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« Our Latest Soap Opera Digest Column | Main | In Which Patrick Drake Preaches to the Choir »

March 23, 2010

Please Tell Me I'm Wrong

A handful of scenes on today's episode of All My Children made my blood run cold and led my already pessimistic brain to jump to the worst possible of all scenarios. On the one hand, I'd probably have a happier life if I didn't automatically assume that everything was going to end horribly, but on the other hand, I've seen AMC before and have been burned so many times before that assuming the worst is actually setting the bar a little too high for these writers.

So while I am bracing myself for the worst, I'd like someone to pat me on the head and tell me that these things probably won't happen. And you should take advantage of this opportunity now, because I generally do not take being wrong gracefully and am the kind of person who only recognizes her wrongness when forced to do so!

Here is what I worry about:

  • A Liza/Tad/Marian redux, in the form of Liza/Damon/Colby: I feel dirty for even putting that into the universe, but I worry! Yes, it would be hugely disturbing if they went down this road, but I sometimes think that "hugely disturbing" is what the writers aspire to. And I don't think that they could resist the urge to do this story, especially since Damon is Tad's son! It is all I could think about during the scenes at ConFusion where Liza had drinks with Damon, who is "underage" and have no idea what actually went on, but even paying half attention, I could tell that Tad was being self righteous and Liza was being needy.
  • My eyesight: am I going blind, or does Finn Wittrock (how totally soap is that name?) look...not so much like a teenager? I realize that I am a hopelessly catty person for even asking that in a public forum, but come on!
  • Jesse Hubbard: I don't want to hate Jesse. I don't want to live in a world where hating Jesse Hubbard is even a remote possibility! How has that thought even crossed my mind?!

Greenlee: Where do you get off using me as bait to smoke out David?
Jesse: Where do I get off? None of my business, young lady!

STOP IT, JESSE! STOP THE SMUGNESS!

  • Rylee: Well, I always worry about the impending reunion of Ryan and Greenlee. I have no idea when it will happen, but I know that it's out there, looming somewhere in the future, waiting to strike at the most inopportune time. And so help me, if we get subtle foreshadowing about Greenlee and Ryan and their true love like this every day:

Jesse: I'm sure the love of your life is going to walk through that door and save your pretty little ass.
Ryan: ::Walks in the door::

(Get it? Because Ryan is the "love of Greenlee's life" in the eyes of this show, and not a demon spawn created for the express purpose of driving the majority of the AMC viewing population mad with rage and hatred)

I'll start taking hostages. I'll do it, I don't care!

Oh, and Ryan?

Madison: So what about you? Ever think of testing the dating waters again?
Ryan: Oh, no. Not anymore. There's only one woman for me.

When has there EVER only been one woman for Ryan? He moves onto a new true love before...well, I was going to make a joke and say "before the first love's body was even cold" but that really isn't a joke, because it's pretty much exactly what happened when Greenlee died and it's not "Haha" funny so much as it is "I wish I were blind and deaf".

Comments

Just when I thought AMC would be good enough to give up on the AMC vs. GH "which of the two shows could be worse" race, they pull this nonsense. Do the writers and the producers neither care or have a freaking clue that the last thing we want to see is all of the things you just described?

It's not as bad as GH (as if anything can be these days) but I guess they want to try again. I don't think I can watch...Vincent Irrizany's seemingly ageless and handsome features can only draw me in so much.

A Liza/Tad/Marian redux, in the form of Liza/Damon/Colby --- trust me, you weren't the only one who thought about it. The whole time I was watching it I felt it. Something is in the works. Hope I'm wrong but...

Jesse: I'm sure the love of your life is going to walk through that door and save your pretty little ass.

Oh Jesse! Don't you tease me with the idea of Leo's return!

You are definitely on the right track, nothing is wrong about that.

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