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« My Kingdom For a Redeeming Quality! | Main | So NOW Can These People Shut Up? »

September 28, 2011

Let's All Go to Camp!

I would be terribly derelict in my duties as a One Life to Live blogger if I just ignored yesterday's episode in its entirety, so let's quickly review the plain spectacular entrance of one Ms. Andrea Evans as Tina. The sequence was pretty pitch-perfect in terms of who they were re-introducing to the canvas. We started by seeing her dog, Princess David Vickers, enter the room first.


Which prompted a quick "What the...?" from Tea. Princess David Vickers then made a beeline to pee on Blair's foot. Which led to Viki realizing, with horror...

"I know that dog."

And then Tina came a-runnin' in with her patented look of surprise on her face, hidden underneath a hat that even Dorian might think a tad too much and quite possibly the most ridiculous head of hair Tina has ever had.


Which is saying a lot. (And this is no accident. This is not even close to what Andrea Evans' hair looked like in her last B&B appearance.)

Viki... was thrilled to see her little sister!


Subtle, Viks!

And then of course Tina had to get filled in a few minor details about some things that have developed in her absence...


"That voice."

That's right, Tina. Mommie Dearest is alive.

And since we're dealing with Tina Clayton Lord Roberts Rogan Vickers here...


...she fainted. "Rather dramatically," as Queen Victoria so dryly put it.

Which finally (and I only say "finally" because I can't make screencaps all day long, much as I'd like to) led to this most fabulous tableau of Llanview estrogen:


Only a be-hatted Dorian in this picture would make me happier.

I am so happy to have her back. And Andrea Evans and Barbara Rhodes are oddly perfect as mother and daughter -- the same kind of campy comedy style, true, but also in looks.

There's so much more to say about yesterday's show (caramels! "Give Grandma a kiss!"), but there's also today to get to! Today's episode brought more hilarious campy joy. Oddly, no one questioned how Victor-as-Todd drew up a will leaving everything to Irene, considering when Victor thought he was Todd, he also thought Irene was long dead. Everyone threw accusations around. Granny Irene's taken a shine to Jack! Couldn't have happened to a nicer kid! Blair called Irene a bitch and pushed her and slapped her and threatened her, a side of Blair that's always a welcome sight.

Today we also got this bit of dialogue:

Todd: Starr, please. Daddy needs your help getting out of jail.

Starr: Okay, let's do this!

Which yielded this absolute dynamite smile from Todd to his eldest gal.


Which led to one of those silly soap opera jailbreaks in which they hold guns on prison guards and talk about killing someone in front of said guards and expect to totally get away with it once they go exonerate the prisoner for the original crime because on soap operas, none of these things are crimes if you really had to do it because you were totally innocent!

I can't really address the horrible, nasty argument between Jessica and Natalie today because I just could not root for either one of them, nor was it any fun. They both have points and they're both being awful. Jessica has every right to be unhappy about Natalie and Brody, but she always keeps getting hung up on this class issue -- I can never root for someone who always jumps to "trailer trash" when furious at her sister who was raised without a silver spoon. And her inability to ever accept even partial responsibility for any of this isn't particularly sympathetic. Natalie has every right to find it beyond comprehension that Jessica can't (or won't try to) understand the hell she causes everyone when her alters are out, but to constantly suggest that there is no difference between Jessica's alters and Jessica's own wants and desires? If she really believes that, she should walk away from her own mother forever. I hold out some small hope that eventually we'll see that neither of these women believe everything they're spewing at each other and are only doing it out of hurt and anger, but I am sick to death of it. I haven't enjoyed anything about any scene with either Buke twin in a while. The fight choreography and direction were both good today, but when the characters aren't fun? Neither are their catfights.

