Bad: Hair, Decisions, Writing

I was so, so excited for new soaps today. SO excited. And not just because I was looking forward to follow-up on the whole "Michael and Jason stopped by to wish Edward a Merry Christmas and it was like a cup of peppermint hot chocolate for the soul" thing (although that was a big part of it), but also: I spent yesterday snowed in watching Lifetime's "A Perfect Sunday" marathon, filled with movies with "Perfect" in their titles (The Perfect Nanny, The Perfect Teacher, The Perfect Marriage) and even ABC Daytime, with its myriad problems, started to look positively stellar in comparison.

All My Children was pre-empted for snow coverage and a Mayor Bloomberg press conference, so I pinned all of my entertainment hopes and dreams on General Hospital and General Hospital, as ever, was just not up for the task, because there was a GLARING problem. Actually, there were many GLARING problems but one problem GLARED more than the others and I think we all know exactly what problem I am talking about.

I knew, when I was watching Sonny and Brenda's engagement scenes, that I should be annoyed. At how effing rushed this whole engagement is, since Brenda hasn't been back in Port Charles for long and spent the first few weeks back in town moaning about how she shouldn't be allowed to go near Sonny. At the, let's just say it, BIZARRE acting choices Maurice Benard and Vanessa Marcil employed.

Sonny: I've been married, but I've never been able to....[Looks down at the ground in hopes that a kindly production assistant used berries to spell out the next part of the line] [Sees that there is no such line spelled out on the ground] [Thinks "This is awkward"] [More silence]...I've never really been able to let you go and there's been a lot of times that I wanted to reach out to you.

Brenda: I'm afraid of so many things. I'm afraid you'll leave me. I'm afraid that the second I count on you, you'll be gone. I'm afraid I'm not good enough. [Awkward peal of laughter]
Sonny: You're absolutely good enough. And I'm not going to leave you at the altar again.
Brenda: [DEAFENING CACKLE]

But I couldn't even focus on my annoyance, because I was so distracted by THIS.

 
What IS that? If you answered "A hairstyle appropriate for a seven-year-old girl", I am totally with you.

So, yes, Brenda and Sonny got engaged. At Tracy and Luke's wedding. And then strolled back in to announce their happy news to everybody gathered there for Tracy and Luke's wedding. It was tacky as hell and every person in the room reacted to the news with horror, rage, or a combination of the two.

TRACY: Anger and disgust ("I think it's kind of rude" "Your manners haven't improved over time")EDWARD: Abject horror
CARLY: Revulsion
JAX and DANTE and SPINELLI: Suicidal thoughts.

SPEAKING of Dante, he and Lulu went home after the wedding and as she was talking, he fell asleep and started to dream about/flash back to a moment three years ago when he professed his love to Brenda. Dick move, Falconeri. 

I am so, so over the Dante/Brenda story. And it hasn't even really started! Can you imagine what air-hogging, poorly written drama 2011 will bring?! But MAN, watching Lulu gaze at Dante while he stares at Brenda, love etched across his face, is driving me BATTY and doing his character no favors. I just don't understand torpedoing a sweet and popular (? I actually have no idea if the Dante/Lulu pairing is popular, but let's just go with it) couple just because Bob Guza woke up one morning and though "OMG! What if I put my new favorite toy with my old favorite toy and created a mega toy?! OMG!"

Spinelli dropped the bomb that Dante paid money to sever ties with the child "he" and Brenda had and Carly responded to the news that isn't really the news she thinks it is pretty calmly. Yes, she was gleeful and you could see her mind racing as she imagined the best and most destructive way to share the news with everyone in Port Charles, but she didn't immediately let out an Olive Hoover scream of ecstasy or engage in celebratory arson, setting the Quartermaine mansion on fire. That's pretty impressive!

All she did was allude to an official scale of Liars...

Carly: Brenda and Dante are the worst kind of liars. Not only did he cover up a murder, he signed away his kid and Brenda is selling herself to Sonny as some shining angel, when she's the mother of his grandchild.

(What part of that makes them the WORST kind of liars?! I want to see the official ranking system.)

and then haul ass to Sonny's to screech at him a little, under the guise of "protecting him from Brenda". I am sure that this is the first of MANY times she will have this conversation with Sonny, alluding to a secret or protecting him because she cares. Because there is no way this secret gets out quickly. For one, it's not sweeps yet. And for another, this is CARLY. There is no way she's going to tell this secret to Sonny, in private. I think we all know she'll do it with a megaphone, in a public, in front of a crowd.

