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« How Utterly Non-Soapy | Main | Oh Look! Someone Left This Script Lying Around... »

July 26, 2011

I'm Sorry, I Just Hallucinated

If you had told me a few months ago that in one episode of General Hospital, I'd get...

...a beautifully acted scene between Steve Burton and Leslie Charleson

...Patrick and Robin ADORABLENESS

...AND! A surprise appearance by Nikolas, presumably to have some meaty goodbye scenes with Lulu (and, hopefully, Alexis) to complement the ones he shared with Lucky

NikI'd...well, I'd probably look at you with sad, mournful eyes and say, "In a few months, I'll still be watching General Hospital?" and sigh the heaviest of sighs. But after that, I'd laugh! And say, mid-scoff, "You're crazy. I like you, but you're crazy".

But today, all of that happened. All of it! And it aired on network television, not the elaborate alternate reality version of General Hospital that sometimes runs through my head while I daydream because:

Thank you for being a friend, Mr. Wolf.


Let's start with the most shocking part of this entire episode.

Drug Dealer: What's up, player?

Are we really supposed to believe that this is a dangerous man who has done hard time? Because I'm seeing less "streetwise drug dealer" and more "first designer cut on Project Runway".


And then the second shocking thing: Jason and Monica shared a scene filled with grief and harsh words and Monica actually appearing onscreen.

Monica: I think I've been to every medical convention on the planet. I've done that to avoid going home to empty chairs at the dining room table at a place that I used to call home. Then I learned there was another empty chair that my grandson would have sat in. A grandson I didn't know I had and I will never know.

Monica: Then I lost that little boy and then I lost that bigger boy in a car accident, when you changed and you left the family. Became a different person and I'm not trying to be cruel, Jason. I just want you to know what that loss meant to your father and meant to me.
Jason: I know. I thought I was doing what was right for me.
Monica: Really? Giving Michael to Carly, and Jake to Elizabeth, without any choices?
Jason: I thought I was doing what was right for them, too.
Monica: What about what was right for us? What about us making some decisions? What right do you have to do all that? If you wanted to make life or death decisions, you should have become the doctor you set out to be, not whatever it is you are now. Maybe if you had done that, Jason, maybe we wouldn't be mourning the death of a little boy.

Leslie Charleson was so good (and I'm just excited that Monica is a person again, not someone being randomly paged in the all too infrequent General Hospital scenes taking place at General Hospital) and Steve Burton did a really great job with all of his reaction shots.


Kristina is giving me some serious secondhand embarrassment. Going to Johnny to have Ethan fired and then staring at him, smugly and happily?

Kristina: You care enough about me to push me away, but I'm not going anywhere.

Ugh, I actually shuddered. A full body shudder.

I know that Ethan is interested in her and that she is exactly right about him (homebody's not good at ALL about fooling people into believing anything. I like that he tried to keep up the ruse about hooking up with Abby by actually saying that he only pretended to be with Abby! Fool!), but whenever her mooning eyes and epic overconfidence make an appearance, I find myself thrown with full force into awkward adolescent flashbacks and just...cringe. Like, today, I just had the most uncomfortable memory of the summer I spent a few weekends with a friend in Seaside Heights and had the most ridiculous, embarrassing crush on an older boy who worked one of the rip-off stands--sorry, "games" on the boardwalk and I would just sit at his booth and talk to him (or talk AT him) for hours. And he was so nice, and made smalltalk with the besotted and possibly dangerous tween staring at him with puppy dog eyes who would then go back and analyze every single second of the conversation. "Do you think he likes me?" NO, Middle School Mallory, he did not like you! BECAUSE YOU WERE 12! Ohmigod, even remembering it is so embarrassing (why I have chosen to share all of this with the internet is completely beyond me), but Kristina made it all come back! It's like PTSD.


FYI, Helena?

Helena: I want to help liberate Luke from his family ties. And he will be so grateful! Gratitude always begets more sway than control.

That is just...stupid. On every level.


Today's show also made me laugh two kinds of laughter.

Laughter #1: Actual amused laughter.

Sam: We've got to take responsibility when the responsibility is ours to take and from what I know and what Jason believes, you are not responsible for Jake's death. And yes, we lean on places that we know will hold us up and that's why you're here. And I understand that.
Elizabeth: I don't know why, but that really helped.

"I don't know why, because Sam never has anything helpful or interesting to say and I didn't even know she could string a sentence together, but that was almost sort of useful!"

Laughter #2: An unhinged, "Are you serious with this right now?" sort of titter.

