More Murder In Port Charles: Boredom Kills

I have been having a hard time writing about General Hospital lately.

Today, specifically, I am having a hard time writing about General Hospital because, with the rumors swirling that IT is next on the ABC Daytime chopping block, possibly axed in order to make room for a Katie Couric talk show (bust out your flannel shirt and sunflower adornments, the 90s are back!), I am feeling uneasy.

This week, in, ha, general, I am having a hard time writing about General Hospital because it is duller than...see, the show is so boring that my brain is beginning to turn to mush and I can no longer make a snarky retort about dullness! I've slogged through the entire week and have even taken notes, but while my notes usually contain something funny, or at least something to expand upon humorously in a full length post, the past few days have yielded no humor. I wrote that "Adrienne Barbeau's plan is even more convoluted than an M. Night Shyamalan move", which is just lame, and today, all I wrote was "Molly". What about Molly?! I'm wagering that I was noting that she was precocious and horrible, but I didn't even make a joke out of it! That is how bored I am! The whole week has been, like, "Sam and Jason something something...Dante...Something...Angry Luke...Brenda and Sonny something something...". In slow motion. On repeat.

I really need something to implode in an unrealistic, entertaining way. I was hoping that Sonny would get trigger happy, because that's always good for a rant. Oh, or for Carly to have a meltdown about something. But our best bet right now is Elizabeth rushing off to stop Lucky and Siobhan's wedding in order to tell him the truth about Aiden's paternity.

Seriously, girl SPRINTED out of the hospital after she got the news, which she reacted to with a pitch-perfect blend of surprise and disgust.

Elizabeth: Excuse me? Can you repeat that? Now? He's getting married right now?!

I hope there are fireworks and a big confrontation! Hell, I hope that she actually follows through and finally tells him. Although I am guessing that she will, since it is what her spiritual adviser would have wanted...

Elizabeth: I'm really happy you and Sam have decided to have a baby.
Jason: That's really nice.
Elizabeth: You're going to be an amazing dad, Jason and I will always be sorry I took away the chance for you to be a father to Jake.
Jason: We were all in agreement. It was better for Jake to grow up with Lucky.
Elizabeth: Except it wasn't. He didn't die because of the mob.
Jason: You gave him a good life. Don't look for excuses to blame yourself.
Elizabeth: Can I ask you a question?
Jason: Yeah.
Elizabeth: Knowing how this all turned out, would it have all been better if I had never told you Jake was your son? Or would you rather have known from the beginning?
Jason: The beginning.

So there is that to look forward to, at least. Or look forward to as much as we look forward to anything that happens on this show.

(And yeah, I am just going to ignore the whole "Jake would have been better off with Jason. Yes, he'd be surrounded by a near constant hail of gunfire, but at least he wouldn't fall victim to an ACCIDENT!" thing because it's too angry-making and ridiculous.)

Comments

[LadyBug]

I watched the Liason scenes on YT today and it bugged me that poor old Jasey poo couldn't find his balls to tell Liz that he was NOT ever going to give up his baby no matter what!!! to a freaking drug addict! Ugh. I hate, hate passive hit men who don't have the balls to tell their baby Momma, NO!

[cassie a.]

wubs is reporting that steve burton signed a ONE year contract. looks to me that gh will be gone soon. that means i'm done watching abc. cbs writes alot better anyway & doesn't cater to just newbies.

[Mike]

Frons is actively making sure GH doesn't survive long - when you keep a head writer in place like Guza, who has done nothing but lose viewers over the last several years, it's pretty clear what the goal is. There is no saving the show, it's just a matter of when the announcement is going to come.

[Jessie]

I used to ignore phone calls in the GH hour. Now I reserve that for flipping back and forth between Days and OLTL and turn off GH about half way through. I just can't bring myself to care anymore. Lulu and Tracy are rocking the intervention story, but everything else is just so godawful lame. One positive: I want to kidnap Anthony Zacchara and bring him home so he can delight me with his insanity. I would buy a house just so I could hire him to be my gardener.

[Ziyal]

Haven't watched this in forever. Why didn't Liz tell Lucky as soon as she found out about Aiden? Does Nik know?

[Beth R.]

Ziyal....the answer your very logical questions are Nik doesn't know and she didn't say anything because found out during a non-sweeps month.

[Valerie]

This show is stupid on so many levels. I'm still trying to understand the Suzanne plot and I can't wrap my brain around it. And seriously -- what kind of a brainless TWAT is given a child that she thought was dead, has never seen OR met, and doesn't IMMEDIATELY get a DNA test to make sure that it is, indeed, her child. Oh yeah -- that would be Brenda. And is the Jason/Sam baby thing supposed to be interesting? I have very mixed feelings about GH potentially being canceled. On the one hand -- well, it's crap. And the way the show is currently written, it deserves it. And it WOULD finally break me of my abusive relationship with this show. On the other hand -- I've been watching since 1981. I grew up with this show. Part of my youth will die with it. And that just makes me sad.

[Danielle]

Telling Lucky is one thing, but Elizabeth is being a dick by not telling Nik and continuing to let him bond with Aiden when she uses him as the babysitter.

Does anyone else think that the reactions to the missing toddler are way off? They acted like he just wandered off in toy aisle of Target, not outside in a city, on the waterfront, at night. Robin and Patrick went home to make out. Michael used the situation to go spend the night with his girlfriend. Sonny was all "These things happen all the time. No big whoop!" I would have been way more concerned about my best friend's missing child or my stepbrother or ANY missing child. And when all of this is over, someone needs to sit Brenda down and say, "Listen, you have this verbal tic that is driving me, and possibly others, bonkers. Your response to far too many things is, 'what are you talking about?' Please stop saying that."

[realbrenda4evr]

Is my memory failing me, or did Jake NOT almost die in an explosion when the Russians took him?

[BJ]

It is such a dilemma. Do we want to keep watching and get more viewers tuned in with the slim possibility of saving the show? But how to do that? It is so awful that even loyal viewers have tuned out.

We often theorized that Frons was brought in to destroy the soaps. He was just so good at it. It doesn't sound as "conspiracy theory" crazy as it used to.