We're Sending Our Love Down The Well

After taking Lisa by surprise and hitting her, leading to an amusingly flail-y fall, Robin took off running through the woods. Her off-screen trek took about three seconds before it was ended by a scream accompanying her tumble down a well.

Down a well.

On the one hand, these well-related hijinks will allow me to use "Well, well, well" as a framing device for this post; provided the perfect opportunity to reference a classic Simpsons episode; and are setting up Robin's vision of Stone, complete with a return by Michael Sutton, that I am already TERRIFIED about. Really, some people go to horror movies for scares, but I tune into General Hospital. Will Robin/Stone scenes be amazing in a way that their history deserves, or will they be torched in slow motion as I stand by, powerless? Again, TERRIFIED.

But on the other hand: A WELL. This family winds up in the silliest near-death situations.

Well...Lisa is a stone cold bitch.

We all knew that bitch crazy, but it also turns out that bitch bitchy.

Lisa: You know, I don't think you ever grew up. I think you were always old. Always this little old lady judging everyone around you, scolding them if they don't live up to your standards of excellence and decorum. And I have to admit that when I first came to Port Charles, it mystified me, why everyone defers to you. Like, where does this authority come from and how did you get put on a pedestal so high that you feel qualified to look down on everybody else?
Robin: Maybe you feel looked down upon because you're a slut who's been trying to seduce a married man.
Lisa: It's an ordinary sin, Robin. It happens all the time. You know, people work together, they get a little too familiar. One thing happens and an affair ends up manifesting. And yes, it is uncomfortable but it's not the end of the world. Unless, of course, the scorned wife is the sainted Robin Scorpio and that's what raises a garden variety infidelity to the level of grand tragedy, because you have HIV. Which, of course, is the answer to the mystery I just mentioned: why everyone defers to you. And now that I think about it, that's how you got Patrick in the first place.

Lisa: We both know how much Patrick loves a challenge. And you, with your snotty little attitude, was like a red flag for him. I mean, he had to just flirt with you and get you to sleep with him, and he couldn't just back down when he found out that you had HIV. That would be bigoted! Prejudiced!

I'm sorry, what? I attempted to analyze that line of reasoning, but it was all crazy melded with offensiveness and I had to give up.

Lisa spent a lot of today monologuing about Robin and Patrick, and the myriad ways that Robin has ruined Patrick and how irrational Robin is. Like...a lot of today. Don't get me wrong, I am always grateful for an episode of GH that gives the non-mob stories more than eight minutes of screentime, but it sort of distracted me, because I kept assuming that each scene would be the last scene of this story that we'd get until, like, Thursday.

Brianna Brown continues to play a nutbar with complete gusto. She's definitely selling the whole "The crazy is always the last to know about his/her deranged mental state" aspect of the story; you can so plainly see how much Lisa believes the ridiculous story she's concocted. And her monotone "Robin? What are you doing?" after Robin took off was so flat and emotionless that it made me laugh (and made me think of Willy Wonka's bland "Help. Police. Murder" after the group lost Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That's a compliment, Brianna Brown!). And Kimberly McCullough is right there with her, reacting with a variety of "Nutty ho say what?" facial expressions and some well-timed zingers that fell on deaf, deranged ears.

(Also, back at the hospital, Steve and Patrick discussed this escapade in hushed, serious tones; it seemed like Scott Reeves and Jason Thompson were having a contest to see who could be raspier. It reminded me of Jack Donaghyand Devon Banks except, you know...on a crappy show.)

Well...I am even fast-forwarding Brenda scenes.

WHY, GENERAL HOSPITAL? Why can't I have nice things? Why can't the return of my all-time favorite soap character be a reason for celebration? Why is she stuck in Rome, in such a silly story? And why does she talk about Sonny so damn much?

Brenda: It will help me to know that he's happy. It will help me move on. I need to know if someone else has made him happy.

You know what makes ME happy? Not having to hear about the wants and needs of Sonny Corinthos. Hence my often sour-disposition and reliance on the fast-forward button.

And speaking of!

Well...VOMIT.

Sonny: There's one thing we got to figure out, though.
Claire: What's that?
Sonny: What's what? Couch or bed?

1. Gross.

2. Maurice Benard's performance in today's episode could be submitted as his reel for the "What the fuck language is that?" awards. It was a showcase of all of his worst tics and a staggering inability to get a sentence out in less than a full minute.

