There's Something Stuck In My Throat

Y'all probably knew I couldn't resist, but before I get to dealing with this weird lump-thing in my throat: the effing tape is back. Close-ups, serious musical underscoring, the whole deal. My apologies to anyone who does find the Natalie's-babydaddy story to be riveting entertainment still, but I call mercy. Can someone please just overhear Brody monologuing to Liam about how he's not his bio-father? I do not care. I'm fine if this story gets resolved in one single solitary solo episode. I've been sick of that damn tape for a long time now. I want someone to crush it. Crush it. Let the ghost of Dr. Buhari come hover over John and Natalie and Brody and tell the truth and everyone can look at each other all "Oopsie" and John and Natalie can have their boring Cool Kids reunion and Brody can go freak out somewhere giving intense looks all over the place, but can it just happen now? And quickly?

Also, Dorian and Kelly don't actually get exit stories? Seriously? For serious? Really? They just get exit reasons? I find this so difficult and preposterous to believe that I'm assuming they've got something in their back pocket and we'll see them after these exits again. Are they going to be in Blair's story about Todd at all?! Yes, they are. Of course they are. This couldn't be as ridiculous as it seems. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be. It's fine by me if David goes off to do a Swedish art film (I've always thought he'd be great opposite Liv Ullman, haven't you?), but for Dorian and Kelly to just jaunt off like this? With nothing? Nothing? I don't accept it. I simply don't.

Tea and Blair were pretty funny today all testy with each other, though I'm glad Tea finally admitted that Blair wasn't actually evil (and come on, has been a damn good friend to her), and Florencia Lozano was adorable kicking things over in the house in that cute little sundress and I cannot wait to see what she does with whatever is handed to her tomorrow. 

But... the Todds. Trevor St. John was phenomenal today. I might sound hyperbolic, but he did fabulous work when Irene told him he's Victor. The not-Todd Todd.

If I thought the Emmys next year were going to do anything more than a cursory nod at OLTL since it'll be over by then, I'd say St. John and Roger Howarth and Erika Slezak and Jerry verDorn and Kassie dePaiva and Florencia Lozano and half the damn cast would get nominated for their work. They won't, and I say that because I live on Earth and breathe air and those are the prerequisites for knowing that won't happen. But really. TSJTodd, who I mostly loathe (not the actor but the character in the last few years, and I won't even link because it's like 80% of what I've complained about here that isn't Ford-related) (shit, I'm sorry I tainted this post with the F-word... that F-word!) the last few years, just about broke me. I can't wait to see what St. John does with this material the next few weeks.

When I say "just about broke me," it's because I have to give due respect to the (yes, totally manipulative, and I'm a sucker) thing that did break me, which obviously started with the great moment of Viki (who... oh my Jesus, can we talk about Erika Slezak and her eyes today??) just breaking down and laughing at all this, and then saying she couldn't believe she was laughing at it and then...

Todd: That's...the only way, really. (Long pause.) 

Viki: Wow.

Todd: Can I have a hug?

Viki (about to fucking break into pieces): My brother doesn't like hugs.

Todd (at this point Louise about to break into pieces): Your brother was locked up for eight years. The only time anybody ever touched me was to torture... I could use your hug now.

I have no descriptor words. I have to go gargle or something because there's something in my throat. Something.

I hate you, Show! Stupid, mean, emotionally manipulative, breaking-my-heart, making-me-cry Show!

That's all.

Comments

[LoriK]

You had something stuck in your throat? How odd, I got something in my eye at that exact same moment.

Todd & Viki broke me too. And I actually felt sorry for Junior and until this story I was so over TSJ and his Todd, I can't even tell you.

You're right about the rest of it too. I can't believe they couldn't come up with a better exit for Dorian Freaking Lord (I don't care about Kelly much. Or really at all.)

I know the bus is coming for Brody. I hate it, but I've reached the point where I just want it done. Dragging it out like this is annoying as crap.

I also have no interest whatsoever in the adventures of Twitchy!Rex and his dead not-wife, Ghost!Gigi. I can't believe that the bullying story has ended up leading us to a strip joint in Kentucky. Why to be focused and topical Show.

[LB]

Freakin A. I hate that TSJ finally decided to show up right when they are writing him off. I hate it. It reminds me of how much I loved him in the beginning and how much he's let me down in the past few years. He's soooo good when he wants to be. And if he had continued wanting to be good, I would have been more conflicted about which one should be the real Todd. Those few moments with Viki comforting him - gah.

