Sundays In The Park With Nutbar

This show makes so many mistakes, in epic ways and on a daily basis, and really, this is not the biggest mistake that they have made lately. It probably isn't even in the top ten. But it IS on my mind at the moment: General Hospital dropped the ball so badly by not letting Lisa Niles reside at 1313 Whackadoo Lane much earlier. Because she continues to delight me as a crazy person and now I feel guilty about all of the times I complained about Brianna Brown's lack of charisma. I sort of want to write her an apology note! She's not uncharismatic; she's actually unnervingly good at playing a weirdo. Perhaps I'll leave that part out of the apology note...

I mean, if you think about it for more than thirty seconds, it becomes harder to unabashedly enjoy Patrick, Robin and Lisa starring--no, starring's not the right word. People not in mob stories aren't allowed to "star" in anything on this show. Okay, revision: it becomes harder to unabashedly enjoy Patrick, Robin and Lisa being afforded a random amount of screentime every week to appear in Bob Guza's version of Fatal Attraction (the latest in his ongoing series "This one time, I saw an old movie on TBS while I was flicking the channels and I thought 'We could do that better. And more Jason Morgan-y, too'"). Because watching these scenes makes me think things like, "This would be even better if they...." or "It doesn't really make sense that she..." or "Wouldn't it have been better if..." and so on and so forth.

The answer, then, is just to stop thinking. Because I need this story, you guys. I cling to this story like I'm drowning in the sea of despair that is General Hospital and it is a crazy-eyed life jacket. It is what gives me the will to fast forward all things Sonny and make it through the pointless (pointless SQUARED, even) Nikolas and Brook Lynn thing (REALLY, was there nothing else deserving of that screentime?). It makes me cackle like Vanessa Marcil.

Lisa: Okay, as usual, Robin, you are completely overreacting, all right? You see that big building over there? It's General Hospital. It's where I work, and sometimes I've been known to take breaks and walk through the park to get a lemon ice. All right? I heard raised voices. I became concerned. I came over. I took a look, and what do I find? You making a spectacle of yourself again. (Sotto voce) It's so unattractive.

Lisa: Okay, people, clearly my presence isn't helping, so I am going to go. Can I get either of you a lemon ice? Okay. I guess not.

Besides being hilarious, this pleasant offer of a lemon ice is notable for the epic "WTF?" face that Kimberly McCullough debuted. It may rival even Becky Herbst!

Glorious.

Comments

[Rebekah]

I love that I can now watch the Lisa/Patrick/Robin scenes! I had been ff-ing through them for so long it was giving me carpal tunnel!

Whackadoo Lisa is my new favorite character.

[anonymous]

Didn't you notice how many "okay's" or "alrights" you have to type in one piece of dialogue for Lisa? Is that part of the crazy? It just annoys me.

[Marie]

Mallory, I was waiting for you to post something about this awesome scene! I even chuckled when Patrick offered his lame, "I know for a fact that Lisa comes here to buy lemon ices," or some nonsense like that. I'm surprised he didn't begin that statement with "let the record reflect..."

[anonymous]

I usually agree with your take and I will say that the Scrubs FA story is currently the best one on the show, but I totally disagree with you on Brianna Brown. Although she is more interesting as a crazy person, that is because of the great dialogue (I can't believe I am actually saying that!) and because of the crazy situations they are putting her in. Brianna Brown continues to spit out her dialogue, has annoying acting tics with the constant "alright" "you know" "I mean" in every line she utters. She is the total weak link in the story.

Can you imagine this role in the hands of someone like Cynthia Preston, Cynthia Watros, Kimberlin Brown and others?

[Michelle]

Anonymous #2 I couldn't agree more!

Brianna Brown isn't doing this story the justice it deserves. I know that show runners want us to make Lisa the woman you love to hate (a la those you've listed in your comment) but really, I just hate her. She's whiny and annoying and brings zero enjoyment to the story outside of mockery. There isn't a single redeemable quality to the character or the performer, so much so that if she were to remain on the show I'd add her to the very LONG list of those characters I fast forward through without question.

