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« The Okay & the Different | Main | The Fine & the Surprising »

May 18, 2012

Lamest Murder Ever

It's not that I won't forgive holes in soap stories; I will. I do routinely, in fact. Not being able to forgive holes in stories and demanding real-world logic of soaps at all times would make for a very frustrated (and undoubtedly brief) viewer indeed. But gaping holes are excusable if they exist to serve a great story. And in the case of the Murder of Lisa Niles? Oh, we have a big problem because this story is so far from great that not even the great Jason Morgan and John McBain's omnipotent spidey senses combined would be able to find their way without a detailed map.

Just to scratch the surface of the many issues I'm finding insurmountable:

  • Let's start with a small one. According to Spinelli's insistence that Maxie is a peace-loving, do-no-harm type of gal, she won't even use makeup tested on animals? That must be difficult in her industry! Especially interesting since she wears animals routinely and apparently, according to her comment to Matt in yesterday's episode, eats foie gras. You know, like all animal rights activists do. I hear it's the nightly dish at the PETA convention buffets.


  • Spinelli has now filled the court in on the fact that Matt killed Lisa and Maxie witnessed it, and the judge is utterly unconcerned that, if this is true, it means that Maxie provided a false confession and lied under oath and offered up falsified evidence.


  • Somehow Maxie is now a martyr and did "all of this" to protect Matt, which is hilarious considering the EFFING CASE WAS MOTHEREFFING CLOSED. If Matt goes to prison for this, it's actually Maxie's fault. Maxie is a crap-ass martyr, to say the very least. And by the way, we all saw Matt and Maxie's relationship before and after Lisa's death. We were not born yesterday, and that was not a loving girlfriend trying to save her loving boyfriend's life.


  • While I appreciate the fact that this is giving Jason Cook a chance (finally!) to do some serious acting, he'd already been getting that lately in his awesome brotherly scenes with the fabulous Jason Thompson and, besides, this is apparently his exit story. LAME. LAME. LAME. They finally decided to actually use him and make him interesting and... then he's gone?


  • Apparently all Maxie needs to do is sign a statement saying she witnessed someone else murdering Lisa Niles and she'll immediately be released from prison for... murdering Lisa Niles? My goodness the system is easy to play! And no worries about the series of related crimes and everything else she confessed to, and all the crimes she'd be guilty of if it turned out she had been lying! FREE AS A BIRD! No matter that she helped get a woman murdered and then obstructed justice eight ways to Sunday!


  • And Matt is all moved by Maxie's grand gesture now, and it has not occurred to him that (a) if Maxie had just kept her mouth shut nobody would be going to prison for this and (b) THEY WERE ALL ON TRAPPED ON A BOAT AND LISA WAS ON A MURDEROUS RAMPAGE AND HAD ALREADY KILLED A MAN AND TIED PEOPLE UP AND TRIED TO KILL THEM. For crap's sake, it's not like he hunted her down and tortured and killed her. He RESCUED SEVERAL PEOPLE FROM CERTAIN DEATH. The only image they have is him bopping her on the head, nobody has any idea what else went on. No one thinks there might be more to it than, "Eh, he got drunk and thought it would be funny to run around and kill some lady?"
  • Even Maxie herself acknowledged that she was an accessory to the murder of an innocent woman, but neither the judge nor the D.A. give a fig about this rather essential detail.
  • And perhaps most importantly:


Oh my lord, Téa, please put on something besides that weird apron dress and get your hands off your belly! The baby's not going to fall out!

Okay, that last one might be unrelated to the Murder of Lisa Niles storyline, but it's far more urgent and egregious. 


"They finally decided to actually use him and make him interesting and... then he's gone?"

That seems to happen a lot, actually. Characters are often at their best just when they're about to leave.

Good article. I agree with BN, and I hope they leave an opening for JC to return. I've enjoyed the recent family interaction with Patrick, after a 3-year waste of potential.

And yes, Tea, please stop rubbing your belly.

Tea rubs her belly because she is hungry and excitedly waits until Star has sneered herself into the perfect tasty treat! Then she will gobble Le Estrella. And wipe her lips with her linen napkin skirt. :)

The belly rub is ridiculous! And ALL pregnant women on the soaps do that...like we need to be reminded that the basketball they are sporting is a baby.

The rest of the aritcle is SO right on! None of it makes sense, but then when do any murder stories make sense?

On the bright side, the DA is played by the actor who was the fabulous Clarence Wiedman on "Veronica Mars"!

Praise be for this post, Louise! There was an attempt to explain how this story actually played out on SOC, but people became disgusted at the mere fact that Maxie is indeed NOT a martyr or awesome and loving girlfriend. She's so amazing and has grown and is selfless.