This was all running concurrent with a discussion between Tina and Viki about their own sisterly relationship, which led to my favorite moment of the episode, mostly because it reminded me why I always loved Andrea Evans' Tina so much (unfortunately I don't have many positive things to say about any other Tinas other than Karen Witter's version). Her approach is very 1980's soap -- high camp, balls-to-the-wall hyperbole -- but when you need her to bring it down and show a little sincerity, she delivers. The contrast between the two makes it all the more effective, and she uses it well. Her "You have no idea what my life is like, Viki. And that was your choice." brought back memories of years' worth of these moments, the moments that make it hard not to love Tina no matter how awful she can be.

And finally, Clint got a surprise visitor at the end of today's episode. Any speculation? (No spoilers, please!) I'm hoping like a giddy schoolgirl that it's Cord.


I honestly think I am alone in the universe as the one person who loathes AE's version of Tina and I have watched her since before she married Cord. Plus I have seen her on B&B and she is exactly the same. The less said about Jess and Nat the better because we all know nothing is ever Jess's fault so this one more thing that the citizens of llanview can blame on the evil Nat for being with the fiancee Jess walked away from.
But Blair smacking Irene and Starr breaking Todd out of jail were both things of beauty. Love me my Cramer women and of course proud daddy Todd. That smile is a thing of beauty.

Everyone got to be awesome today in the Todd story. Well Todd was a little dumb in revealing his plan to the cops. But Starr was awesome - she looked pretty cool holding that gun. Blair was awesome - defending her children. Jack was awesome - reacting so perfectly to crazy grandma. Viki was awesome - standing up to Irene and scolding Tina. Tina was awesome - caring little of the death and more of the money. Tea was awesome - being the world's best lawyer of course (though seriously some of her logic on who the money belings to is lacking). Irene was awesome - so damn campy.

I'm going to disagree with you on the Natalie/Jessica fight. It needed to happen and I'm thankful it happened in a way where I hated both of them and was sympathetic to both of them. The Clint/Brody scenes also impressed.

So happy today. Also totally won't look at caramel treats the same way ever again.

And another great day - three in a row this week. (I hope that doesn't mean we have to watch 3 Fudds in a bathtub to make up for all the good stuff tomorrow.)

I've not been a Starr fan since I started watching OLTL, which was when she was first getting together with Mr. Potato Head, aka Cole. And since then, I think she's been awfully sappy with Howdy Doody Ford. BUT BUT BUT - I love her with RH Todd! Those two really act well together. Now, let's see him in an extended one on one with Blair, okay??

Irene's is certainly evil scary, and she's VERY good at it. Did you see how having Grandma Dearest's approval even creeped out Jack? And Tina's groveling was funny - and a little frightening, considering that Irene could just as easily shoot her daughter as give her anything. Vicki's outrage is perfect, but I don't think she really has a clue yet that this woman is in the Mitch Lawrence league of homicidal maniacs.

Tea, though, she knows she's dealing with a dangerous woman, and so does Blair, but neither of them know how dangerous, or Dani wouldn't have been left to run over to Destiny's. And Blair just might have held back her slap. But it was beautiful to watch!

The whole Brody thing confuses me. His conversation with Clint was very grounded, very Brody-like in honor and respect. And he told Clint a few home truths that Clint was honest enough to admit. If they're going to send Brody off the rails and make him some sort of evil crazy person, they sure are going at it in a strange fashion. Yeah, he's keeping John away from his own kid, and he's bedding down with Gnat (I hope he's had his shots), but mostly the guy still comes across as a true blue stand up guy.

I liked the Jessica/Gnat fight, mostly because of the history they invoked. They pretty much gave a rundown of the Jessica/Gnat relationship since Gnat came to town. And it doesn't look to me like the sisters are going to be making up any time soon. Too bad I don't give a rats ass one way or the other.

"...but to constantly suggest that there is no difference between Jessica's alters and Jessica's own wants and desires?"

The show acts like there's no difference between Jessica's alters and Jessica's Id. Jessica has repeatedly said that Ford didn't rape her because she consented to have sex with him. We're supposed to buy them as a potential pairing because he didn't rape her. If that's true then Natalie has every right to think the alters are what Jessica really wants.

