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« Non-Mysterious Mysteries and the Joys of 1983 | Main | It's Like Middle School Again, But With Better Clothes and No Braces! »

October 06, 2010

Close the Deal, Eli!

Oh, was that not what we were supposed to yell out at the end of today's show when Eli pointed a loaded gun at Todd?  I get easily confused.

So today Ross finally found out that Eli isn't just his deeply flawed but loyal brother -- he in fact had Tea "killed" and had no intention of letting Ross keep his beloved daughter Dani.  In fact, Ross had enlisted Eli long ago to help him get custody back, and the only solution Eli could think of was to kill of Tea, give Dani to Ross, make Todd buy Dani back, and kill Ross.  Obviously.  Even though Evil Eli is all-knowing and all-seeing and totally, totally magic, this was the only solution.

But it didn't work out, so naturally he shot his brother.  Conveniently it was on a dock near the water.



Poor Li'l Ross.  Betrayed and shot by his own brother! And then tossed in the water.



Gone forever!  I mean, of course in that soap opera way of being "gone," meaning Totally Not Dead, or at least they haven't decided yet if they want to bring back the character so they're leaving it open-ended. 

Of course it was crumbs, but I did appreciate that Ross "left" as not a completely evil guy.  He just wanted his daughter back, just like Todd.  Right?  (I don't know.  I got a private message from a viewer the other day informing me that everything bad that's currently happening to anyone on this show is completely Blair's fault, so I don't know a damn thing, apparently, since that doesn't make a lick of sense to me.)

Oh but then!  Todd showed up and Eli pointed the gun at him, hotly.



Do it, Eli, do it!  Pull the trigger, close the deal! 

Yeah, I know.  I'm not new.  Todd will win, because he is such a complex anti-hero.  Cough, cough.


Meanwhile, stupid people did stupid things all around town.  Spectacularly, while Starr was pretending that she'd been keeping Ford-the-Middle's bullet-on-a-chain, the show actually leadenly winked at us that her argument to Natalie could apply just as easily to the possibility that Natalie is carrying her sister's fiance's child.  No, really!

Starr: Well yeah  mean not all the time... it just... sort of... happened?  I know it sounds weird but have you ever gotten stuck with something of some guy's -- you don't mean to end up with it but you do and you can't just throw it away

Natalie (knowingly, significantly): Yeah, actually I do.


And across town, Natalie's erstwhile rival Marty was leaving her confidential patient files out in the open in the home she now shares with a crazy person

A banner day in Llanview!



Poor Li'l Ross. Betrayed and shot by his own brother! And then tossed in the water.

Change Ross to AJ===i had a flashback!!

Tanya,good call! Totally a Jason-AJ betrayal call-back!

Remember when Eli hung Ross from a meat hook? Good times...

That person who sent you the message saying that Blair was the cause of everything bad in Llanview wasn't Ron Carlivati was it?

And man, Matt Walton... you magnificent bastard, you... even made me feel sympathetic towards brother-killin' Eli with his final words to Ross.

I was totally rooting for Eli to kill Todd, too. Alas, alack and woe... we know it won't happen.

Although, Todd was actually nice to Blair today. Surely that means the world is going to end, right?

Dandesun, I actually thought of you when I got that message, because I was thinking of hardcore Blair-supporters. I was looking at comments on one of those Facebook questions and it was something like, "When have you seen Todd so happy as he was when..." blah blah, Dani said she loved him, or something. And EVERYONE was all, "we heart Todd!" and I thought maybe I should throw in a comment for once to show dissent. Boy did I regret it. I made a joke like, "when he gave Jack away and said 'get rid of him'" and I got a personal message from someone saying that it was Blair's fault because she lied about paternity and this is Blair's fault because she brought Ross to town and... ugh. I don't know. I just hadn't even brought up her name, but all of a sudden she was possibly more evil than Eli. I just feel like I'm watching a different show from so many viewers. Oops!

Blair Cramer is not a freaking Saint! Blair and Todd have done a lot of damage over the years. Yes, Blair has grown since she screwed Max on her wedding day to Asa, and yes, she has done a lot of conniving along the way to marrying Toddy.

Ladybug, who is presenting Blair as a saint? The show seems to present her as a loser; the viewers seems to think she's still as scheming and hurtful as ever. I'm just so confused by what they're doing with her character now completely.

Not only is Blair not a saint but I wouldn't want her to be. But neither is she the root of all evil. There are plenty who like to paint her as the reason everyone suffers, as if Todd hasn't done his share of worse damage over the years. I mean, since when is lying about a baby's paternity reason to give said baby away and be told it was dead. Seriously!!

Not only that but Todd followed her ass to Mexico! She didn't force him there! Argh... I hated that story but the thing I hated most was that somehow it was all Blair's fault. She lied to keep his ass out of jail and again all her fault!

Forgive the rant. Louise, I do the same thing you do on those Facebook questions. I'm generally one of the ones talking crap about Todd, or the Fords. I guess I'll never see my quote on one of those 'People are talking about' commercials that have cropped up on Soapnet.

I wish that Eli hadn't been made completely evil so that he and Blair could just veer off into their own storylines and get away from Todd and Tea completely. Maybe then Blair would stop being the root of all evil... whatcha think?

I get the feeling Michael Lowry found out what was in store for Ross and "decided" to go to law school. Billy Warlock probably egged Lowry's house after shooting these scenes. Hopefully, Warlock was paid in cash because I wouldn't be accepting any checks from ABC these days.

Louise, I don't think Blair is a loser! I like Blair, she's just unlucky in love.

Oh I don't think she's a loser either, I just mean lately the show seems to make sure she always loses. The only men they've ever had totally adore her are serial killers, and she's duped by them. And what was that yesterday with her saying "It's all my fault!" about Dani? How in any way was one bit of anything her fault? I just can't stand the way they're using her right now. And truth be told, I think someone up there thinks what they're doing to her character is rehab.

I love how the only way to make Todd the "hero" is the bring in a villain who does evil things that don't make sense while Todd does evil things that make sense.

I don't really get Eli at all. Was all of this crap that we've been seeing for the past six months about money? Faking a woman's death? Deciding to sell a 17 year-old girl like she's a whore? Killing Melinda?!?! WTF! (Have the convoluted writers actually explained why Kelly's mother had to die? Because seriously...

As for the Starr comment to Natalie. That is just...wow. I'm assuming they just pick up random people on the street as writers...or ten year olds...or their pets. Can a cat get a membership to the WGA? Is that a union violation?

you did NOT just use the Ladies' 'hotly' moniker to describe Eli!?!?
take. it. back.


I'm still stuck on John saying that Eli and Ross staged everything in Tahiti. So they knew precisely how every little detail would happen? Really??? I can't...

I love Billy Warlock and enjoy seeing him, but he really needs to tell ABC to kick rocks.

LOL @ this being Blair's fault. I knew someone would blame her and not the person who allowed Ross to raise a child that she knew was probably not his, and only planned to tell the truth when she knew Todd loved her.

OK. I have come to the conclusion that there is really only one explanation for Eli and his convoluted conniving: He is sacrificing humans to the devil in order to get Mitch Lawrence out of jail so they can go rule the world with Carlo Hesser.

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