Why So Happy? (or Yay So Crazy!)

First of all, "John and I, we created a baby together, so if anyone is gonna make dinner with him, IT'S ME!" is one the greatest "she's gone mad!" lines on any soap ever, but if you thought that was as good as Marty was going to get yesterday, she followed it up with a tirade about artichokes about how Kelly's trying to buy John's love with expensive steak and fancy beer and then broke a bottle and... just, seriously, people, if you've lost faith in this show you need to check out Marty's awesome breakdown (directed at Kelly) yesterday.

Kelly's facial expression of "Oh. Right. Got it. I'm not actually in the middle of a catfight over some guy. I'm in the middle of CRAZYTOWN, USA and I am Enemy #1." was spectacular.

In fact, Gina Tognoni really has mastered the "Oh, this just turned into something completely else from the thing I sure did think it was" look in general. (Also? Kelly's "Stop it. Stop it! Stop it. Stop it. You are stopping it!" got a rewind from me, twice.)

I am going to retract my words of a couple weeks ago when I said Susan Haskell is probably pissed that this is how they're sending her off. Because, really?

I don't question that she's obviously not pleased to be nearing unemployment, but this? Oh. She's loving this. And so am I.

After Natalie hilariously took the better part of an episode and a half starting and stopping a tape in which Marty confesses to having swapped Liam's paternity results, Natalie was thrilled to learn that Liam is really John's biological son. But here's my question: Why is this good news?

Why be thrilled to be forever connected to this man who acts like she's essentially worthless?

Why be thrilled to be forever connected to a man she didn't have faith would understand why she had a one-night stand when she was perfectly single?

Why is she acting like this means they'll get back together? John broke up with her because she lied about something egregious, and this doesn't change that. 

Obviously John should know the truth. This is his kid. But shouldn't she be less elated to hear that the dude who really, really wants a kid whether it's biologically his or not and has stepped up for Liam, Ryder, and Bree ('member her?) is not the father? (Though I did appreciate that she worried about how crushed he'll be.)

Seriously, the look on her face was all, "Yay, I didn't lie after all!" Which, come on now. Sure you did, Nat. And John has moved on, developed feelings for someone else, and written Natalie and her son off completely. And you know? I don't blame him. He did what most people would do. I hardly expected him to be all, "Oh, you mean you lied that I was the father and basically the vast majority of this go-round of our relationship has been based on you tricking me into this family? Well, I did bond with the baby for like three weeks, so we might as well stay a family!" So why would he now be all, "Oh, you mean you only thought you were lying to me about being the father and essentially tricking me into the family? No biggie! All is forgiven, let's get back together!" 

All this means is John has a son. And Brody doesn't. I can't in a million years figure out how this would or should change anyone's relationship status, but of course we all know it will -- if not right away, it certainly will eventually. Because this is a soap opera and children are currency for looooove.

I will, of course, eat my words if this leads to a lovely, adult discussion about shared custody and how to get past the various hurts and betrayals to effectively co-parent a child. But you know, not likely.

It's seriously torture to watch Natalie turn so pathetic over ass-tastic John McBain and Marty turn insane over ass-tastic John McBain and Kelly... well, no, as I've said before, McBain is still a step up from screwing one's stepson. But why aren't women battling it out over Brody? Or over... crap, it's not exactly an embarrassment of riches in terms of great men on this show, is it? Then why can't we have a story with men battling it out over one of the women (...cue Howarth's return? please?)? And hey, Cristian's still single! WHY DOES NO ONE NOTICE THIS?

Oh well. Destiny out! (of virginity?)

Comments

[Kristen]

While I immensely enjoyed marty's total descent into crazytown...i spent most of the episode shaking my head and turning to my mother, who was also watching with me (again abc, thanks for killing a soap for generations of people)...and continually asking WHY THE HELL WOULD 3 WOMEN FIGHT OVER JOHN FRIKKEN MCBAIN??! And poor poor Brody. Only one to step to the plate and he doesn't get a break--not even one of the 3 children he takes care of are bio children. Although I have to say, this Tuesday's episode was like a Friday cliffhanger. Can't wait to see what they are going to do with old Todd's return! BTW LOL to the conclusion to this post...Destiny out! (of virginity?)

[C]

I love how Natalie keeps asking for cute little Liam's moral advice on whatever she's doing. Adorable.

I'm still holding out hope that another rewrite will make Ryder Brody's and that Ford will get hit by the bus that's transporting Nate, James, and Inez out of town for good.

