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« What is WRONG with Dante?! (and Other Pressing Questions) | Main | Curse You, Technology! »

February 19, 2012

Hatred. All Caps, Italicized Hatred.

I had a terrible time starting this post because all I could say--literally, all my fingers would type--was I HATE SONNY CORINTHOS. And that just seemed a lazy start to a post, because, for starters, of course I hate Sonny Corinthos; I have ears and eyes and watch General Hospital. DUH, I hate him. And also because I have been semi-obsessively cataloging my hatred of him through this blog for the past six years. Again, DUH.

But also...isn't "hate" a little to benign a word for the feelings we felt while watching Sonny broadcast, in technicolor, what a horrible little person he is on Friday's show? I mean, there's run of the mill hate and then there's shake your fists impotently at the sky and make horrible noises because you are too filled with loathing to even string letters together to form words hate. Spend an excessive amount of time searching Urban Dictionary for the perfect scathing putdown and rejecting them all for being too pleasant hate. The kind of hate that, ironically, has you acting out just like Sonny would.

At Sonny's benefit for Pulmonary Research (tagline: "because bad things can happen to your child's lungs if they get shot, especially if you weren't the one who pulled the trigger"), Johnny showed up in the midst of his downward spiral, all tousled and sexy and looking for a fight and also, whiskey.

Sonny: Your money's not welcome here. I know, tell you what I'm going to do: for you, I'm going to give $10 million to cover our donation as well as mine.
Johnny: Sonny, your money is no cleaner than mine. Everyone in this room knows it. Isn't that true, Dante?
Sonny: Don't disrespect my son, Johnny!
Johnny: What, you can't speak for yourself, Detective Falconeri? Maybe it's true. Maybe your love and loyalty are for sale. Maybe Sonny finally bought and paid for you tonight, just like he's been trying to do since he shot you, isn't that right?
Sonny: Get him out of here.
Johnny: What, you're going to kick me out for telling the truth?
Sonny: If you choose to stay, I'll just tell everyone the truth about you.

(As ever, please imagine that each of Sonny's lines contained at least one brutally long pause, as well as a few stumbles and painful grasps for the next word)

Approximately six seconds after asking Johnny to leave, Sonny ran out of patience with Johnny, because Johnny made the fatal error of ruining a night that was supposed to be about Sonny's son and all of the other residents of Port Charles who could, in the future, benefit from new pulmonary research. And the odds are high that they WILL need such research, because people in this town get shot so often.Sonny didn't envision spending the evening defending his horrendous life choices and his criminal enterprise; he pictured himself doing little more than basking in accolades and listening with a smug smile as the rest of town gave heartfelt monologues about how selfless and wonderful he is. So he hit below the belt.

Sonny: Tonight was supposed to be MY NIGHT, but I guess Johnny's jealous because he never had a father.
Anthony: Shut up, Corinthos.
Sonny: The woman that we all know as Claudia Zacchara...the woman that I had the bad luck of marrying, is not Johnny's sister.
Sonny: Mid_GHHD-02-17-1219338367

She's Johnny's Mama. See, what happened is Anthony needed leverage for a business deal he was doing, so he pimped out his teenage daughter and as a result is Johnny Zacchara. I know it's sick, I know it's sad and we should pity him, but that's why he's so jealous of Dante. That's why he ruined my night.

Let's count the things in that little soliloquy that are HORRIBLE besides the obvious "Sonny publicly humiliated this man in front of a room full of people because Johnny dimmed Sonny's sparkle":

1. "Tonight was supposed to be MY NIGHT". He actually SAID that. Because he is TERRIBLE! Here I am thinking it was Pulmonary Research's night or, at the very least, Dante's night. How wrong I was!
2. Technically, Johnny was in a grandfather-father situation, but he didn't know that; he thought he did have a father: he spent his whole hot life (really, am I the only one who thinks that Johnny is getting even hotter as he gets bothered? The poorer the decision he makes, the more attractive he becomes) thinking Anthony was his father.
3. Sonny had the bad luck of marrying Claudia? Like, he picked up a piece of paper to practice writing his signature and, oops, it turned out to be a marriage license? Shut up, Sonny.
4. That smile and the way Maurice Benard enunciated mama repulsed me.
5. It's sort of perfectly Sonny that he automatically assumes that everybody who dislikes a member of his family is a seething mass of jealousy.

