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« Coming To You Straight From Cloud 9 | Main | Dumb Guys and Smart Mamas »

September 22, 2011

Uninspired Episodes Provoke Inspired Musings

Or... not really. Not at all. Today's a little crazy, what with lots of major things going on in the news, Mom and Pop being in town (it is so cute teaching them to properly swipe a MetroCard even though they've done it hundreds of times), my team having clinched a playoff berth today (yeah, yeah, make your assumptions and throw your tomatoes) (and whatever, it's Mallory's team, too, so I'm all over it, Serial Drama-representin') (sorry, Becca!), and a minor little thing called the third-to-last televised episode of All My Children (there's something in my eye!). So, what's this One Life to Live thing? Well, I might actually be able to pay attention to the show if I force myself to recap it! So here goes nothin'....

Tomas tries to offer Téa some comfort. I realize there was something else that happened prior to this but as it had something to do with confirming the second life of Stacey Morasco, I've blocked it out.

Dani goes to talk to Todd in jail and asks him if he killed her "father".


He said no.

Cutter confronts Kim about having taken the murder weapon, and Echo tells Roxy about the latest gun-related developments. 

I am seriously finding this difficult to pay attention to. Tomas and Téa continue to chat about how he only wanted to protect her, and then John and Irene have a conversation in which she is as deliberately vague as ever and John makes fun of her. Appropriately. 

Todd explains to Dani that Jack invented the eyewitness evidence against him, and asks her to believe in him. I mean she believed in and loved the other rapist daddy, why not this one??

Natalie chats with Rex about Brody's tepid proposal (I mean his super-romantic proposal, of course!). Meanwhile, John compares Irene to Medea which, really, Irene is way worse than Medea. At least Medea made it quick. And for reals, Jason really did dick her over. Come on! What did he and Creon expect?

Téa and Tomas continue their discussion. She is suspicious of him because he missed Victor's funeral, during which Tomas claims he was called to Langley to discuss how to neutralize Irene. This version of the CIA is a little pathetic! (Wait, wait, don't put me on a watch list please! I'm talking about a soap opera, it's a joke!)

Cutter barges into the hospital room where, ostensibly, Stacey sleeps. He seems shocked. Did he know Stacey? I guess we haven't really gotten all the details of when Kim and Stacey became besties and when Cutter last saw Kim. Oh wait, no, he doesn't know Stacey, he's only heard about her from Kim. It's "this" he didn't know about which, unfortunately, is likely the rumored "Stacey has Gigi's face now!" crapfest, the possibility of which is eating away at my withering soul.

John calls Irene a "go-getter" and still suspects she's responsible for Victor's death. 

Téa apologizes for lashing out at Tomas which... she didn't really do. I've seen Téa lash out. This ain't it. 

Uh-oh, here's where some of the standard Weezie apoplexy comes in. Dani and Todd are talking about how she had trouble accepting Victor being of things he did to Marty Saybrooke, only Victor "didn't do those things" to Marty, Todd did. That's a really good point since Victor treated Marty really, really super-duper well other than talking to her like she was dirt after he raped her. Which is also what Todd did. I'm still having trouble with this here! Oh, Dani was so hard on Victor for... doing a bunch of incredibly evil things. But now she's mad at herself because she was unfair to Victor? Because why? Because how? Look, Todd's a really bad guy with a heinous history. No doubt of this. So was Victor, though. Through and through. Two bad men. Who also did the occasional good thing and occasionally cared about someone. What am I missing here?

Dani talks about how Ross raised her and how much she loved him. Todd admits he and Ross were at each other's throats (you know, "Somewhere In the South Pacific") but that he's grateful to Ross for having been there for Téa and having done what appears to be a good job raising Dani. Todd asks Dani to convince Téa to help him prove his innocence. (Can someone tell Blair he's in jail? She'll get him an attorney, damnit! She'll travel to the ends of the Earth to do some sleuthing to prove the father of her children is innocent! Glurgh.)

(Todd doesn't mention that he left her mother and Ross to die on that island, but really, that's an issue for a later time! Splitting hairs!)

Natalie tells Rex that, basically, she's always going to be in love with John but Brody is a better boyfriend because he actually acts like he wants to be around her and is open with his feelings.

Roxy tries to convince Echo that if John McBain arrested Todd for Victor's murder that Rex is innocent. Because Johnny always gets his man. Echo remains unconvinced.