Bottom line, the case was closed. It was over. Maxie blurted out that confession in a desperate attempt to be punished for Robin. It wasn't for Matt. In order for that to be true, she'd have a murder investigation re-opened only so she can confess and protect Matt from going to prison. What kind of logic is that?

If Spinelli wants to see Maxie as the things he lied about, that's his choice, but I know Maxie and I saw everything she did.

I also agree about Tea. Normally stuff like this happens with pregnant characters (and I never really pay attention to it), where they put their hands on their bellies for emphasis, but Tea's clutching that belly like it really will fall.

Ugh, this is not how I wanted JC/Matt to exit the show. He could've easily left to go work with Noah or something, but killing Lisa? She MURDERED people and would have killed more if she wasn't stopped. Nobody should go to prison for that.

To be fair, they did kind of address the "closed case" point when Maxie commented on how she thought eventually someone would remember seeing Matt.

Chad, you are far more generous than I am! Maxie confessing and being in prison for it wouldn't help Matt if someone eventually remembered him any more than if someone eventually remembered him after the case was closed the first time.

Not to deny that there isn't an obvious rewrite to account for JC's exit, but just sayin'.

Tea rubs her belly like a big fat buddha??? I hadn't noticed. I was too busy coveting her hair. Starr wears prison blues very well.

So, rumor has is JC is going back to Days... Since Kristen Storms hasn't reappeared in PC is SHE also going back to Salem??? Does anyone know what the 411 is on KS????

Tea's been rubbing her belly like that since the minute she found out the she was pregnant. I'm convinced that right now, she IS afraid the fake baby bump will fall off if she doesn't hold it. And of course, it emphasizes even more, how AWFUL Todd is for killing (not!) the father of her poor unborn, fatherless child! Yech! Good thing that Todd has learned a LITTLE self-control over the past years, or TEA would be in danger of being bopped over the head with that wrench.

To be fair- I rubbed my belly A LOT when I was pregnant. The skin felt all stretched and itchy.

And that was probably too much information.

I do think that anything with Spinelli or Maxie in it just plain sucks. I hate both of them so much that I can't even form a coherent sentence on why this storyline sucks. You covered it very well.

This story, if you can even call it that, has been a lot of hysterics for nothing. Just to fill up airtime. Spinelli's behavior toward Maxie is disturbing, and Maxie herself is written as a pathetic child who must be patted on the head as she ruins lives. Unfortunately that is GH's view of women - three separate stories about pathetic, useless blondes who have no control over their own lives.

De ideeën die u hier hebt verstrekt bespreek ik zeer waardevol. Het bleek echt een aangename verrassing te verwerven die anticiperen op mij nadat ik wakker werd vandaag. Ze zijn constant op het podium en gemakkelijk te hoogte te zijn van. Door veel naar de waardevolle ideeën die je hebt hieronder werd gedeeld.

@nike-air-max-pas-cher Yes! I couldn't have said it better myself!

Tea's dress looks like she's wearing a gigantic diaper. And her constant clutching of her belly is annoying and distracting.
And why are we having tedious OLTL arguments on GH. Tea's beloved husband isn't dead, and hopefully we won't have to sacrifice GH time to find that out. Ron & Frank, please stop wasting my GH time telling OLTL stories. Though I am enjoying Todd.

Hopefully Maxie will be released from prison and she and Spinelli will go to TX to recover with Felicia.

Given how famous Kate is supposed to be, wouldn't TMZ's cameras be in Port Charles trying to get a story.

Patrick is going to be newly devastated that his brother is a murderer. Can Anna please move into the house to help him. Get her out of Luke's orbit.

JC's contract is up, and I expect ABC has once again cut GH's budget. It's too bad that JC can't take BA (Spinelli), Delores, Starr (I love Starr/KA, but all of that screaming and weird facial expressions need to go!), and a few other peeps on his way out of town.

Bummed to hear about JC! Matt was wasted and I hate to say it but this ridiculous rewrite of a storyline is probably the best material he's had since he started on the show. That and his recent interaction with Patrick. Thumbs way down GH!

Guza refused to use JC for almost three years, and when fans finally took a liking to Matt, it was way too late. I wish the actor well since it sounds like he has a lot of projects on his plates.

It always figures that actors that choose to leave soaps like KMc and JJ, are the ones that TIIC are always trying to talk into coming back for some reason. I would rather see Matt than Spinelli on my screen!

They seemed to have ignored the fact that Maxie also confessed to killing for first mate (unless it happened after the 16th because I am behind). Also, I am baffled by this sheet skirt Tea was wearing.

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