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« Changing Up The Recipe | Main | Honey Badger Don't Care (or Stray Thoughts for the Day) »

September 13, 2011

The Power of Goodbye

The closer we get to September 23rd and the end of ABC's broadcast of All My Children, the more I get sentimental about increasingly strange parts of the Pine Valley experience.

"TEAR! I'll only hear this theme song a few more times!"

"SNIFF! This could be the last time I see David Hayward get arrested!"

"SOB! How does Alicia Minshew manage to have such big bouncy curls with nary an appearance of frizz?"

"Mallory, why are you weeping?" "Because Krystal and then Liza and then they were talking and they said things and they were beautiful!"

I'm a mess, basically.

So today's episode of AMC was excruciating for me. The theme was friendship and so many of the friendly conversations we saw were wonderful and adorable; Jake and Ryan also spoke. But even beyond that? The actors. The actors so obviously love each other and were so clearly saying goodbye to each other and to their characters and to the show, and there was so much real emotion and it damn near broke my heart.

Before we get to the sad, let's start with the rage-inducing.

Jake: You're a hero. You don't like being called a hero.
Ryan: I'm used to it.
Jake: Thought I touched a nerve.
Ryan: Nope. I just don't really understand why people label me that way.

What a pity--Ryan and I finally have something in common, just as the show comes to an end! I especially like the tortured, resigned way he said "I'm used to it", like he was saying "It's routine, you know? All day, every day, people heaping me with praise and worshiping me."

Jake: I can think of some other names that are worse than hero.

Is that a challenge, Jake Martin? Thinking of names for Ryan that are worse than hero?! Serial Drama accepts your challenge! I'll start!

1. Douche
2. Baron Von Douchenstein
3. D-to-the-oosh.
4. Lord of the Douche People
5. The freaking worst.

  • Kendall and Greenlee had a sweet heart-to-heart over mocha hot chocolate (raise your hand if you would love to join these ladies for mocha hot chocolate? Or, since they are fictional, join Alicia Minshew and Rebecca Budig for mocha hot chocolate?) and it damn near gutted me watching these two together for one of their last times. At least we got some quality laughs out of it.

Greenlee: Thanks for being such a good friend. My best friend. The closest I have to an older sister.
Kendall: ...excuse me? Wait, wait. No, no, no. You're older than me.
Greenlee: I am not.
Kendall: What are you talking about?! Of course you are. You are!
Greenlee: Listen Grandma, age is nothing to be ashamed of.
Kendall: WHAT?!

Ha! It delights me that Erica's daughter is being called Grandma. Hee!

  • Oddly, the aforementioned Krystal and Liza scene was kind of nice. It's odd because Krystal is, as far as I can tell, universally reviled and Liza...Jamie Luner is many things, but Liza she is not. But they were entertaining today, bonding over their shared bad luck with the same group of men.
  • Man, though, we're STILL mourning Babe (who I'm sure will be back next week, alive and well and beyond fucking irksome)? I can't think of a soap character who has been grieved for so long and so loudly.
  • Scott and Colby? Adorable. Why do all of Daniel Cosgrove's roles end with his soap being canceled?! Because he is so cute and charming and I want him to be far more successful than he has been.


Hit me with a brick and call me Billy Clyde, but I liked Kwak and Liza too! And I never thought I'd ever put "like" and "Kwak" in the same sentence, unless it was "I liked the way the truckers ran over and over and over Kwak's dead body until she looked just like her possum casserole", but, probably due to an excess of "HOWTHEHELLCANTHISBEHAPPENING", I liked it. And I liked Colby's scenes too. Another first.

Brot and Natalia, again, very good and very touching. And she didn't yell. And I didn't hate Greenlee and Kendall. It's been a long time since I felt that way.

And then, Ryass the ThongMan and Jake. Joe Martin Jr. should just be ashamed of himself for saying that. Ashamed. Joe worshiped at no man's feet, other than Dr. Tyler, ages ago, and he deserved it. I wish Jake aka Joe Jr. had, instead of agreeing with the SpitMaster, had just gone ahead and done a proctology check on the Laveryoid by going down his throat with a speculum. Not even the ending of this show on broadcast tv is going to make me soften to THAT walking virus.

But you, Mallory, express Ryass distaste better than anyone!