Then Viki at the end with real Todd. RH just conveying so much hurt and pain and then over her shoulder, anger.

I cannot tell you how happy I am that ES got to play a significant role in this reveal.

[soapbaby]

^^ LB: I share your sentiments about ES being significant in the reveal. I really didn't think the writers would write Viki in this way and I am so happy they did.

I disagree about Trevor St. John "phoning it in" over the past few years. I think he has always brought his A-game but the writers wrote Todd poorly. With "The Tale of Two Todds" TSJ has seriously kicked it up in higher-gear. Gosh, I wish TSJ (and Robin Strasser) would stay until January :-(

[C]

Considering how bad Kelly and Dorian's exits are looking to be, I expect even worse for poor Cris with his random two second cameo today.

[stlbf]

How can a show be this fantastic and yet be as equally horrid on the same damn day? Two Todds stuff? Outstanding! Mesmerizing. I couldn't turn away. The rest? Boresville, USA.

Ghost Gigi? The only way I could care less is if the Fords were somehow in it. And Dorian pulling some sort of "Mrs. Smith Goes to Washington" crap is the only way the writers could explain her leaving? Really? The woman has family who live out of town and yet they couldn't use that to explain her absence?

Kelly and Joey? Nobody cares. Nobody.

But damn it, Dorian deserves better! David preparing to leave for Sweden to do a film? Eh, I really don't care to question it.

Good? Tea and Blair. Anger between them is always awesome and entertaining. Blair apologizing to Tomas? WTF? Why?

ES,RH and TSJ were outstanding today. Todd wanting a hug from Vicki? Heartwrenching. Wow. Can't wait for tomorrow.

One question. Does anyone else want to see Irene asked why she had to torture her other son for eight years? I'd even settle for her just saying that she believed that he deserved it for being a rapist. Rather than just for the hell of it.

[Sarah]

Soapy perfection, ES RH & TSJ were beyond entertaining. They make me forget the wild implausibility of this story line and just relish the history of this great soap. I wish Dorian had more story, but I adore her anyways. Crazy Stupid Love for OLTL!!!

[CZ]

Since when does Blair owe Tomas-- the guy who she is NOT dating and who was involved in kidnapping her children's father-- anything?

But more importantly, TSJ, RH, and ES all killed it today. "Can I have a hug?" Gah! But then the wide open eyes when he got the hug... it's about to hit the fan.

Go OLTL! Please don't ever resist posting about this. :)

[Bourgeois Nerd]

And here I enjoyed the show top to bottom! You know, I don't need big exit stories for Dorian and Kelly, especially Kelly. I think Senator Lord ("And won't THAT show Viki!" = perfect) is a great idea.

And David and Rex? Were hilarious. I'm intrigued by Cutter's connection to Spotted Pony. I love Madame Delphina and Roxy. Yes, I just want the damn Liam reveal to be over, but it looks like we're getting some actual movement on it, and soon, so I can forgive The Damn Tape showing up again. (Poor Dr. Buhari's Ghost, still involved in this mess.) Overall, just a great show, I thought.

But of course the Todd stuff was just stellar. The Hug! And TSJ, who I've never been a particular fan of, just about broke my heart. I can't wait for today and him and FL.

[Knope]

I still care very much about the Liam paternity story. A) Because it involves a lot of the characters I love the most and B) because the story when it first started over a year ago was pretty damn fantastic. Therefore, I want a satisfactory resolution. I agree that they've dragged it out too long and I'm sick of the tape, but I'm still interested. It seems one of the reasons it's been dragged on and on is because The 2 Todds have pretty much take over the show (not that I mind too much). I loved the scenes with Natalie, Roxy and Delfina today. They were entertaining and finally the story seems to be moving, if still too damn slowly.

Speaking of which, TSJ was amazing today. Too bad he's leaving. It seems playing Victor Jr. finally got him to act again.

I don't care that Kelly doesn't have an exit story. Her return and all her bad stories were an epic failure. If she went up some stairs and never came down again, I'd be happy.

Dorian is another story. I hate that she's leaving and I think it's ridiculous that she's going to become a US Senator because of the old senator's sexting scandal. Has the governor not heard of Dorian's numerous and epic scandals? What a silly exit. If I don't get at least one scene of her and the real Todd, I will be pissed as heck. I also need several scenes of Dorian and Viki. Several.

