It's A Nice Day for a...Weird Wedding

Damn it all to hell.

I was all set--ALL SET! I had some lengthy, which probably goes without saying because hello, diatribes about how Tracy and Luke should have been shenanigans-free married for real years ago and how the writers have made both characters look so foolish and pathetic and how much I hate, hate, HATE GH's  twinkly wacky music. "Haha!", the music taunts us. "This is whimsical! Well, actually, it is maddening, but in a whimsical way! Laugh monkey, laugh!" and how when Luke interrupted the minister and his "Oh, no! No!" was accompanied by that godforsaken piano music of sinister glee, I almost choked on the candy cane Tootsie pop that I was enjoying which (a) is a delicious treat and (b) would have been a HUMILIATING way to die--to be ranty about Luke and Tracy's wedding.

But then Luke and Tracy said their wedding vows and Tony Geary and Jane Elliot were just so good and every complaint I had just vanished and my heart was warmed and I let out a completely involuntary "Aww!"

 
 
Luke: I set a trap for you. You flipped it. You caught me. But I love you. We are perfect together. We are each other's unlikely surprise. Totally unexpected. So that's why I'm standing here in full out unapologetic husband mode. I love you Tracy Spanky Popsicle Quartermaine. I want to call you my wife and know it's more than just another nickname.
Tracy: Okay. Well, you're right about the unlikely and unexpected surprise thing. You brought me back to life. You gave me something to look forward to. You gave me a reason to get up in the morning and every night, I look forward to our next adventure. Luke Spencer, I will love you til the day I die. 

Jane Elliot is always impeccable (I've said before that I want nothing more in life than to have her narrate Serial Drama blog entries, but I'd even settle for getting to watch her read the blog silently. I can just imagine her letting out a knowing murmur or sneering at a particularly unfunny pun.), but Tony Geary, as we know, sometimes has a tendency to go over-the-top. Maybe he got that out of his system during the start of the episode, which was one wacky episode after another? Whatever the case may be, they were so good and ended the episode on such a high note that I am actually looking forward to watching tomorrow. Yes, you read that correctly: looking forward to watching General Hospital, written by Bob Guza.

Of course, not even Jane Elliot and Tony Geary could make up for some GLARING problems, namely: how the hell can Tracy and Luke get married and not have BOBBIE and MONICA and NED and DILLON there? Okay, Ned and Dillon were unlikely to appear, and Bobbie and Monica would mean too many veteran characters on-screen during one episode, which would have offended Guza so much that he'd write in a shootout and kill them all with one fell swoop, but the writers couldn't have spared ten seconds for someone to explain away their absences? Why not cut the scene with Spinelli and Carly yet again discussing the plan to dig up dirt on Brenda and Dante, which was both unentertaining and a recap of every conversation those two have ever had? Ugh, this effing show.

Then there were the fashion problems.

Lulu and Maya? Gorgeous!

 

 

That color is amazing.

The backs of their dresses? Kind of not so much.

 

Brenda, meanwhile, shops at Mandee.

 

And Jax...

 

...has started sticking his finger into electrical outlets for a cheap thrill?

I have zero complaints about Carly and Alexis.

Laura Wright should wear this color at all times.

 

And Nancy Lee Grahn? Yowza.

 
I can't get away with saying yowza, but that look was hot enough for me to at least attempt it.

Alice is so utterly tiresome and Bergen Williams is so bad at acting that I normally roll my eyes at the very sight of her, but her depression over the wedding was kind of comical, if only for Lucky and Ethan's disturbed reactions.

 

Lucky, glimpsing her widow's weeds: O...kay.

Alice: He's just going to waste himself on that Tracy Quartermaine. You know she's just going to snip his hoo-has as soon as she can.
Lucky and Ethan: 

 

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Robin and Patrick engaged in flirty banter. Now, I definitely feel like they need a LONG estrangement before reconciliation is even remotely possible, but...I was charmed. Damn their chemistry and cuteness.

Patrick: I hope it goes without saying that I'd love to spend time with you and Emma. Whatever makes you comfortable.
Robin: Well, Christmas is supposed to be a magical time for kids. As Emma's parents, we are supposed to provide her with wonderful memories, so...would you like to come home and spend Christmas with us?

 
Robin, after telling Patrick that he'd be sleeping in the guest room: You're not going to wear me down.
Patrick: A guy can hope, can't he?

Like I said, I was charmed. I may have even giggled. I'M NOT MADE OF STONE.

Speaking of stone, that's just about how thick Lisa's skull is, because she observed this new found chumminess between Patrick and Robin and thought to herself, "All of my plans are, first of all, terrible, and, second of all, failures. So you know what I'm going to do! Make another plan!" She made a mysterious phone call to someone whose voice she'd love to hear (?) and it was all very sinister. Do I bother hoping that this latest scheme will be well-written or, at the very least, campily entertaining? Or do I resign myself to the fact that Fun Lisa is a thing of the past?