Also in Port Charles...

• Mac and Alexis interacted. It was poorly written and, shockingly, poorly acted.
• Theo grilled Diane about Jason and Sonny. Diane listed some of Sonny's positive attributes (including his willingness to do anything for his children. Except, you know, go to jail for them) and it came up that Morgan's last name is now Jacks. Did we know that the adoption went through? That's the kind of thing I'd like to see on-screen, but I guess they couldn't work Dante into it...
• Nik hearts Brook Lynn.
• Tracy burned the pre-nup.
• Something something about Edward and Maya and Ethan and heirs.

It's another short week, by the way: an episode tomorrow, a DRAMATIC BUS ACCIDENT on Wednesday (do you think when the bush crash story starts, the commercials for it will stop airing on every single network I watch? I sure hope so because that Interstate 55 sign is starting to haunt my dreams) and repeats Thursday and Friday.

Comments

[LadyBug]

Mallory, thanks for the recap.

Cujo will blast Brante's secret far and wide in order to do the most damage.

Dante is dreaming about Brenda while with Lulu? How crass.

Nicholas is a douchebag. Since Emily's death, he's slept with her twin sister Rebecca, best friend Elizabeth, and now he's scoping out cousin Brooklyn? Whose next? Skye, Monica and Tracy?

Sonny/Brenda - Tracy is right about their rudeness.

[Beth R.]

Honestly I never have been a Brenda fan but even I knew her return would pretty much bring ratings and would allow for Guza to pretend for a little longer that everyone who complains is a big crybaby who doesnt' understand his genius while everyone rushed to praise the chemistry, the acting choices or anythign that he had nothing to do with but would totally take credit for.

the fact he had bungled what was practically the BIGGEST gimme in terms of ratings and praise this show has had since the brief return of Genie Francis? Speaks volumes about how badly he screwed this up.

[Leanne]

Okay, I totally thought Brenda's hair was adorable, but I also thought her dress was adorable because I'm sixteen. Sue me.

Nancy Lee Grahn is amazing and Chad Duell is a teddy bear. And that is all I have to say about today's GH.

[TekBunE]

I believe the 'chemistry' of Brenda and Sonny is called acid reflux because that what I feel every time I see Sonny on my screen. I have watched this show for over thirty years and now a day without Sonny is a day WITH sunshine. I usually wish that Carly would grow up or go away, but today I actually liked her silly enjoyment of ruining her ex's life. I think I'm probably over it now! Sigh. I really hate Sonny.

[Jenn]

I know there's been a lot of Dante and Lulu backlash online, but I was always a fan of theirs. And even though Dante was on every single day, I still liked him before this Brenda mess. Seriously, throwing him into Brenda's story has completely RUINED this character. And if Guza is determined to never give DZ a day off, then maybe he should've thought twice before turning a decent guy into a hypocritical, two faced lying ASS.

I loved Dante and Lulu but now I just want her to find out about all of his secrets and lies and to find someone else. He's a piece of garbage

[dante my the force be with you]

guza should have stick to turn to the darkside story for dante and the brooklynn mess dante should have never been in the brenda storyline he ruin the character by cover up for killing of the balkan son worst with the storyline guza use some of brooklynn return storyline with brenda storyline please some thing new please

[Kay]

What has happened to Vanessa Marcil?! I thought she used to be a decent actress. Now she has almost as many strange tics as Maurice Benard.

I can't believe I was once a Sonny and Brenda fan. They have no chemistry now and their scenes together are so awkward and cringe-inducing.

The hair and wardrobe choices for Brenda are really bizarre. What 30-something woman would wear that dress that she wore to Tracy and Luke's wedding? It looked like something a 13 year-old might wear.

[ckn]

This Brenda fan is really really REALLY sorry VMG decided to do another stint on this crap show. MB, VMG and TPTB are riding the tailcoats of a GREAT couple and they can't even do THAT right.