3. Gross.

4. Carly's enjoyment of the trainwreck that is this pairing was practically delightful, but it was marred by the fact that it was probably the fiftieth (I'm guessing...and rounding down) time we've watched people have a conversation about Sonny using Claire as a distraction. And it was also, perhaps irreparably, marred by the unfortunate event taking place on Laura Wright's head.

 
5. Gross.

Comments

[M]

An unfortunate event on LW's head indeed, Mallory!!

[Marianne]

What was UP w/her hairdo?! I kept getting distracted and missing the first part of the next Robin-scene, just puzzling over that.....hairstyle?

FLOVE how Kimberly McCullough is playing Robin like, "Ok, bitch crazy, crazy bitch spouting crazy shit-now, how the hell do I get out of here?"

And it's kind of hilarious that you used the line from that Simpsons epi., b/c my husband happened to be home watching w/ me, and he was like, "Is she down a WELL?! Ah ha ha ha ha!" But, you know, he doesn't actually laugh all creepy like "ha ha ha"-I just don't know any other way to type what he actually did. ANY-WAY....he starts swaying back and forth, waving his hands in the air, and singing the song from that epi.-"We're sending our love down the well...(falsetto) down the wellll!" Classic.

And while we're on the subject of Steve-um, dude, do you believe Robin or Lisa or neither or what...cause I'm confused. One day, he was like, "Lisa's obviously obsessed w/you and nuts", and then, today, he's like, "Lisa's not nuts"-and I'm just thinking it's not really an ambiguous issue, and he kind of HAS to pick a side at some point. Seriously, you'd think the writers would, I don't know, TALK TO EACH OTHER occasionally!

[LadyBug]

If Robin did NOT have HIV, Guza would have whored her out by now. I can just see Guza salivating at the thought of Patty boy/Robin/Matt. Or, Jax/Robin/Nicholas, or, Jason/Robin/Sonny....you name it, Guza would have done it in a heartbeat!

[anonymous]

I had to fast forward through Lisa's dialogue. I was completely bored. I'm glad you could sit through it and type up the dialogue. Guess I didn't miss much by FF it. I wish Brianna Brown would play Lisa in a way that would give me chills and not in a way where I roll my eyes and reach for the remote.

[GJB]

I FLOVE Kimberly Mccullough! she's rocking this story (despite the many wholes it has; really Dick Guza a well???) I really, really, truly hope to God that evil Guza DOES NOT fuck up the Robin and stone history by destroying the scenes between them that are coming up. That storyline is one of the most important powerful story lines I have ever seen and is the reason why I respect Kimberly's skills as an actress so much. he's already working overtime almost completely ruining Brenda for me. his ass BETTER not ruined my only good history of GH. I love Jason Thompson as well, he's doing a great job as well. I want scrubs together...eventually. but I want to see actual WORK and re-built up and no easy fix.

[Carlee]

"Seriously, you'd think the writers would, I don't know, TALK TO EACH OTHER occasionally!"-Marianne

Ding! Ding! Ding! This would solve a lot of problems.

Ok so the writers have no say in what goes on storyline wise, but they seem to disagree on where some characters are coming from which makes it quite a jarring viewing experience if you watch day to day. Steve and Matt change their minds literally from day to day.
I get they need conflict in every scene I guess to propel storylines, which always seems to leave one unfortunate character lecturing another in the most tedious way, while the former looks on incredulously at the uncharacteristic crap coming out the other one's mouth. It's just tiresome. But maybe that's the genre... I don't remember. This is the only soap I'm watching at the min after a long break.

[Tabby]

Man I just don't know about Carly's hair. It's like something from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

[dree]

Back in my day, the bad guys would administer truth serum to get people to spill whatever info they needed - so I was confused that Brenda got shot up with heroin. Or maybe I missed something in my not-caring.

[Janet]

While watching the otherwise enjoyable crazy Lisa scenes I found myself totally distracted by why Lucky was talking in that awful Irish accent when he and Dante were lurking amongst the crates. If it was to keep his cover that was dumb because they were talking about him NOT being Ronan O'Reilly so it's not like anyone would have been fooled by the accent if they overheard. Love how Brianna Brown is playing crazy and glad you mentioned her "amusingly flail-ly fall" because that was hilarious the way her hands flapped!

[Veronica]

"Well...Lisa is a stone cold bitch.

We all knew that bitch crazy, but it also turns out that bitch bitchy."