I'm not so patiently waiting for the day that we get sprung from the jail that is her presence. Death for this character can't come soon enough.

[LisaNeedstolearnhowtospeakherlinesFF]

I think the FA storyline is by far the best that GH has to offer right now. That being said the only people selling it are Kimberly and Jason. The realism they bring to their characters is amazing . The reveal scenes were so powerful they both should be handed the emmy today. BBr is the true weak link in the story. The "umms" "okays" "alrights" are so grating that I almost have to FF scrubs scenes because of her. It's so sad because this story could have been off the charts with a competent actress. Oh well. I'll just sit back and wait and dream of different death scenarios for Lisa.

[Amy]

I think all 3 actors are doing a great job on this storyline, I don't think it'd be a must-see storyline if they weren't.

[GJB]

IA with you Michelle. even though scrubs FA story is the most interesting story on this crap show right now, I still HATE the character of lisa. she has NO redeemable qualities what so ever I just straight up HATE the bitch. as for the actress, she's o.k shes not great but she's also not completely horrible. What's making this story interesting IMO is the FANTASTIC acting between Kimberly and Jason, specially the BEYOND FANTASTIC acting from Kimberly. I will say it again, she BETTER get an Emmy for this because she is just soooo damn great in EVERY SINGLE SCENE. I will always hate the fact that they had Patrick cheat on Robin with that crazy ass not even cute bitch but I'm glad for Kimberly and Jason that they FINALLY not only get some good material but also AIRTIME!! I want scrubs back together EVENTUALLY but I really don't want a quick fix after all this. I want Patrick to work for it and for them to really tackle there issues but I also want a separetion for them to give each other space after all this. and most importantly, that crazy ass bitch better DIE after this. I mean it.

[bianca]

"Can you imagine this role in the hands of someone like Cynthia Preston, Cynthia Watros, Kimberlin Brown and others? " I can speak about the latter two, since I've never seen either actress play less than sane, however I am a fan of Cynthia Preston's crazy-ass Faith. She was at least written smart enough to think to use a serious injury as a cover for her stalking. I could totally see her hopping from dark corner to dark corner on her crutches, clutching her poisoned ring, while spying on Robin and Patrick.

"What's making this story interesting IMO is the FANTASTIC acting between Kimberly and Jason, specially the BEYOND FANTASTIC acting from Kimberly. I will say it again, she BETTER get an Emmy for this because she is just soooo damn great in EVERY SINGLE SCENE." Amen,this is the first time in 4 years that their fighting has been mature and sincere, and I don't have the urge to fast forward or vomit. The physicality of Robin's rage has been so real, I start to sympathetically vibrate with her instead of my usual desire to slap her. Jason Thompson has always been able to impressively switch to unsympathetic douche-mode, with a level of brattiness that always makes me wonder why I like him when he's charming (he's just that good). This time, at least so far, they are reserving his typically annoying excuses for their fake fights. Their real fights, thankfully, show a man who has matured even if he had to do something stupid to realize it.

[< 3]

Aside from the ridiculous start to this story (Robin suddenly decides to go to Africa, and Patrick suddenly decides that a few beers make Lisa a desirable replacement because Robin went to Africa), I have really been enjoying it. I do think Brianna Brown is better at playing crazy than playing... whatever it was she was supposed to be before (most lame party girl ever?). But I think there is a big difference between legitimately good acting and improvement over the giggling, stuttering, unimpressive performance of the past. I'm hopeful that she will keep getting better, because it would be a shame to have decent writing, great performances from the other actors, and yet not be totally blown away by the crazy girl.

[Veronica]

Lisa offering Scrubs lemon ices was funny as well as Robin's WTF look. But Robin punching Lisa on Tuesday is the scene I had to rewind the most. I don't like or need the violence on this show but that was a damn good sucker punch. Robin being enraged enough to throw a punch is classic. LOL

[Rosemary]

meh......Brianna Brown is barely capable, imo. She's getting pretty good dialogue and still isn't all that convincing to me. Also, her constantly saying "okay", "alright" every two words is soooooo annoying.