Siobhan: Do you want to kill somebody? Wasn't Jake enough?

I know that ripping myself off, especially when all I'm ripping off is three words that I used to describe an almost identical line of WTFerry right down to the players involved, is the height of laziness, but: I'm sorry, WHAT? Is she...I...I cannot. I cannot with this. All of Siobhan's dialogue lately seems to be a series of escalating attempts to find the most offensive combination of words known to man.


THe Monica/Jason scene made me deliously happy. Mainly because it wasn't just "someone finds out about Jake and is immediately perfectly understanding about Jason's deep and unending pain and is surprisingly perfectly ok with everything because Jason knows best".

I choose to beleive that the Sibs/Helena nonsense was part of the loose ends that Garin himself has said he had to really clean up when he first started.

Boy, has GW got a lot to clean up. But this was very good start.
I hope part of the clean-up is booting Siobhan back to Ireland soon. I cannot stand another vile word out of her mouth. It's too much. And it makes Lucky look stupid for wanting to stay married to her. He hasn't heard most of the ugly things she said to Liz, but where are his instincts about people? He should be more street smart by now.
I just loved everything Monica said. The truth is a beautiful thing.

The show was an improvement for sure. I was appalled by Siobhan's behavior and her consistent throwing Jake's death in Liz's face. The Liz/Sio scene at the end of the show led to me believe that Sio's malicious behavior has been ramped up because she is on her way out. I would be perfectly fine with her meeting her demise over the edge of GH. Sio has gone too far and there aren't too many options for her. But of course, I thought the same thing about Lisa Niles...

Loved how much Liz we got today and she shared poignant scenes with JaSam. That scene showed real growth on Sam's side. Any one else notice that JaSam are only interesting when interrupted by others? That couple is mind-numbingly dull.

There is so much to clean up with this show, I don't think I'll be excited for a few months. Helena makes no sense and definitely not interested in seeing her and Lante mix it up. I dread Luke's inevitable return so I disdain all the conversation about him.

I know this may be an unpopular opinion but I do not see the point of having Ethan or Johnny on the show. Johnny in particular has not been interesting since Claudia was in the show and I definitely do not wish to see him shirtless. Sorry. Brandon Barash is a charming actor but Johnny Zacharra serves no real purpose.

I adore how Monica keeps mentioning how's she been away at every medical convention known to man. Hee.

It was a joy to have Monica back. Now maybe she can get through to Michael, who has become intolerable to watch. (Can Shioban take Abby with her when she goes?)

I like Johnny, especially when he has someone to talk to other than his insane father (I am really over Anthony's tics.) His scenes with Ethan this spring made Ethan tolerable. And I prefer if Maxie can't be with Matt, that she and Johnny have a fling (better than Spinelli).

Ethan should have been Robin's brother and Johnny/Maxie in a marriage of convenience would give more story to the couple and tick off Mac!

It's about time that Monica found out about Jake. Of course, since she stared at the little boy three years ago in the park and did not comment how much he looked like Jason makes Monica's observations about Aiden looking like Lucky really dumb.

Sam still has not obtained that GED. How sad.

It's nice to see Liz/Jason actually having more scenes on the show. I guess Frons must be too busy with his new reality shows!

"Sam still has not obtained that GED. How sad."

I agree, so sad but so true. May I quote this when dealing with rabid JaSam fans on the other soap discussion sites? Seriously, I wish Sam was a fully-realized, independent woman but rather we have a mindless Jason Morgan groupie.

I think Ethan should not exist.

I enjoyed the Monica/Jason scene and then Sam had to go ruin it for me. I was just floored at her rudeness. Like it wasn't bad enough that she eavesdropped on Jason's talk with Michael and then went out on her own and hired a hooker for him. (Yes, GH you can try to sale the whole 'she wasn't paid for it' but at anytime if a person feels comfortable enough to walk up to a woman and ask the woman if she will have sex with a complete stranger, she's a hooker) and thus beginning the torture that is Mabby, but now Jason can't even have a convo with his own MOTHER without her listening in on it. And really, her excuse is that its an occupational hazard because she's a PI. Um, no, that's just plain nosey. Then to top it off we have to listen to some story about Danny that has nothing to do with what Jason and Monica. Then it gets worse because she listens in on Liason's convo. She was out of the room when Elizabeth told Jason how she was feeling guilty about Jake but yet she knew exactly why Elizabeth was there when she offered her words of 'wisdom' after she had to discuss a lug nut because its not a ring that Elizabeth didn't even ask her to explain.

