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« Don't Tell Todd the Babysitter's Dead | Main | Mounting A Complaint Against the Mountain Man »

October 11, 2010

Generally Hyperbolic

Just to make sure we're all on the same page (even though it's impossible that you could wind up on a different page, because even if you are watching the show on mute, facial expressions easily tell this story as well as dialogue can. The only way you could be on a different page is if you kicked this sorry excuse for a soap to the curb and if that is the case, you are not only on a different page, you are on a SMART page. And the more I type the word page, the more bizarre it seems), Brenda...

Is back in town.



And she is meant to be with Sonny.

And is better than you, pretty much, on account of the aforementioned awesomeness and gloriousness, and so on.

Look, I LOVE Brenda Barrett. She's probably my favorite soap character of all time. The only thing keeping me from being a card-carrying member of a Brenda Barrett fan club is the unfortunate lack of a membership card. So if even I, through rose-colored glasses with "I ♥ Brenda" emblazoned on the side in crystals, am filled with dread wondering just how far over-the-top with this stuff the writers can go...well, it says a whole lot about the GH writers and their ability to ruin EVERYTHING.

The woman of the hour/day/week/month/year/decade spent the day with Sonny and Dante, trying not to make her past with Dante (for now, the past is just that he once had a job protecting her.

Could their story go romantic? Who knows? What I do know for sure is that a story with Brenda, Dante AND Sonny is going to eat so much screentime that it will wind up taking up over All My Children and One Life to Live, too) obvious, and making excuses for Sonny's general wretchedness.

Dante: What's a little gunshot between father and son?
Sonny, with an impatient sigh: We're on opposite sides of the law. There's a connection, always was, with us. He doesn't like to admit it, I don't know, it's hard for him.
Dante: I was assigned to working undercover for Sonny, and when I tried to arrest him, he shot me. Right here.
Sonny: I'll tell you again, I regret that.
Dante: Not half as much as I did.
Brenda: Sonny would never do anything to hurt you.
Dante: Imagine what he could do if he actually tried?
Sonny: Okay, you know what? Things are much better now because he helped get me exonerated from the attempted murder charge.
Brenda: Well, that's great. Look, I've known your father for a very long time and he's not perfect, but he is a good man.


Meanwhile, everyone on this episode besides Luke and Siobhan's stupid hat talked about Brenda. And talked. And talked some more. EVERYONE! Even Lucky-as-Ronan got orders to kidnap Brenda.

Sam is insecure.

I'm used to Jason protecting people, you know? Me, Carly, Michael. It happens all the time. Brenda's just the same, except...she's a supermodel and his ex-wife. Lulu, that's the part I'm really struggling with.

Spinelli is a ridiculous, annoying caricature of a human being.

Spinelli: I have seen light, love and happiness.
Lulu: You're falling in love with Brenda?
Spinelli: One of the tenets of courtly love is utter devotion to an unattainable lady, and The Divine One sits high atop a throne of glorious unattainability. She has captured the Jackal's heart and made it whole again.

Carly is a hysterical, jealous she-beast.

Jason: Jax could have gone after Brenda any time, but he didn't. He married you. He's Josslyn's father. He's not going to give that up for Brenda.
Carly: He's not like you. She could work him. She's already trying, visiting the office, trying to reconnect as friends. I don't know how to fight her, you know? Because if I tear into her, she's going to play the victim, and if I throw down with Jax, he's going to say I'm pushing him away and he's going to turn to Brenda, so all I can do is show him what he stands to lose, and how many times can you have sex on a desk?

Maxie is...ditto.

It's about Brenda. She has to go. I don't care if you put her on a plan, a bus or dog sled. Whatever. Just get her out of Port Charles.

Lulu is blissfully ignorant of her boyfriend's past and her storyline's future.

Did you fall under Brenda's spell like every other man in the world?

And Robin left her damn fool mind at the bottom of that well, because she's all about reuniting Sonny and Brenda.

Jax: Why would you do that to Brenda?
Robin: I always thought they were good together.
Jax: Good? Really? Wow. She was shot at, and she was abducted and she suffered a nervous breakdown while she was with Sonny.
Robin: Jax, that was a long time ago.
Jax: Yes, and some things should be left in the past. She's made a good life for herself. She just got done telling me how much she loves living in Rome and doing her charity work. Why would you encourage a reunion with Sonny?
Robin: With all due respect, you're a little biased on the subject.
Jax: Yes, with good reason. I had a front row seat to their disastrous relationship for many years. If anyone knows, I know. She deserves better.
Robin: Isn't that Brenda's call to make?
Jax: If it is, her friends should be protecting her.
Robin: I'm--look, I know how much you care about Brenda, but I'm asking you as her friend: let her and Sonny figure it out for themselves.

