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« Desperately Seeking a Descriptor | Main | The Best and Worst of the 2010 Daytime Emmys »

June 30, 2010

Decent Bits and Pieces

I hope you guys are sitting down, because what I am about to say will surprise you you, and I would feel really guilty if you read this while standing and then fell down from shock and hurt yourself: All My Children this week has given us several seriously entertaining moments.

While I am bossing you all around, let's take a moment (you can sit or stand, I have no preference) to reflect upon how sad it is that finding a handful of interesting moments on this show is so rare that it calls for celebration.

It's true, though: if you slog through the majority of the show, which continues to be more boring than...I am drawing a blank on something of comparative dullness. It's possible that there is nothing else quite so yawn-worthy (except, maybe--and it's totally sad that this is the first thing I think of when I think of "really boring", like even before I think of televised bowling--the early chapter in all of The Babysitters Club books where Ann M. Martin's ghostwriter feels the need to recap the history of the BSC and the personalities of all of the members, as if we're jumping in blind with #62 and have no idea that Kristy is a tomboy). Whatever--if you look past most of the show, there are some gems.


Like, say, Annie and Marissa's catfight. That's probably not the best way to describe their scenes, since it implies that they were equal participants in the fight. What really happened was that Annie was a bitch on wheels and hit Marissa where it hurts, and Marissa lamely responded with things like, "You're a bad person". The two of them are in completely different hemispheres when it comes to verbal sparring, and Annie is well aware of it.

Annie: The real person to blame for JR sleeping with me is you. If you weren't such a boring little mouse, JR would have never had sex with me. I can understand why you feel threatened: pink flannel wife, or hot, sexy and exciting.
Marissa: What is so exciting about you? The way you lie and cheat? Is it sexy to be with a woman who murders, or who kidnaps her own child? Yeah, sex with a crazy person might be kind of fun, but in the end, that's all it is: sex. Just ask Adam, he left you for a better woman the first chance he got and Scott's going to do the exact same thing as soon as he realizes that you'll just bring him down.
Annie: That won't happen. And don't underestimate sex! People can talk about wanting to marry their best friend. Well, if that best friend isn't good in the sack, there's no chance at wedded bliss. I should know, it happened with Adam. The second he stopped sleeping with me, I knew we were done.
Marissa: Oh, so you slept with my husband to save your marriage?
Annie: And you're not sleeping with him to save yours? Tell me, how's that working out for you?
Marissa: Stay out of our marriage!
Annie: You're the one who's playing games here. What you're doing to JR, withholding sex from him until he can prove something to you? Prove that he's a loyal, faithful, obedient husband? Prove that he's worthy of your extra special pink flannel love? He's not a dog! He's a man, he's a sexy, passionate, amazing man, so you know what? Continue carpooling to all of your playdates, but you will never be a match for him.

Calling Marissa a "pink flannel wife" is so amazingly spot-on. I am crazy jealous that I didn't coin that phrase first. You bested me this time, AMC writers. 

As much as she tries to pretend that she and Annie are on equal ground here, Marissa started second-guessing herself after hearing Annie's (accurate) assessment of her and went on shopping to find some sexy clothes to wear for JR. Even Krystal, who is a moron, pointed out the flaws in this idea, but Marissa forged ahead and led us to the most unintentionally hilarious/deeply sad scene in quite some time, where Marissa put on a dress she obviously purchased at Cache (known in some circles as "The Cougar Store") and vamped in the mirror. I CRINGED SO HARD. It was so embarrassing to watch a (seriously lovely) girl try so hard to be sexy and to fail so...so much (I know what I speak of here--I was once told that I'm cute, not hot. And the "not" was delivered so witheringly that it may well have been italicized here. Ohmigod, did I just admit to relating to Marissa?! What does it say about a person if they can relate to a robot??).

But the hilarity came later, when AJ burst in and was HORRIFIED by Marissa's get up. Seriously, it was like he was in a horror movie.

AJ: Mommy? What are you doing? I'M SCARED.

I could not stop laughing.

And then, proving Annie's point, she took her heavy makeup off and changed into a velour tracksuit. Oh, Marissa. How woefully boring and behind the times you are.