Comments

[Beth R.]

No lie...when i first saw pictures from this episode...my first thought was "Oh look at the show trying to sell Sonny as charming by bringing Kristina as his date".

[Leanne]

Hey, I thought Brenda's dress was adorable! Granted, I'm sixteen, so this is probably not an accurate judgement, as I wanted to steal it from her and wear it to school tomorrow (because I, like Brenda, live in New York, so if she can wear that thing in the middle of December, so can I! Right? Right?), but you get the idea. Adorable.

I want a candy cane Tootsie pop! Where did you find that???

[Kris]

I was hoping Lisa's phone call was to her hairdresser. Homegirl needs a deep conditioning treatment and cut and color like crazy. And don't get me started on the makeup.

[Mallory]

Ha! Leanne, it's totally winter appropriate! Some people could definitely get away with that outfit, but it just looked weird on Brenda.

PS: Candy cane Tootsie pops are at Target! Well, that's where I found them. They are in the Christmas candy section!

[Rose Jordan]

I can not stand Luke or Tracey ! So could care less about this so called marriage ! Yuck to them both! jmo hehe

[Sarah]

If I were Jax I would be sticking my finger into electrical outlets too, and not just for kicks or to try and numb myself from the pain of being married to Carly. I would hope electricity jolting through me might trigger my brain and my balls back to life!

[Sarah]

Now for what used to be a highlight of soap weddings, the fashion!

Tracy, deliciously elegant bridal and even age appropriate. I too adore her beyond measure, but I really loved her look despite my fangurl squeeling just to see her.

Maya, I loved her hair without the relaxer. It was sexy and fun and gave her character more personality than she actually portrayed. But still, a very pretty woman even with the boring straight hair. JMO.

Lulu looked pretty too, I didn't even hate the back of the dress. It looked great on both of them.

Carly, loathe her as always, but her hair remains one of the great wonders of the world! The dress was fine, but I have a major issue with the side boobage and armpit cut of that type of dress. I simply don't find it flattering or attractive. I'm also a big fan of bras!! And she so often goes w/out :-(

I too thought Brenda looked lovely, to me her dress was not too young, just the opposite IMO. The only ugly thing about her ensemble was her date!

But the most offensive thing for me was the glaring absence of guests. Most especially Monica and Bobbie. DAMN GUZA & PHELPS TO HELL.

[LadyBug]

Thanks for the recap. Soap weddings used to be lavish with lots of guests, secrets being spilled and hookups in strange places...

[Tabby]

Even though this wedding sucks, Jane Elliot looked gorgeous. What would have been cool was for Luke to go through all of this, and sign the prenup, only to have Tracy run out the back door and go on a nice luxury vacay.

[Janet B.]

I'll never understand why the writers always fail to put in one little throwaway line explaining the absence of key players during big soap events. It is so glaring not to mention family members that aren't at weddings, funerals and other events. Why not tell us Bobbie and Monica are at a medical convention, Dillon is on a film set in Europe, Ned is touring. Otherwise it just continues the impression that the writers are crapping all over the history of the show.

I agree Lulu and Maya looked really pretty, not sure I liked Tracy's dress but Jane Elliot looks fab, Brenda looks very odd, Carly's dress seemed to squash her chest into weird shapes, Alexis looked great. Jax's hair...your comment says it all! I am also looking forward to today's episode!

[Bryon]

The Luke Spencer that I grew up watching WOULD NEVER EVER MARRY TRACY QUARTERMAINE......NOT EVER!

I don't care how "Awwww" the vows were, The Luke Spencer that I grew up watching WOULD NEVER MARRY TRACY QUARTERMAINE......NOT EVER!

[ande mcbeal]

Luke and Tracy's "relationship" is one of those situations where I can't find anything charming, amusing or engaging in the story as the story, as told, has ruined both characters. Tracy is now a pathetic weakling who is so desperate to have a man that she'll settle the likes Luke Spencer who is so worthless that he'll claim to love a woman, but can't be assed with showing her a modicum of respect, stealing from her and cheating on her repeatedly. A pox on both of them and no vows written--certainly none written by that hack Bob Guza, could ever make me go "Aww" over such a loathsome, destructive pairing. But I'm glad someone was able to enjoy something on this mess of a soap, because these days I fast-forward through in about five minutes flat.

Also, in the name Jasus, Lavery and Victor Newman can we have a reprieve from Dante? I know it's his girlfriend's father's wedding so he should be there, but damn. Even on fast-forward he is irritating.

[Ginger]

I can't stand the pairing of Luke and Tracy on any level. It has ruined two glorious, strong characters for me and made them into pathetic jokes. Leave it to Bob Guza to put this travesty wedding on on Laura's birthday as a further slam to LnL fans who have stood by this show for over 30 years. Jane Elliot and Tony Geary deserve far better than they are getting on this show. Luke's one comment said it best, "Is everybody happy?" Not Luke, and not this fan of his!!!!