The only--ONLY--saving grace to this horror show is that everyone in that room including the obviously uncomfortable extras reacted to Sonny like he was a tiny, toxic piece of wreckage. They hated him so much that they didn't feel secondhand embarrassment for the way he tried to recover from that outburst; they felt only a deep sense of glee that he was making himself look even ASSIER.

Sonny: Okay, uh...[...]I'm sorry for the, uh...[...]disruption. I hope it doesn't...just that, uh, I...I hope that everybody's willing to make a generous donation and that, uh...I'm sorry, and...uh, [with sudden cheer] have a nice evening!

Normally, I'd react to something like that by covering my eyes and watching from behind my fingers, but this time, I could only think, "Yes, Sonny, I hope you melt under the force of their withering glares".

Anthony, as you might expect, is out for blood. The man has no moral compass and has committed some depraved crimes, but he also has a way with words.

Anthony: I'm going to burn your life down, Corinthos. I'm going to make you glad to die.

Carly (!) was disgusted; Kate sickened (and self-absorbed, with that wailing she did about how she wanted to make things okay for Sonny and so on and so forth and not a single person watching even bothered to feign interest about any of it). Olivia was mildly displeased.

Olivia: Not one of your finer moments, Sonny.
Sonny: Johnny didn't leave me much choice.
Olivia: Okay, I get it. I get it! This night was supposed to be about our son and all you did was prove to Dante just how vindictive you can be.

And oh Dante, my Dante! Detective Falconeri had an impressive string of comebacks that could very well have been cribbed from Serial Drama commenters, so blunt and awesome were they.


Sonny, because antagonizing someone who already hates you is just seriously a great idea: Listen to me! Johnny's...I'm sorry he messed it up.
Dante: Johnny?! Johnny didn't mess this night up, Sonny, YOU did. You embarrassed the guy in a room full of people. Yeah, he was being an idiot but you didn't have to go there. But you know what? You did. You just proved to me that you're capable of anything. Maximum damage, Sonny.

Dante: This is supposed to be a charitable event. That's the only reason I showed up. And all you did was turn it into a mob war.
Why can't you just listen to me, Dante?! What did I do that was so wrong? [!!!!!!--Ed.]
Dante: Why don't you ask Johnny? Why don't you ask anyone who was there tonight? You don't deliberately humiliate someone in a room full of people.
Sonny: You saw him! He was drunk! He was...[grasps at straws and, triumphantly] HE CAME AFTER MY FAMILY! What do you think I was going to do?
Dante: He was reaching for a checkbook [the "you fucking dipshit" at the end of that sentence was totally implied]
Sonny: I'm still convinced he was the one who shot you. Or Anthony. And if they get a chance to do it again, they would.
Dante: You have no proof.
Dante: I don't want your damn protection anymore! I want you behind bars, where you belong! Until that happens, you are dead to me!

SLOW CLAP, DETECTIVE FALCONERI! SLOW CLAP! Until the shooter lurking offscreen shoots at you and Sonny winds up either injured our near enough to injury that he can play hero/martyr and then you get a bad case of the guilts about this stunning piece of truth-telling. At that point, I will roll my eyes mightily, but until then, enjoy my devotion.

Speaking of characters who will wind up seriously regretting their angry words for a family member, Maxie. Maxie is an utter mess of a human being who hasn't made a good decision in months and continues to needlessly antagonize everyone she comes into contact with. The way she continues to rampage about Elizabeth's web of sex and deceit is beyond tiresome--it did, though, give me one of my favorite moments of last week when Elizabeth sweetly promised Maxie:

Elizabeth: Until I get my job back, my full-time occupation is going to be making your life a living hell.

How pure soap was that?! And the saddest thing is that you could see a million little horrible plans unfolding in Maxie's head as soon as she said it. "Yeah, you think you're going to make my life a living hell? Well, I won't give you the satisfaction. I'm going to beat you to it and make my OWN life a living hell! HAHA! SLUT!"

But that's not the sad part-the sad part was how she reacted to Robin, who was at work, declining her invitation to accompany her to the benefit and do some much needed PR on Maxie's reputation.  She whined, she sneered, she played the victim...


Robin: Did you know my mom is in town?
Maxie: Wow, how nice for you that you have a mother who (A) comes to visit and (B) you want to see.
Robin: No, I'm telling you this because if I wasn't so busy with this research, I would be with my mom--
Maxie: I'm sure Anna gives you tons of advice that you love about relationships and stuff, but guess what, Robin? My mom is too busy to be bothered, so that leaves me with you.