[Judy]

I'm not unhappy with Dorian becoming a Senator. It beats the hell out of the silly stuff with David that I was imagining they would do. I was sorta hoping that her aside the other day about killing Victor was foreshadowing, but at least being a Senator is dignified.

Stlbf, yes, I too am waiting to find out WTF all the torture was about. What about the "It," that Baker was ready to kill Todd for? It's like they just brought RH back without an effing clue what they were going to do with him. And now they've mentioned the torture a hundred times so they'd better explain it! And "It!"

[oltlgirl]

I haven't looked forward to a soap this much since Luke & Laura were on the run!

I was sorta hoping for a clone story (not!) although that wouldn't be anymore far fetched than this. So campy...just love it!

TSJ's reaction was great, cannot wait to see more. And ES & RH - well they are just golden. I heart OLTL.

[Dawn]

I was bawlinng like an idiot during that last scene with RH and ES. That was the most touching thing ever. She got her brother back. :) It was also touching her scene with TSJ before he left the house. Her apology to him and him saying "It's okay, I know who I am". Did you notice him trying to get closer and closer to her as the story went on as if to say "tell me it's not true"? He looked to Vicki to try to make it all better and in the end she couldn't. That was sad.

[Holly]

I hope we get at least a few more weeks of TSJ as poor Victor so we can see much more of the twins together. I agree with all that was posted. Awesome wonderful soapy goodness!

On to Rex and Gigi:
For some reason there are a TON of Gigi fans(I actually didn't care about her) and I know they are pissed that she was killed off and want to bring her back. I think they are going to play it that Stacy was alive and had plastic surgery to look like Gigi. Then she had Gigi kidnapped and she is being held hostage at the Spotted Pony while Stacy was living her life with Rex and Shane. Stacy died and Clint got her heart. That would explain why the heart was a match. Stacy and Clint both had the right blood type for Shane when he was sick but Gigi did not. We all know that Stacy didn't die when she fell through the ice. The feet.. the shoes from Kim. Plus they are bringing Kim back so I bet she helped Stacy somehow with the whole evil plot. I know.. I know.. we just had the old plastic surgery to take over someone's life story but you know how they love to repeat things! That gives an adventure story for Rex, David, Cutter and then Gigi to return for the happy ending that the fans wanted.

Crazy I know.. but it could happen!

Oh and why don't Cutter and Aubrey GO away? Seriously. Why are they still in Llanview?

[Cindy]

I haven't been watching the story play out (just seems to be too much trouble to watch on ABC.com, but I've got to tell you, that recap (and screencaps) with RHTodd and Viki just made me burst into tears. Now I'm going to have to watch the past two episodes.

[Andrea]

Tomas really needs to stop being so desperate. Give Blair some space already!!! And her apology was total BS. I can see her forcing herself to move on with Tomas because she's afraid about going back in the Todd cycle will do to her.

TSJ did awesome yesterday. He definitely won't be letting go of being Todd though nor would I expect him to because it's kinda hard when you still think you are.

And boy is Irene a pure psychopath. She tortures one son and then gives her beloved Victor plastic surgery without any remorse. One messed up lady.

Loved the RH and ES hug and RH's look of anger at the end. He's going to be lashing out now and I expect Blair is going to be his biggest target.

[LoriK]

"Oh and why don't Cutter and Aubrey GO away? Seriously. Why are they still in Llanview?"

According to spoilers it's because Cutter has A Secret related to one of the people who is returning.

[Soapbaby]

I post on several other soap sites and have never come across a fan of Rex/Gigi. If Holly is right about the Ghost-Gigi s/l taking this turn, I will slam Carvialti. Rex/Gigi are not a great love story worth this bullshit. Ugh.

[Andrea]

How adorable was Todd with Hope and Starr today?? And I loved Todd telling the Beauty and the Beast story with Blair listening because it was so about them!

[LogopolisMike]

I like to pretend that the reason Dorian isn't getting a real departure story is because they are going to surprise us with a "Senator Lord from the Great State of Pennsylvania" spinoff. Because that was my first thought when I heard why she was leaving and I would so watch that show.

[Sparky]

That hug moment is the bestest soap moment I've seen in eons. It completely wrecked me. And despite the high camp, it was based in history and real emotion. Win, win, win.

