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« The Day's Most Overused Dialogue | Main | If Santa Showed Up in August »

August 02, 2010

Sucks So Good: True Blood 3.7, "Hitting The Ground"

Sunday evenings are, traditionally, the second worst part of any week; Monday mornings obviously claim the title for the worst part. It's usually hard to enjoy a Sunday night with Monday's presence looming eerily, taunting you with the bags under your bloodshot eyes that are soon to come. So powerful is Monday that I'm on summer vacation right now and have nothing to even do on Mondays, and I still find myself dreading them.

The TV gods, however, are smiling on us this summer and have filled our Sundays with Mad Men AND True Blood in one night. It's glorious, no?

Which brings us to our latest installment of Sucks So Good (thanks again to Mary Beth for the name!) and talk of the blood and gore in Bon Temps. After the jump, chatter about "Hitting the Ground"!

First things first: what the hell, people? That episode started early AND it ended early! I feel deprived and am frowning sternly in HBO's general direction.


Second things second: the running theme of this week's episode? Death. When an episode starts with the death of a much-loathed character and ends with the decapitation of another, well...I'm pretty sure Bob Guza is never deleting this episode from his DVR. "That's what Franco's art exhibit was missing," he's thinking to himself glumly. "Thick bursts of blood and a decapitated head on a hamster wheel. That's art."

Figuring that they may as well end her character on a high note, the show followed up Lorena's few minutes of being sympathetic and tolerable last week by having Sookie stake the hell out of her. The tiresome cow was killed off even before the opening credits! I knew then that we were in for an hour forty or so minutes of blood, bloody sweat and bloody tears.

Sookie: You wouldn't know love if it kicked you in the fangs!


Then there was a blood Niagara.


Tara, who is continuing to kick ass and take names, and Alcide, who is continuing to be all sorts of handsome, came in to get Sookie and, eventually, Debbie "Trash" Pelt came in, brandishing a gun, and she and Alcide exchanged words and, long story short, Alcide got the gun and wound up killing Cooter. I always found myself more amused by Cooter than I had any right to be. I think it's because of his now-classic line "You're about to get deader. Dead-ass motherfucker". Why does life present so few opportunities to use a line like that in casual conversation?!

Debbie, predictably, did not react well to Cooter's death and promised to hunt Alcide down (he reacted mostly blankly. Oh, Joe Manganiello and your 6'5" frame of hotness.), because the second half of the season needs a new villain now that Lorena is gone and her skank-ass fits the bill nicely.


"You sure picked a dumbass time to call me a bitch, bitch". She's got the soul of a poet.

The last death of the episode: the magister, who had been relishing torturing Pam. Pam, it must be noted, is fierce and fabulous even while being brutally tortured, purring "How did you know I was a Tiffany's girl?" at his "present" of sterling silver earrings that he wanted to put through her eyelids. Russell, tightly wound and unstable at the best of times, did not respond well when the magister kept invoking the name of a higher authority and...well:


1.) Ew.

2.) Ha, a little.

3.) I am curious to know more about the hierarchy of vampire power, like who the "authority" is.


A secondary theme of the episode was "What the fucking hell is this?"


So Sookie was in a coma, because Bill attacked her and drank most of her blood (which, interestingly, allowed him to go out in the sun without crisping) and she can't get a blood transfusion because she has no blood type (the plot thickens) and then (wait, I feel like we were cheated out of a scene of Eric realizing that Sookie was in danger. I know he's playing a role who is playing a role who is playing an uncomfortably flirtatious role with Russell and Co., but a quick glimpse of him "feeling" Sookie--not like that. Although he DID feel Hadley like that--would have been nice) (although since Hadley presumably spilled the beans and told him about Sookie, maybe he figured he needn't be concerned about her?) a trip to the land of...nymphs? Fairies?

The amount of secondhand embarrassment I had while watching this scene was palpable. I was literally squirming. THERE WAS FROLICKING.


On the plus side, we did learn that Sookie and Jason's parents weren't killed by water, so that's...not enough to make up for the awkward, actually. I am trying to have faith in Alan Ball; I don't want this to become ANOTHER show that I am embarrassed to talk about in front of people.