Kim and Cutter start talking about Stacey and I can't concentrate on what they're saying because of the overwhelming taste of bile in my throat.

Rex talks about his mistake of having married Adriana when he was really still in love with Gigi. Natalie's sure that John doesn't love her, though.

John sends Irene back to her cell, while Téa eats some food that Tomas brought her. He gives her an illustration he made of Téa and Victor and Tomas suggest drinking brandy. She foolishly turns this down. I could use some brandy right this second.

Dani challenges Todd when Irene is brought back to her cell and tries to introduce herself to her granddaughter Dani. Dani looks a little nervous, but Dani thought Victor was a wonderful man and didn't seem uncomfortable around him so I think she can handle being in close quarters with Irene. I doubt she could take a punch very well. Dani might just be able to blow out Irene's eardrums with a single word and render her entirely impotent. 

Cutter agrees not to tell anyone about Stacey.

Todd asks Irene what she wants.

Echo remembers when she forged Gigi's signature.

John warns Roxy about the no-planking-on-the-bar rule as he walks into Rodi's to find her climbing over the bar looking for a bottle. Roxy wouldn't turn down brandy! Natalie walks in and is obviously about to eavesdrop on a conversation between Roxy and John about her. 

That's seriously the end. I'm way too clogged up in the head right now to be able to even assess whether that was a decent but low-key episode or just really boring. I'm glad Todd and Dani got to talk, but -- and I know I'm a broken record on this -- I still lament how much better this first real conversation would be were it not mucked up by this cheesy "Who Killed Victor" plot. I'm glad John got to dish out some of his wry commentary at Irene, but... it's Irene. Who cares. I am not glad of anything involving the way-past-its-expiration-date business of John and Natalie and Brody, and Liam's paternity. I am really not glad of anything involving Stacey Motherfucking Morasco. And that's my final word.


It's so rare, Louise, but we totally disagree. I thought this episode was delicious, in an understated way.

First of all, Roxy and Echo? Really, really work. IK and KZ work very well together, and the characters just complement. It's also nice to see women "of a certain age" in a sub-storyline of their own.

Second, I kind of love Irene, especially with John. She's just so sinister, and yet darkly humorous at the same time. "I'm mourning on the inside." Heh. And I just love John in snark mode. His being strangled face made me giggle.

Third, I thought Todd and Dani was great. RH brought out some good stuff from KM; she didn't shriek once! Plus, Ross mentions!

Fourth, I like Rex and Natalie scenes. JPL and MA bring out the best in each other somehow, which isn't the case between them and just anyone on the cast. Plus, Adriana mention!

Fifth, I'm not all that thrilled with the return of Stacy Motherfucking Morasco, but I've resigned myself to it, even if I had some way better ideas for who could be in the hospital bed.

So in conclusion and in summary, you're wrong, I'm right, and yesterday was great!

As much as I love Kim, I'm getting annoyed about how much her return is centered around Stacy. She needs to be in way more scenes with Clint starting pronto. The only way I'll be happy about this Stacy nonsense is if it somehow leads to a Kish appearance.

Public service announcement: today's episode is supposed to feature all three Fords, in scenes together, talking about their pathetic love lives. Run for the hills!

Thanks for the warning C!

Thanks, C. I'll have my finger on the FF button the whole time.

3 Fords is almost as toxic as the premise of the "Contagion" movie. Almost, hell - it's worse!

Thanks C!

Oh, OLTL. AMC was wonderful yesterday and Monday. I wish that show did not wait until the very end of its television run to pull out all of the stops and make the show good again. OLTL, while in better shape than other soaps, has been running on fumes since the conclusion of The Tale of Two Todds. That was the last good s/l the show had and everything else is pales in comparison. Now that s/l is over and Todd's reconnecting with his family is hindered by this lame murder mystery. Rex and Jack are frontburnered and those characters should be supporting characters at best and not driving story. I love Kim Zimmer but Echo DiSavoy ran out of story months ago when Charlie left. Now, Echo has been reduced to an imbecile, signing away Rex's MILLIONS based on her assumption. WTF? This focus on Gigi/Stacey is absurd and not entertaining. The s/l around Liam's paternity has gone on too long to care, like a paternity s/l on Passions or DAYS. Tess returning and Matthew being out of commission. Ugh. I wish the writers would not wait until the bitter end to make the show good again.

