Wednesday's Show Is Full Of...Whoa!

Wednesdays have, for whatever reason, become the day that the General Hospital powers-that-be have reserved for being good soap, if last Wednesday and today are any indication. And you know what, normally I'd question this, and sneer derisively and wonder why they can only manage to take their heads out of their asses one day a week, but I don't want to jinx this relative upswing in quality, so I am not going to ask any questions!

All I know is that GH usually ends and I feel the urge to throw a shoe at my television in response to the angst and awfulness of the preceding hour, but today, all I could do was sit back and marvel at the (nearly) across the board great performances and good writing, develop a craving for Christmas cookies and use Scott Reeves's name in a game of MASH.

Yes, he's tiny and a bit overtanned, but he's so pretty

and yesterday, he wore glasses!

I make passes at men who wear glasses!

Anyway, as I was saying before I got distracted by the wee pretty, nearly every aspect of today's show delighted me. A show that involved copious amounts of Maxie and Spinelli, and Sonny, and Luke, at that. It's  shocking, no?

I mean, seriously, I'm usually good for a few (hundred) words of rage, but today, the only real complaint I had is my routine complaint about Maurice Benard's tortured line readings, two examples of which I did my best to transcribe below, but the bizarre spacing and pausing is much weirder when you hear it.

Sonny, to Michael: Your...motherprobably...s.....ent a rescue team.

Sonny, to Lucky: I saw...howyourd...ad felt

So many question marks! The biggest of all being what is happening to the world if this is the most glaring flaw in an episode?! Down is up, left is right, cops are good guys!

Actually, I should cut Mr. Benard some slack, because his scenes with Luke at the Haunted Star, when Sonny asked Luke to ask Lucky to ease up on Michael, were really good.

And since one half of that dynamic acting duo has a habit of phoning it in while the other half overacts so much that he ends scenes covered in spittle and runs the risk of having a seizure, that...was not the outcome I was expecting.

(Speaking of unexpected outcomes, I also thought for sure that Sonny would throw a King Douche fit when he came across Lucky talking to Michael, but he didn't bother me much, even if he is woefully ill prepared and unwilling to deal with Michael's inner turmoil. Maybe my judgment is clouded because his asking about Elizabeth and the boys led to the scoop that Cam and Jake are "bouncing off the walls because they are excited about Christmas"! GREATEST VISUAL EVER! I demand that we see lots of this wall bouncing!)

I really can't say enough good things about Drew Garrett. I think he is fantastic in every which way. Even when Michael is being the most hellish of all hell beasts, it makes sense for the character to be such a cesspool of bad traits, and DG does a good job of it, and he does an equally good job at the quiet moments in which Michael is tolerable, like the ones he had in today's episode.

It was small, but when he was leaving Kelly's with Christmas cookies and bumped into Lucky, his parting "Sorry for acting like a jerk at Jake's" was nice, as was his wordless reaction to seeing Jax, Carly and Morgan decorating the Christmas tree, and hearing Carly talk about the ornament he made her in kindergarten, and remembering that this time last year, he was in a coma.

He has such a natural screen presence, and he has been rocking it during his time on the show this year. It's so nice to sometimes watch him rock it without hoping for Jason to lose his temper and use Michael's head during target practice. Oh, who am I kidding, Jason is a pro, he doesn't need target practice!

And I loved it when Dante started to work him in hopes that he'll quickly crack and spill the truth about what happened to Claudia

Uh, which kind of started to happen immediately, since Michael lasted all of three seconds before mentioning that Sonny made sure Claudia will never be found! Excellent police work, Dante!. I really like Dominic Zamprogna, and he and Drew Garrett work well together, which bodes well for the scenes after the big reveal (which I am anxiously awaiting, by the way, since then the writers won't resort to pathetic attempts at foreshadowing. Like today, when Sonny said that he wanted to talk about their sons, and he meant Michael and Lucky, but then the show cut to Lucky and DANTE? My stomach churned at the thought of the powers-that-be high-fiving themselves over their cleverness).