I cannot even with this show.


And clearly Luke and Siobhan's stupid hat will talk about her tomorrow.

If Dante and Brenda weren't romantic at one point...I'll eat that stupid hat.

LOL@this show

I cannot even care that Luke is back. It's boring and the whole Spencer adventure thing is played out. Can we just FF to where Lucky finds out he has a son? They are ruining Brenda.

Also.. can we let Maxie and Spin just move on? Tired of the whole non husband jealousy crap. Let her grow up and have a mature relationship with Matt. Every time Spinelli shows interest in something else, Maxie drops whatever she's doing and intervenes. Let it be over for good. :[

Oh lord help me, I got sucked back by the Stone scenes (which were beautiful except for the total whitewashing of Jason out of Robin's life, which kinda had me going huh?)
I watched the lead up on youtube and scratched my head. Then figured, hey, if Robin has to get drugged and kidnapped by a psycho and run into a freakin well for me to get to see Stone, I'm cool with that.
Unfortunately, I did not stop. I kept watching and saw Robin run straight off to ship S&B to everyone. She was hauled all the way back from France to try to pick up the pieces after Brenda's Sonny-induced psychiatric hospitalization. Its not like she doesn't know the guy destroyed her 'sister.' And her shot at Jax that Brenda turns to him when she struggles with feelings for Sonny was totally uncalled for. So now I have GH-induced rage at the only character I have actually liked and defended no matter what for 15 years. Why, oh why, did I not stop at Stone. Guza you suck

Random story, but my mother, who had been a GH fan for 30 years, has finally declared the show dead to her. Was it Michael more or less declaring it was bad to hit a nice girl, but okay to hit a hooker? Sonny just not getting why Dante refuses to forget being shot? Brenda's cackling laugh?

No, it was Robin magically levitating her way out of the damn well. My dear 63 year old mother EXPLODED. I quote...

"Wha...wh...but, but, but...where's the rope? How'd he'd get her out without a rope? Why couldn't they at least just show a rope on the ground? WHERE IS THE DAMN ROPE?!?!"

It was glorious.

How come Robin hasn't gone home to see Emma?

I actually wouldn't mind Robin telling Jax to stay away from Brenda if she was doing this because of the way Jax treated Brenda the last time Brenda came back (publicly humiliating her and leaving her at the altar) and I do actually think that Brenda should be on better terms with Sonny right now than Jax given the way she left things with both men back then, but this blind pimping of Sonny & Brenda is a little too much. I'm just going to assume that Robin is still hopped up on pain meds and hope it never happens again.

I think I yelled at my TV today more than I ever have before. I am just FLABBERGASTED.

@Parallel: Your mom is awesome. I was wondering the exact damn thing. One minute, she was in the well, and the next, she was out. THE HELL???

I think I yelled at my TV today more than I ever have before. I am just FLABBERGASTED.

@Parallel: Your mom is awesome. I was wondering the exact same thing. One minute, she was in the well, and the next, she was out. THE HELL???

I don't even watch these shows anymore. I just follow them on this and othe blog sites and magazines. Anytime you guys mention that something good happened I check it out on youtube, otherwise I pass.

That being said, even I can tell that Brenda is being overly used on GH. Just go to daytimeconfidential.com and check out today's GH recap. Brenda's name is literally in EVERY paragraph. Not one thing happened that didn't feature Brenda or have someone talk about Brenda.

Side note: Didn't Guza say in an interview prior to Vanessa first air date that this WOULDN'T become "The Brenda Show"? If that is the case, then I can consider this an epic fail.

Given how much all of these shows tend to suck lately, I'm glad I don't watch them anymore. It makes my life a lot less stressfull and it makes my tv a lot less worried that I'm going to throw the remote at it in a fit of rage.

It was certainly a WTF day. Of course that's pretty much every day in PC. I try not to get too pissed but today was really...just crap.

Robin pimping out Sonny and Brenda was just...wrong. There is a statute of limitations on hurting someone? "Yeah dude...hi. I kind of almost killed you about ten years ago. Really why are you whining? That was so long ago?!"

Robin was really annoying today. Terribly annoying.