Which is my way of saying that the show's attempt to have it both ways with Jessica's alters never stops pissing me off. The big cat fight just underlined that again.

LB, you're right, the Clint/Brody scenes were really nicely done. I neglected to mention them since they were so understated amidst all the insanity!

Ron, I, too, much prefer Starr this way -- out of relationship mode altogether.

LoriK, I agree that the show muddles the DID stuff too much, but I don't think they've suggested it's that clear-cut. Jessica doesn't secretly want to be hitting on Aubrey and Rama or marrying Cutter and ripping off her family, but that's what her alters are doing. I think the point they've tried feebly to make is that Jess bears responsibility because she knows the havoc her alters wreak and yet still lets them out (or doesn't fight them hard enough) when she doesn't feel like fighting her own battles. But it's not so much about the specifics of her alters' wants and actions that she's behind. It's a mess, but now they've got one definition of DID for Viki and a completely different one for Jess. ARGGGHH!

Or rather I should say they've got 7 definitions of DID for Jess (depending on what suits the plot that day), but about 1.5 for Viki. Hate it.

Well, I for one enjoyed the Nat/Jess cat fight and was looking for some missing hair and blood! lol. Yep, old Princess Jessica always throws it in Natalie's face about how she first came to town, but is unwilling to take responsibility for her own alter messes.

I love AE's version of Tina Clayton and the chemistry between her and ES. It really makes me mad that a stalker fan was the reason that AE left OLTL years ago.

Yes, Dorian should have been in those scenes at Victor's house!

I don't know why Viki, Tea, Blair, etc.. don't think that Irene is sinister and BSC considering all of the crap that she has done to her three children!

That "Women of OLTL" frame yesterday was a thing of beauty! And they totally did that on purpose.

Irene and Tina are just a delight. It's camp, but in Irene's case there's a chilling undercurrent that makes it delicious, and in Tina's, you're right, Louise, AE manages to give moments of sincerity that ground it. The actresses kind of do look alike, too, which is a happy bonus.

For once, Jack's look of befuddled panic was totally appropriate. I bet Grandma Dearest will have more affect on Jack trying a new life-path than anything Blair's been saying!

Brody and Clint was actually a really good scene. Natalie doesn't deserve my Dudley Doo-Right Pocket SEAL!

I'm in total agreement with you about the twins, Louise. They both said awful, awful things; there's no rooting for either of them. But, I admit, and it shames me as a feminist, I love a catfight, and those two really have needed that. Plus, BW and MA looked like they were having the time of their lives, and I love that.

Starr holds a gun better than Sonny.

In People magazine, it says that AE just battled breast cancer, which explains her hair.

Seriously, I love the crazy-gun-toting-caramel-giving Grandma Irene. I desperately wanted Grandma Irene/Jack scenes and I am so happy that the show gave me them. Jack is rightfully creeped out by her and whatever she dishes out to him, he rightfully deserves. Also, I really love AT's WTF facial expressions.

I think that RC wasn't in the office when they wrote yesterday's and today's scenes. Not only was Blair kick-ass, but Tea was mostly in the background. Since RC can't write for Blair and has a hard-on for Tea, there's no way those scenes would have been written with him there.

As for who Clint saw, if you look up the promo, you'll get your answer.

What can I say, OLTL delivered in such a big way! I loved the past two episodes after feeling the show was in a slump after TSJ's departure. Wow. For the first time in years the show felt predominantly female, I mean in that the women are driving story. I loved Blair and Tea in protective mode and Viki refusing to be a victim, Tina in all of her...um, well Tina-mode and Irene's glorious crazy! Starr making me pay attention and being bad ass while the Buch twins duked it out. I loved all of the feminine power on display. I hope OLTL maintains it because it's fascinating.

I loved the Clint/Brody scenes but I wish Clint was more reflective given that he set the whole paternity mess in motion with manipulating test
results. I love Clint but still feel he has gotten a free pass in all of his misdeeds. I wish Brody would've called Clint out but I understand why he didn't.

