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« The Idiotic & the Forgiving | Main | A Photo Finish »

January 20, 2013

I Think I Need To Be Medicated

I spent the better part of last week suffering from the world's worst headache; one of those "I'm pretty much convinced that my right eyeball is going to explode out of my head like I'm living in a scene from an alien movie" headaches, where all you want to do is curl up in the fetal position and avoid loud noises at all costs--it made it impossible for me to watch any Carly scenes on General Hospital.

One small GH marathon later and I'm right back where I started, except this time I am sick everywhere and it's entirely Maxie and Spinelli's fault.

Maxie: So? Will you do it? Will you pop another one of Dante and Lulu's little embryos in me?
Britt: Maxie, I-I'm sorry. I can't.
Maxie: I thought you understood. I am trying to spare my best friend. Why make her suffer when I can be pregnant before she even gets back?
Britt: It's not that I'm unwilling to do the procedure.
Maxie: Then what is your problem?
Britt: Maxie, you're already pregnant.

I think we all--if we're all dour and pessimistic, which we are and have every right to be--saw this coming from the moment Spinelli and Maxie spent the night together, so it's not that it's surprising. It's just that it's horrifying. I'm trying to think of things that I hate more than Spinelli and Maxie as a couple (besides actual real world issues like genocide and famine...although I'd probably take certain diseases over this pairing) and I'm coming up empty. I'd even take the vampire stuff over this, and the vampire stuff had me hiding my face behind my hands, overcome with secondhand embarrassment. This relationship completely obliterates anything I've ever enjoyed about Maxie, and it gives Spinelli much more screentime than he ever deserves and--AND! All of this will make Ellie incredibly sad and who among us wants that?

WHO WANTS TO SEE HER DEJECTED AND DEPRESSED?! No one! And--shameless editing of a post to include a .gif of my new favorite thing ever, ever, ever-- I hate it like Jim Harbaugh hates blown calls

 SPOILER ALERT: I will never get sick of seeing this and it will most likely come in handy during the coming weeks on General Hospital.

Maybe I am wrong and this story will play out very differently than it is in my nightmares, with good writing and unpredictable plot twists and a happy resolution for all involved, and by that I mostly mean Ellie (and me). I'm probably not, of course; that is most likely just my migraine medication talking. Can I request that GH reimburse me?



Out of all of the current newbies, I prefer Ellie to Britt, Sabrina or Felix. Ellie is a keeper and should not have to suffer one iota a time with Spinelli or Maxie.

I hate, hate, hate Maxie and Spinelli, and the only thing worse than the two of them as a couple is for them to have created their spawn. I want Dante and Lulu to have a baby, with each other. I really, really like Ellie and fear she is going to be very hurt by this. Maybe in the end she will find someone much better than Spinelli and his endless moonface, crippling love for Maxie. One can only hope......

I'm still not convinced Maxie ever had a miscarriage in the first place. They made a big point of Britt being hurried and distracted. Maybe the "drama" is Maxie thinks it's Spinelli's, but in the end it isn't.

The vampire thing doesn't bother me--yet. But it certainly has the potential to. Small doses, please.

So Heather knows something else is in the will--remember she did sneak a peak. I normally enjoy Tracy, but I am rooting for AJ here.

I've been thinking the same thing as Lucy D. That Maxie will think it's Spinelli's baby but she never had a miscarriage in the first place. I'm hoping. I really like Spinelli and Ellie together.

I'm not minding the vampires but Heather's return made me groan...she was so in everything for so long that it's an automatic response. And now Todd's headed to Ferncliff...good grief.

Is Britt even an OB-GYN? I just don't think that being an OB would be a 'sexy' enough area of medicine for her. Brain, heart or vascular, etc would be better bets. A surgeon in other words.

So I will not be shocked if it comes to be that the baby wasn't miscarried, Britt is just a rotten doctor.

And nobody with a beating heart wants Ellie ever upset! Except cold blooded sociopaths and sadists.

Felix can stay. Britt and SoBlanda can leave town or transfer to poor Mercy hospital.

Except Britt wasn't in a rush by the time she diagnosed Maxie because Patrick already cancelled their date. She even offered to call Lulu for Maxie to tell her.

