck of the woods...and Lucky was always a wise old soul even at eleven.

Yes his face is youthful but in no way does he look too young to be a cop, we have a lot of youthful looking cops in Chicago...especially those who are catching the pedophiles out here.

Nor do I see this as pimping St JaSus but if it is EVERYONE pimps St. JaSus remember Guza writes this....

I hope that its ok that a cop (detective) shoots his gun on this show you mean Frons is allowing a cop in a shootout? A cop can kill someone? PrayTell

I thought that was just for the mob and kids on this show...Oh well Elizabeth killed a Russian so I guess its Lucky's turn now.

But kudos to the actors who are doing their damnest Sarah reminded me why she won three emmys and was magnificent, Laura and Ingo rocked it with just a glance at each other their reaction shots had me re-winding to see it again.

Kudos to the music it kicked in at exactly the right moment

but overall Jason pulling out his gun (been there seen that)...I wanted something different like maybe Max step up and go after Claudia because of his Mrs. C something different flip the script so far its the same %$@it warmed over ~yawn~ Lead actors can step back to let others shine...they don't have to lead in every scene "all the time"

give me a WTH? moment. Maybe that's coming up in what I haven't seen yet..

did anyone out there understand anything lulu & dominante said while in the water? and why couldn't she just stand up & walk away?

Hi. I am a first time poster. I have been a long time GH fan, but only recently started to read soap blogs. I found JJ's performance as Lucky nuanced, complex and captivating. I also felt that Lucky was moved by Jason's begging about "what if it were Liz or Cam or Jake" spiel. However, Lucky was disdainful toward to Jason and held his own throughout the conversation. I didn't see Lucky back down. I too saw a grudging respect between these two men. I felt that the scene ended up with Lucky and Jason in a draw in their latest duel.

JJ has been doing a great job with conveying the complex and layered emotional life/history of Lucky. I am so loving JJ as Lucky and he is the only reason why I am now watching GH regularly with the boycott over. I boycott GH when I need a break from the Sonny/Carly/Jason mob stories which I find repulsive, just too much with the ugly language and images.

I also agree that Jason didn't "allow" Lucky to raise Jake. All three of them agreed that it was for the best. Jason was the one who chose a life of violence and I lost all respect for him after he chose Sonny and the mob life over his own son. Jason is not a hero or an anti-hero. He's a sad, pathetic man. Lucky is clearly the better man. Lucky may be a recovering drug addict, but he doesn't go around killing people. Apples and oranges. Jason (and Sonny and Carly) is a bad influence on children. Look at what's happened with Michael. He shot Kate and now killed Claudia and everyone tells him that it's okay and that he did good. How sick is that.

I too agree that Lucky is going to kill someone. That line was a hint of things to come. I say that it's Rebecca. It will be something like this - Rebecca finds out about Niz and she attacks Liz. It looks like Rebecca is going to kill Liz, so Lucky shots her to save Liz's life. That's my guess. I think that this will lead to Lucky finding out about Niz. Lucky will end the engagement, breaking up with Liz and the Nik/Lucky rivalry will heat up. With the Cassadines coming back, the Nik/Lucky rivalry will be front and center. I also hope that the end of LnL2 will lead to their finding their way back to each other, just as Lucky's "I don't want perfection. I want you" speech indicated. I for one am looking forward to JJ in those scenes. He is going to rock them.

Thank you Beth R. If GV was so terrible then why didn't they just fire him a year into his FIRST contract. I get that the people in charge have characters that they deem are more important than others. It sucks mostly because I usually don't agree with their favorites, but what sucks more is blatantly screwing over a character because you don't like the actor for years (when you have control over whether he stays or goes) and then dropping him when they finally get the "REAL" Lucky back. There were other options that would have been way more respectful to not just GV and his fans, but most importantly to the character Lucky.

"You're like ten years old"
"Sorry, that was uncool"

I love you for that comment. That's my whole problem with JJ. He looks too young to have graduated high school let alone be a cop with two kids. BH looks much better with Nik or Jason now and I'm LL2 supporter. Send JJ back to the 90s to grow up and get GV back.

Quote "Guess what people Jill Farren Phelps is such a a soul sucking leech that she will do this again (fire someone and then lie about it) to another fan favorite and think nothing of it. THAT is what needs to stop."

Dawn, she just did. I realize Rebecca wasn't a fan favorite, but Natalia was, and she came back to these idiots who basically used her as a placeholder to give Nikolas something to do until they decided that him fecking his fickle bimbo ex sister-in-law was good material. AND they had the nerve to make a statement that she "left to pursue other opportunities" when it's pretty damned obvious she was fired.

I loved and still love JJ as Lucky, but GV got screwed by this show, as did Natalia. And what's worse, they got screwed for a short-term plot point that Guza will get bored with in about a month."

So much WORD! I'm not a Rebecca fan but i wholeheartedly LOVE NL (i don't care what people say about her or how cool it is to be part of the we think she sucks gang) i hate that she has been used as such an obvious plot point for the disgrace that is (dare i use it's barf worthy couple name) NIZ. NL should have been bought back as Emily and given some actual screen time AWAY from Nikolas and his squeaky shoes, Emily was a Quartermaine... remember them? isn't there like two of um left? she had connections to everyone in PC, she was a doctor... hmm wait that kinda means nothing in this show, even though the word HOSPITAL is in the title, what I'm trying to say is she could have had any number of storylines but of course Guza doesn't write strong women who live out there lives to do more then just pet their male counter part... I have quit this god forsaken show but of course as always i shall continue to read this blog = )

I never thought GH could disgust me more ,but Michael as the killer was so predictable that I thought Guza would not go there, But he did,proving once again there is no creativity in the writing of this once good drama. Back again we go, Carly being self serving, Jax in the wrong, Jason the staring, crying hero, Max & Milo the Leming brothers, Sam losing her itdenty again, and yes Sonny aka Maurice in the worst over-acting I have seen since in a long time, Olivia (new Claudia) in every scene,every day and getting more boring, they forget what led up to this story Kate shot, Sonny marring Claudia for revenge and power, now we get the re-write, because we the viewers are so dumb we don't remember, so what do we have now??? Two maybe three yrs of carly blaiming Jax, Olivia with Sonny (no chemistry), and then we go back again, and guess what here comes Claudia back from the dead, Johnny and her in a new mob family to destroy Sonny, yada yada yada,and then GH becomes the new ABC talk show "Remember your favorite soap????

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