I do agree that Kimberly and Jason, especially Kimberly are ROCKING this story.

[Darcy]

I like Kimberly and sometimes Jason in this storyline I'm with you I'm just glad to see them and IMO this has been the only story I've tuned in to see in a very long time. yes there are gaping holes in some spots for me but overall its interesting.

My favorite was Robin punching her...unfortunately it wasn't wise thing to do but I didn't care just punch her lights out.

[callie]

i completely agree. brianna brown is dong a fantastic job as a psycho. her delivery is perfect. without her performance the story wouldnt be near as entertaining as it is now.

[Marianne]

I'm almost for them making Lisa a recurring-psycho, sort of like Helena, or Janet on AMC-Robin and Patrick's kind of permanent nemesis. I haven't been feeling JT's performances so much the last couple of weeks, but I think that's b/c, surprisingly and (I'm sure) accidentally, the WOMEN are getting the best dialogue, and situations, in this s/l. Kimberly has been awesome, channeling Robin's inner-Anna-I always knew there was that side to her character, and I'm really enjoying it. I sincerely hope, while Robin's in slash-and-burn mode, she throws a little of it Patrick's way-and not just as part of some dumbass plan, either.

And I have to agree w/Mallory: Brianna Brown=AWE.SOME. at crazy, sucky at....everything else, lol. But that's okay-her one-note just happens to be the note she was hired to play, which almost never happens on GH, so I think we should all celebrate them....not fucking up, I guess, lol-FOR ONCE.

And seriously-I want a line of coffee cups and t-shirts and, like, postcards that feature Kimberly's and Becky's WTF?! faces and Cam's bitchface. I'd own 3 of each!

[Beckye]

I haven't been watching this storyline. (We have antenna t.v. and ABC is a stretch) But isn't Robin's Uncle Mac the freaking police chief? Why wouldn't they call him? And I imagined Anna and Robert (Robin's parents)the super spies could easily kidnapped Lisa and dropped her off in like Newfoundland or some obscured place. The character of Robin has disapponted me for about seven years now and I wish the writers return to the origins of the character.

[Kay]

I agree with Marianne, Brianna Brown is one-note, but her one note is pretty damn entertaining. She doesn't have the range or depth of a Sarah Brown or Kimberlin Brown, and she's not quite as badass as Cynthia Preston or Constance Towers, so I don't know how much staying power she would have as a regular character because Lisa isn't really interesting as anything other than flat out crazy, but right now she is cracking me up.

Of the 3 actors in the story, I'd say I've been most impressed with KMc because she's shown me the most range and emotion, but I'd put BBr in there with JT right now.

[veve]

can someone please tlel me how TC still has a job? anyone? he brings nothing to the show and can be easily cut out and you would even realize nik the prik wasnt on. is fron's hard on for him still going strong? NL was the one always use dto prop hi mand shes producing movies now and has moved on from this show. why must we suffer through the horrible sex scenes that are to come from the nik/brook pairing?

[Jennifer]

I think JT, KMc, and BBr are doing a great job, IMO.

[LadyBug]

Veve -- Rumor has it that JFP is a fan of TC's...

[Paula]

Besides the "Fatal Attraction" references. Nikolas and Brooke seem to be remaking "Pretty Woman." And today Johnny quoted a line from "As Good As it Gets" - "Sell crazy someplace else".

[veve]

LADYBUG i realzied that a long time ago. its funyn becuase they always had nl paired alonside tc even though it wasnt working like last year for example. but JFP hated her. I swear if I have to see anothe rone of Nik's sleazy sex scenes. eew. Can they please bring back CSM? he was so much better in the role

[Judy]

Mallory, thanks once again for your funny, funny comments! You always make me laugh out loud!