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« The Crazy & the Smothering | Main | The Comic & the Ignorant »

May 30, 2012

Wednesday's Sorrow and Joy

I knew that when I looked at my DVR description of today's General Hospital and it said, "Spinelli has a broken heart" and I was overcome with schadenfreude, I'd have to just go ahead and indulge in a straight recap of the episode.

So we open with just that. Spinelli, who "selflessly" "rescued" Maxie (you certainly can't use either of those words without quotes in this context) in another attempt to win her back learns that, no, it didn't win Maxie back because none of the times he "selflessly" does something for her in an attempt to win her back ever work. But because he is insane and annoying, he assumed this one would be the clincher. Nope, she married Matt because she found out from a fancy legal book that it means she won't have to testify against him. Presto change-o, they both go free! Because that's totally logical, considering the entirety of her release depended on her testimony against Matt. Spinelli reacts to this with a puppy dog face. How dare she not reward his "selfless" act by getting back together with him?

See? Big book! Wedding ring! Magic!

At the PCPD, Dante and Dolores discuss their mutual incompetence. Or not really, but close enough.

Tracy and Luke are at the boathouse wondering where Anthony's body went.

Anthony is busy being an annoying ghost. Johnny is annoyed since he'd called the cops with an anonymous tip. Kind of like the anonymous tip that got Jason arrested for Franco's murder (meaning the Beecher's Corners police know FOR A FACT that it was Jason!). Jason explains to John McBain that the anonymous tip was from John. John resists, at least for a moment, explaining the definition of "anonymous" to Jason. 

Kristina tells her family they're going to be in her Mob Princess reality show.

Credits. Ads.

Luke assures Tracy that Anthony really was dead, so it means someone moved Anthony's body. They accuse each other.

Dante explains to Dolores that Johnny is still the prime suspect in the whole car accident shooting thingamajig, to which Dolores points out that Johnny has an alibi. Dante aptly explains that Carly Jacks as an alibi witness is utterly meaningless because she is a Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.

Johnny chats with his father/grandfather ghost person and it's dull.

Maxie gloats in open court about her genius plan. I have zero clue why she'd be cocky about this. She's the one who got this case re-opened. And there's the TINY MATTER OF THE NON-LISA NILES MURDER VICTIM, about whom nobody gives a rat's ass. This makes Spinelli a sad sack.


(Which makes me the opposite of a sad sack. A happy carton? I don't know.)

Maxie makes a bitchy comment at Mac about how she read that whole legal book and he'd always said she could be a good student if she'd found a subject that interested her. I have no clue what she has against Mac right now.

Jason further accuses John of having tipped off the papers and the cops about Franco.

The reality TV show debate continues at the Davis lake house (and Sam remembers she was on reality television and it didn't go well -- that pesky Amelia!), and a TV crew shows up.


John looks pretty unimpressed by Jason, who responds with, "What would you do if someone raped Natalie? You would kill him." Not really, Jason. He'd sniff him out with his magical powers and arrest him with a smirk on his face.

Kristina goes ahead and announces on the reality show footage that her dad planted a car bomb meant for Johnny that nearly killed her.

Luke and Tracy have a circular conversation. He asks her to swear on something she cares about that she didn't kill Anthony.

Johnny and GhostAnthony are... oh it's so dull, it doesn't matter.

Luke and Tracy swear to each other that neither of them killed Anthony, so we're back where we started. 

Dante and Dolores stop by Johnny's penthouse to talk to him about Anthony.


I feel great remorse for having decided to recap this full episode. I'm fine with soaps having episodes with some dull scenes, it helps me get stuff done and it keeps the plots from moving too fast. I just don't want to be recapping it! On that note, we come back from commercial and there's more on this Anthony business. Tracy stands up and announces that she knows he did it!

The D.A. just goes ahead and lets everyone go home. Sure, first he yells a little about making sure Lisa Niles' murderer is brought to justice at some point, AND DOESN'T MENTION THE ACTUALLY INNOCENT MURDER VICTIM or the fact that this should really nullify Maxie's entire deal, but whatevs. Maxie makes a bitchy crack at the D.A. (again, I cannot figure out why she's being so nasty to everyone) because that's the smartest way to make sure the District Attorney goes ahead and drops this whole thing. Mock him! Well done. Anyway, Mac points out that since there's no statute of limitations on murder, Maxie will basically have to stay married to Matt forever for this to stick. This makes Spinelli pout a little more, which gives me a special kind of joy. (No, I'm not a nice person. Bradford Anderson is a very good actor, but it's been a long time since they gave his character any material that makes him remotely sympathetic to me. Remotely.)