Also, when Sookie came back from fairy land, she was, um, not so happy to see Bill.


So that's interesting, although I am assuming it will be short-lived.

(Also interesting, how difficult it was for me to screencap the fairy world! It was like my computer was trying to protect itself from having to store those cheesy images by just refusing to cooperate. I know my computer doesn't actually have a mind of its own, but sometimes I wonder...)


Jason's star-crossed love affair with Crystal continues to bore, but his attempt at dealing with depression that he didn't know his tiny mind was capable of feeling was hilarious. Ryan Kwanten is seriously underrated, folks. It takes a lot to pull off that much stupid, and to do it without your accent veering into "Oscar from The Office tries to talk like he's from Savannah" territory, let alone not letting your natural accent come out, is impressive.

I love that Hoyt is the brains of their operation, suggesting that Jason should go to the meth dealer in lockup and fish for information about Crystal. Who, it must be said, he had a good point about:

Hoyt: She's from Hotshot. She was probably named after the drug that keeps the whole town afloat.

I mean, really. The amount that I do not care about Crystal cannot be described using English words.

I also loved that you could see Hoyt visibly lose his will to live while Summer was nattering and planning their future. 


I'm with you there, boy. And not just because Hoyt and Jessica are 2Cute2B4Gotten, but because Summer irks.


Other assorted thoughts:

*As mentioned above, Tara is on a rampage of awesome, completely obliterating memories of season two. She overpowered Debbie and then, when she realized what Bill did to Sookie, completely lost it.

Alcide: It's still light out. If you open it--
Tara: You think I give a fuck?!
Bill: What happened?
Tara: You fucking asking me?
Alcide: We got to get her to a hospital.
Tara: Get out.
Bill: But I can help--

(A more realistic transcription of her "out" would probably include a lot more u's, actually, but you know what I mean)

And then she literally kicked him out of the van.

It was amazing.

I give Rutina Wesley and her accent a lot of grief, but I have to say, she's completely in her element when she's being strong and awesome.

*The dog fighting was upsetting (that pile of bodies! Ugh!), but Sam played hero, setting the dogs free and taking a stand against his awful parents by saving his brother's life.


Tommy has grown on me tremendously since his first couple of episodes, where he could best be described as "a little shit" and, you know...tried to kill Sam. But it was sweet to watch his obvious admiration for Sam when Sam was oh-so-wonderfully telling off the vile Joe Lee.

Sam: For the life of me, I can't understand the power you've got over these people. Because I see you for what you are. Just a sad man in saggy underpants.

Point Sam, because seriously.

I am hoping against hope that this is the last of Melinda and Joe Lee, but I doubt it.

* How Lafayette deals with hospital policy: "Go somewhere else to find someone else's organs to harvest or some shit".

* I loved the uncomfortable air kiss that marked the union of the King and Queen, and Pam's "Congrats". Granted, I love everything about Pam, so...

* I am assuming that Franklin is off recovering from nearly having his head bashed in and using the time off to think of hilarious things to say, and that is why this was a regrettably Franklin-free episode.

* Maybe Denis O'Hare's genius is rubbing off on Evan Rachel Wood, because Sophie-Anne was pretty okay tonight. The overacting was kept to a minimum and she pronounced normal words the way that they are supposed to be pronounced, with no bizarre inflection or enunciation. So cheers to that. Also, pretty.


(Why is she with Marilyn Manson, again? There's a short interview with her in the latest Marie Claire, and she talks about how she's lucky that she can get makeup tips from him. Not the kind of thing you're supposed to be bragging about, honey)

Also, gave us an amusing "...WTF?" face.


*Let me gush a bit more over Denis O'Hare. I am terrified and perplexed by Russell and his evil scheme for world domination, but I love him, as much as it's possible to love someone who used to hobnob with Hitler. He has a pitch perfect blend of malice, ruthlessness, crazy and humor. He's not TOO campy, he's not TOO evil. He's just amazing.

On Fangtasia: Love the place. Love your vibe. We must start franchising later.

To the magister: Perhaps you have not quite grasped the subtext of our earlier exchange, but there is a new fucking authority in town!


