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« A New Approach (or For The Sake Of My Sanity) | Main | A List Of Things I Couldn't Possibly Care Less About, In Brief, Part I »

June 02, 2011

Begrudging Props For A Wholly Unexpected Source

In the grammatically tortured words of Paul McCartney, it's an ever changing world in which we live in and, for that reason, I cling to the comfort of things I know I can count on for certain. Most of those things come from General Hospital, since it hasn't changed for the better part of a decade and a half. And yes, that is epically frustrating in its own way, but I have to admit that when life goes topsy turvy and I don't even know which way is up, it's sort of nice to turn on GH and know for sure that things haven't changed. That Sonny will say something self-absorbed and douchey. That the camera will linger on Steve Burton's face as Jason does something heroic and/or selfless. That Abby will blandly offer Michael platitudes and smile wanly. "

And then a day like today comes and everything goes LOCO! Abby, who we've all come to know and abhor as a simple-minded girl with a horrible taste in boys, started thinking for herself and making sense and having a point and LOGIC and my mind is BLOWN!

Abby: I don't want anything to do with the mob. I don't want to be surrounded by the violence. Or the risk of going to prison. I have no doubt in my mind that your dad and Jason are honorable men, but they are exceptions to the rule. Most mobsters are more like Brandon and I ended things with him because I promised a better life for myself.
Michael: Abby, I can give you a better life. 
Abby: No, not like this. The danger is over, Michael. I'm practically cleared. I want to get out of this before anything starts back up again. I'm asking you to forget about the mob. For me.
Michael: Look, Abby, please don't do this. Please don't be another person in my life who's telling me what to do.
Abby: I have to be honest with you and to myself. If you work with Johnny, I can't be with you. I'm sorry.
Michael: I can't lose you. I love you.
Abby: You don't have to lose me.
Michael: Trust me, okay? Just trust me that I know what I'm doing.
Abby: If it means you working for Johnny, you need to leave.
Michael: I love you but I can't let you control me.

My first reaction, which I practically shouted out loud to my living room, was...well, it was actually, "Michael, you are a tool". But my second reaction was "You go, girl!" which was surprising to me both because it's a quote best left in the late 90s and also, it was directed at ABBY! Abby, who has displayed the intellectual curiosity of a garden gnome and inspired nothing but eyerolls and vitriol since her second appearance. Abby! She was allowed to take an adamantly anti-mob stance and remind Michael that Jason is a hired killer! She put herself first and didn't immediately capitulate to the demands of her teenage boyfriend. Unexpected high fives all around!

Lest you think that the latest GH era is all about CHANGE, this also happened:

Sonny: Why does everything have to be an ultimatum?

Sonny Corinthos, who gives an ultimatum even when he's ordering a latte, petulantly gripes about the unfairness of ultimatums. Self-absorbed and douchey. The world hasn't entirely turned on its axis.


Well...except she said Jason and Sonny were honorable men and exceptions to the rule.

But there's NO consistency on this show. (When are we done with the Guza stuff?--and will it REALLY change if they have the same EP?)

We've spent endless weeks (though it seems like years) with Michael crying, screaming and pleading it's all about Abby. And the very second she says no to the mob, he chooses working for Johnny over her.

Aren't these actors embarrassed?

I endured yesterday's show because I heard all about how "awesome" Abby's truth-telling was. I no longer trust those people.

First, yeah, Abby told some truths, but that delivery IS awful, and it really wasn't all that awesome. Second, they just totally shat on their own "Luke goes to rehab" story. Way to go, show! Third, can someone tell me what's so "hoochie mama" about Kristina's new look? Because I've seen seven-year-olds nowadays in more revealing outfits. Fourth, Molly is VERY, VERY ANNOYING. Fifth, Michael is just about the least-mob-looking wannabe-mobster ever. If he pointed a gun at me, I'd just pat his head and give him some cookies. Sixth, MB must IMMEDIATELY SHAVE! Because not only does that scruff look awful, but it's coming in salt-and-pepper, and the thought of him with a Just For Men ink-beard makes me shudder. Seventh, him and Brenda are sooooooooooooooo boooooooooooooooooooring.

@ Bourgeois LMAO about patting Michael on the head and giving him cookies.

And really, I think Kristina looks very nice in her new look, classy and not slutty at all (not that I know what she had on yesterday, but the day before she looked nice). I think the only problem is that the actress looks a bit younger than the character is supposed to be, but really, have these characters seen what is being sold in stores for teenagers and like Bourgeois said, the young girls department? Because they are skanky. A nice sheath dress with pretty jewelry? Not so skanky.

Well the irony of all that was Alexis worried about Kristina's fairly tasteful clothes, when her other daughter is the queen of skanky dressers.

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