Any way, who else thought Brody picking up Natalie and carrying her off kinda hot? I know, I know kinda caveman but ooh, I love Brody! Also, I loved the cat-fight, sorry. I loved that the women had it out and I thought it was well choreographed. Team Natalie all day! Jessica provoked Natalie into saying what she said. Jessica's nasty and she admitted that she allowed her alters to wreak havoc on Brody when Jessica reemerged and found Brodalie in bed at Llanfair. After that, I was done with her.

. I think the point they've tried feebly to make is that Jess bears responsibility because she knows the havoc her alters wreak and yet still lets them out (or doesn't fight them hard enough) when she doesn't feel like fighting her own battles. But it's not so much about the specifics of her alters' wants and actions that she's behind...

Let's count the rewrites in the Jess/Ford/Natalie/Brody/John "story."

#1 Ford had sex with Teen Jessica. He knew she was mentally ill and he was aroused by this (based on an earlier conversation with Cris). Oh wait, actually, that was Tess, not Teen Jess. Oh wait, actually, that was Jess. She wanted to have sex with him, and Ford was so concerned that he asked her, DOZENS of times, whether she wanted to have sex with him.

#2 Natalie thought she had no future with John and had sex with Brody. Oh wait, actually, Natalie and John were happy and together and Brody and Natalie had sex with each other in spite of this.

#3 Brody, after some initial anger, quickly accepted that Jessica was carrying Ford's child, and wanted to raise the baby as his own. Oh wait - actually, as Clint (the moral arbiter who shunned his dying grandchild and put Nora in the hands of a woman-beating lunatic) just told us, Brody abandoned Jessica because he couldn't raise a child that wasn't his own.

So essentially, this "story" is so threadbare that the writers just feel free to ignore or rewrite half of it whenever they get the whim.

They keep trying to write this story as if Jessica and Clint are still good people. Jessica very likely allowed her unborn child to die of starvation and neglect. Jessica very likely let her nephew be kidnapped by a lunatic. And Clint is just an awful man who didn't care about his dying grandson and set his nephew up to have a mental breakdown and become a murderer.

With all that out of the way, I'd forgotten to mention how much I loved Blair slapping Mommie Dearest. That's the Blair I miss.

I honestly think I am alone in the universe as the one person who loathes AE's version of Tina...

No, waiting for wow, trust me you're not. We might be the only two but you are not alone. Truly. No one is alone.

Though I did like her way back when...like Eterna days, which I also loved, so my judgment may not be what people call 'sound' -- though I was also 15.

I honestly think I am alone in the universe as the one person who loathes AE's version of Tina...

No, waiting for wow, trust me you're not. We might be the only two but you are not alone. Truly. No one is alone.

Though I did like her way back when...like Eterna days, which I also loved, so my judgment may not be what people call 'sound' -- though I was also 15.

===So essentially, this "story" is so threadbare that the writers just feel free to ignore or rewrite half of it whenever they get the whim.===

Well said, Carl. And you laid it all out perfectly. Why should we care about the story when the writers don't? At least not anymore. This just seems like some tortorous vehicle to reunite John and Gnat. Just do it already and stop with the rest.

I'd like it if they could somehow do it without degrading Brody and further. And Jessica needs to be either backburnered, or have an immediate reset done on her storyline with the repellent rapist Ford. That storyline is a combination of repugnant and boring.

Louise - a present for you.


So are we all in agreement that the microchip Irene is so desperately seeking is in the the ring she gave to Tina?

I love how the bomb she hid is right in plain sight in front of the house. How can Irene know that EVERYONE who might have a claim on the Lord money will be in the house in an hour? It does give me hope that Irene getting everything from the Lord estate will be wrapped up pretty quickly if she's already planting bombs. She can only get away with so much.. right?