Maxie: You really won't go to the party with me?
Robin: No.
Maxie: Wow. I cannot believe that you are making this whole thing into some teachable moment when the truth is, Robin, you'd rather stay here and work on headache medicine for Jason.
Robin: You're not a bad person and this isn't a lost cause.
Maxie: Honestly, Robin, you're so selfish sometimes.

Since Robin is, in all likelihood, dying (or "dying") this week, Maxie is going to have to live with the fact that she's a loathsome person whose last words to her beloved cousin were all about guilting her for not dropping everything to fix Maxie's problems. Also, she's the one who causes the gas leak that might eventually kill ("kill") her--I don't know if Maxie will ever find that out or if it will just be chalked up to a random accident, but when she grabbed her handbag, she caused the leak, which says a WHOLE lot about safety and security at General Hospital.

I cannot even talk about how these are some of Kimberly McCullough's last scenes (getting sneered at and talking about Jason! What an exit!), so I am not going to. Let's talk instead about how ADORABLE Emma is.

So damn cute!



And how ADORABLE is Anna?

Anna: You getting hungry?
Emma: Yeah.
Anna: Me, too. Maybe we can just leave your mom and dad a note and we can go off by ourselves.
Emma: I want a hot dog.
Anna: Mid_GHHD-02-17-12193238

Ohhh, no. Do you really? I was thinking more along the lines of a little chicken piccata, maybe some smoked salmon?
Emma: Hot dogs taste better! 

She and I share the same horror at the very mention of hot dogs; I consider this a sign that Finola Hughes and I should be BFFs.


I think the pure amount of hateful behavior cataloged in this post requires even more of a palate cleanser. Let's talk fashion, shall we? Because Port Charles's best and brightest showed their support for hearts and lungs in some...in some clothes.

How amazing did Carly look?!

If I were Laura Wright, I would wear a high ponytail and red dress everywhere. To the dentist, to the library, to the grocery store...and I would give everyone a knowing, "Yeah, I'm this hot" look whenever we made eye contact.

Elizabeth's makeup was perfection.


Maggie...Maggie should not even be on this show, so I refuse to judge her fashion choices.


Nancy Lee Grahn looks divine in this shade of blue.


I can't with Olivia.

The dress is hideous, the headband is absurd and that updo is offensive. Hastily piling hair on top of a person's head and haphazardly bobbypinning isn't a style.

And then there's Kate, the alleged fashionista, who not only bought this dress off the rack but clearly bought it off the rack at, like, DEB.

Fashion editors all over the country should really considering filing a lawsuit against this show for the gross misrepresentation of their profession. They mightn't wear things that are everybody's cup of tea, because, you know, sometimes fashion is...not right. But to wear clothes so poorly made and clearly flammable? No, Kate. No. AND THE HAIR, OH MY GOD.


That is prom hair. All that is missing is body glitter and a slow jam by the Backstreet Boys. I am so thoroughly ashamed right now.


I'll probably incur the wrath of Johnny Z fans but I think he got what he deserved at the benefit. I think Sonny was justified in airing Johnny's dirty laundry at the benefit. Johnny baited him. Who in that room cares about Johnny's true parentage? That information is useless and can no longer be used against Anthony. The scenes were so silly and weightless just like the NYE scenes of Michael calling out Carly. There was no drama. GH excels at gutting the drama from "dramatic" moments.

So much focus on Jason and Sam's health when we all know they'll survive and she'll deliver a healthy baby. Where's the drama? I hate that Jason only interacts with Monica when he needs something. He's the worst.

Liz should have thrown that drink in Maxie's face. That would've been great and soapy. Please do not have her go after Matt. He's SO lame.

I'm spoiler-free but could not help fearing that Maxie's carelessness would cause Robin's death. How awful would it be if Maxie inadvertently caused the death of Robin? Argh. That would be the worst thing to occur and that says a lot because it's GH. But, man, Maxie and Robin are like sisters. Would the show place that much guilt on the character of Maxie Jones.

I wish to add: Mallory, you did a great job with this and nailed the assessment of the women's fashions at the event. I agree with everything except that I think LW/Carly looked dowdy and unappealing. She's looked WAY better. I would've preferred NLG/Alexis in a dress we had t seen her in before but she looked great. RH/Elizabeth looked AMAZING.

