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« The Best and Worst of the 2010 Daytime Emmys | Main | Fear and Loathing in Port Charles »

July 01, 2010

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Remote Control

It was really sad for the last couple of weeks when OLTL wasn't airing at its regular time, or anywhere else for that matter.  Every day I'd come home and turn on the TV and the DVR would tell me it recorded my soap, but I pressed play and every time, every time they'd even have the OLTL opening credits, but it wasn't OLTL.  Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of familiar characters I'd been watching for years, characters like Matthew and Starr and I think even a little Viki thrown in for good measure, so I had no choice but to assume that it was clearly a new spin-off of my show. 

Yesterday they even gave me a little bit of Blair and Eli, but they seemed to be dropping some hints that Eli was involved in this whole Ford attempted-murder mystery in some sort of untoward way, and I just knew that wasn't possible.  So it was still the spin-off. 

Today, on the other hand, they seem to have merged the old show and this mysterious new teen spin-off version of OLTL because... I mean there was Dorian!  And Blair!  And Bo!  And Nora!  And David Vickers!  With his hooker played by that chick who used to play Greenlee on that other show!

Speaking of other shows, I need to have a few things broken down for me.  Starr and Random New Hot Teen Guy (they keep saying he's "James," so okay, I'll bite) went into some roadside diner to get some food (thankfully even after all their time on the run, sleeping in cars, she was in perfect makeup and her hair was well-styled -- I mean imagine the horror if on Tuesday she'd ended the show without perfectly coiffed hair for that embarrassing cell phone lullaby!) and in the background they were playing that grating "Just You & Me" song.  You know, the song they use as the theme song on that show that comes on after this to celebrate the prison phone sex and awkward love scenes between their staple insanely-hot chick and that weird puffy emotionless hero-slash-assassin dude?  Well, they played it for this couple:


Yeah, I'm saying "couple" already, 'cause duh.  I don't know if they'll go there beyond today's kissyface, but they're clearly dangling it, just in case people might be bored of Starr and Cole (good call?) or just in case they're trying to give them a new roadblock so everyone will start rooting for them again. 

So I did some soap-nerd googling and found a few sources that insisted said "Just You & Me" song was written especially for General Hospital by Robert Hartry and Rie Sinclair.  Oh and here are the lyrics:

Do I need to be invisible to just survive
Or am I foolishly wasting my time
Try so hard to quiet my expensive dreams
Before they take me out, leave me wondering

Baby, it's just You & Me, we got a thing they cant shake
Maybe, it's a little hard sometimes to take
But I'll tell you something, its a life worth living
Just so you know, I wouldn't give it up, no.

Is it all a market war in this economy
Filling up headlines with our fantasy
System fails hard & we fall apart sometimes

But then you pull me back with your quiet smile

Well, okay.  That makes no sense on either show.  ("A market war in this economy"??)  But then I did some further soap-nerd googling and learned that it was sometimes used for underscoring... Cristian and Evangeline?

I am really confused.  I am also confused that we keep being told Ford is such a bastard because of what he did to Langston.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but who was the real victim in the Ford/PizzaGirl/Langston/Markko situation?  It was Langston?  Someone needs to explain that to me after they explain to me what the song means and why the eff they'd throw Eli under the bus, please. 

Is there any chance that the return of Nora and Bo means a little more balance with the grownups?  Any chance that we've had a couple days in a row of Blair so that means more Blair and Eli?  Any chance that Hannah 'fessing up to some truths today means we get to keep Meghann Fahy a little longer than expected?  I am asking too much, I'm sure. 

To be fair, today we were given the gift of Dorian in a Fourth of July... you guessed it, hat!


That makes any episode at least a little bit better.  After a slew of horrendously bad episodes.  Bless Dorian and her hats.


Now I'm going to indulge myself by doing my here-and-there comments on OLTL-related activity because, lo and behold, some of you spectacular people have told me you like hearing about it!

Done Dirt Cheap, the excellent AC/DC tribute band that includes Michael Lowry (ex-Ross), is playing at the Fourth of July Parade in Brookside, New Jersey on, well, the 3rd of July.  

I was walking home the other day and passed Kassie de Paiva (Blair) on the street.  She was going for a run and her awesome new haircut looked extra good with the ends of the layers all sweaty (I mean glowy!), and I definitely am not allowed to resent her for looking so smokin' in her bikini on the show yesterday and today.  Because she does work for it!  And is still a goddess.

That's all I got.

Destiny out!


You're a better woman than I, Louise: you're still watching this "show." Sadly, it's been several weeks since I did so, though I'm thinking of Huluing yesterday's episode to see Blair in a bikini. To think how far this show has fallen... ugh.

I watch OLTL everyday. Do I miss Kish, Schuyler and Rachel? Yes. It's summer time which means the teeny boppers are on display.

Eli. Eli had an agenda when he first came to town, besides being his brother's lawyer.

I am not necessarily feeling good about the hints that Elijah is heavily involved in this Ford crap but when it comes down to it, Eli can be as shady as he wants as long as he is awesome to Blair and her kids.

This would be me crossing my fingers.

Dorian's hat was a delightful respite amid all the Newbie! Teen! Drama! On the Run!

Kassie going on a run? Well, we all saw her in a bikini yesterday. It pays off.

Actually... I think I'm going to go do my workout now...

Louise, I have to tell you this cuz I don't know if you look at the blog's Facebook page at all. I was in an opera in Brooklyn the last two weekends, and for our opening show, our audience was graced with the presence of Lois Smith, who played Dorian's Aunt Betsy a few years ago! Wheeee! She is a friend of one of our singers, and was kind enough to stop and tell me how much she enjoyed it after the show! I am such a soap geek!

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind if Eli has some nefarious skeletons in the closet of his past, I'm just praying they don't make him this huge puppet master who is responsible for Marty's miscarriage and Ford's attempted murder.

And LadyBug, I know that soaps have always traditionally ramped up the teen stories in summer, but I've never seen it quite this bad. There's just nothing else there, and so many newbies! While I miss all the fired actors, I do think the show has had really great stages since they all left, just that these last couple of weeks... just... blah.

Judy, I confess I'm not sure I even recall Lois Smith's stint on OLTL but I do know she's a freakin' living legend in the trifecta (film/theatre/tv), so that is awesome! Congrats!

Thanks, Louise! Lois Smith was on when Adriana was revealed to be Dorian's daughter so she could inherit Aunt Betsy's money. It was five or six years ago I think.

You go, Judy :) That is awesome.

If OLTL is watching their budget then that's why we're seeing so many teens. Do I like it? Nope. I want to the vets that I grew up with--Viki, Dorian, Bo....

I blame Brian Frons for the shitstorm this show has degenerated into.

My sweet Ron Carlivati was percolatin' along until Fronsie decided Kish had to go and forced the writers to scrap what was obviously months of story.

*le sigh*

If only Ron's considerable talents could be put to use over at Y&R which is so badly written it makes the OLTL teen angst look like Hemingway.

I'm still trying to predict Eli's wacky "I did it because..." speech when this all really comes out, but I'm getting nowhere.

He had no reason to try and kill Ford.

Dorian + Hat = One Life to Live love.

I am not necessarily feeling good about the hints that Elijah is heavily involved in this Ford crap but when it comes down to it, Eli can be as shady as he wants as long as he is awesome to Blair and her kids.
This would be me crossing my fingers.

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