Both Victor and Todd thought their mom was dead. Who leaves their entire fortune to a dead person? Unless Victor was "programmed" to change the will before or after Irene made an appearance, this makes no sense. Also, some STRANGER with no credentials shows up at your house and claims to have your dead husbands will and it has to be read right then and there? Um.. no. Tea was Todd/Victors lawyer. She would have the will.. not some stranger. Plus all of those documents wouldn't be in this guys possession. The would be in a bank security box with only the executor of the will having access and ability to dispense. This entire plot line is so full of holes it's making me crazy.

I know.. I know.. it's a soap. Just go with it.

I haven't watched OLTL consistently in years, but I am enjoying the recent storylines.

So are we all in agreement that the microchip Irene is so desperately seeking is in the the ring she gave to Tina?

@Holly, I thought the same thing! It makes perfect sense.

@Soapbaby - Clint had nothing to do with Liam's paternity test. Natalie was doing that on her own, separate from anything Clint was doing. He did have Vimal change Ryder's and Rex's DNA tests, but it was a coincidence that Liam's test was there at the same time. If Natalie hadn't done a test, then Brody would have found out he wasn't Ryder's biological father and then nothing.

In fact, Liam's test wasn't even changed. Natalie knows the truth but has blocked it. Marty was holding the truth over her head. Now Brody is deceiving Nat for his own needs. None of that involved Clint.

And Brody's reasoning doesn't make any sense - if he and Natalie get married that will help heal the strife in the family? How? Clint didn't want to give his blessing because of the family upheaval already happening and because he believes Natalie really wants John. Giving his blessing would mean letting Natalie settle. And why do Brody/Natalie have to get married asap? I think Natalie's parents have a right to be cautious. So when Natalie finally learns that Brody is lying to her and deceived her into marriage, she can't blame anyone but herself.

@Emily - You're right. I never claimed Natalie and Brody were not culpable in any of this or innocent victims, they do to wish to make the best of a bad situation. I totally agree with you that getting married is not the way to do that but there is a desire to offer Liam some stability. What I like about Brody is that he has been steadfast in offering stability to Natalie, Jessica, Liam, Ryder, Bree and Shane.

My problem with Clint and Jessica is that they claim innocence. Clint behaves as if he has some moral high-ground to stand when he has none. That Clint has been absolved of all of his crimes, including falsifying paternity results which did set this in motion albeit unintentional that Natalie's test was tampered with.

===What I like about Brody is that he has been steadfast in offering stability to Natalie, Jessica, Liam, Ryder, Bree and Shane.===

Soapbaby, you described the essential Brody perfectly. The mistakes he's makiing now, IMO, are born of desperation from all the turmoil that has surrounded him since he was used by Gigi, deserted, (unwillingly, I know, at least to a degree, by Jessica) and took refuge in Gnat's arms. His intense desire to be a father, which has been denied to him at every turn, has never resulted in him turning away from any of the kids, and only away from the mothers reluctantly. I wish he had pointed out to Clint that he had had resolved his issues about not being Ryder's bid dad, and it was Jessica who pushed him out of that picture after she found out about him and Gnat. Brody, unlike John, at the time, was anxious to be Ryder's dad.
They guy has been shafted left and right since coming to Llanview, and even with the lie, he's still twice the man Clint or John currently are.

If he does get thrown under the bus, it's going to be hard for me to watch.

LB, thank you so much for that gift! It's amazing!!

Team Brody! Lol. Brody is desperate and that's what motivates him, not to injure or get revenge on anyone. He's badly to have a family and a shot at happiness. Plus, he stands up so straight and tall ;-)

@Ron - I'll have a hard time watching if Brody gets thrown under the bus, while Terd and Jolie go off into the sunset, happily ever after.

Clint has the same moral high-ground as anyone else on this show. Just because Brody usually is noble and upstanding but he's become desperate after having the rug pulled out from under him several times doesn't make him more noble than Clint in this situation. Brody is still responsible for how he chooses to act - and he's deceiving and manipulating Natalie into a marriage that she's not completely comfortable with. If he really cares about Natalie, he'd tell her the truth.