Didn't Maxie also nearly kill Robin & Emma while burning down Mac's house by playing with candles and matches at Emma's birthday party a few years back? Now Robins death will be about Maxie & Jason...RAGE!!!

I was cheering Evil Anthony on, would love for Sonny to be gone! Pretty gross I felt that way about a soap opera, but GH has sickened my mind and broken my spirit.

The clothes :-( Liz looked the best she ever has in my opinion. I have never been a huge fan of her look, but this whole thing was perfection from top to bottom!!! But as tragic Kates look was, I cannot get past Olivia's full side boob, gross.

Liz/RH looked lovely. It's about time that Liz was out of those freaking scrubs with to die for makeup and hair.

Carly/LW looked very nice while Olivia shouldn't even be on the show along with Maggie.

Who cares that Claudia was Johnny's momma? The woman is dead. Now, if the news had come out back when Claudia was married to Sonny and Trevor was the baby Daddy then it would have been a juicy story. Now? No one cares about Claudia, Johnny or Trevor.

I'm going to have to side with Sonny on this one myself. I'm sorry, but Sonny was at HIS benefit, minding HIS business, and drunk Johnny bust up in there and procedes to get drunker. Now Sonny doesn't cause a scene throwing him out. Lets him stay. Lets AZ stay. Don't approach them. Don't say a word to them. So he's making his speech and Johnny jumps up trying to steal the spotlight from Sonny by trying to call Sonny out and Sonny trumps him and the hate goes to Sonny. I don't get that. People are talking about how Sonny tried to make this benefit about himself. Well, what about Johnny? He started causing problems. He's the one that started the spectacle. I just don't get how people can hate on Sonny, but then go 'oh poor Johnny' when Johnny pretty much starts things with Sonny. That's why I didn't get Olivia, Carly, and Kate all jumping down Sonny's throat because all that happened was Johnny tried to embarrass Sonny but Sonny trumped him.

Don't get me started on Dante. Like I said in another post. I'm sick of that character period.

Can they get Elizabeth away from Matt and Maxie is my question? To me, she can be doing so much more but its like they are using her in order to give Matt and Maxie something to do. They could be having Elizabeth trying to figure out Ewen saved her life. Instead she's stuck with Maxie constantly in her face talking stupid and have Matt not getting the message that she's not interested in him and playing jealous boyfriend when she's trying to have conversations and trying to get to know Ewen. Need to get her out of the kiddie pool and back with the adults like Robin and Patty but I get it. Can't have her near Jason so she has to be suspended, and how not surprised am I going to be when this suspension is magically lifted when Jason checks out of the hospital.

I worried about what will happen to Johnny. I hear RC does not like him.

Sonny at this point is such a played out character. It's always the same shit with him, he makes the same mistakes, lashes out, blah, blah, blah. He never grows up, he never learns. The fact that little Emma is light years more mature at 4-5 than this pathetic 50 yr old man should be an indicator that it's the end of the road for Sonny. At least they let the other party goers look at him like the scum he is. Of course, they'll probably be right back to saying poor poor Sonny, how misunderstood, what a loving father...ugh.

Johnny Z does indeed get hotter looking the more he spirals out of control <3 <3 The line Liz spewed at Maxie was pure soapy perfection.

I can't deal with Maxie anymore, esp since someone else is playing her. Do we know if/when Kristen Storms is coming back?

The screencaps are awesome, Mal! Laura Wright always looks *so* good, and you're right that the blue looks divine on NLG.

I guess my hatred of Sonny blinds me but why didn't he just ignore Johnny or have security show him to the door? Noooooooooooo, his ego wouldn't allow it so he not only embarrassed himself, but everyone involved with him and the benefit. I think that's why I can't get behind Sonny's public humiliation because I keep expecting him to act like an adult but get a petulant child instead.

RH is so gorgeous, almost ethereally so. I love a good high ponytail, too. Maggie's snarly face in that screencap pretty much sums her up.

I'm disappointed that Robin's exit storyline can't be oh, call me crazy but about HER sweet little family? *sigh*

Those screencaps of Emma remind me of sweet Kimberly McCullough when she was a wee one. Awwww.

I swear if I could've gone through the tv and gouged Maxie's eyes out with a pencil, I would have. Hate her. HATE. Her selfishness rivals that of Carly. I LOVED when Liz told her she was going to make her life hell with that smirk on her face. LOVED IT. No offense to Jen Lilley (or Kirsten Storms before her) but Maxie should have been the one killed by Diego and not Georgie. HATE!

