Adults Behaving Badly and Failed Identity Switches

Elijah Clarke really needs to have a chat with his cell phone carrier.  First I wondered how, had he not known that his brother (?) Ross was still alive before Tea told him, he would still have a current phone number for him that had a working voicemail. 

Of course then after announcing to Ross's voicemail that Todd and Tea had told him he was alive, Eli let out an adorable fake gasp, so I'm assuming he has known all along and has been in contact with him the whole time.  So okay, Ross isn't the worst at the whole faking-his-death-to-skirt-the-law thing, since one might typically change one's phone number when one is trying to avoid public knowledge of his continued breathing.  But does this mean Eli and Ross have been in cahoots on all the evil dastardliness since the beginning, ergo meaning once Billy Warlock shows up, we'll lose both him and Matt Walton relatively soon since mustache-twirling villians are typically not long for our show?  I hope not.  I hope we keep them.

So while I'm going to give Ross the benefit of the doubt that he doesn't have the same phone number he used to before he was on the run, apparently I cannot give Eli the same benefit of the doubt.

 

The dude has changed his entire identity, but he still has the same freakin' cell phone number he had on his business cards from when he was Bennett Thompson??   Damn, he really is an evil mastermind!  Also, since Bennett Thompson was also an attorney, does this mean he sat twice for the bar exam -- once as Bennett and once as Eli?  Or did he just forge some documents for the second go-round?  And are we to assume that he loves practicing law so much that he didn't bother to switch careers when he switched identities?

Speaking of switched identities, down in Silver Spring, Maryland, Evangeline's identity has been switched with a pair of legs and a heart monitor.  While David Fumero (Cristian) wins this week's Brittany Underwood Crying With No Tears Award, you have to give the poor man credit for having to break down at the bedside of some extra and a prop machine while pretending she's a character he hasn't seen in three years.

He's a good sport, he is.  (Since Tika Sumpter is about to go off-contract and David Fumero is not, does this mean the marriage won't happen?  Or it will but she'll just show up on his arm for special occasions?  Or is she going "off-contract" the way Scott Evans [Fish] did a few months ago... as in, they say she'll still be around from time to time, but we'll never see her again?  So many questions!)

At least there's one thing to celebrate right now.  One crapfest has come to an end!  You know the one...

And no, I don't just mean that this two-weeks-long day is coming to an end and therefore Dorian might finally remove that headband.

I mean this storyline that involves two of the more dignified folks in town throwing themselves at people they're not interested in so that they can further some sort of matchmaking scheme.  Because they all of a sudden wanted to reunite Dorian and a character who's obviously only visiting the show temporarily.  I have to give Erika Slezak credit, though, because Viki's facial expressions throughout this whole mini-plot have been priceless and almost made the whole thing worth sitting through... almost.  But as Dorian put it, the scheme was pure "juvenalia" and wildly out of character for the people involved, who I hope get moved along to bigger and better storyline, pronto.  I did learn something today, though -- I was confused when Dorian referred to Viki and David in bed together as a "spectre."  It was an apparition?  Weird.  But upon further investigation, I learn that she used the less common definition of the word quite well: "some object or source of terror or dread."  I'll say.  Well done, Mayor! 

I'm off to spend some more time processing the latest casting news.  Destiny out!

 

Comments

[Lauren]

I was thinking the exact same thing: I can't wait for Dorian to take off that headband!

[Dandesun]

Maybe Eli's nefarious Bennett Thompson number gets forwarded to his current phone? Maybe? I mean... otherwise, he's just a stupid bitch.

Who wears some gloriously tight pants.

What?

His mock surprise at Ross being alive was delightful. No question that Eli has been in contact with his suddenly miniature brother all along. His outrage at Tea for not telling him just seems infinitely funny at this point.

But given that his nefarious alter-ego Bennett Thompson is so nefarious and mysterious that his email doesn't even have a domain name I have to assume there's something up with the phone situation. Besides, he did look at his phone curiously and he answered it with a plain 'Hello.' as opposed to the usual 'Elijah Clarke.'

But since I adore him, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. Now, Eli, all you have to do is clue Blair into your dark side. She's got one, too. May you both be gloriously wicked together.

Please?

[Louise]

Dandesun, that occurred to me, too, but a forwarded number would be pretty easy to trace. (Not by Rex, of course, who took three months to wonder if a Yastrzemski baseball card might have something to do with someone from Boston.)

I agree that all his Todd and Tea-directed rage over "concealing" that Ross was alive is pretty hilarious in light of this new info, though!

[Dandesun]

They could go all Burn Notice and do triangulations and what-not.

And, be fair, Rex has been making out with a briefcase for the past month. Frankly, I'm surprised he remembered he was working on a case for Kelly. At least they both had the decency to sit there and tell Eli, you know, EVERYTHING.

Would anyone cry if Eli offed these two? Anyone in the audience, I mean? The majority of Eli's nefarious deeds are cause for celebration rather than fear and anger to my mind.

[Andrea]

I really don't want Ross to be villainized even more. Maybe they have been in contact with one another, but Ross didn't know what Eli was up to.

And I'm really sad that ML won't be playing Ross.

[guilty pleasure]

FYI Louise, Scott Evans was NEVER on contract with OLTL!!! He was always on recurring status with the show for the whole two years he was on that show! TIIC NEVER even put him on contract and NEVER put his face in the opening credits!!! UGH!!!!!

[Louise]

You're right, guilty pleasure, Evans was never on contract, which seems to be a consistent problem with the way they run things at this show. I was thinking of when he was dropped from even "recurring" status and they announced we'd still see him from time to time, but we never saw him again. But I worded it all wrong!

[Judy]

Cheer up, guilty pleasure, I distinctly remember Fish being in the credits at some point. It may not have been for long, but I know it happened!

As for the phone and business cards, it's perfectly clear. Eli's full name is Bennett Thompson Elijah Clarke, so he just uses different dbas wherever he practices.

Finally, the reason no one has figured out that Eli = Bennett Thompson is due to the fact that people in soapland are always the slowest to catch on to anything. I mean, they actually believed Eli didn't know Ross was alive. Not the brightest bulbs in the box.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

I still have no idea how Bennett Thompson is supposed to connect into anything. Why on earth would Eli kill Melinda? Marty I can see if it turns out it was all revenge on Todd or something, and Ford for trying to blackmail him, but the Cramers? He seems to either be in love or indifferent to them, and there's no reason to seek revenge against them. At this point, the only logical thing is that Melinda died of natural causes and Kelly is just a moron. Why couldn't they just have pinned this part on the British guy?

[LizM]

Louise, I thought your screencap following the end of the crapfest might be foreshadowing that we were going to get some better writing soon! Much as that whole storyline was ridiculous, at least it was a good excuse to look at Tuc Watkins with his shirt off.