I admit that I am a huge Trevor St. John fan so this may sound biased, but OLTL misses him desperately. As the show marches toward its conclusion, I wish TSJ would return. He made his every scene watchable, even scenes with the kid who plays Jack. This is not a knock on Roger Howarth, but I FFWD his scenes unless with Kassie DePaiva or Michael Easton.

Credit where it's due, I can't stand Rex but I thought yesterday he was at least trying to be a good brother. I'm also not John's biggest fan (understatement), but I like him in cop mode. I enjoyed his sparring with Irene.

I did not enjoy the continued deification of Victor though. I was watching the show. Victor was not a good guy, TSJ's acting choices often made him even worse than the script called for and no matter how many times they try to show Victor in a good light I'll never buy it.

Other things were also annoying. If Todd & Irene have one more conversation about "It" I'm going to scream. I have no idea who came up with this stupid Stacy storyline, but whoever it is needs a good smack.

I'm with Bourgeois Nerd on this one, Louise -- except for the part about hating Stacy's return 'cause I'm like 98% sure Farah Fath (she's still in the opening credits) will be the new Stacy to f*ck with Rex's head and I'm fine with that...

"At least Medea made it quick. And for reals, Jason really did dick her over. Come on! What did he and Creon expect?"

Louise, you and I should totally chat about Medea. That remains one of my absolute favorite debates in my lit class about a million years ago... split down the gender lines completely and really a lot of fun.

As to the show... this shit with Stacy is an atrocity. And then it makes me wonder... okay, so we've clearly got Stacy looking like Gigi and we've got Gigi's Fantastic Sam's spirit wandering around looking for a body to inhabit, I guess. So when Gigi's spirit takes over Stacy's body that looks exactly like Gigi and reunites with Rex and Shane... what does that mean for Jack? Do they still have a means of putting him in jail for killing Gigi when she's going to be making some sort of wierd paranormal comeback? (For that matter, does Brad get out of juvie when all that comes out?)

Ah, soaps.

The Todd/Dani scenes were fine. I loved that they talked about Ross in non-kayak killer terms. In fact, Dani said he was perfect. Ross adored Dani so much that it made it doubly hard to watch him get Rossened so that Victor looked 'good' in comparison (which he never really did.) Speaking of which, the continued canonization of St. Victor the Vastly Misunderstood is ANNOYING to say the least. The dude was not a good guy. Neither is Actual Todd but at least no one's trying to suggest that he is. He still raped Marty! They both did! Stop trying to pretend otherwise!

And I also loved when Todd explained that he left Tea on the island to go be with Blair... and he did that pause before saying her name again. (Le swoon!)

John and his strangle reinactment was awesome. If only he had channeled The Bloggess' Copernicus and finished it up with 'a hug is a strangle you haven't finished yet!'

It's "this" he didn't know about which, unfortunately, is likely the rumored "Stacey has Gigi's face now!" crapfest, the possibility of which is eating away at my withering soul.

Wow, this sounds like the worst idea ever. Worse, if Dandesun is right, it's a rehash of a story that wasn't all that hot to begin with (the Al Holden/Michael McBain kerfuffle).

I know I keep asking this, but wasn't this whole story supposed to be about school bullying? What the hell happened?

I thought that Todd did mention he left Tea on the island, to go back to Blair & his family?

Kerry, you're right, he did tell her he left the island for Blair and the kids, he just conveniently forgot to mention that he didn't bother sending anyone back to rescue Tea and Ross! Days went by after Todd's return until Viki dragged it out of him and called someone herself to go rescue them.

He said he left them there to die, though, didn't he?

Yeah, I guess that is a little bit of an oversight on Todd's part...oops! Selective retelling of history, it happens! Often in some cases.

Where the hell is Vicki now? I guess she's taking care of Ryder and Liam.

Is anyone still on board with the "Victor isn't really dead as Irene sent her goons in make it look like he was shot then dress as paramedics who acted completely unprofessionally while trying to "revive" Victor and then sneaking his still living body off to some secret compound"? I know I am.

I agree with Soapbaby in that there is a huge hole on OLTL without TSJ and his "air quotes" sending me into giggles. There should be this huge Victor/Jack alliance that totally ticks off Todd while Sam loves both men. Sigh.

Who in their right frame of mind would ever bring Stacy back to life as Gigi? Ugh. Gigi and Stacy should both be dead.

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