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« A Sad Day in Llanview | Main | Sins of the Father...That We're Being Punished For »

June 16, 2010

The New Girls In Town

A lot happened in Pine Valley today: Erica fell into a pit; Krystal drawled something meaningless; Jesse continued to hate David and conveniently took a break from his usual routine of stalking David just as Hayward was the victim of assault (All I said was that a lot happened in Pine Valley, I didn't say that any of it was interesting because oh, goodness, is that not the case). In the midst of all of that action, an unfamiliar face and an unfamiliar personality took center stage.

Bianca is back in town, now played by Christina Bennett Lind. Judging by her appearance, I am assuming that the casting call noted that a primary criteria for getting the role was to have enormous eyes.


I am way hard on recasts. I talk a good game and say things like, "I am going to be patient and give them time to settle into the role", but I rarely mean that, which I am sure you all figured, because since when do I wait before forming an opinion? Knee-jerk reactions are kind of my thing! 

And, goodness gracious, did she not get help from the writers. It's sort of impossible for rational people to view you favorably when your character does a whole lot of Rylee pimping on her first day back!

Bianca: That day was supposed to be special to all of us. And Ryan? His love changed you. I could finally see the woman hiding behind all that toughness.

Bianca: What happened to her, Ryan?
Ryan: I wish I knew.
Bianca: You still love her. I can see in your eyes.

Ugh, not to shoot the messenger or anything, but surely I can't be the only one who screamed, "DISGUST! GO BACK TO PARIS! HATE SPEECH!"

But that is not her fault, it's the fault of the creatively bankrupt writers. So I really AM going to try to give her a chance, but it will take some getting used to. For one, her Bianca seems...older? Than Eden Riegel's. Not that Ms. Lind seems old (and I have no idea how old she is), she just comes across as more mature. And she has a very strange habit of over-enunciating the ends of words (Bianca: My motheR coulD be deaD. You diD thaT) (oddly, Natalie Hall had the same issue when she joined the show, too), but maybe that will get less noticeable after a while?


As for other stranger in town...

Greenlee: Bianca may have lost her mother. I've never seen her like that, and all I did was lie to her. What have you turned me into?

I guess Greenlee is one of the thousands of AMC viewers who tuned the hell out when this show started its slide downhill.

It was especially strange because the old, naughty, entertaining Greenlee got a shoutout earlier in the episode

Bianca: Maybe you're just reverting to who you used to be.
Greenlee: Maybe I like that person. That person didn't let people push her around.

and some of us, maybe, clapped our hands with delight at the prospect of a bitchy, scheming Greenlee in full control of her bitchy schemes. And once she got started with the attitude, she didn't stop, finally snapping at Bianca (and Ryan) that she wasn't going to stick around so they could insult her nonstop.

Greenlee: Stop using me as your punching bag. I'm sick of it. Attacking me won't help Erica.

Self Righteous Douchebag: You gotta stop doing this, Greenlee. You gotta stop protecting him. How much of your soul are you going to give before you completely lose yourself?
Greenlee: My soul's no longer your problem.

Greenlee: If I was the total bitch you made me out to be, I'd kick you both of. This is MY company. But since I'm in such a generous mood, stay. Slam me some more behind my back, and when you're done playing "How Bad Greenlee and David Are", why don't you go find Erica and leave me alone?

And regardless of whether or not you are on board with Greenlee and David's schemes or not, you have to admit that this reaction is completely in keeping with who Greenlee is, and who Greenlee always was, aside from the time she was lobotomized by Ryan's love. So when it turned into, "Ohmigod, David, why did you do this to me? And how did you manage to time travel back to 1999 to make my younger self do all of those things?! You really ARE an evil genius!", I was making a Ryan Lavery confused face at the screen.


Speaking of the proprietor of the Douche Lord Inn, he pummeled the hell out of David today because...well, because no one in Pine Valley really needs an excuse to berate and/or brutalize David because he's so bad and so mean. And as he is throttling David, Madison--BATTERED WIFE MADISON--tries to intervene and pull Ryan off of him, and Ryan pushes her off so hard that she goes flying like a rag doll.