Brody claims to want Clint's blessing to make Natalie feel better, but I think it's more for his sake. Brody's looking to legitimize his place in Natalie's life. It's hard to believe Brody has purely noble intentions when it comes to Natalie because he's trying to keep his deception going. Clint wants peace in his family and he wants Natalie to be happy - he thinks this marriage is a mistake not just for Jessica's sake but for Natalie's too.

Natalie does what she wants to anyway. Brody suggested that Clint might not see Nat/Liam again if he didn't relent - but when has Natalie visited her confined father since she moved out of Llanfair or brought Liam to see his grandfather? And this is before Brody proposed (and Nat only accepted because she thinks John doesn't want her).

For the record, I don't like how any of them are acting - John, Natalie, Brody, or Jessica.

So Clint is supposed to torment himself daily over his crimes to prove how sorry he is? He knows what he did wrong and is paying the consequences - as a soap character he didn't go to prison, but he still almost died, needed a heart transplant, and lost his home, company, fortune, and freedom.

+++If he really cares about Natalie, he'd tell her the truth.+++

Emily, Brody doesn't really care about Gnat. He cares about the kid, he cares about being a dad. And he's desperate now, mostly because of how he's been used and tossed aside. There's no denying that he slept with Gnat, no denying that he's violating his own code by keeping the truth from John, but I also don't think there's any denying that he HAS a code of ethics and has tried to live up to it. It's pretty clear to me that he's uneasy, at the very least, about the cover up. Undoubtedly that's also about the fact that Gnat would dump him in a heartbeat if John gave her a wink, and he'd lose Liam just as quickly and just as thoroughly as he lost Ryder and Shane. He's acting desperate and he's not acting up to his own standard of conduct - and he knows it. I have a lot of sympathy for the guy because mostly he has put other people before himself. And now he's messed up.

Don't get me wrong, I love Clint. But Clint has done some pretty horrific things. Changing the paternity results is small potatoes next to what he did to Nora. That was horrific. And even if he didn't think Eddie would rape her (and I don't think he thought that far), he knew very well that he was putting her in some pretty dangerous hands. That alone, minus everything else, negates Clint's moral authority in talking to anyone about doing the right thing. He may want the best for his daughters, but right now that's all he has the right to do - want it. He's currently squandered any claim to any moral high ground. He'll get it back, but right now, Brody, with his sin of omission, is twice the man Clint is.

I'm with you Ron. I agree with your assessment. With Clint, his motivations are too thin or non-existent.

- He hates Rex because Rex is a gold-digger yet forgave Natalie who did far worse?

- Clint broke it off with Dorian because she framed/drugged Rex and as of last year hated Rex.

- Clint has known he was Rex's bio-dad but sat on the secret, blackmailing Echo to maintain the lie. Shane needed a transplant.

- He degraded Rex on the day he heard of Shane's suicide attempt and again on the day Gigi died.

- Clint took revenge on Bo/Nora nearly a year after they betrayed him, manipulating Matthew along the way.

What? In 20 years of viewing, Clint's behavior-shift made no sense. He's been too re-written.

Brody, on the other hand, his motivations are clear and he's been consistent in that. Hell, even Natalie's motivations are clear and I think she has behaved poorly. I love Clint because JVD is a great actor but Clint should have never be taken so far over the edge with no adequate reason. He is nothing like Asa because Asa would have never hired scum like Eddie Ford to kidnap Nora.

You're welcome Louise. As lousy an actor as AT can be at times, his reactions are always on point. I want more Jack and crazy Irene interaction.

Today was awesome too!

KA is SUCH A JOY in a non-romantic story!
I especially love how STARR did not waste one second doubting TODD, & was ready, willing & able to do whatever it took to bust him out!
They are a great team!

TODD: I have to figure out what to do about your crazy grandmother.
STARR: Addie?
TODD: Your OTHER crazy grandmother.

Holly, I'm so with you on the plot holes with the will. How about probate? How about an executor? Irene wouldn't get to move in and kick everyone out that night. Come to that, who reads a will after hours? And of course, the obvious that no one mentioned, about Victor thinking Irene was dead. DOH!

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