But I MOST liked it because Dante talked about the traditional Italian Christmas Eve feast of the seven fishes! Which I can't wait for and is my favorite night of the year, so I award this scene points based on good acting, and also deliciousness.

Lucky continues to be fantastic, with his concern for Michael and his friendship with Dante, and his attempt to give Carly advice.

I loved how Carly immediately trotted out the Spencer family connection that she takes advantage of when it suits her purposes and then forgets it the rest of the time (okay, the "love" for that is sarcastic), but then quietly listened (the "love" for that is heartfelt, though!) to Lucky as he told her that Michael's knowledge of what happened to Claudia is eating him up inside and that he still has a chance to be a decent human being.

I...am not so sold on that, actually, but whatever, it was a nice moment.

Carly: You are the best big brother, ever.

Morgan: Just remember that when you're buying me presents.

ILU, Morgan.

Sonny's other, forgotten child indulged in a Christmas celebration of her own, as she, Kiefer, Molly, Alexis and Diane gathered to decorate Christmas cookies. Even Mac stopped by to partake in the good times!

Diane, after going on a long rant about Martha Stewart's impact on women, had a quiet moment from afar, watching Alexis and her girls (and, um, Kristina's abusive boyfriend, whose terribleness she and Molly are blind to. When Molly told Kiefer that the whole family approves of him, I was so disappointed. You are wiser than that, Molls!) as she drank her wine.

But she eventually got into the spirit of things, and decorated a cookie of her own before attempting to peer pressure Alexis into taking over her practice.

Alexis: I have reservations about your clients.

Diane: My clients are high-powered, wealthy individuals.

Kiefer: They're gangsters!

Kristina: Like my father?

Um, yes, Kristina, like your father, because that's his job. Or are you merely offended by the use of the word "gangster"? Is the preferred term "mobster"?

And yet again, the only person on this show who speaks the truth about the mafia is the person we all hate because he is an abusive jerk. This effing show, etc.

Ethan stopped by to ask for Alexis's help in sorting Luke's issue with the Haunted Star and noise ordinances and Kiefer was supremely unpleased to see him.

AGAIN, the only person with a rational reaction to this Aussie fool is the person we all hate because he is an abusive jerk. Although I must say that Ethan is way more tolerable lately than he ever was in the past, but I sympathized with Kiefer's reaction, like the guy can't even decorate cookies and Eddie Haskell his way into his girlfriend's family without some douche coming in to ruin things.

Kristina made polite small talk with the surprise guest, who managed to offend ten year olds all the world over when he said that Luke is acting like a fifth grader, earning a hilarious "Say what?" face from Molly.

When Kristina praised Ethan for helping his father, Kiefer jumped in quickly and snapped that Ethan isn't helping, just complaining, which earned a sharp glare from Diane, who is starting to realize that all is not right here. Thank you for having keen observational skills, Diane!

He then stormed out, and Diane awesomely tells her to never grovel after a man.

Elsewhere, Maxie confessed to Spinelli that she had sex with Franco, and he, in turn, tells her that he already knew. Who would guess that in a Maxie/Spinelli story, MAXIE would be the more annoying person? Because I have to admit, I envisioned awful, annoying, moping Spinelli reacting to the news, and Bradford Anderson has given us quietly gutted.

But Kirsten Storms and Maxie just aren't working. Although not many actresses could realistically spin a story that undid years worth of character rehabilitation in one fell swoop...

Although Spinelli was irksome when he repeatedly told Maxie that she wasn't responsible for what happened with Franco, and said things like "he lured you" or "you had no chance". She is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions! Except that she acts like an immature brat and makes terrible decisions, which maybe sort of proves his point, but you know what I'm trying to say!

