Pine Valley and the Good Goodbye

Since he has, blessedly, not been given the opportunity to write for another soap opera, I don't know how Charles Pratt fills his days, but if I had to guess, I'd say he spends a lot of time posting on Jamie Luner fansites, watching his old episodes of Desperate Housewives and reciting dialogue along with Bree and Edie, eating Easy Cheese straight from the can, and perhaps tuning into All My Children to see what they've done to his show.

If he caught Friday's AMC, he no doubt turned the episode off, feeling indescribable disappointment. "Some guy leaves the show after a couple of years, and he didn't even got killed off. What a waste," he'd say sadly to no one. "What a waste."

Because Adam Chandler's exit flew in the face of everything that Charles Pratt and ABC Daytime as a whole stand for: he left ALIVE and HAPPY and with the door open for a FUTURE RETURN TO THE SHOW.

Granted, Adam also left with too few flashbacks for someone of his caliber and had to share his final episode with some maximum lameness (as much as I like Stephanie Gatschet, all I could do during Ryan and Madison's scenes was seethe that we now have a Pine Valley with no Adam, but Lord of the Douche People is still front and center), but if there was an episode of this show that didn't leave me somewhat annoyed, I'd be at a loss and convinced that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown or had blocked out large chunks of the show, because since when is AMC not partially annoying?

If David Canary had to leave, and I still wish that he didn't (although I do understand that he shouldn't have to run all of his decisions by me, on account of the whole not knowing each other thing, but actually, now that I think about it, I would be pretty awesome at making decisions for other people using the infallible Pro/Con list method. For David Canary, the list would look something like "PRO: You have been on this show for 27 years and are awesome, which basically entitles you to do anything you want. Also, it is a free country. CON: It will make me cry"), this was a really good way to do it. Adam left with Brooke, which made people happy. And his exit actually opened up even more soapy storyline possibilities for the Chandler families, including maybe Scott, who is long overdue for a story of his own. And did I mention that he wasn't killed off? I keep harping on that, but really, an ABC Daytime legacy character wasn't accompanied off the show with an angel or an orderly taking him to the morgue!

Brooke: Oh, Adam, what are you going to do, I mean, about your family and the company? A divorce is gonna take a while.

Adam: No, I can handle it. I can handle it. Having the woman I love next to me is the best thing I can do for my heart. So what is it, Paris or palm tree?

Oh, David Canary. I can honestly assure you that the show simply won't be the same without you. Please feel free to come back to the show immediately--or maybe it would be wiser to check out the new writers' work first before you make a decision like that--if retirement proves to be boring, although I don't take you for the kind of person who gets bored easily and you actually probably have all sorts of amazing hobbies that will keep you busy. Thank you for 27 years of epic awesomeness.

Comments

[Mike McNamara]

Mallory:

I gave up on AMC a while back, for all the reasons you probably understand and would maybe even agree with if you didn't have a blog to run, but, though we don't know each other, you bring such joy to my life with your commentary that I was honestly worried that they would f'up David Canary leaving -- not just because I think the man is a legend who deserves better but how much it would upset you. I'm so glad to hear otherwise.

[Daryl]

Having him exit with Brooke was perfect and having Erica help delish and him not being dead icing on the cake and I hope Pratt chokes on it

[Beth]

David Canary leaving this show is just another nail in it's coffin, but goodness knows Mr. Canary deserved better. Kudos to him!

And "Lord of the Douche People" is now officially my favortie description of Ryan Lavery ever.

[sanen85]

I have to be the naysayer here, I guess. I love Adam, I love David Canary. However, I have not cared for Brooke since her return and I don't care for the Adam/Brooke repairing. I could not make it through Adam's final scenes because of the thrown together love story they shoved down my throat and I'm not happy about it.

[Sanity]

So sad that David Canary is gone. But I loved Adam leaving alive & happy.

[minirth]

Lord of the Douche People? Lord of the Douche People? LORD OF THE DOUCHE PEOPLE?!?!?!?

I love you so much I want to steal your eggs and clone you! Lots of times!!! :)

[Beth R.]

Surely there are reasons to use the phrase "Lord of the Douche People" in our everyday life right?

[Mallory]

I love you all, and your Ryan hate and your Adam love and your concern for my David Canary related well-being (thank you, Mike!). You are all awesome.

(minirth, I think clones of me would get on your nerves in a matter of minutes. I am very chatty!)