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« A Silver Lining Shocker | Main | And Then My Head Explodes »

January 31, 2011

School Time In Llanview

I learned a lot from today's One Life to Live!

  • Having an asthma attack in high school makes the other kids tease you online in extremely uncreative and unfunny ways. They might even call you "Wheezie," which is apparently the world's cruelest insult. I've just become incredibly concerned about my life-long nickname.
  • The Buchanans and Lords and McBains and Lovetts are all super-duper religious.
  • Mailmen are frequently very impressed by packages that come "all the way" from France and, of course, like to let the recipients know how exciting this is. International shipping! What will they think of next?
  • Long, blonde hair (Hope's) looks exactly like short, spiky brown hair (Cole's).
  • If someone has had some sort of a mental breakdown and is institutionalized and is unclear on the distinction between fantasy and reality, rather than putting her in treatment sessions, you should really just find the nearest 18-year-old college freshman to go ahead and fill her in on what's real and what isn't, with no mental health professional present.
  • If you're planning to have another DNA test to confirm your lineage because you think you may have been lied to, you should totally tell your potentially-lying birth mother that you might do so.
  • If you come into town as a bit of a schemer and a con artist and you turn out to be blood-related to a Buchanan, this is very bad news and you will not get any money from them or ever be welcomed into the fold. Across the board. Unless your name is Natalie. This is very, very consistent writing, I promise.
  • Roxy is no longer relevant enough to be invited to her grandson's christening, or to even have her absence acknowledged in any way.
  • Susan Haskell is awesome.
  • Isn't it silly not to have a double wedding?!
  • Aubrey is no match for Clint Buchanan. He schooled her. She's got nothin'.
  • Aubrey Wentworth isn't really Aubrey Wentworth. (Does this mean Cutter Wentworth really is Cutter Wentworth?)
  • Dorian is itty-bitty and adorable always.
  • Ford/Salinger-free episodes are still the very best episodes!

Destiny out! (Or really, maybe she's not. She might still be making out with Matthew in a doorway.)


Oh -- it was because of his asthma attack! When I saw the screencap of the bullying on a OLTL recap, I thought they were saying he was George Jefferson's wife.

(Okay, not really, but I didn't know what it was all about.)

Clint is all kinds of awesome. I'm going to give Aubrey my normal "six month" routine to see if she clicks. I like Cutter with Kelly.

Joey is a moron. There, I said it. Joey is a moron and I'll give him "four" more months to get his act together.

I really hope that Brody turns out to be both baby Daddy's which will leave John and Ford out in the cold.

Roxy should have been at the christening, but she was at John's nasty motel room where he has slept with Vangie, Natalie, Marty, Blair, Marty and now back to Natalie with all of the baby stuff.

OLTL should send Nate and Inez out the door so that we get more Roxy scenes. I would rather see Vimal and his wife instead of Inez/Nate.

Love, love your recaps. I respectfully disagree with your minimizing Shane's being bullied at school. Bullying is irrational and hurtful behavior. I think the story works so far. And I love Kim Zimmer as a protective grandmother. (It's the most I have like Echo since her return.)

...of course, if I were a teen at Llanview High I would make fun of Shane for having two idiot parents!

Am I the last one to notice that Reva Shane now has a grandson named Shane? It didn't click for me until she was babysitting him today. My only defense is that Shane hasn't been on much and I often get distracted during OLTL wondering why Clint seems to love the kids who aren't biologically related to him (Kevin, Joey, Messica), but is rather indifferent to Natalie, and hates Rex and David.

Monica-The reason why Shane isn't on as much is because he was demoted from contract player to recurring status last year!

ICAM with everything you wrote! The Shane story although relevant in theory is wierd. And where the heck was Roxie?

Ever wonder whether Destiny and Shaun are headed for the contract trash heap?

I for one look forward to Clint crushing Aubrey like a cockroach. My feelings re: her jumped from annoyed indifference to ragey today. The sooner she is exposed and Joey can stop acting like a dumbass, the better!

No mention of Marty's rag doll? That just happened to look like John? Best part of the show.

And yes Marty is definitely awesome. A testament to SH's acting that I was actually nervous when she was holding Hope.

I'm enjoying Clint & Aubrey's game of cat & mouse though really it's hardly a fair contest. I'm pretty sure Clint has all the aces up his sleeve.

Kim Zimmer is all kinds of awesome. That is all.

Oh god that's right, that John rag doll was hysterical!

I LIKED IT when Aubrey told Clint "Fix it...or I'll fix you." I think it's about time someone stood up to his inconsistent badass self. Love Jerry ver Dorn, hate what they've turned Clint into.

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