Yep. But I think they've been writing Lisa as a psychopathic personality for months now, which is a high functioning, evil kind of crazy, and she can be quite clever at not getting caught because being a surgeon, she naturally has a high IQ. The likes of Franco, Faith and Jerry have nothing on her.

You don't realistically redeem those types. So either she's here for a while as a villain or they eventually kill her off.

[Mike]

Once again, for the record, Brenda moved on beyond Sonny years ago. Remember? Writers? Guza, you were there. It was Jax, she loved Jax, Sonny was important to her but she had moved on!

And please, what is it about Sonny that any woman finds attractive? The mumbling, the black tees, the shiny hair, the dark dark tan, the constant cocky attitude, or is it the out of control screaming and throwing things, or the killing? All of which Claire (and any woman in PC) has seen. So what the hell about ANY of that do women find too much to resist, so hot, so romantic that the only sensible thing for them to do is sleep with him? What is it? Please, tell me.

[Alina Adams]

Would it be horribly un-PC (ha! a Port Charles pun!) of me to say that Lisa's monologue summarized exactly how I've felt about Robin since she was 7 years old (pre-HIV) and post? How I, at the age of all of 12/13, sat stupified in front of my TV going, "Did that 7 year old girl just pick up a phone at GH and call three adults, Frisco, Sean and Buzz to hop on over because she says they need to talk? And they DID? HOW did she get so much power?"

It was a slightly older me who sat in front of the TV wondering, "I realize she is Robin and all, but she just came into the ER covered in blood - they don't know it's Jason's - would someone... anyone... care to put on a pair of gloves? Or does she have a special kind of HIV?"

And the answer to why you don't get to enjoy your favorite character ever coming back to GH is because... we Robert/Holly fans didn't get to, why should you????

[Jean]

Mike,
I'm female and I don't get the Sonny thing either. I can't stand him at all. A boring and lifeless character.

[Beth R.]

Mike..I too am at a loss as to why all the women in Port Charles loose their minds over Sonny. Maybe his much praised marinara sauce is laced with drugs? Otherwise I got...nada.

So Emma's been stuck in a tree. Robin's fallen down a well. Does this mean for Christmas Patrick will get stuck in the chimney? Seriously the writers are just playing Mad Libs and submitting that as a script right?

[Rene']

Sonny must have one heck of a big "machine gun" is my only guess.

[kelly]

lisa's random ramblings were kinda hilarious. It was like the stream of bat shit crazy thought waves that have no censor. I actually watched those scenes cuz what she was saying was so oddly and utterly hilarious. And Robin's facial expressions ROCKED (BTW? Is it just me or does Robin look more busty in that outfit??? Or am I a perv.) And I think the actress that plays Lisa is having a total ball with this role. How often are you told to be the biggest hambone in a soap chock full of ham!!! And unlike sonny she can fit an entire silioquay into her scenes where as sonny can say 2 sentences max and they are usually "Die Johnny" "Must screw Claire." I hope they don't kill Lisa. She can just go around and be the resident bat shit crazy homewrecker. Next up JaSam! Jason will be rethinking how high maintance Brenda is after he gets a whiff of Crazy Pants Lisa.

[Marianne]

I'm sorry, Kelly, but at this point, I want Lisa to transfer her affections to someone who TRULY deserves them-like Carly and Jax. OMG, she and Carly in the same s/l, and against each other-that's like the Crazy Ass Bitch Heavyweight Championship, lol! Who to root for, who to root for...

[tish]

Carly and Lisa-- I might be able to get behind that match up.

GH writers do you watch or remember anything from the past few years--like last time Brenda was on???? Why does Claire have any attraction towards Sonny??? What I am missing???

Thanks for the blog-- enjoy it so much.

I love KMC-- Robin has been great and I am so hoping Stone and Robin's reunion is memorable in a good way not in the Rick Webber let's trash your character way...

[cathy]

I'm so over Lisa. I am tired of Alright and OK's ALL the time. You would think GH would realize it. Lisa is not the love to hate character just the hate character that you want to go away.

Forget GH continuity. Did anyone notice that Emma's bear was brown and when Patrick held her in his arms she has a different color bear or animal.

Let's get to the heart of the story, the rebuilding of Robin and Patrick. Figures the Drake's get a beautiful bedroom and now they are apart.

[Cindy]

@Alina I'm with you. I've never been a Robin fan. I didn't watch the episode but from the dialogue in the post, at least the beginning of it, sums up what I've always thought about Robin.