I'm not going to pretend that I have any interest in Erica and Caleb's antagonistic...for now relationship, or the revelation that Caleb is a Cooney, or the particulars of Palmer's will (many of which did not seem to make any sense. Damn you, writers, for making it seem like Palmer had terrible ideas!), but I once again laughed out loud during today's episode:

Erica: Jack has great taste.
Caleb: And perfect hair.
Erica: Yeah, he actually showers. He takes care of himself.

I loved the perfect hair retort. And then!

Caleb: Who is THAT?
Erica: That is my gay, married daughter.
Caleb: ...whoa.

Guffaw! Not literally, it was actually more of a chuckle, but still: Haaaa!


Vincent Irizarry and Rebecca Budig continue to exhibit off the charts chemistry and if the writers would just write David and Greenlee true to character, and let them have a real love story, it would seriously be one of AMC's best romances in years. Years! Because when the two of them are in a scene together, you can't help but sit up and take notice. They're so good and they're so compelling, and it's so like AMC that this...is going to happen.

You know who has been waiting for that, Melodramatic ABC Announcer? SATAN. SATAN and NO ONE ELSE because NO ONE ELSE is so DEPRAVED that they would wish for something so GROSS and HORRIBLE and VOM.


I just want to now why? Why?!?!?!?!?!?!??! [/M'Lynn Eatenton]

Vincent and Rebecca are amazing together. They always have been and always will be unstoppable on screen. I'm hoping the promo is deliberately misleading. They seemed to be making Ryan and Madison happen, which I'm all for. Stop trying to make RYLEE happen before I have to claw my freaking eyes out!!!

David/Greenlee skeeve me out in the same way that Annie/Adam did. I just don't see this chemistry between David and Greenlee that so many others talk of. That being said, I don't want Rylee either. I don't think that they are amazing by any means but Ryan and Madison don't bother me and if it keeps Ryan occupied and away from Greenlee, I am all for it. I laughed outloud when Erica made the "gay, married daughter" comment. It was very unexpected and that is why it was so funny.

The thought of Rylee makes me want to run away from my television

The BSC reference made me totally ROFL!!

It needs to be said again:
"as if we're jumping in blind with #62 and have no idea that Kristy is a tomboy"

I'm going to have to YouTube Marissa trying to be all vamp---damn you, Serial Drama, you have made me take an interest again!

what's with all the Ryan/Greenlee HATE?

I hate that they are ruining David to prop up Ryan. The whole thing of David pretending to turn himself in to the SEC and then buying his way out, while perfectly David, is just another excuse for Greenlee to be pissed off and run to Ryan. I love David and Greenlee together, and was looking forward to them taking over Pine Valley. Oh well. And thanks ABC for ruining the story in the promos giving me no reason to actually watch the show now.

I never warmed to Marissa. MCE can do wonders with what they give her IF they don't write Annie so over the top circus. I am slowly getting over the creepy of Greenlee/David, it beats the alternative. There was someone else I liked and missed, but alas, it's been to long and I forgot who it was. Sigh.

David and Greenlee are great together! Who is this "all" that has been waiting for a R/G reunion? 6 people...Brian Frons and CM plus one viewer in each time zone? Why, oh why do they think viewers want Greenlee w/Ryan? Where does this crazy idea come from? They really need some better research methods!

If AMC thinks I'm tuning in to watch Rylee they're insane. I'm really loving David and Greenlee and the idea that TBTP won't write a real love story for them but will give me another round of the toxic pairing known as Rylee makes me want to throw something through my TV.

Greenlee bores me to tears with or without David. She's a vapid silly little girl, there's not a thing womanly about her. Now what would be great is David and Angie! I love Jessie and Angie but it's time to shake things up. Vincent and Debbi are two acting powerhouses. But of course I'm just dreaming.

I usually "watch" AMC while doing other things (i.e., playing endless games of bejeweled), but had to rewind just to watch the "Mommy? I'm scared!" conversation (oh, and plus the verbal smackdown between Annie and Marissa). Hysterical! The only time I remember Marissa is an actual character on this soap is when she is with Annie.

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