So this is totally horrifying, right? Because being thrown across the park by an irate jerkoff would be traumatic enough for anyone, let alone someone who is an abuse victim. But it turns out that, no, it's totally no big, because Ryan is so not an angry person anymore!

Ryan: This rage, this anger...it's not who I am anymore. I dealt with it. It's in the past now.

Um, it's actually "in the five fucking seconds ago", you tool.

But anyway, all of his rage issues are so yesterday and he's totally sorry, and he's a hero, so why would Madison be upset?

Madison: Look, Erica's lost and she could be hurt, and it's probably David's fault. So I understand that you're angry. I'm angry, too.
Ryan: I'll give you a little space, okay?
Madison: When I told you to go, I didn't mean away fro mme. Find Erica. You are not the type of person to sit around and wait for things to happen. That's why you were running through this park. I mean, you can't sit still when someone you care about is in trouble. I'll watch Emma. What are you waiting for?
Ryan: I don't even know what to say.
Madison: Do what you need to do and bring Erica home.

Why do I get the feeling that when the writers are brainstorming, lots of ideas are rejected on the basis of not being horrible enough?


Wait, but Erica fell in a pit? What kind of pit?? Did they show her in the bottom of the pit??? Like all mussed up and glamorously dirt-speckled in some $5,000 suit, screaming, "Somebody help me!?"

I've always had a weird obsession with shows where characters fall in pits. I used to stick my Barbie dolls in the washing machine all the time and pretend they'd fallen into a pit. And in middle school, I created my own Star Trek crew and wrote a story where two characters fell into a pit and fell in love. Which... I think I might've directly ripped from a trapped-in-the-bottom-of-a-pit episode of the Next Generation.

"and some of us, maybe, clapped our hands with delight at the prospect of a bitchy, scheming Greenlee in full control of her bitchy schemes."

I think this is one of those Greenlee myths like Greenlee was Kendall's friend or Greenlee and Ryan were soulmates. Almost ever since Greenlee started on the show, they have tried to pass Greenlee off as a misunderstood little darling, a lost soul who only acted out because Daddy didn't love her enough or because being rich and lonely is sad. The only thing which has changed over the years is the show's justification for her selfish and destructive behavior.

I watch this show everyday and nothing on it is interesting. The new writers are terrible, not Chuck Pratt terrible, but terrible in their own right. But by far the least interesting storyline to me is watching "the two sides of Greenlee" sparring for dominance. I am tired of seeing this character conflicted when we all know damned well how this will turn out. I like Rebecca Budig but I have always thought that Greenlee was truly a vapid a-hole. I really wish the writers would just let her roam around Pine Valley and make snide comments about everyone. At least that might entertain me.

And I will give her some time before I pass judgement but having only seen her for two days, I think NuBianca is okay. Not amazing, but nowhere near awful.

Proprietor of the Douche Lord Inn - awesomest thing I will hear all day today!

I may have giggled a little when dirt fell in Erica Kane's face. Erica Kane!

NuBianca is okay and I like her hair. I reserve the right to change my mind if warranted later.

I didn't really care about Ryan choking David or him getting in Greenlee's face b/c, to be quite honest, I can't stand the lot of them, and I can't believe I'm feeling this way about David again. I thought he was at his worst in 2004, which I still think is him at his worst to date, but he's annoying right now. I'm not the least bit shocked that Greenlee has turned all responsibility over to David. It's what she does.

"For one, her Bianca seems...older? Than Eden Riegel's. Not that Ms. Lind seems old (and I have no idea how old she is), she just comes across as more mature."

Maybe its the deeper voice. NuBianca seems okay so far but its going to be difficult to make fans forget about Eden Riegel, especially since she is unlikely to get the kind of writing ER got before the show started to really suck.

Okay, what the eff was going on with NuBianca's dress sleeves? Were they awful and mismatched in order to show that she just flew in from Paris? And if she did then why were her shoes so hideous?

There, that's off my chest.

Next up: can Erika just get rescued already? I'm. So. Bored. OOOoo there's a locket! It's a mystery. Oooooo Caleb didn't take her cell phone to keep her from calling her family... she's thinking about that issue ALL WRONG.

And WTH is Krystal doing on that mountain in pointy toed high heeled boots? WTH is she doing there at all??????

Sorry. Rant off.

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