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« I'm Sorry, I Just Hallucinated | Main | Flesh to Touch, Flesh to Burn! Don't Keep the Vicker Man Waiting! »

July 27, 2011

Oh Look! Someone Left This Script Lying Around...

I wonder what it's for! Oh, I see. There's some scenes where Starr is hanging around in a park flirting with some guy who's not her boyfriend. Ooooh, relationship conflict! Maybe a love triangle? Oh and they kiss, and she pulls away and insists she has no feelings for him! He thinks they have a connection. Methinks the lady doth protest too much! This is gripping and has never been done before. Clearly this is a brand new script and not one left over from last year's completely identical story. (I guess Baz loses Lothario points for not kidnapping Starr, though.)




Then why does it feel so familiar? I simply cannot figure it out. This is totally the first time in the history of ever that Starr has met some new guy and had random flirty banter with him that causes trouble with her boyfriend.


You know, I try to be nice and understanding about the fact that soaps inevitably have to recycle similar stories over and over again -- it's part of the nature of the duration and frequency -- but really. This was Starr's most recent major storyline. And they couldn't even change the setting?! I swear last summer and fall we were stuck in that park with James and Starr in at least 40% of the episodes.


Bree now refers to Ford as "Uncle Bobby." There is no reason to dignify this with a creative insult or description of how quickly I lost my lunch.

Also, Ford commenting on how Jessica's being "decent" is enough to make me apoplectic (again). Gee, Ford, then you might have wanted to actually try working out a custody arrangement with her instead of making her crazier, doing everything you could to make sure she was kept from her son (and daughter who is now so inexplicably fond of you), abducting her, assaulting nuns, sexing up her alter and, you know, just generally making her a victim of your sick sexually exploitative tendencies. Just a thought, fucker.


Upside of yesterday's episode (outside of the Todds): Viki and Jess talked about Tina (and old-Todd-new-Todd)!

Jessica: Well, you're getting along just fine without Aunt Tina, aren't you?

Viki: No, that's not true. I always thought it was but it is not true. 

Jessica: Mom?

Viki: Honey, I regret so much about that relationship. Tina and I were both very stupid and we lost our chance; is that really how you want it to be with you and Natalie?

Yay! Viki regrets how she left things with Tina! Is it September yet?!

Then, when asked by Jessica if she thinks someone had surgery to look like Todd used to...

Viki: Well, I suppose it's possible, I mean Todd had surgery to look like Walker Lawrence.

Jessica: And he hasn't been the same since.

Viki: Why do you say that?

Jessica: It's true. You know, he's still Uncle Todd, he's just different with me.


Viki: But you've never said a word about that!

Jessica: I guess I've just gotten used to it. 

Viki: How is he different?

Jessica: I don't know, he's distant. Even for Todd.

Viki: Darling, he adores you.

Jessica: No, and I love him. It's just...it's just not the same. You know, but maybe it's me. I've changed, too.

Viki: Everybody changes. 

Or maybe they don't, Viki! Admittedly, this is a bit of a stretch. When TSJTodd first came to town, he cared about Jessica a great deal and expressed that under the guise of his being Walker Lawrence, Jessica's biological uncle. But even after the reveal, the two of them were still close for quite a while. Clearly that evaporated (most notably in his wildly revolting behavior toward her and her baby during the "rapemance" which played a very large role in Chloe's death) so I admit this is one time that I don't mind a little rearranging of the chronology of events. And speaking of chronology, it looks like RHTodd's presence in town is going to be made known to the people who knew him almost a year to the day that this seed was planted. Well done, show.


Ford needs to die. I cannot believe that Jessica would have her daughter be around the man who raped/kidnapped/kept Jessica away from Bree and Ryder for so long. This propping and white washing of Ford is beyond ridiculous while poor Brody is being destroyed. There is no way that Brody would be doing something like this again since he suffered disastrous consequences for pretending to be Shane's father. I hate this show.

I seriously just posted a very similar rant about the Starr/James/Baz triangle over on TWoP. Heh, great minds think alike, and those minds hate Ford (Uncle Bobby?!?!).

I hate the Ford propping and Brody destroying so much that I can't even be coherent, let alone clever about it any more. Whoever wrote the "Uncle Bobby" line needs to be kicked hard in a vulnerable spot.

The Starr/James/Baz triangle is also just terrible. The only way they could make it even a tiny bit interesting is for James & Baz to follow their true inclinations and hook up with each other.

Starr is such a great character, and these newbie losers are the best they can do. I hate them both, honestly. I didn't even know TWoP HAD a soap section. I need to look harder.

Why are the bad storylines always the ones that are shot on-location? I remember the early Morasco Fiasco was a lot of outdoors shots, and the teens always seem to get the natural lighting. I guess no one wants to contaminate the studio with them any more than is necessary.