John asks Jason if he's ever considered that he's spent most of his life protecting a murderer, and Jason manages to avoid laughing at him. He doesn't even chuckle and say, "Yes, that's kind of the whole 'mob' thing, dude, we're both murderers. We don't think it's wrong when we do it to other people, duh!" Anyway, Jason accuses John of using him to get to Sam. 

Kristina continues to explain to the cameras everything about her mob family. She's a bit annoying, but admittedly it's pretty funny hearing her summarize her family. Sonny is less than pleased about all this.

Tracy thinks Sonny killed Anthony and Luke disagrees. 

Alexis gets the message and conveys it to Sam that Jason was arrested for killing Franco.

John points out to Jason that if he loses Sam, it'll be his own damn fault. Jason looks confused, because he is an ass.

See? Ass.

Patrick is worried about whether marrying Maxie was the right choice for Matt, who is a bit shaken up right now but thinks this gets his life back, so it must be the right decision. Spinelli tells Maxie she made the wrong choice, but she doesn't think she really had one.


Spinelli yells at Maxie that Matt is a liar and a murderer (I'm not sure why he's not more enamored of Matt, then, because Spinelli is on payroll for liars and murderers and totes adores them!). Spinelli goes on some more about how Matt's wrong for her. He reminds her that at their non-wedding they'd said they'd have a real wedding one day, and Spinelli holds on to that hope (which makes the fact that he broke up with her an odd choice, but this is Spinelli we're talking about and logic has rarely been anywhere in sight).

Johnny tries to further pin Anthony's murder on Tracy and Luke, who are trying to figure out how to get rid of the murder weapon.

Jason runs into Sam in the hallway of the hotel and implies to her that John was the one who called in the anonymous tip against him.

Kristina tells her family they must participate in her reality show or they'll never see her again. 


Spinelli asks Felicia and Mac to try to talk Maxie out of the marriage. They don't think that'll work, and later Mac tells Felicia he never thought Matt was good enough for Maxie anyway, and then Felicia and Mac go off to have a drink (!). Spinelli has yet to exhaust his resources, so he runs to Patrick to beg him to talk Matt and Maxie out of the marriage, which he won't do. As Matt and Maxie head home, Spinelli looks on sadly as melancholic music plays. MOVE ON, SPINELLI! I hate watching this, it's been years. Do they seriously think this is the best way to portray this character. Enough already! I stopped feeling sorry for him years ago.

Alexis is upset that Kristina correctly sees that she practices situational ethics (kind of the way Kristina does!) and tries to convince Sonny to participate in the reality show, while Molly asks Kristina to consider how she's hurting everyone. Can someone just explain to her what's going on with Sam? Shouldn't that make a little difference?

John calls Natalie and leaves her a voicemail, apologizing and asking her to hang in there with him.

Jason reminds Sam not to trust cops, even though they wouldn't even be in this current situation if they were the type of people who occasionally trusted a cop or two. But all Jason meant to do was give his pregnant wife a lecture and then walk out again.


Because it's important that that's what she's left with at this moment when her rape is all over the newspapers. My goodness he's a prize. 

Dolores and Dante show up to take Tracy and Luke in on "suspicion of foul play in the disappearance of Anthony Zacchara." Dramatic percussion, the end.


Actually Jason, after Nat was almost raped by Paul Cramer and she was found with Paul's blood all over her crying over the grave of the first husband McDouche had something to with dying his response was to be a complete ass to her kwwhat she had done.. So sadly Jason response to Sam is better than John's was.

I really hate the fact that rape on a soap is to show how much the boyfriend or husband suffers.

Fast-forwarded through GhostlyGramps
Fast-forwarded through MobPrincess
Fast-forwarded through SenselessSpinelli
Fast-forwarded through MouthyMaxi
Fast-forwarded through JackassJason

"Watched" the show in record time today!

Do the writers not know what horrible stories they're doing on other soaps? Mob Princess, just like Naked Heiress, is NOT the way to introduce a grossly SORAS'd character. It creates insty-hate that's almost impossible to overcome.

Just waiting for the train wreck to be over.

Kristina: "Do the show or I'll never speak to you again and I will leave forever."

Marz:" Do you need a ride to the airport?"

"Do the show or I'll never speak to you again and I will leave forever."

Well then ... buh-bye, Kristina. And have fun serving up burgers to people because, you may leave, but Mommy and Daddy's dirty money is staying.

I just can't with Kristina. I can't stand nu-Kristina and I hate this storyline. I agree, Alexis and Sonny should have told her not to the door hit her in the ass and then cut off her credit cards and access to any bank accounts.