Yes, I was hoping for a S/B reunion but at this point, the only thing I want to see is Carly's secret blowing up sky high in her face. It would be her just dessert for all her medaling. Looking out for Sonny MY ASS! She only wants to proves to the world and especially the people who "unfathomably" care for Brenda that she isn't an angel (as if Brenda ever made that claim). The sad part is that Carly will never get what she has coming to her (not with Guza as HW). What's worse than sad is that it will always be her kids who end up taking the fall for her bad choices. It's pretty ironic considering Carly IS the best mother to have ever mothered. Now, excuse me while go I hurl.

[Carina]

I usually HATE Carly but recently I've been loving her guts. I think because shes gotten sooooo ridiculous at this point. And I've never had so much fun screen capping an episode of GH

Bitchface galore.

I also am not a big Nik fan or Brook Lynn fan but I like them together

On that note, I used to love Dominic Perelli but I'm HATING this Dante. I want him to stop grovelling over Brenda, like yesterday

[Lisbeth]

Monday's highlight? Diane trying to count Sonny's children...that we know of.....for now.

[Danielle]

Brenda's hair looked like the hair I'm always ashamed to be sporting when I walk my dogs at 6 a.m. She also looked like she was on heavy pain medication when she was explaining her fears to Sonny. Which is also how I look when I'm walking my dogs at 6 a.m.

[JS]

I still love Brenda like she was my own wacky aunt, and she is the only reason I am putting myself through this show. But I don't know why I harbored any hopes that TIIC might actually put forth some effort into writing for VMG when they don't do it for any other actors. I've honestly found her best scenes this go-round to be with Jax, Robin, and of all people, Dante. Oh, and I kind of liked the hair, but I do wish she would cut it. Hopefully she does before the wedding that has not a prayer of actually going through.

[Jade]

I actually thought Brenda's hair was super cute!
But I created this account to say I HATE Dante. I liked him in the beginning and all the way until Brenda returned, now I just want to punch him. They have ruined his character with this pining over Brenda. I hope Lulu finds everything out soon, and dumps him. She deserves waaay better. And Sonny and Brenda should get married. Just so Dante can feel even more sorry for himself.

[lyn]

I fast forward all these scenes or delete the show altogether. Everyone's comments are way more entertaining and funny. Seriously, what's happened to Brenda? Her voice is so weak, crackling and barely audible.

[AngerintheAfternoon]

Does the I-55 sign haunt you by saying "I'm nowhere near upstate New York, idiots?" or is that only my dreams.

I won't be watching the bus crash that will change absolutely nothing except put our mobsters in snow. The promise of SR and LLC massacreing Leonard Cohen was enough of a nightmare, for me to say no way.

[Beth]

"because Bob Guza woke up one morning and though "OMG! What if I put my new favorite toy with my old favorite toy and created a mega toy?! OMG!""

Oh, sweet Soap Gods, he's created a TRANSFORMER. BrenDanBot!!!!

"The promise of SR and LLC massacreing Leonard Cohen was enough of a nightmare, for me to say no way."

Anger, let me give that a big HECK YEAH! All it took to nauseate me was to hear Hallelujah being strangled by whatshisface to turn that promo off in disgust.

[tish]

Tracy was right it was rude for Brenda and Sonny to announce their engagement at the wedding but since Sonny and Brenda are self centered--it was perfect for them.

Mac and Aleixs were scary-- agreed poorly acted and written (shocking on the acting part-not so much with the written part). Why care when we only see Mac and Alexis on holidays.

What is up with VMG-- her laugh is annoying. I loved Brenda-- now not so much. Don't care what is did /didn't do with Dante. I still can't get over how Brenda whitewashed Sonny's harming his children.

Great comments about the toy and Guza.... DZ needs to take a week or two off. We need a Dante break

[Rene']

I was mega disappointed in the Jason/Michael/Edward scenes. He seemed more annoyed and/or suspicious than happy. I wanted a little love and gratitude thrown around, not another moment to try to lasso Michael into ELQ - especially since he went right into the same MO with Ethan not five minutes later. Eegads....

Fast forwarded everything Sonny/Brenda. I've got two people in the house with the flu right now, so I have to be well to take care of them. Not risking it on that gag fest.

It's like Guza does some sort of Madlibs style of writing when it comes to Mac and Alexis. What else can explain the confusing way they interact?? Poor NLG looked humiliated.

I was kind of touched by the burning of the prenup and Tracy's reaction to it, but I do like Tracy and Luke. I know, slap in the face to Luke and Laura, and THEY were the reason I started watching this show in 1979, but....times change, and if they're going to rake Genie Francis over the coals by bringing her back, I say let her stay in France and just give Luke and Tracy their story.