I just want Spinelli gone really. And I like Ellie well enough but if her sticking around means Spinelli does I'd rather she didn't.

Oh Lucy D. I like your theory! I want Lulu and Dante to get their baby, and I was seriously grossed out at the thought of Maxie having sex right after her "miscarriage" ... But this writing team has been delightful as of late, I shall hope for the best!

Being currently six months pregnant thanks to IVF, I can tell you that NOTHING about the Maxie/Spinelli/Dante/Lulu storyline is even remotely OK with me. Nothing about it is rooted in any sense of reality. I can suspend disbelief for my soap with the best of them, but in this case, GH missed a chance to educate people and have a great storyline at the same time!

I despise Ellie, and her lack of an upper lip.
They should have written out Spinelli and Ellie and had Maxie with Johnny.

Spinelli should have died when he came on the show in late 2006.

Speaking of Jim Harbaugh, have you seen this:

I am still holding out hope that the fetus is not a Spixie Spawn. Dear God let Lucy D's theory be correct, because the alternative is just to sick making.

Poor Felix, he had to take on the unenviable task of proping Carly last week. I hope that's the last time he's in her orbit because I'd really hate to start fast-forwarding his scenes. I like him a lot.

This Maxie/Spinelli thing is just gross. The IVF story had promise but now it's just laughable. What a missed opportunity.

Another insult is what Todd Manning has been reduced to. Mooning over Carly Jacks, of all people. Just a month or so ago, he was practically giddy when he found out that Tomas looked exactly like Alcazar and that he might be able to stop Blair from marrying him. And now,suddenly, he's "in love" with Carly? Give me a break!

OK-- I like Ellie-- not with Spinelli (who I am personally very tired of but for herself) I like her as a character and hope to see more of her. Can't stand either Britt nor Sabrina... ugh.. I wouldn't mind seeing Patrick in another relationship ( he does think RObin is dead) but give me a better choice than those two! I want him to slowly go into a relationship build upon it --someone who is nice and HIS EQUAL! Then when Robin returns --it is messy.... soapy... good stuff.. Sabrina and Britt are awful characters--one note!!!

Totally off topic but can you do a blog on SK sex appeal!! Oh My God-- he is sex on a stick! He has insane chemistry with anyone he is in a scene with... I think I am rooting for Liz and AJ b/c I think Liz deserves a storyline! but my goodness that man is best thing to happen to gh in awhile!

@kitkat - Thank you! If I had to hear Ellie squeak out "Damien!" one more time...ugh.

@Kate - This will sound ignorant, but was the whole procedure with Maxie's IVF rather fast? I mean, both she and Lulu got one shot each, collected those eggs, implantation and BOOM, just like that Maxie was pregnant.

Frankly I thought the whole dog thing was because more than one embryo was implanted and Maxie was pregnant with triplets.

And if Maxie and Spinelli had sex a week ago (a week in GH time) how in the heck would that show up so fast? I've been pregnant twice and neither time did I know a week after I'd conceived.

Maxie does not deserves to have that baby ! I mean really she can barely look after herself! I was so hoping that they wouldn't go there but they did! I hope they keep Elle around. I am so happy that Laura is coming back!

I was rooting for a Patrick/Sarah Webber pairing, because Robin after all gave her blessing for Liz/Patrick. Robin comes home to find her friend's sister has moved on with her husband and child. Yes, I know Liz/Patrick would be soapy goodness, but Liz deserves her own man and not one that's going back to his wife once she's proven to be alive.

Maxie's next pairing should have been with Johnny.

What the heck happened to Todd Manning? Todd is all weepy eyed over Cujo? Hell, no!

....how would it even be possible for Maxie to be re-pregnant this fast?

@Vicki -
There is NO way that the whole IVF thing went that quickly. First of all, no one took the drugs long enough for there to be viable eggs to retrieve, there weren't enough pre-procedure tests done, including a psych eval on both Maxie and Lulu/Dante (my hubby and I had to visit a counselor) and, you have to wait two weeks, not two days, to find out if you're pregnant.
@Anna -
The whole sex-right-after-a-miscarriage and pregnant-the-next-day thing is also way wrong on so many levels, both scientifically and just in general.
Just a really wasted opportunity, in my opinion.