I wanted to laugh when people talked about how Spinelli wasn't acting like himself. Isn't Spinelli pretty much a cartoon character who swoons over any female that comes within his distance? First it was Lulu. Then it was Maxie. Now it's Brenda. How is it different now? He's still a pathetic joke as usual who stands by and allows people to be murdered and then pleads that it was inconvenient to have stopped said murder.

As for Brenda defending Sonny. That just was wrong. Apparently she is out there trying to stop predators from going after children and yet she defends the biggest one? Give me a break.

The only good thing that was remotely good was me vainly swooning over Dante looking adorable in his NYPD beat cop uniform. That's how pathetic this show is.

I read a Gossip item that said Dante and Brenda have some kind of secret in their past that they are covering up and it has to do with Dante doing something really wrong (don't want to say it in case it's not true or in case people don't want to know the spoiler). I have a sinking feeling Brenda is going to use that as leverage to get Dante to cover up the car bomb incident. We all know Sonny will never pay for any crime he commits, so he has to get out of it somehow.

I remember reading about how Brenda was going to rehabilitate Sonny because he'd sunk so low he was almost irredeemable, but all her return has done was add yet another Sonny apologist to a crowded bandwagon in Port Chuck.

I agree with Maxie...just get Brenda out of town, I don't care how. Dog sled would be great. I know she is popular but I was never a fan, and her acting style seems to be catatonia punctuated by cackling laughs and a lot of fussing with her hair. She has definitely taken over almost every aspect of GH.

MAYBE it's just me - but shooting a cop with intent to kill (whether you know it is your son or not) kind of disqualifies you as being able to be seen as a good person. And the fact that the show is actually trying to push that idea by having it come out of the mouth of the star heroine now ... speaks volumes for how low this show has fallen in quality.

And Robin trying to reunite her 'friend' with a mobster who regularly finds himself in a milieu of gunfire (or explosions; generally death) - well, personally, I would want to find a new friend. And let's not even address the fact that she is espousing this idea to probably the last person in town who needs to be told that Sonny and Brenda belong together (you were just a nice distraction Jax, now move along).

The Brenda worship on this show is over the top and ridiculously stupid. Brenda is about as 'Wonderful' as Ryan Lavery is. Yes, you read that right, I did just compare Brenda to Ryan Lavery on Serial Drama. I respect your opinion, but I've never cared for Brenda. Okay -- 'never cared for' is toning it down -- I think she's a brainless, useless lump of dingbat wrapped up in a pretty shiny bow in hopes of hiding her useless dingbattiness. I do not like her with Sonny. I do not like her with Jax. I do not like her in a boat, with a goat, in the rain, on a train, here or there or ANYWHERE! (All apologies to Dr. Seuss -- who I like better than Brenda.)

Having to hear every character talk about Brenda every second of the show makes me want to throw things. This is one of THE main reasons I tuned out of the cesspool of Ryan suckage that is AMC -- when it became "All Ryan Worship, All the Time".

You guys are usually spot on, and you're entitled to your opinions, but come on -- Brenda? I just don't get the appeal. I've seen random sticks that have fallen off of trees while walking in the park that have a more appealing personality.

Okay .. did Dante not grow up in Bensonhurst alongside Lois? He knows Lois/Ned's heinous offspring Brooklynn so his knowing Brenda seems like a no brainer .. and no brainers = Guza

grrr... this board and it's refusal to post my comments. I'm beginning to think it's a conspiracy y'all.

Anyway, lol at Valerie. Thanks for giving us your real feelings on Brenda, lol. I don't despise her quite as much as you do, but don't get her being appointed as Teh Awesomeness.

As for Robin, meh - when she has NOT been a Sonny apologist. And with last weeks reappearance of The Sainted One, well, I'm sure she'll be in rare Sonny ass-kissing mode for months to come.

All I know is that if I had a supposed BFF urging me to reunite with someone was literally used and abused me? I'd be looking for a new BFF.

Robin...get back in the well!!!

Team Lisa for the win!!!

Do the writers understand that character propping is NOT the same as character development?!?

My issue with Robin was that the conversation with Jax wasn't even WARRANTED. She has not seen Jax and Brenda interact since Brenda came back. Hell Brenda only saw Jax for the first time the day before. Brenda did not discuss Jax when they talked. Jax has not talked to Robin about Brenda lately so her just randomly showing up at his office to ask him to back off was just OVER THE TOP STUPID. Jax had not done one thing (yet) for Robin to think he was a threat to Brenda and Sonny. And as much as I despise Jasper Jax for what he did Brenda at the alter (and then treated her like a whore afterwords)he is dead on right about the trainwreck that was Brenda and Sonny. Robin had a front row seat to that as well. Why she would like to see that replayed is beyond me.