I can't help it, I still want to give Spinelli a hug. But I'm with Marz on Kristina. Almost verbatim. Also, there was a nice little moment in Luke and Tracy's circular conversation of contrivance that referenced Tracy's withholding Edward's heart medication. History! Progress!

Ugh. Spinelli gets on my freaking nerves. He sat next to Lulu at Josselyn's christening after helping SaSon plan Dante's murder and he's getting all up in Matt's grill about a murder he doesn't even remember? Boo Hiss! Down with Spinelli!

Matt is freaking sexy and the show decides to keep sad sack Spinelli? WTF?

Sam seems less concerned about her rape than making sure old Jason is going to help raise her baby. I suggest Sam go see a rape counselor and let Jason decide whether he can raise Franco's spawn when he wouldn't even man up to raise Jake!

I like the NuKristina and think she's much better than the last actress but Sonny and Kristina ate today's show

Spinelli drives me bonkers. He's such a caricature. He's completely the opposite of sympathy provoking.

Jason still sucks.

Sonny too.

Still liking that they do.

Hate the idea of reality tv to begin with, now I have to watch it on my story? That sucks.

smug maxie sucks.

a lot sucked today, and I only enjoyed the general suckiness of the Sonny and Jason characters.

Hoping to find out what happened to Tea tomorrow??? That was kinda left hanging, but it's still the same day, right?

@bethie, I think Tea gives birth. & Todd gets to help...hope he does better than he did when Blair gave birth...anyone remember this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFdIOxF7bos

omg i couldn't stand kritina before! she so spoiled and rotten oh poor me my daddy is a mobster wah wah ! please go away ! jason needs a slap upside his head what a jerk!

Did anyone else shout at their TV's when Luke and Tracy (well moreso Tracy) had major trouble thinking of loved ones to swear on!? At least after a long wait, Luke came up with his kids. Hello Tracy, remember Ned and Dylan??! This effin show. I still truly miss the Q's and will continue to be bitter of them mostly being killed off! I still think Jason's "brain surgery" was a sorely missed opportunity to turn him back into Jason Q!
On the positive side, has anyone noticed under the new writing regime that Spinelli is a scootch less annoying and has toned down the constant nicknames and jibber jabber? Granted, a scootch less is still pretty annoying, but any little bit helps! ;)

I have to admit, I'm more entertained by GH than i have been in a while - but that doesn't mean it makes a lot of sense. It's just ... entertaining. But it's also frustrating. These were the thoughts I had during yesterday's episode (some of which, others apparently had) -

Don't they need to sign releases to be on this reality show they are already taping? Wouldn't Dylan be at the tip of Tracy's mouth when asked about someone she truly loves? OMG - is Jason actually wrong? When was the last time Jason was actually wrong about anything? Why is Spinneli so pathetic? Why does Spinelli look up to murderers who do it for business, but look down on those who do it for any other reason? Why is Spinneli still on this show? Is it really that easy to get around murder charges when everyone knows you murdered someone and there's apparently a tape of it? Does Maxie have to be so pleased with herself to the point of being obnoxious? Where is Anna - Anna will make things better. How long will Johnny still be around because he seems to have turned a corner that most characters outside Sonny and Jason can't recover from? Why is Kristina taller than everyone in her family when she used to be the second to shortest? Is Kristina going to look like Michael's older sister now? If Elizabeth is going to be just a background / supportive character now, can't she be in the background and supportive on every episode? Did Ron just bring over the story bible from OLTL the past two or three years and change the names?

I love you Mike! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ok, Krissy looks old enough to be Michael's aunt or teen mom. WTH???? The reality show is ridiculousness!!!! Alexis (as a LAWYER) should be able to get an injunction to stop taping considering that Molly is a minor and no one CONSENTED to being taped. I am a reality tv whore and I know when someone hasn't signed a consent because their face is fuzzed out. "Mob Princess" the show is going to suck if everyone is fuzzed out. I must admit though I can't wait until the cameras follow Sam to see Jason and he ends up on tape being all Asshat McGee about the rape and Rosemary's Baby.
Hey LadyBug??? Instead of Sam seeing a rape counselor maybe JASON should see one since he seems to be the one SOOOOOO traumatized by what happened. In Soapville, Sam seems to be handling the rape fairly well. Maybe later after she has the baby they will give her PTSD? I don't know who will her shrink cuz Dr Keenan seems to have disappeared... Permanently.
I don't know... I agree that the show is still a fustercluck of craziness but it's now the train wreck you can't look away from!!! I've even started talking back to my tv again!! (That's actually a good sign.)
*****I just really need to know one thing... Has Melissa Archer definitively said NO to moving to LA for GH like Kassie DePaiva? Can we get a decent red headed recast and move nuNat to PC? And is Tea just here for a quick visit or is she here to stay like Todd??