I'm glad that Dante called Sonny out. Despite all of Dante's reservations about going to that event, he went, and Sonny made it clear that the night was really all about him and not his son when he decided to gleefully reveal how Johnny's mother was raped as part of Anthony's machinations against Gino.

The only sad thing is that Dante will probably flip-flop on his father, because no one is allowed to stay mad at Sonny for long no matter what he does - put a bullet in his pregnant wife's head, shoot his son in the chest, nearly kill his daughter with a car bomb, ect.

Mallory, be prepared to roll your eyes because some upcoming spoilers indicate whatever happens in the parking garage will end up with some rehabbing of Sonny's character w/Dante. Gee, couldn't Dante's vow to put Sonny behind bars last more than a couple of days?

I know there are a lot of viewers who like Johnny's story lately and not to knock him but I don't care for him that much, especially after what he put Robin through with that whole Lisa scavanger hunt. He was pretty dismissive to Robin's plight and I know Lisa reminded him of Claudia so he was trying to "save" her but it seemed pretty harsh. They really don't seem to know what to do with Johnny's character and he's sort of drifted around the fringes for a long time. This whole Claudia-mama thing would have been relevant when Claudia was alive, but now, who cares?

When Dante said "Dead to me," I said "No, to the pain."

The night was supposed to be about raising money-not only does Max tackle Johnny for taking out a check book, Sonny decrees that Johnny's mob money isn't as good as his mob money.

Anthony is Tracy's husband-and Tracy is on the board of GH-they were invited guests. Yes, Johnny crashed, but Carly who owns half the hotel didn't kick him out. Johnny was not trying to start trouble-he was donating money to a cause, not buying Dante's affection like Sonny was.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who started singing, 'It's my party and I'll cry if I want to/Cry if I want to/Cry if I want to/You would cry, too, it if happened toooo yooouuuuu!' Sonny was ridiculous. The moment he went into his "You ruined my night" tirade, I erupted into a fit of hysterical and shameful giggles. Um...no.

"Since Robin is, in all likelihood, dying (or "dying") this week, Maxie is going to have to live with the fact that she's a loathsome person whose last words to her beloved cousin were all about guilting her for not dropping everything to fix Maxie's problems."

I hope this haunts Maxie and the she chokes on it, b/c this is her fault. First Georgie, now Robin, yet this waste of a human being remains to exist.

Emma is beyond adorable and I flove her and Grandma Anna and Robin.*sniffle*

I thing Elizabeth and Carly looked beautiful. Olivia looked like she wore her home-ec project and Kate's been looking a hot-ass mess since her re-introduction. Wardrobe, make-up, and hair have got to a better job with her.

And, yes, Maggie is still here b/c...????????????

I never much cared for Johnny either way....I didn't get him & Lulu (sorry)....he & Olivia were so-so to me.....but with Carly?? WOW - there is some serious heat going on there. It is true BB is getting hotter each day! I don't care if RC doesn't like Johnny, he needs to realize when he's got something good & Johnny and Carly are good. The actors have loads of chemistry and the storyline possibilities are great. They are an unexpected pairing that I find myself looking forward to. Especially given the fact that half of my favorite couple was blown to smithereens yesterday. Boo to the ending for Robin - she'd better turn up alive at some point in the future!

If GH goes down, it will have been swallowed by Sonny Corinthos. When he became the center of the show, rather than a colorful peripheral sleazeball, GH lost its heart and soul.

I have to agree with your great post. The major theme: I DESPISE SONNY. I am so in agreement with AZ. I'd like Sonny gone too.

Lucy, I agree! Johnny & Carly are dynamite <3 <3

I agree with almost all of this post- and especially that Johnny, whose appeal was once lost on me, has definitely gotten exponentially hotter lately (even to the extent that I thought he and Carly were hot together, despite the vaguely motherly way she seems in her mannerisms toward him)- but I must disagree about Olivia's hair. I find her character distasteful in the extreme, but I thought the hairdo was absolutely gorgeous, and I love the headband.

Yo, Sonny: I'm sorry, but Claudia's being pimped out to this Gino guy is different from Claudia's being pimped out to you HOW, exactly? Apart from her being of legal age when you made the alliance, what makes you morally superior here? What gives you the right to get up on that high horse? Hypocrite.

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