It was nice that she refused to take that easy out and countered that it was her choice and her fault. Her idea to fix things, though, was less than brilliant:

Maxie: It has to be an eye for an eye, or a bed for a bed or whatever.

You know who is considerably less than enthused about hearing Maxie's plan to have Spinelli sleep with someone else (perhaps chosen from a roster of models) to get even with her? THE ENTIRE FREE WORLD. Or at the very least, me.

PS: I miss Glee already

Robin and Lisa continued to talk in Jake's, and Lisa mentioned to Robin that she didn't want to like Robin, which Robin never got the chance to respond to, although I like to imagine that she said, "Well, my hair is awesome right now, so suck it"

while Patrick got into a pissing match with his new boss at the hospital, accusing Steven of getting the job based on nepotism and sneering, in response to Steven's completely reasonable observation that Patrick was as over the top as, well, Bruce Weitz, said

Patrick: You know what, I don't think Mercy would mind my reaction!

Um, why on earth has Patrick been so pissy lately? Is he angry because of the Glee hiatus, too?! Or is he mad that he has competition for Dreamiest Doctor At GH?! Both noble reasons to be angry, I guess, but the hissyfits are unbecoming.

Then Patrick, in a disturbingly monochromatic outfit

made his way to Jake's and starts to bitch about Steven who--you'll never believe this one--shows up at that very moment! I've never seen a sitcom before, so I was surprised by that development.

Robin adorably got out of the awkward situation by offering to buy him a drink in thanks for saving Patrick from himself (ha!) and then says

Robin: Did he get to the point where he says, ::in a Patrick voice:: 'Mercy wouldn't mind'...?

Double ha!

The foursome then played darts and Robin, based on her superspy lineage, kicked ass. She and Patrick then celebrated by making out, which must have been uncomfortable for Steven and Lisa, but it was nice to see all the same.

Hope you enjoyed that kiss, guys, it's probably your end of screentime for the week!

Comments

[LB]

Drew Garrett is indeed awesome. I hate that this show has so many great actors (Mark Teschner, honestly, is the one who deserves the Emmy every time GH wins best soap); it highlights how bad the writing can be sometimes.

I also loved Carly and Lucky in a scene. I know Carly is a hated character but God help me, Laura Wright always wins me over. I was excited to see a scene between the cousins. Since Carly won't be going away, it would be nice to see the Spencer connection come out. When LW first came on the show, she had scenes with Luke that were also awesome.

Finally, more Lucky/Dante, Dante/Michael, Lucky/Michael, and Morgan in general please. If we have to deal with mob issues, this is where the strength in acting lies.

[Beth R.]

So I wasn't the only one hoping for a Sue Sylvester "I BEG YOUR PARDON?" to Maxie's idea?

Then I saw Mac/Molly and well i was a ball of squee.

[Dede]

Kristina makes Ethan likable. When he's around her, I like him.

Love Lucky and Dante. So glad JJ is back as Lucky so we can have the real Lucky back. I so hope those two become best friends and open a bar together a la Sonny/Luke.

Love everything the Davis girls. Too bad Sam wasn't there:)

Loved the Luke/Sonny scene. If anything happens to my boy. Liked that part. I was already missing Luke's stunt double.

[tricia]

I am so glad you recapped today and that it was good. I couldn't watch today. Because yesterday, after not watching this show for eons, I saw Coleman and Kate Howard kissing and I screamed out loud.

That was the most disgusting thing I've seen in a long, long time.

[Beth R.]

tricia...cleary you've not seen Niz.

[zou2]

I think Luke and Tracy also make Ethan palatable. He really seems to want to help Luke and fix whatever is wrong. "Dodge" I think is desperately needing a family and as dysfunctional as the Spencer clan tends to be he is actually turning out the be pretty reasonable. I really like how Tracy as sort of adopted him, despite herself. I think she really likes the scoundral. He sure is easier to bear than ANYTHING Nik-centric these days.