@Kate, congratulations! And I'm SO with you on this. It's clear that Carlitini has learned nothing about a woman's reproductive cycle since the Morasco fiasco. You can't get pregnant the same day you miscarry. It's physically impossible. It would be nice just once to see a scientifically accurate pregnancy story on a soap - there's plenty of drama in the surrogacy story alone.

I love Lucy D's theory - do that, Ron and Frank!

@Judy, thanks! We're having a boy and a girl twin (think of the soapiness of that!)
I have been watching GH since I was about 13 - a long, long time - and I love what Carlitini is doing and has done with the show. I just wish this storyline was being written better and from a more realistic standpoint. It could still be fun and soapy, but with just a twinge of realism it would be even better.

Lisa, that is the best thing I have ever seen. I've watched it more than a thousand times, I think (kidding!) (not really...). Hilarious.

Thanks to everyone for hitting the writers with some knowledge about pregnancy and IVF and the way the human body actually works (and congratulations to Kate! I love twins!). I hope Lucy D.'s theory is correct, too--it still involves way too much Spinelli and Maxie together for my liking, but at least I--and Dante and Lulu, obviously--would get a happy ending!

I think the writers ARE doing something new, just without passing it through a group of women for fact-checking purposes. Britt is as much of an airhead as Maxie, or she would have realized that a new pregnancy was almost impossible, and therefor the fetus was either out of camera range or hiding behind a suitcase. Most of the week after a miscarriage a woman can still test positive on a pregnancy test. And not many women produce a new egg within a day or two of miscarriage. So, Maxie keeps it all to herself, out of love for all involved, has the baby, then gives it up to Lulu and Dante. It will stay this way for 6 months or so, until the baby has the obligatory accident/illness that send all to the hospital, where the baby needs something only the mother or father can provide. So Maxie tells all of them what she thinks she has done, given Lulu & Dante her baby with Spin, only to discover that she is not the natural mother. Then they all get furious at Maxie for her lies, until they realize that it was based on pure love. This hits Ellie big time as her wedding to Spin is the next day and she realized the deep and abiding love between Maxie and Spin. (Sorry folks, but I love Maxie and Spin. Maxie is not shallow when it comes to Spin, he's not weird when it comes to her, and they remind me a bit of Leonard and Penny from The Big Bang Theory.)

After watching today's show I fear I am wrong, though I pray I am right. No, no, no to a Spixie spawn.

And seriously how many times can Ellie tell Spinelli to "get out"?

THAT GIF!!!!!!

I had to share this little story...

My mother watched General Hospital since she was in her teens...she's now 67. I started watching it with her in my late twenties. At first it was pleasant (if corny) mother, daughter time. Somewhere around the time Dante appeared on the scene through the show became either a tedious bore or enraging (if Sonny was on the screen, it was guaranteed to be enraging.) Even mom was spending most of the hour screaming at various characters for being idiots. Little by little we both lost interest and stopped watching.

Last week mom asked me if good old GH was even still on the air. I told her it was and had actually been getting better ratings. We decided to turn it on for a look-see.

Now, I don't know many of the 'new' characters that were imported from other soaps (or any characters returning from the old days of GH.) Mom never watched any of the other soaps either. So we turn on the show and there's some woman neither of us know in a jail cell. And this woman is in the middle of talking about how, yes, she is in fact a vampire slayer and yes, she is out to kill a vamp...

Mom and I looked at each other. And then promptly burst into hysterical laughter. I mean, full out tears streaming down our faces, laughing so hard it sounds like sobs, convinced we're about to barf from hilarity...it took an hour before I could stop giggling. I'm not even sure WHY it was so damn funny. It's the hardest I've laughed in a good few years.

And no, we still decided not to give the show another shot. I'm afraid if I laughed that hard every day I'd have a heart attack.

Triangle to be fair I haven't watched in a while either (nor kept up with this blog) but can the current storyline be any worse than the cheesy 80's storylines of saving the world from the Cassidines and the freeze machine?

Love the gif! I'll catch up on the blog this weekend and give GH another try!

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