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« What Show Am I Watching? My Equilibrium Is Totally Off Kilter Now! | Main | The Handsome & the Mistaken »

June 13, 2012

The Pretty & the Olive

Well, we certainly know there will be pretty things to look at over the next few episodes of The Bold & the Beautiful.


Oooh, pretty architecture! 


Pretty views! 


Pretty buildings! 


Pretty villas! 


Pretty Deacon!

And I'm certainly envious of the actors and crew for getting to go on this little adventure. (We've only seen Sean Kanan [Deacon] in interior shots so far, but I'm assuming he'll be in some of the on-location scenes, so not a half-bad deal for him -- even though his return stint was far too brief, he got to do part of it in Italy!) (I'd say the same thing about the actress who plays Alison -- if she did in fact go on location -- but then I remembered that chick is some sort of Greek princess, so she's probably all set in the access-to-exotic-travels department.)

However, this Italy trip is just serving to prolong the endless Hope/Liam/Steffy triangle (yesterday they used up practically a whole segment to just show some entire scene on the beach that Steffy flashed back to, as if we hadn't seen enough of those exact images in the seventeen montages they show every week of each pairing set to treacly music). Worse still? When they're not doing scenes directly related to the Triangle from Hell? This is what we get:


Brooke: You know they have an olive press here? They make their own olive oil.

Ridge: Now you're getting warmer.

Brooke: Right, because I said that magic word.

Ridge: Olives. Olives. Olives.

Brooke: Okay. Where did you get this crazy obsession?

Ridge: Obsession?

Brooke: Well, fetish. Whatever. I don't know.

Ridge: Fetish? Obsession? Fetish? Call it a passion.

Brooke: Passion.

Ridge: Yes.

Brooke: For olives?

Ridge:Mm-hmm. Among other things.

Brooke: I know about those other things.

Ridge: Yes, you do. Olive is my favorite fruit. My people think they're a vegetable, you know?

Brooke: Oh, but you don't, my sweetheart.

Ridge: I know.

Brooke: Because you've been studying up on those little buggers.

Ridge: That's right. But I'm not looking for any old olive, no small olives, only big, big olives. I'm looking for a big olive. That, Logan, is our mission.

Brooke: Big olive.

Ridge: Big.

Brooke: A giant olive.

Ridge: Exactly. Big old olive.

Brooke: Big old giant olive.

Ridge: Big old, yeah.

Which is, apparently, quite the turn-on.


So uh... what the ever-loving fuck was that? And y'all, I did not make up a word of that. I did not take words out of it to make it sound weirder. That was the dialogue. Verbatim.  

And it didn't end there.

Ridge: Did you know there are 50 to 60 million olive trees here?

Brooke: What? Really? Let me see.

Ridge: Look.

Brooke: That is a lot of searching for a giant olive.

Ridge: 50 million olive trees. We better get going.


Ridge: We can start with all the ones on the grounds here. You know some of them are hundreds of years old?

Brooke: And I know exactly what you're gonna do with that giant olive when you find it.

Ridge: What am I gonna make?

Brooke: What are you gonna make?

Ridge: What am I gonna make?

Brooke: I think you're gonna just take that giant olive and plop it into a giant... martini.

Ridge: Yes.

Brooke: Just like you said.

Ridge: You'll be my giant martini.

Uh, is Samuel Beckett now a script writer for B&B from beyond the grave? Because what the hell?


Olives? Seriously?

That's all I have.

"Will you be my giant martini?" is a pickup line I plan to try out on some poor unsuspecting dude ASAP.

Can olives be the new GONDOLA? One can only hope. This show is really letting me down on the GONDOLA front. Cha-cha-cha!

Wait. ... WHAT??

OMG, that dialogue made me laugh SO HARD, so much that i had to find it on YT (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3dX1Y2KNv8) OMG, the written dialogue doesn't even do it justice, how campy it is. But I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how the actors just went with it and made it hilarious! We need some silliness between all that damn Triangle drama too. BRIDGE FOREVER

I'm also disappointed that Deacon isn't going to be on longer, but am glad Sean Kanan(Deacon) got a location shoot out of the deal. He was in Italy's version of "Dancing With the Stars" a few years ago, so he must be happy to be back. I am just totally perplexed as to why $Bill isn't more concerned with Katy's health and the baby she's carrying, instead of obsessing on his sudden son of very little redeeming value. May his newborn be more worthy of the Spencer name and fortune.

Am I the only one with mind in the gutter to take the "giant olive" comment as a thinly (and awkward) veiled reference to Brooke's 'g -spot'? They ARE in Italy! How about "give me that big corkscrew? Or cannolli, baby?" Lol. Btw: anyone catch Dallas last night? I was expecting it to be dumb, but I thought it was fantastic!

LindaLaValle..."I'm also disappointed that Deacon isn't going to be on longer, but am glad Sean Kanan(Deacon) got a location shoot out of the deal. He was in Italy's version of "Dancing With the Stars" a few years ago..."

That was actually Ronn Moss that was on DWTS Italy in 2010.

This episode was so cheesy it was hysterical! Pass the Parmesan!

Did Ronn Moss win DWTS??


slappie jones---I believe Ronn Moss came in second place, but I could be mistaken!

EWWW! EW EW EW! You're gonna put a giant olive WHERE??? EW!

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