[LadyBug]

I have always enjoyed TSJ's portrayal of Walker Lawrence and then Todd Manning. Irene said that Victor was "special" and I can't help but think that the way Todd was acting with Starr and Hope was a little on the "special" side which makes me think that Todd#2 is really Todd! I'm probably wrong, but it did cross my mind as I watched Todd#1 with Starr and Hope.

John McBain should NOT procreate! Ugh. I hate that Natalie is going to be permanently tied to that douche bag.

Kelly and Joey are so snooze worthy that they could have left town last month and no one would have cared.

Senator Dorian! I expect that Dorian will go see Viki before leaving town.

[Holly]

@LoriK
Yep. Kim is returning. I'm sure she's been stripping at the Spotted Pony and that is where Cutter knows her. Of course David has been there as well so I wonder how he missed Kim?

On the OLTL Facebook page,and on the ABC forum, tons of fans LOVE Gigi and were devastated by her death.

[Soapbaby]

@ Holly - I may very well be incorrect and Gigi may have fans but I don't think that warrants a reversal of the characters's death. Especially if the reversal means a very convoluted, doppelgänger story on the heels if "The Tale of Two Todds." If Carvialti moves forward with that nonsense, I may tune out until the show's final week. TSJ and RS are out in September, so I can stand not following. A Gigi doppelgänger is worse than "The Bag of Blood" or anything with Mitch Lawrence. Ugh.

And here's ugh's doppelgänger: Ugh.

[LoriK]

@Holly: The spoilers I've seen indicate that Cutter knows Kim from way before the Spotted Pony.

I don't want to say more since I have no clue how to spoiler tag here (or if the site even supports it).

[LadyBug]

Gigi and Shane were okay until they added "muggy muggster" to the mix!

[stlbf]

Today's show. Wow. KdP and RH brought their A game! Of course Todd blames Blair! Which just shows that he really is Todd. He still has his temper issues. He can't blame the kids. He won't blame Vicki. Irene(who deserves all of the hatred) isn't important or close to him anyway. Victor will get more than his share. Tea will get some of the anger, but Blair will always get the worst of it. Due to the fact that Todd actually loves Blair. (And he knows that Blair won't truly leave him.) The only time it isn't Blair's fault in Llanview is when Kevin is in town. Which explains why Blair is always apologizing.

Manning central. I could buy Victor freaking out about Dani's freak out at the very thought of him not being the real Todd. And in a moment of panic decide to try to hightail it out of town with Tea, Dani, Jack, Starr and Hope. I didn't hear poor adorable Sam's name there. Was I mistaken? I remember Victor saying that he wanted to take Tea, Jack, Dani, Starr and Hope to Hawaii. I didn't catch Sam's name. Which would be interesting. Victor was uber upset @ the very idea of losing "Todd's" kids. But not a mention of his own flesh and blood child? One more Sam centered question/comment. Anyone else wish that Todd would've thrown Sam's name in to the mix(ala--'You even had a kid with him!') while having his hissy fit @ Blair? Since Todd really should have no clue that Sam was adopted by Blair as a baby.

Once again, the placement of characters in this storyline should've been tweaked a bit. Where the hell was Vicki? Why was Vicki with either Todd or Victor? Making sure that they were okay. Todd, I could buy her trusting him to go to Dorian's to reunite with the Kramer/Mannings. But why the heck wasn't she watching Victor? Making sure that he was okay and being honest? The man's entire world has literally been blown into a million itty bitty pieces by a sociopathic mother's plans. He is about to lose three of "his kids" and possibly his wife. Desperate people don't always make sane decisions.

Ghost Gigi is bad enough. I don't think that I could stomach a "Gigi is alive" storyline. The Stacy idea doesn't really work. Wasn't the whole thing with the Shane cancer storyline was that Stacy really wasn't a match, but she was just faking it to get in good with Rex? Clint was actually a match for Shane, but it also turned out that Mitch was too. So Clint decided to just stay out and be like a backup donor for Shane.

And let's just not even mention the F-word scenes. The FF button is a godsend.

Geez, I think that I've made this post long enough!

[Dawn]

He did mention Sam. Right in the middle of Starr telling everyone, when he was still in denial mode, he said they should go to La Boule and get Hope and Sam and still go to Hawaii.

[CZ]

@stlbf: Great comment.

Todd actually does know that Sam isn't Blair's biological child. He saw a news report about the circumstances of Sam's conception online at some point while he was still lurking.