[Rene]

I wasn't NEARLY as appalled by the Coleman/Kate kiss as I was by the 90 sec. RIDICULOUS commercial they did for the movie Nine preceding said kiss. I know times are tough, but REALLY? Kate comes in and has to do the catwalk model turn in front of the poster, then talk about said poster, then move on to talking about the STARS of the film, and finally, for the complete humiliation of the actors, we get:

Kate: "Do you know when the premiere is? Maybe I'll get tickets."
Coleman: "It opens Christmas Day."

I was absolutely cringing in embarrassment. The kiss was nothing compared to that torture. Does this mean we're going to start seeing sudden appearances by Prego and Campbell's Soup here soon? Eee-fuckin-gads....

[Carina]

I really liked General Hospital today. I have to say, the tandem between Maxie and Spinelli, where Maxie was Spinelli to get even with her and where Spinelli flat out loves her and wouldn't do such a thing, is really interesting to watch, despite it being horrifying at the same time. Especially on Maxie's part. Good acting on both their parts.

[KLe]

I really have nothing to add except, Sue Sylvester FTW!

[Mallory]

Sue Sylvester makes the world go round!

Rene, I would be fine with the show pimping products or movies if they managed to write it into the dialogue in a normal way, but it always comes across so ridiculously unnatural, because I'm pretty sure the GH writers don't know how to have a normal conversation...

[Michelle]

V8 anyone?

Can someone please clue me in on the ages of Ethan and Kristina? If they are grooming them for love, shouldn't they take notice of the possible 10 year difference? Although I do agree that Ethan is much more tolerable around Kristina. Oops, I meant K. Which by the way is SOOOO irritating.
More Dominic and Lulu please.

[Mel]

Has Scott Reeves always been this short?? Is he shorter than Maurice Benard? Is he, like, shorter than Morgan (who is, by the way, far too adorable to be the offspring of Carly and Sonny so how soon can we get a storyline proving that he was actually switched at birth?!?). Btw, is it just me or is it getting increasingly more difficult to buy JJ as a detective because despite the awesomeness of his acting skills, whenever he "interrogates" someone, I just want to ask if what he's going to play next after he's done playing cops and robbers. He doesn't look old enough to babysit Cam and Jake, much less be their FATHER!

[Beth R.]

Mel - I think when Scott Reeves was on Y&R...they did tend to put him with the smaller women of the cast so it wasn't as noticible. Heather Tom and Tricia Cast are not exactly Amazonians. However they are putting him in scenes with Jason Thompson...who is on the taller end of the scale of GH actors...so it's hard to miss. I personally get the giggles thinking of future scenes of Steven Lars and Jax.

Michelle - I think Ethan is supposed to be around the same age as Lulu..which I think is 22/23 to be around Maxie's age. Kristina I beleieve is 15/16. And I agree....I really shouldn't be thinking ILLEGAL! ILLEGAL! everytime I see them together.

[Beth]

Loved the Glee mentions.LOL I miss it already. FYI, Wednesdays are generally the veteran and secondary/third string character appearance day on this show that might be why the only have about 1 decent day a week now depending on one's view.

[Mel]

Btw, I love all the Glee shout out on this blog. That show is made of win.

Secondly, Beth - I do remember him vaguely on Y&R although I was never a regular viewer of that show. I was thinking that he never seemed that short and that's probably why - he was always paired with tiny women! But, yes, repeatedly putting him in scenes with Jason Thompson who easily eclipses 6 feet and then some is a little giggle-worthy. But I do hope he towers next to Sonny because if he's shorter than Sonny, then it's going to be even more difficult to take him seriously.

[Cece]

I've realized the reason that I'm missing these awesome moments on GH is because the episode info from my cable box says stupid stuff like "Maxie and Spinelli blah, blah, blah," "Sonny blah, blah, blah," and "Michael blah, blah, blah." If the info would include some snippet about "Patrick and Robin being awesome," then I might actually sit and watch. I didn't even know they were going to be on yesterday.