I love Vanessa, I loved Brenda but seriously? it's like six degrees of Brenda separation. she's like connected to EVERYONE on that hell hole show. I knew that SOB guza would find a way to destroy Brenda for me. I was hoping with everything I had that he wouldn't but the SOB went and did it. And don't get me started on the whole he's not even respecting or recognizing the truly best BFF friendship IMO in that shows recent history. He's a truly asshole. He has Brenda connected to everyone but yet noone. she's like supposed to be the best thing in the world. and worse, he has Robin pimping Brenda to Sonny and Sonny to Brenda.... he just is EVIL. as if Robin doesn't have enough REAL drama in her life. Instead of having Brenda be a idk FRIEND to Robin, he has poor Robin looking like an ass because he has her going to Sonny's and pimping Brenda to him and going to Jax's and telling him to back off the "wonderfulness" that is Brenda and Sonny?? Instead of having her GO HOME TO HER DAUGHTER??? WTF IS WRONG WITH THAT DICK GUZA???? I seriously am convinced he was dropped on the head as a child cause he is NOT NORMAL. And I feel bad for us who still watch this crap, the actors who have to portray this crap, and most importantly the history of this show which is being DESTROYED.

It's almost like they noticed the kudos that KMC was getting for her storyline and Guza just had to ruin the idea for anybody to keep giving her positive feedback. It makes no sense for Robin to be such a shitty friend.

Mallory, did Carly REALLY say "so all I can do is show him what he stands to lose, and how many times can you have sex on a desk?" Because if she did, that is AWESOME!

Now you leave my Brenda alone (lol)! She's my favorite soap heroine of all time rivalled only by AM's Kendall Hart. Sadly I cannot commit to watching the drek that is General Hospital for her return; but I'm glad the writers are worshipping her this time around, I think they've done her a disservice so many times in the past - especially when she loses out to Carly. I need to turn in just for the day Carly's head does a 360 degree turn because of her at least LOL...

I cannot believe that Patrick is feeling guilty for a lunatic. His wife comes out of the well and he feels guilty for a lunatic, instead of going with his wife to hospital. If that wasn't bad enough, today Patrick blames himself for what happened to Robin AND a colleague. Really Patrick, you feel guilty for a colleague who had your wife in a well and played you all along. ALL Patrick's guilt shoud be for ROBIN ONLY!

I agree w/you, Cathy-and, sadly, I agree w/the rest of you about Robin's actions regarding Sonny and Brenda. Seriously? I could keep my incredulity at bay for the trying to put Sonny and Brenda back together thing, b/c of the Stone connection, and I could KINDA, SORTA see her point about when Sonny did all those things he was mentally ill, but didn't know it and was not on meds, and NOW he does know he has the illness and he IS taking meds so maybe it would be different this time....look, I told y'all it was a STRETCH, lol.

But, yesterday and today, when she went to see Jax? I was off that ship faster than a rat on the Titanic! First of all, she and Jax have ALWAYS been friends-do you not remember, you useless lump of meat masquerading as a human being named BOB, when you made Robin reveal ANOTHER fucking paternity secret, about Spencer, and she was conflicted about RETURNING A KIDNAPPED BABY TO HIS RIGHTFUL FATHER-BECAUSE OF HER FRIENDSHIP W/JAX? I have 3 children and I've lost 7 family members in 2 years time, and I STILL have the sense about me to remember shit you wrote from 4 years ago-why don't YOU? And then you have her march in there unsolicited and unnecessarily to "warn" Jax off Brenda-WHA-WHY WOU-IS SHE-THE FUCK?! And for Robin to make a comment that was so downright...well, bitchy (my RFF heart broke just a little having to use that word in connection w/my girl)-"I'm not surprised. Brenda always turns to you when she's feeling conflicted about her feelings for Sonny." Okay, now, Jax deserved that a BIT for the way he left Brenda at the altar and treated her like shit-when I will remind him that ONE of their weddings was called off NOT b/c of Sonny (well, not technically, anyway)but b/c he had a wife he never mentioned that his family had "killed"-only not so much! But for ROBIN to say that to Jax....that was just SO. NOT. ROBIN.!

