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« It's Not Easy Being Green(s) | Main | Why Can't I Have Nice Things? »

March 21, 2010

Dumb and Dumber

There were two staggeringly silly moments on Friday's episode of General Hospital, which I am just getting around to watching now because I didn't want to taint a gorgeous Friday and Saturday with the goings-on in Port Charles, but Sunday nights and their proximity to a surely awful Monday morning, can't be made any worse.

(Although I should admit that the majority of the show, bolstered by across the board strong performances, hasn't been so terrible--Lexi Ainsworth has been fantastic, Nancy Lee Grahn always is and even Maurice Benard put some effort in--so I am just being completely disagreeable and persnickety by focusing on the silliness) 

1.) There are many, MANY reasons why another General Hospital trial storyline is a horrible idea.

For starters, trials in Port Charles are completely overdone, which I guess is a direct effect of centering the show around criminals. Secondly, we already know how this current trial is going to end: with vindication for Sonny, egg on Jax's face and probably a romp between Sonny and the previously icy Claire. How "suspenseful!" I resent having to watch this story eat airtime as it creeps slowly to its inevitable conclusion.

But the biggest reason that another General Hospital trial story is a horrible idea: the writers either don't know or don't care what the eff they're doing when it comes to depicting the American legal system. As far as I'm concerned, both options are equally plausible; the writers demonstrate a staggering incompetence at everything they do, and a similarly profound disdain for the intelligence of their audience, so we're once again (again! We bitch about this repeatedly, to the point where we probably shouldn't make any more comments about this show's repetitiveness, because that would hypocritical, and while I have no problem being hypercritical, hypocrisy makes me feel bad about myself) stuck with a story filled with factual errors that are obvious to everyone who's ever seen Law & Order, or Night Court.

Coleman: I don't want to serve on a jury, you don't want me on this one. Let's just say, uh, I'm very tolerant of the wrongly accused. Because some of my best friends have been wrongly accused.  Because I don't want to see any of my wrongly accused friends go to prison.  How you doin', guy? I have no respect for the law.

I mean, really? I understand the desire to have Coleman be present for his uniquely skeevy brand of comic relief, but it would make a hell of a lot more sense just to have Coleman stroll into the middle of random scenes and make a vaguely dirty quip unrelated to the scene at hand and stroll back out.


Carly: Here's where the situation is different-- you and Adele had no one. Deke had all the power. He was the iron fist. He was the cop. If you would have told anybody about what was going on, they wouldn't have believed you, and that was if you were inclined to talk, and you never would have. He kept you isolated so he could control you. Kristina's not alone, Sonny. She has a number of strong female role models. She has Alexis, Sam, Diane. She has me.

No, I'm not shocked that Carly included herself in a list of positive female role models in Kristina's life because I'm sure she experiences chronic pain in her arm for constantly patting herself on the back. I AM, however, shocked that she actually included Alexis on that list!


This jury thing is so stupid. Lisa, Alica and Coleman all know Sonny. (Has Coleman actually interacted with Sonny? I am not quite sure, but he has interacted with Michael AND is dating Sonny's ex.) None of these people would ever, ever be on a jury because their personal views could influence their decisions.

Additionally, Sonny knows who these people are, knows where all three of them work and it wouldn't be hard for him to find out where they live. And he is a mob boss. Don't know about anyone else, but I am kinda protective of my life and my family's lives so I'd pretty much be voting "not guilty" if a mob boss knew who I was & where I work.

Not only does Coleman know Sonny, but Coleman pays Sonny's goons to "guard" Jake's under some agreement and the set up for Dante meeting Lulu was because there was some issue with Jake's being robbed repeatedly that needed taking care of by Sonny. So ridiculous. Argh.

At least Coleman and Alice make sense as jurors, having lived in PC for years, but Lisa!?!? Has she even established residency yet,since she's been town exactly 2 minutes? Anything to attempt to tie her to the canvas, and what happened to her best friend the ADA?

Well the preview from SoapNet for this month made it seem like the only qualification for jury service that Guza considered was not having a child by Sonny, being married to Sonny or dating Sonny. yeah so the stupidity was not surprising at all......

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I don't want to serve on a jury, you don't want me on this one. Let's just say, uh, I'm very tolerant of the wrongly accused. Because some of my best friends have been wrongly accused. Because I don't want to see any of my wrongly accused friends go to prison. How you doin', guy? I have no respect for the law.

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