That Is Some Serious Opposite Logic

General Hospital characters often act in a way that makes me suspect that the writers have very little interaction with other humans because...people don't act like that in real life. I usually don't ask "What in the name of Jason Morgan is wrong with these people?" but, rather, "What kind of assed-up sweeps scenario are the writers lazily setting up here?"

Like, say, Liz's (suddenly rewritten) explanation for her money woes.

Elizabeth: I saw an opportunity to be financially free of Nikolas and at the time, I didn't want anything to do with him. And deep down, I was hoping that if I put enough distance between me and Nikolas, maybe you would come back to me.
Lucky: But I told you that's not going to happen.
Elizabeth: I know, I know.
Lucky: Nothing's changed. I don't want to have to keep saying that.

I mean, aside from the huge WTF? that was Liz trying to say Lucky played a part in her (DANGEROUSLY STUPID) decision to break the boys' trusts for investment purposes, since that is so not how it played out, this conversation seemed like it happened solely to facilitate Siobhan and Lucky's State of the Relationship talk and--I am overreacting in a pessimistic fashion here--setting up the possibility of a Liz/Nikolas/Brook Lynn triangle, if Liz's "at the time, I didn't want anything to do with him" is any indication. Sweeps love triangle? Who knows!

And then there was Sam:

Sam: You cant use Brenda as bait, Jason. You've got to use me.

Why not just have Kelly Monaco say "It's not a real story unless I am being physically threatened somehow!"?

And, yes, this exchange happened so that Dante would once again be Brenda's bodyguard and shenanigans and/or angst will ensue, but look at what she said. Look at what she said! What in the name of Jason Morgan is wrong with her?!

Claire: I'm a fed and he's a mobster. There's always something to worry about. But back to the matter at hand: I want to discuss police protection for Brenda.
Dante: Jason is more than capable of taking care of that.
Claire: Jax doesn't think so, and he has a point. Jason's life revolves around violence. Brenda could easily wind up a casualty in a completely unrelated incident and I would like to keep Brenda safe for my own reasons.
Dante: What are those reasons?
Claire: Well, if something happened to her, Sonny's guilt would be off the charts and that would definitely kill anything we have going on.

There are no words. Only curse words. Curse words lobbed angrily and at an inappropriately high volume at my television. Curse words that appear in an all-caps email to ABC Daytime begging that ridiculous, pathetic character be written off of the show.

Comments

[Scooter]

Claire: Well, if something happened to her, Sonny's guilt would be off the charts and that would definitely kill anything we have going on.

Wait - what? WTF? Really? I ... just ... what?

[tish]

no words -- no words can justify those scenes....
ugh

glad I don't watch... thanks to your blog I can catch up with humor.

[Cate]

So Claire wants Brenda alive so that she can continue to get laid by the mumbling douchebag mob boss...this show's moral compass just astounds me!!

[LogopolisMike]

Why not just have Kelly Monaco say "It's not a real story unless I am being physically threatened somehow!"?

Because then Guza would have released one of the "secrets" of his "success."

And even self-deluded him realizes he's got to keep those close to the vest, like a Jason Morgan tailored black t-shirt.

[LadyBug]

RH stated at her fan event that Liz investing her children's trust fund money was a "WTF" moment, and that the story line had been dropped.

Please, no more Liz/xxxx/xxxx/xxxx or Liz/zzzz/zzzz story lines. I am so tired of seeing RH in triangles and squads! If Liz is not in a WTD story line, she's caught between two men.

Sam wants Brenda gone, like last week.

[No More GH for Me!!]

Since I no longer watch this show, I still want to know how and why liz invested the trust funds. It makes ZERO sense (just like everything else on this show I suppose). Weren't those trust funds for like $10 million each or something? Seems like that is more than enough money for college funds, family vacations, etc. Hell - Jason practically bought her the damn house she lives in. AND, even if the trusts were set up strictly for the boys - Liz obviously had access to the funds or she never would have been able to invest the money in the first place. AND, Jason - to this day - would pretty much give Liz anything she needed - especially something like money which Jason does not attach much signficance to. GAWD! This show makes me crazy and I am so very glad that I don't watch. My blood pressure is rising just reading your blog!

[Liz]

A Liz/Nikolas/Brook Lynn triangle? God you're probably right. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Thank god I don't watch this show anymore.

[Shirleedee]

At what point in this crazy Brenda/Sonny/Claire tale did Claire become in charge of Dante's assignments as a cop?!?! Does the special prosecutor get to walk into the PCPD at will and give orders?
Isn't Jason supposed to be in charge of Brenda's safety. And when did Jax get to decide who gets police protection. Didn't he say that hotel security would protect her? Don't these writers ever read what the write? Oh, and then there's a little thing called "real life". WTF is going on!!!

[Judy]

These writers are just flat-out, fucking nutbar CRAZY. That explains it all.

[Rene']

My father left money for my daughter when he died and it's in a trust, and I can promise you, I have NO ACCESS to it! It's a legal trust, and the money can only be accessed by her when she turns 21. What a crock of shit that Liz could take it all out and invest it!! I believe you can take a loan against it as collateral, but you can't actually wipe it out. THAT'S WHY IT'S A TRUST!!

Of course, why are we all getting bent about using proper legalities on a show that allows friends, enemies and family members of the accused to sit on their jury, not to mention jaunty conversations between said jury members and the judge. Search warrants? Nope, don't need em. Probable cause? What's that?

Stealing your children's trust money to invest in a DEFCON 1-level-risk stock? Why the hell not!

[Rene']

Oh, and on a P.S. note...I THOROUGHLY enjoyed Lucky's verbal bitch slap of Elizabeth at the mere mention of them getting back together. Becky Herbst is gorgeous with hair to die for, a stellar actress, and from all accounts, an incredibly lovely person, but I haven't liked the character of Liz in a long time. Having her stomp on Jonathan Jackson-played Lucky makes it even worse.

[Tabby]

The only thing Sam does on this show is follow Jason, wait for Jason, shop for Jason, and look hot for Jason. Her entire world revolves around Jason. Her characters is like a hollow shell of what used to be a woman who had a life, or something like that.

[Curtis]

I clearly recall the doctors standing around talking about this investment scheme as a "syndicate." Much like in thoroughbred horses, the initial pop for a stake in the drug company was $100,000 which the doctors were splitting three ways and if Liz wanted in she could get in as a fourth. There was no talk about her investing a half million in this thing.

I'm still waiting for her to find out that the stones Shirley gave her before she died are, while in very ugly setting, really, like, really valuable. I'll probably be waiting a long time.

[Lisbeth]

ah...the list of characters that need to be written off the show boggles my mind....Claire, BrookLynn, Sam, Maya, Spinelli, last but not least, Sonny.