But, OMG, Louise, I loved Viki and Jess's conversation for the exact same reasons you did! I loved Viki talking about her regrets about Tina. Not only was it nice seed-planting for September, but it also really makes sense in terms of her determination to see Jess and Natalie reconciled. She doesn't want them to make the same mistakes her and Tina did. I also liked the Todd stuff, especially since I didn't watch TSJ early Todd stuff, so for as long as I've been watching there really hasn't been much of a Todd/Jess relationship.

And I have to say, as much as the Ford propping enrages me, in a totally tired way, I don't think Brody's being destroyed at all. I've actually been quite pleased with the way his keeping the secret has played out thus far.

Forgot to mention two things:

1) I did like Starr telling Baz to drop the attitude, because YES.

2) I also loved Viki's gentle, "Bitch, this is MY house!" to Jess.

C, great minds indeed!

Bourgeois Nerd, I hear you on the holding-off on Brody's "destruction." What he's done in the name of keeping this secret hasn't even come close to scratching the surface of what Natalie spent a year doing on behalf of her lie -- and she's the female lead of the show and obviously not supposed to be under any buses. He's going to have to do a lot worse than what he's done for me to be too enraged. At the moment, I do think it's out of character, but it's not as infuriating as it could be. (We'll see, of course.)

Watching Fudd yesterday wax rhapsodic about his day in the park with Jessica and the kids was vomit-inducing, and I was going to blather about it here, but then I thought, what's the point? I do it ALL THE TIME anyway, and I'm running out of ways to express how much I loathe Bobby Fudd and all his ilk. But, then, you did it for me, so very, very well!

I guess we're supposed to think Bobby Fudd is now a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllly good guy, because he talks softly, bats his eyelashes, and look soulfully at everyone, including his brother. For a minute there I thought he was going to plant a wet one on him too.

The character is atrocious, and frankly, the actor isn't much better.

I hate all things Fudd, but I hate this one the most. And Jessica is REAL close to joining him on that list.

You see, Louise, I don't think it's out of character. He did the same thing with Shane. Dude wants a family, and doesn't care about the kid's biological paternity. He's an honest, upright man, and I do think they're showing that he's conflicted about what he's doing, but he does have flaws.

The scene with Vimal last week really, I think, showed that, at least for right now, we're not supposed to applaud what he's doing, but at least have some sympathy for him.

The "Uncle Bobby"-line made me delete the episode from my DVR without watching the rest. Thanks for the recap because I could not watch Terd. Seriously?! I got the strong impression Viki was okay with the pairing, so fuck OLTL. I am so fatigued by my Terd-hatred, I need to prep to watch OLTL with silent meditation to endure these days. Ugh.

I laughed out loud remembering BN's joke a few weeks back about Starr needing a "slampiece" for the summer as teenaged girls sit at home watching and "breathlessly" wishing to be her. Hilarious. I have no new comments about the wasteland of character has been for over the past four years. Ugh.

I agree with Bourgeois Nerd. Brody could be treated a lot worse in this storyline, and I liked how he's interacting with Vimal so far.

I really do hate the Starr storyline, but not just for the reasons here. As much as I think Ron C. has been good for the show, I really can't help but notice how all the young female characters have no characteristics outside their love interests. It's kind of true for all the twenty/thirtysomething women (like how quickly Natalie being groomed as Clint's successor in BE got dropped after Jared's death, and Jessica being a journalist barely gets a mention once a month) but it seems especially true for Starr. What's she majoring in? What does she want to do after college? This doesn't even come up in her dialogue, much less as possible story material.

I thought what Jessica said was a breaking-the-fourth-wall joke, because they are both recasts...

Um... When they did a casting call for Baz (really? Baz??) did they list that all actors must look like a teenage Bruno Mars? I kept expecting him to start singing about how he would catch a grenade for Starr.

Frankly I would love to see Ford AND Brody catch the next bus out of town. Jessica is wicked awesome and totally deserves better than either one of these two (why oh why did you have to kill off my beloved Jared, show?).

As for Starr and Baz...um, I like her hair much better pulled back.

I was so glad that Viki told Princess Jessica that Llanfair was her house! What a spoiled and whiny brat.

Team Brody all the way! Seriously, if the roles were reversed, would John hand over Liam to Brody? I don't think so! Especially if it broke up his happy family with Natalie and Liam.

I really hate when soaps pimp certain sleazy characters like the guy that slept with Jessica.

What is the point of Baz? Tomas did not need a child to be an interesting character and he was already tied to Tea and Dani.

One of the things that has truly irritated me about OLTL over the years is that Viki forgives all of Todd's crap, but when it comes to Tina she can be way too hypocritical. I am looking forward to AE and JL coming back in September as Cord and Tina.

I wish the show would stop trying to prop up Ford. It's gone on way too long! James and Baz and Nate and Rick should get together and ride off into the sunset.

It makes it even better that Starr's wearing the school colors for my junior high. It is so shiny and new seeing Starr meet a guy which causes problems with her current boyfriend. May she not end up pregnant.

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