[Beth R.]

Cece i think you have hit on something....they aren't exactly adverstising the good stuff. Also...and yes I am a nerd for knowing stuff like this..Wednesday tends to be GH's lowest rated day of the week. I'm sure the thinking might be "Meh...no one is watching anyway...let all those vetern characters they all talk about show on those days."

Mel- Not to mention....No Sonny is a Weeble jokes!

[Dee]

Mel, I'm sure it's not just you, but I think the statement that JJ looks too young to babysit Cam and Jake is a little OTT. Really? He looks younger than 13? 16? Seriously. You only have to look at pictures of him when he was 16 and LOOKED 16 to see that he doesn't looks 16 (or younger) now. So unless he's gotten his hands onto some world changing apparatus that allows him to de-age rather than get older like the rest of the populace, give it a rest already!

He has a baby-face, much like KMc. If you don't have any trouble buying Robin as a doctor at the top of her field, buying JJ as a dectective shouldn't be a stretch either, especially when he's a good enough actor to sell it!

[Michelle]

Scott Reeves is not only tiny but he is WAAAAAY too tan. So is Robin. Is there a reason to be so freaking tan in upstate NY? I live on Long Island and no one is tan. And I LOVED Lucky's attempt at warming his hands while he is wearing a thin little coat. I know I am harping on a ridiculously tiny part of the stupidity of the show, but TPTB never get the weather right. Like why is Jason wearing a leather coat in July? Oh right...he's THAT cool.
BTW I am totally in Glee withdrawl. I watched some clips on Hulu and I feel a bit better now...
I like elipses.

[Deon]

Mel, you seem to be hung up on looks, height, etc. Are you for real? JJ is completely believable as a cop and is proving it in spades. Frankly your insults to JJ not looking old enough to babysit Cake are laughable considering everyone's youthfulness on GH. KMc looks the same as she did 15 years ago, RH actually looks younger than she did 10 years ago. So, if you are going to point out youthful appearances be sure to include these ladies. I mean if I can buy Patrick Drake as a top neurosurgeon (most are much older btw), and Maxie as a jr. editor of a magazine when she hasn't even been to school, then I can believe that JJ's Lucky is a cop. I would suggest that you check out some older photo's of JJ and compare to now, because if you can't see the difference and still find that he looks "too young", I will be very concerned for you.

[Mel]

All JJ comments redacted. I had no idea I'd be offending so many people. From now on, I'll keep my thoughts to myself.

[Mallory]

Mel, your posts are always welcome.

Just a reminder: EVERYONE here is allowed to express their opinion and their opinions should be respected*. Disagree, but do it respectfully and politely, please!

*Yes, even opinions like "I think Spinelli and Epiphany would be the greatest love affair of all time" would be welcomed at Serial Drama. It would horrify me, but I would respect your right to think that that was...a good thing.

[SummerJay]

i love you Mallory... Glee reference = 10 gold stars for you = )

[Mary Beth]

Deer loward, Mallory. now I have horrific images in my head of Spinelli propositioning Epiphany for this whole "bed for a bed" deal of Maxie's and the ensuing encounter.

It's a combination of eye-gougingly awful and bizarrely hilarious.

So. . . . thanks for that.

In better news: I watched a bit of today and have decided that Steven Webber is the best thing to happen to this show in ages. And JJ does indeed rule. Neither are enough to make me tune in regularly, but they make me wish I didn't hate so much about the show so I could.

[BarbE]

Wednesday was good. It unfortunately gave me hope that Thursday would be good too. Was I a sucker or what. I love the Scrubs partnership where they can make playing darts intimate. Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson have a knack for bringing a realness to the Robin & Patrick couple. Like in Robin's cute dart warm-up moves and their licked hands high five. Good stuff. And we got Scrubs kissage where the other characters seemed to disappear! Yeah, Wednesday was alright with me.