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« Maybe This Was Not The Best Advertising Venue... | Main | Ridiculosity »

March 09, 2010

Awesome Writer For President!

I know that donating money online is always a risky proposition, especially when you don't know the person collecting the money, and you technically don't know me know me, even though you've been reading my frothing at the mouth rants for some time and have learned some bizarre factoids about myself that I, for some reason, feel compelled to share during said frothing at the mouth rants, but I swear, I am totally trustworthy and, besides, it's for a good cause: The Support The Now Certainly Unemployed Awesome Writer Cause, since there is no way today's episode aired and Awesome Writer managed to emerge unscathed, because seriously. SERIOUSLY.

While I know Awesome Writer is the type of person to land on his/her feet--after all, Awesome Writer has some amazing ingenuity. I wonder what circumstances led to this episode even being written and filmed! My guess is either flattery ("Hey, is that Steve Burton I see over there? Oh, Bob Guza, it's you! Wow, sorry for that mistake!") or living out the wish of millions of General Hospital viewers and clubbing Guza over the head with something--I still worry. Unemployment is no fun, and I don't want to come across a poor soul on the side of the road holding a sign that says "Will write awesomely scathing, Sonny-hating dialogue for food". Which brings me back to collecting money for a worthy cause. We can wear t-shirts! Or maybe buttons!

Olivia: You know what? I thank god every day that your freakin' filthy life never touched my kid. Ok? And if that makes you sad and makes you upset, then that's just too damn bad, Sonny, 'cause there were people in our neighborhood, people that would have helped you, could have helped you. My family, the Cerullos. You didn't want that. You didn't want that life. You wanted to work for Joe Scully and be a big  man, a fancy guy. You got it.  Ok? You made it happen. Congratulations. But you can't buy me now, and you can't buy  my son, so you take your money and your attitude and your "poor me, I didn't get any time with my son" and you get your sorry ass out of here.

Sonny: You think you just know everything, don't you?

Olivia: You know what I know? I know that every man you ever shot was somebody's son. This time it was yours.

Would it make the (at best) unemployed Awesome Writer--I shudder to think of what the "at worst" would be!--feel any better to know that Sonny and Olivia's exchange there pleased me so much that I vowed not to complain about Olivia for at least a week (which is high praise) and ignore how the show has been trying to sell Olivia as being all "Sonny's guilt is the worst punishment of all!" and not nearly as righteously angry as she should be (I figure if the show can ignore its own continuity, so can I) and I maybe sort of did this:

Yes, I know that Olivia will suddenly reverse her opinion tomorrow, and that her smackdown will have no impact on Sonny other than making him mope around even more feeling sorry for himself and that Awesome Writer will be homeless and unemployed because of a paltry three seconds of brilliance, but...I am so starved for moments like this that I will take whatever I can get, and I will enjoy it, and watch it on repeat. Watching part of GH multiple times: who would have guessed that could ever happen?!


That was so good... I need a cigarette after it. and I don't smoke

I always hated the character of Olivia, however today I wanted to give her a medal. In fact, if I had any faith that this was the Olivia that we were going to be seeing from here on out, I would actually be able to call myself a fan. Like you, I am sure tomorrow she will end up backtracking and feeling sorry for her attempted cop-killer and I'll go back to hating her, but today she definately gets my praise.

This was the Olivia that first showed up on GH. She quickly boinked uglies with Johnny which lost her the right to criticize Sonny or Jason. Johnny has killed his fair share of men and Ollie O had no problems swapping spit with Stumpy while he was married to the Claw....

So, there are these moments, like today, when you see that someone over there has a clue and says EXACTLY what what needs to be said. And you wonder, why it can't always be this way.

My dad told me today he thought Maurice Bernard was a talented actor and he liked Sonny (don't worry! He didn't know any backstory!!!). I yelled at him for at least five minutes straight.

Are we really SURE Awesome Writer exists? I just can't believe this kind of taboo dialogue actually makes it past Guza's flying monkey proofreading brigade, into the hands of an actor (I use that term loosely in some cases) and actually gets memorized, spoken and recorded onto digital media, edited and BROADCAST without Guza putting a stop to it.

I keep thinking about the movie Soap Dish and Whoopie Goldberg writing dialogue at the last minute for Sally Field. Could that be the case? Or better yet, the movie, Tootsie, when they had to keep doing scenes LIVE because things kept happening to the tape, like someone spilled "celery tonic on the film." (What the hell is celery tonic, anyway?) Could these scenes be LIVE?

I just have no logical explanation for how bashing Sonny makes it to air. It does not compute, Will Robinson. I LOVE it, don't get me wrong, but....someone has to be chloroforming Guza. Right?

Her words rung hollow considering she is currently screwing Johnny Zacharra, a born and bred Gangster, and sexing him up after receiving gifts he acquired through Mob activities. Olivia needs to STFU and just go away.

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