I'm sorry but I don't have one ounce of sympathy for Spinelli. His hypocrisy is almost as stifling as Sonny's. Matt doesn't even remember what he did, but Spinelli tries to tell Maxi he is a murderer. I was yelling at the tv, dude, YOUR BOSS GETS PAID TO MURDER PEOPLE and you have no problem with that. Just, ugh! Also Maxie was dead on when she said Spinelli thinks she would only be happy with him. Again, was yelling at the tv, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CALLED OFF THE WEDDING. GET.OVER.IT. HATE him.

Sam should go see a rape counselor for Sam. Heck. Sonny, Carly, Jason etc, should have insisted on Michael seeing a rape counselor since they know the trauma that Emily went through years ago at the hands of Conor. GH should have also done a PSA on rape.

I, too, agree that Elizabeth needs a story line where she is not listening to Jason piss and moan about Sam's baby when she slapped the snot out of him last year for not parenting Jake!

Let me sum it all up:
Jason-HYPOCRITE, KILLER, WORSE HUSBAND EVER. I still can't believe there was a time I used to like Jason Morgan. The only time I EVER liked him was when he was with Robin now, I can't stand his murdering ass.
Sonny- HYPOCRITE, Liar, Murderer, insane, SELFISH, and cold. It's sad cause at one point Sonny had a heart now I honestly don't know how to describe him.
John- ONLY SMART REAL COP ON THE SHOW. It's to bad he's not officially at least not yet a cop on the show. And I really hope that Mellisia comes on as Nathalie for a few reasons: a. I think she's a really good actress despite all oltl did to her character in the last few yrs of the show, B. cause her and John seem to know more about what it's like to be a REAL cop than the dumb ass losers Dante and that chic whatever her name is seem to know about what a cop is SUPPOSED to be.
Dante-LOSER, HYPOCRITE, WORSE COP EVER, oh and idiot is SONNY'S SON so enough said.
Kristina- I CAN'T stand her. She SUCKS. PERIOD.
Spinelli-HYPOCRITE, I HATE his character. HATE.

Just watched the episode and there couldn't have been a more perfect recap. Thank you Louise! You're the best!

I just wanted to comment here and express my frustration with the character of Alexis Davis. Where is the fire, the drive, the strength? Where's the woman who gave Sonny, Jason, Carly and Ray THE GREATEST VERBAL BEATDOWN in soapdom?! I miss Alexis Davis. The woman who looks like her but behaves like a tool is not the Alexis Davisknowable and loved. This woman currently onscreen is weak and resource-less and ridiculous. Nancy Lee Grahn just stands around ringing her hands and making silly faces. She's too good an actor to be relegated to a nonessential character who is only "the mother" of three incredibly uninteresting daughters. This change in Alexis occurred years ago but took complete hold after TPTB made her Sam's mother. Clearly, I've been holding on to Alexis Davis of yore and need to let go or else be annoyed by the woman onscreen who looks like her:-(

@Kristen, I was also yelling at my TV at Tracy, "You have two kids! What about your kids?" The writers have to have bios of each character. Maybe we were supposed to think that Tracy and Luke wanted to say each other and wouldn't, but the time it took for Tracy to come up with Lila, you'd think a mother would at least remember she has TWO children.

Kristina doesn't look as old as everyone keeps saying. OLd Kristina looked the same age as Molly while this one looks like a college student

Kristina is the same height as Alexis and no she did not look as old as Sam who has lines on her face. Nice that someone inheirited Alexis' height. Which is actually average height. Too many petite women on this show it makes the women who are average height look like giants.

Now Alexis need to woman up and cut the crap. Crying over this child. She has been letting Kristina stomp all over her since soras.

I'm trying to stick with the Sonny/Jason show but its a hard watching. Seems like nearly every character's dialog is about Sam & Jason and/or their baby...enough already!

@soapbaby, do you have a link to the greatest verbal smackdown? I don't even know who Ray is! but I want to see that!

Hey Judy! I should've included the clip I was referring to. Here is it: http://youtu.be/hgGsbWIvAX8

This was the Alexis I was a fan of. I truly miss her. This is also one of my favorite GH moments. It's from August 2002. I believe Alexis is pregnant by Sonny by this point. She names her daughter Kristina after her late sister Kristina.

I am sorry. It's not Ray. It was Roy DiLucca. I think he was a cop who while trying to take down Sonny set up the accident that killed Alexis' sister Kristina. Those clips are on YT and it also covers a pivotal moment in the Jason/Liz relationship (if you care about that at all...I did ;-) Personally I thought Kristina (Alexis' sister) was a real drip but her death gave us really good drama!

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