I Swear On My Mother's Life (No, really.)

Seriously, I swear on my mother's life that no living human would ever be attracted to the current state of being that is one Miss Jessica Brennan.  I can say that with total confidence, and have no idea why Cris couldn't.  It is unfathomable to me that Brody still wants her, it is inexplicable that Cris can't just tell her to get the hell away from him, it is beyond comprehension that Layla is feeling threatened.  I am just waiting for the moment that Brody sits and listens to her talk for five minutes straight and then says, "Oh.  Yeah.... nevermind all that."  She doesn't act like a seventeen-year-old girl with a soul and a conscience and regular teen weaknesses and crushes and neuroses, she acts like a 12-year-old sociopath.  Whoever it was that pushed Marty down the stairs and killed Melinda and... whatshisname... should make sure she has a little accident on prom night.  Speaking of prom night, Kelly Cramer's best moment of her entire return happened today when Jessica told her she was going to the prom:

This is how everyone should look at Jess.  Every time she opens her incredibly irritating mouth.  I'm seriously at this point thinking Clint and Viki might just kick her out of the house because they can't take it anymore.  (And can we also talk about the awesomeness of the ginormous mural of Roxy on the wall of the salon?  I couldn't love it more.  I simply couldn't.  Not that I'm loving Roxy too much at the moment, considering she just advised her kind-of daughter to make an ultimatum-based play for a man whose girlfriend just miscarried their baby a few days ago, but good old Rox never claimed to be one for timing or tact.)

Come to think of it, maybe it's Teen Jess herself who pushed Marty down the stairs and killed Melinda and... whatshisname (it's hard to care).  Perhaps she'll be revealed as the culprit sometime in the next few days, through song and dance.  Because, you know...

I'm sure I don't speak for everyone when I talk about how giddy I am for this, but I am.  I missed the first one (I pretty much missed any episode that aired in summers from 1998-2007, that's my confession, and I think perhaps it was in 2007?) and I honestly don't feel any loss for that, but this looks like cheesy, ridiculous insanity. 

Trust me, check back in this space soon; I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about whatever this is that's about to happen on our screens.  In the meantime, congrats to all the OLTL Emmy nominees (Brian Kerwin, Bree Williamson, Scott Clifton, and the many directors and designers), and of course a moment of silence for Brett Claywell not being on that list.

Destiny out.

Comments

[SwanSinger]

Don't get too excited - the first musical was AWFUL. This one looks more promising only b/c they don't appear to be attempting original music. I prefer the Glee-esque approach to riding the coattails of High School Musical 3.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

That look is probably the first thing Kelly's done in her return that I can genuinely say I enjoyed!

Louise, are you as pissed as I am that OLTL didn't get a writing or Best Drama nom? I mean, yes, it's gone totally off a cliff this year, but for 2009? It at least deserved a nomination! There was some powerful stuff in there. But I get the feeling that, as with the Kish boys, it was all too "Ick! Teh Gheys!" for the "mainstream" audience. *sigh*

[Beth R.]

I heard OLTL submitted the Grey Gardens episode for the Big Three....so that MIGHT explain the non-nod status. (At least for Best Show....I'm assuming most shows submitted the same one for writing and such)

[John]

I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed the first musical, and I'm looking forward to this one, too. [tiny, tiny voice]I even have the soundtrack to the last one.[/ttv] Plus, it had Brody singing in his dress whites. This boy's gonna need a cold shower after that.

They submitted Grey Gardens for their nomination? Now I see why they didn't get nominated if that was the case. It was good acting, but not the greatest moment on OLTL in 2009.

[Louise]

Bourgeois Nerd, yes I was definitely pretty pissed -- I thought OLTL had a fabulous 2009, and the soap press certainly agreed. Though now that you guys are saying they submitted the Grey Gardens episode, I can definitely see why they were acknowledged across the board for directing and design elements, but perhaps overlooked for writing and show. There was so much to choose from, why a conceptual episode? It's a shame. In particular it's a shame because (as Mallory deftly mocked below) All My Freakin' Children got nominated. I only watched the ABC shows in 2009 and while there might be arguments which was the best, I can't imagine thinking AMC wasn't the worst. Inexplicable.

(Gotta add that AMC got nominated by submitting an episode from the storyline that made me quit the show after 25 years. Ouch.)

[Judy]

What the what? GREY GARDENS was the best episode they could find to submit?? How about the scene with Jessica and Viki when Jess realized her baby died? I cried for two days straight, the two of them were so good.

Are the people at ABC ALL crack addicts or just the ones that think they know how to write?

[guilty pleasure]

What about Scott Evans, Louise?!?!? He was snubbed for an emmy nod, too!!!!!

[Louise]

Judy, it just makes no sense. All I can think of is that everyone behind the scenes put a lot more (and a different kind of) effort/work into the GG episode and it's a special point of pride for them -- so much so that they can't see the forest for the trees.

On the other hand I have NO doubt that the episodes you're suggesting were exactly what Bree Williamson submitted for her own entry (and deservedly so, as irritating as she's been since then!).

guilty pleasure, I do love Scott Evans but I admit I don't think he's as strong an actor as Claywell. I think he's got great raw talent and will develop into something wonderful, but comes off a little green to me at this stage. Would've loved a nom for him, but didn't honestly have much hope...

[guilty pleasure]

What do you mean by saying SE comes off "a little green", Louise?

[Beth]

In an interview, Brett Claywell said he submitted the episode from the night before the big wedding where Kyle rejects Oliver. It was one of the most honest and painful discussions of a relationship I've ever seen on a soap, and his performance was superb. Don't mourn too much. Talent like that will be recognized outside of daytime.

Also, really happy for Scott Clifton and Bree Williamson as well.

[guilty pleasure]

And another thing Louise: ABC Soaps in Depth magazine announced that they put Shenell Edmonds(Destiny Evans)on contract with the show! How come they didn't put Scott Evans on contract with OLTL when he was still on the show? Was it really true that he turned down a contract offer from the show? Was that part of the reason why he was fired from the show? Or was he just not as talented as the rest of the contracted cast members to be offered one?

[Ciny]

I had stopped watching the show but I just spotted Mark Lawson in the clip-singing---and in his Navy uniform. Must. Now. Watch.

[Dirk Mancuso]

Shenell Edmonds is out on contract and Kish is dumped?

Yeah, that crap makes TOTAL sense.

[Andrea]

Hey!! I'm happy that Shenell is on contract!! She's the best teen on the show.

So far, the musical is alright. At least they're singing already existing songs. And seeing Brody/Mark Lawson in dress whites was smoking. Don't see why Teen Mess rejects him. (Thank God her storyline is almost over)

[Tess]

The first musical event was way better than this one (so far) IMHO. It focused mainly on the teens, and I kinda liked it that way. Teen Jess (who is not really a teen) creeps me out too much, and Mark Lawson cannot lipsync at all. Of Friday's performances, I'd have to say my favorite was by far Blair's.

[Angie]

I have to agree with you about the Messica storyline. I can't understand why someone hasn't handed her a mirror and her baby and tell her to grow the hell up.

The fact that we all saw Jessica grow up on screen must not have crossed anyone's mind. If it had they would realize she didn't act like this mess we see on our screens.

As for Natalie, I wish Clint and Vicky cared about her as half as much as they care about their crazy daughter. Maybe then she could turn to them for advise and not make this horrible mistake that is about to happen.

[Lisa]

I have no clue what this Grey Garden stuff is but am chiming in on the musical. I loathe it with a passion. It now takes me about 10 minutes to watch this show and thank god I do tape the damn thing. To me, the musical doesn't move the story along at all. I just hate it. Can you tell?