And I'm not as stupid as Guza and his writing team-I get WHY she is saying this shit. She has 25 years of history on this show, on and off, and she has a HUGE fanbase-and GH has ALWAYS used that to pimp Sonny and what a "truly good man at heart" he is. Even during Claire Labine's reign-have we all forgotten that tiny little teenage Robin was one of the avenues by which Sonny was redeemed after HE GOT KAREN HOOKED ON DRUGS? And after he ALL BUT beat Brenda after finding the wire on her, he was so there for she and Stone that how could anyone stay mad at him? And then, when Robin WAS hauled back from France to help Brenda after the nervous breakdown, she spent HALF her time, at least, talking about how "it wasn't really Sonny's fault" (if I'm remembering my GH history correctly)? But the thing is, Claire Labine knew the definition of the word "subtlety", and she knew how to make HER propping at least PLAUSIBLE and, you know, IN HARMONY W/THE OTHER S/L'S GOING ON AT THE TIME, Guza, you moronic PRICK!

And it's just CONTINUED under Guza's reign-only NOW, it's so freakin' hamfisted and OBVIOUS, and completely out-of-synch w/the rest of the s/l's-perhaps the Jax and Robin conversation wouldn't have appeared so "WTF?!" today had they, I don't know, SHARED A CONVERSATION IN THE LAST YEAR! And maybe I would BUY that Sonny is such a good friend that Robin would want to do him a solid by pimping him to Brenda IF I got to see Sonny, you know, occasionally showing concern for ROBIN-more than, "Glad to see your husband's fuck buddy didn't kill you-sucks about the being drugged and driving w/Emma in the car and being trapped in the well, though."

I can't remember who said it, but, fellow poster, whoever you are: This show is an ASSHOLE, indeed!

The OTT of Brenda is ridiculous. All the women are jealous, insecure shrews and all the men idiots. This is my first time watching Brenda on the show and all this propping is not endearing me to her. I liked her scenes with Robin and Jax and I like her bickering with Jason. But everything else makes me want to slam my head on my keyboard. I could not believe the craziness coming out her mouth yesterday. Sonny shot his son in the chest and almost blew up his daughter but he's a good man? Are you freaking kidding me? Would RealBrenda (not Guza's wacked out version) really be okay with any of this?

And what was in those drugs that CrazyLisa gave Robin? Because there is a lot of craziness coming out her mouth as well. Or maybe Robin breathed in too many well fumes.

Aside from all the crap with Brenda and Sonny in the past, Robin knows that Sonny SHOT HIS SON IN THE CHEST. Why is she trying to get her friend back with someone who would shoot an unarmed cop, even if it wasn't his son???

Robin is pretty effing stupid for a doctor, even one written by Team Guza.

All right, I guess I'll be the "old lady" here and state for the "old lady" record that I HEART HEART Adrienne Barbeau and am thrilled she has stayed on the canvas. It's one of the few things I perk up for these days. For that reason alone, I'm thankful for Brenda being back.

I mean come on, she's gotten to bitch slap Max and Milo, Diane, Sam and definitely didn't have a problem telling Maxie to pound sand. Plus the comment to Max about how if he didn't find Jason he'd be "wearing his balls for earrings." HA! I know I'm showing my "old ladiness" again, here, but she said that same line in the movie Creepshow. I'm pretty sure that was on purpose, but I don't know how many people caught it. If you have NOT seen her as "Billie" in that movie, OMG, you HAVE TO.

Oh how my maturing heart longs for Sonny, Claire, Dante, Jason and Carly to take a long walk off a short pier and have scenes, instead, of Diane, Alexis and Suzanne becoming the best-ever girlfriends and getting into all sorts of on-the-road hijinx like Alexis and Diane did for about five minutes, 100 years ago.....

I'm more likely to win the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. I need a Metamucil and Vodka smoothie.........

*SIDE NOTE* - I AM enjoying Brenda's return to some extent. If nothing else it makes me wax sentimental for the days when this show was not only tolerable but one you couldn't wait to see from day to day.

I've been away from actually watching this show for months, but your hilarious blogging (which I follow religiously because it never lets me down, unlike the corresponding shows) actually inspired me to watch one episode so I could get a fuller grasp of the apparent idiocy that fuels such hilarious blog posts. But all I've come away with is this: WHAT is wrong with Patrick's hair?? I'm sorry if someone else has commented on this before. I can't imagine that no one else has noticed it. But his sideburns are a completely different length than the rest of his head! I can accept poor writing. I can accept strange acting techniques (or Maurice Benard, who is in his own little category). But Jason Thompson's hair is an atrocity. Can someone PLEASE do something about this??

They shaved the sideburns in an odd way and dyed the grey hair dark.

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