Mallory, your list of alternative names for "hero" is most excellent. I'm glad to hear you're not wavering about Ryan in the end-of-show sentimentality we're all feeling!

As for the rest? IjustlovethemallIdon'tcare. This is way too sad.


You are amazing.

Today was shockingly touching. I watched it twice already. Lovely. Small, intimate character moments and no Project Orpheus! Who do I have to thank for AMC finding it's heart so close to it's television finale? Oh yeah, Lorraine Broderick and Agnes Nixon, that's who! Why have we been spending time on all of this "Back from the Dead"-ish when there are episodes like this that are so full of heart? I love David Hayward but it was nice to not see him for one day.

P.S. I still hate Ryan and Jake. I really don't see that changing. ;-)

My feelings are all over the place. I want it to end ASAP but at the same time i feel sad. This show has been so bad for so long, especially after Zachass came to PV. I swear i will never understand what people find ni him. He is a bad copy of Sonny (GH)and i hate Sonny. Why oh why TIIC think we love gangsters?

I love Ryan, i love Jake. Dont get me started on Kendall and MiniMe and their fake friendship.

Mallory, I'm glad I'm not the only one who was all schmaltzy. I thought I'd lost my mind watching this last night. Crying during Liza/KWAK scenes? Actually enjoying Kenlee scenes? NOT FF-ing scenes with Colby? It was madness!

If it weren't for the comforting, familiar feeling that is my undying hatred for our 'hero' Ryan, I would have thought I suffered some sort of mental breakdown. Which I probably will next Friday.


Oh, praise whatever God anyone believes in; Ryan finally after 12 years acknowledged his douchiness. For the brief time he was with Gillian, and a little bit with Kendall, I liked him. I haven't hated having him onscreen, but having watched AMC since the beginning, he sure did get an awful lot of screen time.

I, too, was having little weeping moments, but because I was also helping hubby with his work assignment, I had to keep rewinding, so I essentially watched many scenes twice (twice the weeping). I also made a decision to do the "keep forever" option for the last ten broadcast episodes.

That "Kenlee" exchange was brilliant and of course it was LB and AN acknowledging the fact that Erica can't be called Grandma. I have always liked them together, whether they have hated each other (c'mon, how great were they in the bridal shop beating each other up?) or loved each other (too many instances to note here).

Did like the KWAK/Liza scenes, too. Jamie Luner is not Marcy Walker, but she does do her best to try to make Liza something. Probably one of the worst casting choices ever, because she makes it look like Angie, Jesse and Tad went to school with Doogie Howser, but it is what it is. I was glad to see her reconnect with Colby - that was getting really old.

I, too, love Daniel Cosgrove - I hope he ends up (if not on PP AMC) in a really good primetime show that lasts for a really long time, shall we say, 41 years?

I know she's coming but I hope its only long enough to meet her twin, grab her son and run ... do not stop, do not reconnect with JR .. I was surprised I liked Alexa as Esther Drummond on Torchwood Miracle Day .. she still has an annoying voice but somehow when she isnt baby napping she's slightly more tolerable.

Didn't you all find the bonding session between Kwak and Liza heartwarming as hell? Or am I confusing that with heartburning?? And don't forget, Lil' Babydawwwwwl will poke her head out of the skunk's nest one more time.

And we got to hear the Carey mantra one more time - "We deserve the best". Yup, nothin like hearing the battle call of the show killers! Right there, yesterday, we saw the two attitudes that killed this show. Ryass as Hero, and those two skanks who deserved it all.

Did they deserve it all because of how hard they worked, or because of how smart they were, or because of how selfless they were? Did they deserve it all because of how staunchly they stuck to their moral principles? Nah, they deserved it all because they had big Kwakers they were willing to push in the face of any guy with more money than sense.

Oh, they deserve it all, alright. And I only wish they could have gotten it. But it wouldn't have been what they expected.

And Ryass, I wish he'd do one more heroic act and donate that botoxed, waxed, scrunch-eyed salivating steroided slab of over-exposed flesh to a lab for immediate dissection. Now THAT would be a heroic act I could finally applaud.

wow Ron you really hate Ryan. lol.

Kenlee was great. Until Greenlee decided she wanted Ryan. From that moments it was a Greenlee oriented thing. Kendall gives Greenlee takes.

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