Sophie-Anne: Can we hurry this along? I'm getting cold feet.
Russell: Of course, my little puddin'.


I want him on-screen, always. On every show I watch.


I, too, found the bizarre combination of tampon commercial/free-love dance number from a really bad musical that broke out mid-episode really uncomfortable to watch.

Oh *show.* Really? You're on HBO. You couldn't do a little better?

I, too, feel a little robbed and unhappy with the development of Eric being wrapped up in the drama elsewhere (as deliciously entertaining as that drama is) while Sookie is near death. Mostly because they spent the first half of the season establishing there's *something* . . . even if it's disturbing and uncomfortable for him . . . there between them. I'm anxious (in the nervous way) to see what he does with the newfound knowledge of Sookie he has.

I realize that Ball seems to be on the Bill/Sookie train, but I've so very much enjoyed them *not* being together. . . The instant Sookie is back in Bill's presence she's doing stupid things like squatting in the middle of an enemy torture chamber they're trying to escape SCREAMING FOR HELP. Like, subtle, you idiot.

Pam could not be more awesome. We need more Pam. I am more than relieved she is safe.

Sam as a hero is awesome and all but the less said about doggie violence the better, in my little world.

Lafayette at the hospital was made of win, including his Inuit prayer.

Jason was . . . oh Jason.

Alcide was yummy.

Tara is fierce.

And I have less than zero interest in Summer's "biscuits."

oh also . . .

I agree that Sophie Anne was much more bearable now that she's been knocked down a peg or 100. Subtle suits her better.

And also also? WTF was up with the incredibly short episode??

I mean, I almost always hit the credit sequence with a growl of "that's it?? It's over?" but in that "time flies when Franklin Mott is delighting me and Eric Northman is mesmerizing me" kind of way.

This one ended abruptly *and* about 10 minutes earlier than usual.

Robbed indeed.

Then again, they probably would've just given me 5 more minutes of Jason mooning over Crystal and Joe Lee being skeevy so . . . small blessings, I guess.

"I agree that Sophie Anne was much more bearable now that she's been knocked down a peg or 100. Subtle suits her better."

Spot on, Mary Beth. Hoping this trend continues, because it makes the Queen just that much more like her actual written character.

(I am such a book purist.)

Fairly World did have pretty, pretty dresses though.

Yay! More Blood Sucking! I cannot get over how much I'm enjoying this show. I even like the Jason bits. The idea of Jason having to be a responsible adult is delicious to me. Actually, the idea of Jason having to be serious is delicious to me. (I'm an odd girl, I know.)

But now I'm curious, WHAT happened to the Stackhouses? (The parents.) And why does Sookie NOT have a blood type and her brother does.(Though he's AB- one of the most rare blood types.)

Oh man..why was the eppy so short! Sunday can't get here fast enough!

OK, one more post.

But having just watched the episode again. . . possibly the worst part of the dream/coma world was how decidedly awkward the presumably-supposed-to-be-ethereal dancing and movement was supposed to be. Particularly on the part of Anna Paquin. You could practically see her thinking hard about "floaty arms! light steps!" Girl is not graceful, is what I'm saying there.

But you're right, JessicaLovejoy. Pretty dresses. Nice lighting. And it sure does make me want to know more.

Meanwhile, filling the role of "people whose jobs I want this week" is the gal who plays Hadley. How much is scale, exactly, to be nuzzled and groped (seriously, hands in friendly places!) by ASkars and how many times do you think I'd be allowed to accidentally cough or sneeze or blink so they'd have to do another take before I'd get fired?

I loved this episode. The show has been seriously upping the ante every episode. I thought fairy world was odd, but it was intriguing still. Cluadine saying "the darkness is coming" while Bill was approaching was amazing and "he will steal your light" was actually exactly on point to thier relationship. Bill literally hushes her everytime she tries to speak when others are around and sucks out the best things about her character.

Us not hearing what Hadley told Eric was soo annoying but i guess will create optimum shock value when he inevitably tells Sookie (im assuming it has to do with her fairy blood and/or Bill's deception about seducing her to "procure her" for the queen).

But on a side note: this show makes me feel weird for finding Eric draining Hadley with his hand on her boob totally hot.