[sanen85]

Ummm, I have a question that hopefully somebody can answer.

So, if Luke & Tracy's first wedding wasn't legal, does that mean he is legally married to Laura? Was there some point that I missed during their wedding a couple years back where they pointed out a fake minister?

[caogra]

Sorry, I cannot get on board with this wedding. I despise Luke and Tracy as a romantic couple! As par with Guza, I am sure this wedding is the beginning of the end for them. At least I hope!!!! There are so many Genie Francis rumors out there. I want her back soooooo bad!

[LaTanya]

@Sanen85 I can't tell you the date but I do remember Luke explaining to someone either Tracy or one of the kids that the minister that he hired was fake. As he put it since Laura didn't have that much time left he didn't want her to know that he was married to Tracy and wanted to give Laura her fairy tale ending. (Confused? I know I am...lol)

[saw]

People seriously!!!

Do you not understand what this reign of terror (Guza) will do to ridicule the character and history of Laura if Genie Francis is brought back?

Has the return of Brenda taught you nothing??? She who now looks adoringly in Sonny's eyes and tells him that shooting a cop was understandable and putting a bomb in a car that his daughter was undoubtedly going to enter was his last resort..C'mon!

Those of you who continue to have high hopes that your GH of the 90's will return, please face the facts. Guza will bludgeon once awesome characters (especially if they were much loved and adored in years past) and rewrite their history COMPLETELY spitting in the face of your 20-30+ years of soap loyal viewing.

So for your own sanity and for the love of the Luke and Laura fantasy romance that you once swooned over; PRAY that GENIE FRANCIS stays away and finds a lucrative paying, well written, respectable gig elsewhere.

Cause current GH aint it.

[DebbieN]

Unfortunately, Saw is correct. Genie Francis' return would just give Guza another chance to stomp on any Laura fan's heart.

[Rene']

I know Bobbie wasn't there, but if you invite the Joker, then you have to invite the other DC villains, and then that invariably brings the good guys, Batman, Superman, etc., and there just wasn't enough chair space for that kind of population.

Sorry, that was awful, but what could I say?

Luke has bitched about the cost of this wedding several times now, but I'm looking at it and thinking, where was this money spent?? Someone mentioned Tracy's dress being custom made. That must be where it went (though I didn't think it was THAT fab-o) because they had krappy chairs for the guests, the house is OWNED by the Quartermaines, so there was no fee for a venue. There were TWO friggin' bridesmaids,and the dresses weren't made of spun gold encrusted with diamonds, so nope, not seein' it there either. Maybe it was the mentioned-but-not-seen musicians? Didn't sound like anybody famous.

Maybe today's episode will bring us some kind of spectacular cake sprinkled with shredded money or SOMETHING. Otherwise, Luke's idea of expensive and mine just don't mesh.

[Dawn]

Bravo to you Saw! I was a BIG lover of Luke and Laura but that ship sailed for me long ago. They way JFP treated Genie Francis (basically not wanting her because she was overweight her eyes---sidebar--- has JFP looked in a mirror lately?? She ain't no prize her damn self)made me want Genie to NEVER return to this show. Also Tony Geary simply drooling over the fact that Guza changed the history of Luke, Laura AND Holly and made Ethan Luke and Holly's son made me just despise him and ONCE AGAIN never want Genie to come back to that. Luke and Tracy don't bother me because I no longer care for the character of Luke.

[Hi.]

WHERE was Bobbie?!

This show is so dumb. Bobbie and Luke ADORE each other, and we're supposed to believe bobbie wouldn't be at his wedding?

And where the fuckk was monica?! SHE owns the damn house!

[Ziyal]

The fashion is the only thing still worth watching on this show. I love the actors, but boy, is this show crap.

[cillann]

I used to hope for Genie's return. Seeing what Guza has done to others who have returned, I hope she runs far and fast away from Guza's poison pen. I have not watched the show in 2 years. I do not buy Tracy and Luke. Never have; never will. I'm most disappointed in Tony Geary for not "protecting the franchise" as he promised years ago. I do not like pod Luke at all. Jane Elliot, well, I feel sorry for her. She is a great actress and deserves better than this. Mature love? Spare me. There is no love here. Maybe if Guza had written the angst of Luke needing to move on, maybe if we saw the anguish, but this has been a horribly written diasaster with the same plot of no trust and the same tired dialog along with lapses of togetherness for years. Tony Geary, retire to Amsterday. Luke is irrelevent. I'm still outta this show. STAY AWAY GENIE. KEEP YOUR SANITY AND YOUR INTEGRITY.

[tish]

still can't believe Monica (it is my house) Quartermaine was not at the wedding nor Bobbie (his sister, Carly's mother). I am with Cillann--- hope Genie Francis stays away after seeing Brenda's return... still can't get over the fact Brenda is OK with Sonny shooting an unarmed man and setting a car bomb almost killing is daughter.