[soapbaby]

Another great post. I agree Kristen, it did feel like a Friday cliffhanger episode. Lots of activity and it appears Joey has gotten a clue about Aubrey. Bravo! Although I do love Terri Conn, the character of Aubrey has been a waste.

Marty going batty over John McBain?! After all she has been through from rape and re-rape, a murdered husband, a murdered child, and her son in prison. John McBain?! This is a weak story and lazy writing. I enjoyed Marty and Natalie's rivalry before Marty went off the deep-end. Instead of salvaging the character after St. Ann's, the writers decided to write her out this way. Susan Haskell is wonderful to watch and her scenes with Melissa Archer and Gina Tognoni are spectacular (this is the most I have enjoyed Gina Tognoni since her return). Sadly, I have loved and invested years into Marty Saybrooke and wish for a dignified exit from Llanview.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

I'm a day behind and can't see this until tonight, but I'm SO looking forward to it. Knife fight, y'all!

And I know a lot of people are screeching and squawking about Marty being "ruined," but she's about a thousand times more interesting a character when she's crazy, so I don't care. Yes, it's lame that she's going off the deep-end for John McBain, but, you know, if you think about it, it makes PERFECT SENSE! God knows he drives me crazy.

[soapbaby]

yeah, the knife fight was pretty awesome.

[Ron]

This show is so good when they keep the focus on the A team. Days liek this make the Fudds and all their lookalikes fade away completely.

I've only seen Marty since this last return, and I've liked her a lot. A whole lot. While I'm not liking her going homicidal crazy in the abstract, I am LOVING watching Susan Haskell. She's fantastic. And Gina Tognoni, as has been said in the above posts, is really good here too. Gnat, on the other hand....just doesn't do it for me. No matter how many things she either sets in motion, or deliberatly makes worse, she always sees herself as the victim. And her concern for Brody will pass quickly, since it doesn't fit in with what she wants. And that always comes first. Actually, I think she's a perfect mate for McPain, he's really no different.

Brody....I love this character, and this actor is so quietly fantastic. I hope that somehow the DNA tests were screwed up and Ryder is his. Fudd and all his minions need to be hit by a bus, and soon.

[LoriK]

I enjoyed the visit to Crazytown, but I was distracted. First by the complete lack of logic involved in women fighting over Mopey McBain and second by the fact that Kelly really should have left. When someone is that nuts you leave and call for help from the safety of your car as your driving away.

Word to everything you sad about the stupidity of Nat being so excited that John is Liam's father. I hate pretty much everything about this WTD? story and if Show doesn't, at a minimum, re-Lovett Ryder I'm going to be pissed.

[Andrea]

Nat's not even 1 minute of concern for what this would do to Brody really pissed me off. They seriously better make it so that Brody at least has one bio-child on the show before it ends. He has been amazing with Bree, Ryder, and Liam and Ryder really needs to be his.

[Bourgeois Nerd]

KNIFE FIGHT!!!!11!! OMG, I think I orgasmed. That was just sheer awesomeness. SH is having a ball, and I'm right there with her. Artichokes! Sex addiction! BROKEN BOTTLES!

[LadyBug]

Whoa! OLTL has been cancelled and GH is still on the air? Ugh.

SH and GT were both all kinds of awesome yesterday. I was concerned at first about Marty going off the show crazy as a loon, but I quickly got over it based on Tuesday and Wednesday's episodes of OLTL.

Natalie is an idiot. John treated her like poop on a shoe and now she's looking to get him back because of Liam being his son? Ummm, Natalie, you were better off with Brody as the baby Daddy, at least he treated you with respect even after you let him believe he did not father your child.

[oltlgirl]

"Because this is a soap opera and children are currency for looooove." Love it!

And after all the paternity issues are solved, these 2 babies will disappear with some randomly named nanny (anyone remember "Kim" who was Kevin & Joey's nanny for like, forever?) and will rarely be even spoken of, unless they get kidnapped.

Oh wait, the show is cancelled, so we may not ever get to see these kids again.

[LadyBug]

Yes, I remember Kim the Nanny for Kevin and Joey, plus Viki had this awesome butler back when Kim was on the show.

[Holly]

I just read a spoiler about Clint and how he will get the help to live. I love Clint, but I will be so upset if it's true.

[rameau]

I stopped watching the show a while ago, but I'm still writing Brody/Natalie fanfiction in my head. I ignore everything else.