Lafayette and Tara continue to be feirce and hilarious and pretty much act as the greek choir of this show, always telling the truth.

Pam was awesome and so was Erics concern for her. I find it more endearing that he was more concerned about his child than a woman he just recently met and may have feelings for. Unlike Bill who couldnt care less about his child and runs everywhere with no plan screaming "SOOKEHHH" at every turn.

The dog fighting and pile of dogs was seriously disturbing and i *may* have broken into tears when they tossed that dog onto the pile. This show really doesnt hold back ever.

All in all im super excited to see the next few episodes as im sure the Magisters murder will push "The Authority" to the forefront of that story and well learn alot about the vamp hierarchy.

They totally cut a lot of this episode. There were several things in the previews last week that didn't show up this week.

Anyway, Mallory, really, you're worried about cheesiness on True Blood NOW? I mean, come on. Fairyland is just the natural progression in this show's neverending quest to be terrible, awesome, cheesy, and cheesy-awesome all at once.

Sam turns into a BEAUTIFUL pit bull. But, yeah, most of that part was really, really hard to watch, especially the shooting the dogs. But it's important that people remember that that's what dog fighting is about. He was cute being all alpha with that Rottie, though.

This is totally OT from True Blood, but I just watched the latest What If from ABC Daytime and it was really good as was last weeks.

Maybe you need to blog about them again.

As always I loved True Blood last night. My girl Tara was really pumped up on the V wasn't she? The way she threw bill over her shoulder than tossed him in the back of the truck. My favorite line was when they were escaping in the truck and Alicid swurved to run over one of the wolves Tara said "Did you just...." and he answered "Yeah" lol I loved it! Also the way Tara kicked Bill out of the truck had me cheering. Summer and her biscuts need to go! Sadly there was no Franklin in this episode but you know ole crazy fangs is just around the corner and I for one can't wait. I am so hoping that Franklin and Lettie Mae have a scene together that would be two scoops of crazy! lol. Also when Sam said "And I though Tara's mother was F@cked up" loved it! They really ticked me off with the shorter episode but, I had to admit that the montage of Bill and Lorianne sick love was amusing. Can't wait till next week!

Sam is not the Pit Bull, that's his brother Tommy. Sam is a beautiful Collie or Collie X.

@Shadow Claw Last night Sam turned into a Pit Bull so that he could sneak into the dog fights!

Shadow for this ep Sam was a ADORABLE Pit Bull to infiltrate the dog fighting and one of Al Sweregen's men from Deadwood was the guy who grabbed him up and put him in the kennels.
Tara is amazing. Just utterly She-Hulk levels of awesome.
I'm kinda hoping that the hints we're getting that Tara/Lafayette's bloodline has something going on it which if not properly harnessed leads to madness come to fruition, that would explain a lot about them. Plus, hopped up on V or not, Tara should not have been able to take both Debbie and Bill out, maybe one but not both and this isn't the first time we've seen Tara pull off physical feats she shouldn't have, even before Franklin showed up she was about to beat those rednecks' butts, Franklin just sped the process along.

Another great episode! Laughing at Mary Beth's comment about Eric/Hadley. :) During the dogfighting scenes, I had to remind myself again and again that no dogs were actually being hurt. So difficult to watch those scenes.

I hate to nitpick, but it's Lorena, not Lorianne. Also, this episode was one of my favorites!! SO PISSED that it was cut short.

I love Denis O'Hare, too! What a great addition to the show. I can't figure out whether to find him hilarious or terrifying.

And Franklin, I refuse to believe is actually gone, he'll be back. I adore him. I really love a lot of the new characters this season, aside from Crystal, whom I find pretty boring, too

Interestingly, I find Ryan Kwantan's southern accent much more natural and believable than anyone else's on the show, and I believe he's Australian? Definitely underrated. He's a blast, love his scenes with Andy

Also: Joe Manganiello is tall, dark, and amazing, and not even a jumpsuit can hide how sexy he is. Rawr.

Just wanted to add that Sophie-Anne's comment, given in a bored tone, after the pronouncement was awesome. "I'm so happy I could bleed."

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