I'm hoping they might actually use Bradford Anderson's stellar acting abilities (yes, he has them!!) and let Spinelli's conscious allow him to spill to Brenda about Carly's new information, but maybe in a non-Spinelli-speak way?? He used to do that with Jason a few years back. I know, a girl can dream.

Well, guess it will be interesting to compare Wednesday's "Jason to the rescue" bus crash (you know that's what will happen) with the "Jason to the rescue" Metro Court hostage crisis repeats on Thurs. and Fri. Mallory, you may need a poll on which one sucks worse.

Why do the characters also refer to it as the "hostage crisis?" Isn't that a weird thing to say??

[Rene']

That should have said "conscience" not CONSCIOUS! Maybe I AM getting sick....

[gjb]

All I will say is I knew from the moment VM decided to come back that it was a HORRIBLE idea. The devil DESTROYED Brenda for me. I was a huge Brenda fan for many reasons, one of which was her bff friendship/sister relationship with Robin but thinks to that BASTARD who for some reason no matter how much he f*cks up the show doesn't seem to get fired, that friendship along with the character of Brenda as a whole is ruined. Now whenever Robin and Brenda have scenes together (and that's very rare), we have Brenda talking about Brenda, and Robin pimping Sonny to her. That wasn't what there relationship was. Brenda was NEVER this selfish! I HATE BOB GUZA. Also why the HELL is Dante in EVERY DAMN STORY??????? I used to like him but cause of guza I hate him now. The fact that guza is still HW of that show even though he has basiclly ruined every character and the show as a whole tells me that he's blackmailing ABC and Frons because that is the ONLY logical explanation why that SOB still has a job. If they don't fire him, I give GH about 2 more yrs before it gets taken off the air. And don't even get me started on how he completely DESTROYED the only couple they had left on that show: scrubs, just to push another USELESS character in our faces!

[Curtis]

We thought Claire had stepped into the same elevator as Rick and just left PC for Palinland but, no, she's a glutton for punishment that woman. Well, good luck to her. We think they are writing her to A. join the lawfirm; B. discover what Theo is doing and to 3. ultimately, die at the hands of the Balkan because of that knowledge. This way they don't have to kill off Alexis or Diane. Just speculation not based on any insider knowledge.

And speaking of Alexis, the Mac and Alexis scenes may have been badly written but they weren't badly acted. I think they took a bad script and played it well. The weird dancing, Mac's offscreen comment about going to the Harbor View for more drinks (knowing full well that would never get on camera) and the brief scene where he asks Alexis about residual feelings and when she says, "Hell, no." He says, "Are you sure?" and gives her a 'look.' That was great.

Grain shovel Wham! to Carly for what she wants to do with Spin's info. We expect her to make the stupid leap she has but Spinelli? Wham!Wham! He's supposed to be so much smarter than that. We're hoping he comes to his senses and explains to somebody that there's no way this means anything but what didn't happen between Brenda and Dante.

Dante's dream? It was a dream. Not a flashback. I tell my wife a lot about my dreams but some things we just don't discuss because we know that they're just dreams and everybody gets them. Our problem with the storyline is that it looks like he's convinced Brenda to not tell Sonny because sometimes holding back the truth will prevent hurting a loved one. Yeah, that worked great for him and his mom didn't it? Got him shot.

And can the writers get anything right? I-55? In upstate NY? Sweet Jesus on a flyin' monkey stick these guys are stupid!

[claire]

claire was as bad as brenda storyline critics are right about gh the can not finish /guza/

[Terri]

I have to agree Dante's character has been ruin even more. I liked Dante' and Lulu and their slow flirtation romance. But slowly they have slowly ruin Dante' first with the shooting and building a case against Sonny storyline and now with this Brenda storyline. I don't watch all the time....but I think before this storyline with Brenda started...Dante' talk about how Lulu was the first woman he really loved. The next another thing I have problems with is when Lulu talked to Dante' about her abortion...because he talked about having children and how proud he was of his Mom. He didn't seem uncomfortable as she talked like he was keeping something. For me this storyline is just further ruining Dante's character. It also makes me realizes there is no way they know storylines months ahead of time like Guza claims.

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