Irish, just no words for that madness there. And I laugh all the time at her whole thing about trying to 'save a life' from Elizabeth considering that the whole point of her coming to town was to help the Balkan kidnap/kill Brenda. I really just want Elizabeth away from Lush period so if it takes Irish having a brain injury and having surgery then she's out of Elizabeth face and Lucky and Irish can ride off in the sunset together...I'm all for it.

I'm happy that the madness that is Lante's adventure is about to come to a close. Wish that Helena had stabbed Lulu but that's too greedy of me. Overall a pretty good show...I didn't do a lot of WTFs so that's always an improvement.

for the first time in a LONG time I actually enjoyed the majority of an episode of GH!! I still can't believe I just wrote that lol! my favorite part of course was my HOT, SEXY, BANTER, FUN, SCRUBS!! and both Kimberly and Jason looked super hot!! and they showed Kims tattoo!!! So far so good Mr. Wolf. So far so good. Hope to see more of the old school from like as far back as the late 90's GH back on our screen! Wow what a difference a REAL writer makes!

In my humble opinion, since Lisa has been carted off to the looney bin/jail, TPTB have decided to turn Siobhan into the worst kind of harpy on the planet. Seriously, I get that she doesn't like Elizabeth, and she's entitled to her opinion, but accusing her of killing Jake, and insinuating that she's using the death of a child to lure Lucky back, is horrific. Did the brain surgery take out the compassionate part of her brain? Can we thank Dr. Matt Hunter's clearly inferior skills compared to his brother for this? Because it's disgusting and I hate watching it. I don't think I've loathed a character on this show as much as I do Siobhan. Even Lisa was entertaining.

OK, "first designer cut on Project Runway" made me laugh way too loud for waaaay too long. Kudos! My day is made. Now to go back and read the rest.

I take back everything I said yesterday...I was SO excited to see GW take over and now....they've basically been cancelled. I'll watch till they go online, but I have a bad feeling it'll have to be pay to watch then, and that I can't do. Rats. However...loving me some Monica. That was a long time coming. I really like Kristina, but that Ethan thing...I just don't know. I never thought he fit anywhere and he just seems like he's fifteen years older than her. It's weird and makes me uncomfortable.

Siobhan is a flipping nut. She targeted Elizabeth at the hospital and, once again, threw Jake's death in her face (seriously WHO does that???). Then, when Elizabeth is rattled and goes into the nearest supply closet to calm herself, Sio comes back and talks about how Elizabeth's behavior is unprofessional....when she's the one who upset Elizabeth in the first place....and tells her to get help. If anyone in that room needed any type of professinal help, it's not Elizabeth. The latest accusation is that Elizabeth now wants to die so she can haunt Lucky b/c she has nothing else going on in her life and her other two kids don't need her at all.

Then, she goes to Lucky as if she's concerned about Elizabeth's grief and talking about how upset she is, when she failed to mention why Elizabeth got so upset and that she tells her she killed Jake every chance she gets. I'm glad Lucky finally shut her up, but he should've done that a while ago. I just don't get her. Suddenly, Elizabeth is the cause of all her problems. And she's a stalker to boot! Instead of going home and recovering from almost dying, she follows this woman to the roof and starts taunting her.

Really, if she ever brings up that lawsuit again, I want her to be reminded that she worked for the Balkan and is presently in a fraudulent marriage. I just can't with that bitch and hope Elizabeth punches her in the heart.

I pretty much loved the entire episode. The only thing that bothered me was Sam eavesdropping on Jason and Monica's looooonnggg overdue convo, but overall, I was happy with it.

Helena was spot on about Lulu trying to be an adventure girl and like her mother instead of finding out who she really is. Lulu just looks ridiculous and needs to go home.

There were Alan, Laura, Stavros, and Stefan mentions; a Nikolas appearance (!); Monica in the flesh; full Helena scenes througout the epi; and Lucky putting his foot down.

There weren't any signs of Michael, Abby, Carly, or Sonny.

Why hello, Garin Wolf!

KatT--what do you mean they've basically been cancelled?

Soapbaby, feel free to use the GED quote!

Just saying if they have been bought or optioned or whatever by Prospect Park, I consider them fried. I never bought the BS ABC was selling when they said "well, we have Katie Couric, and they might move, and we might rearrange our lineup" and so on. Yeah, there are still only so many hours in a day and I couldn't for the life of me figure out where GH would air. I probably misspoke when I said "cancelled" though. Just moving, I guess. Apologies.

Much of Tuesday's show made me vaguely uncomfortable - Siobhan saying awful things to Elizabeth, Sam saying her mother made Danny live in the basement, that odd note that made Alexis break out in a sweat and then the candles flickered, the awful drug dealer, the stupid food thing between Robin and Patrick, Ethan being stalked by a child, and today Shawn telling that awful war story. I do hope GW is simply setting up story lines. And please let him find a story line for the awesome Johnny.

Jason:"I thought he'd be safer with Lucky & Elizabeth."

HE WAS! Jake was safer with Lucky & Elizabeth! I'm so sick of everyone on the show implying that Jake would have been safer and still alive if he'd have been raised by Jason. Look. At. Michael.

Jason should have raised his own son.

I never bought the whole "barely recovered drug addict" with verbal and abusive tendencies was a good choice to parent either one of Liz's boys and I still don't. Cam is seven years old and Lucky still has yet to adopt the boy, while Sonny adopted Michael not long after Carly dropped her panties at the penthouse.

Liz had to withhold telling Lucky that she was not carrying his child because he would have gone back to drugs and recently almost started drinking until she told him that Aiden was his son. If Jason's lifestyle made him unfit to be a father to Jake then so should a man who falls into a bottle of pills or booze when his life falls apart.

I came back a month ago in hopes that Garin Wolf would turn this Titanic of a show around. And I hate to say it, but my hopes are up already. (But if the show gets great again and then gets canceled, I may never recover!)

The scenes with Monica and Jason were some of SB's best acting in years. And there have been so many references in the past couple days to the show's and characters' histories. It's like the collective amnesia suddenly wore off and everyone got their memories back. Wahoo! I'm not sure why, amidst that, we have to have the absolute offensiveness that is Sioban every time she opens her mouth.... but I digress. Please let the scenes today be foreshadowing that she's going to fall off the roof... oops, digressing again.

I know I might be among the minority, but I love Ethan and Kristina. I think if she wasn't in Ethan's face with her "I know you like me" bit all the time, it could take another two years for them to get around to where they're headed. I do hope she tones it down once he finally gives in and admits he has romantic feelings for her, but I can deal with this for now. Not like they get all that much screentime anyway.

On a more general note, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm watching GH on the ABC website, just so that I can be counted as a viewer. Although if I have to sit through the previews for "Charlie's Angels" for the 57th time, I may have to poke out my eyes- and ears- with knitting needles. But I'll do it if it means we can save the show, and I'll do it with a willing heart. And possibly gritted teeth, but hell, I've always been a team player.

For the amount of medical conventions Monica would have had to attend to cover the absence she's experienced on GH in the last eternity, she should have cured cancer, AIDS and global warming by now. She also should be able to:

1) Transplant heads onto other bodies.
2) Perform successful mermaid-to-human surgery.
3) Remove tattoos obtained on night's too drunk for common sense.
4) Turn water into wine.
5) Change the sex of babies in utero.
6) Transform dogs into unicorns.

The woman should be a deity of the medical community by now. Come on Monica, bring Jake back to life. Surely you learned that in 128 years on the medical convention circuit?

I'm there with you Ladybug. I for one hate when they have people going on and on about what a great father Lucky has been when they constantly show him putting his needs before any of his 'children'.
Poor Cam always remains an afterthought to him and I'm really happy that Lucky never got around to adopting Cam.

And I have to say this because it irks my nerves horribly when Lucky keeps bringing it up. How he's so worried about Aiden because he might get the Spencer 'gene' of addiction. Newsflash, there is no Spencer gene of addiction to alcohol. Let's see. Lulu, not an alcholic. Ethan, not an alcoholic. Bobbie, not an alcoholic, Ruby wasn't an alcoholic. Carly...guess what, she's not an alcoholic. Michael, although stupid, not an alcoholic.

Only two people suffer from this supposed 'gene'. Lucky and Luke and I'm really on the fence about Luke. Lucky's problem is that he's a weak man with an unfounded 'hero' complex that constantly needs his ego stroked and all eyes on him. Now that is the Spencer gene because as far as I can see, majority of the Spencers have to make sure that people are constantly paying attention to them or 'worried' about them.

omg..the show is a MILLION times better this past week.

I love the interaction of many characters,the quick scenes, and best of all it is no longer the Sonny Corinthos hour!!!

I would like for Sam to stop talking in that low muffled, boring monotone voice.

Very happy to see Monica and Jason, and scrubs again.

When Sonny was standing on the steps in Bensonhurst, I kept hoping he'd trip, hit his head, and die right there. Bye bye Sonny!

I'm liking GW's writing so far.

Time for Siobhan to go.

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