The Live & the Blogging

All right, y'all. I get to watch B&B in real time today, so let's do it! Look out, it might hurt.

Oh, Taylor, you should super-not be making out with Eric.

Steffy's hair looks ACTUALLY TERRIFYING.

Oh, she's calling Liam from a plane phone and he is receiving Hope's visit. "Enjoy it while it lasts." LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ROMANTIC CENTER OF THE SHOW.

Wait, who is this guy talking to Marcus? Oh, it's his brother. Out of nowhere. Marcus introduces him to Brooke, who manages to not sex him up yet.

Brooke and Taylor are all bitchy at each other about Thomas being VP of Forrester Enterprises.

Steffy is chatting up some other airline passenger. Remember when Steffy saw Hope and Liam making out on the bed on top of a pile of her clothes? That could have been cool, but she apparently miraculously intuited that they didn't "cross the line" and so it's a total non-issue. This triangle makes me murderous.

Carter, Marcus's brother, meets Eric. It's all very weird. "This is my dad." Is Carter going to be in the Maya story? Dayzee shows up and gives him a big fat hug. "I'm impressed, you're a Forrester," says Carter. Little does he know that you can be related to Eric but still totally a Logan!

Steffy's seat-mate has her hair. Her old hair, not her weird current hair. Steffy's telling her the horrible Liam story, and the writers pretend like a stranger would care. The stranger finds it all FASCINATING.

Liam and Hope cuddle and chuckle about Steffy's return, since Liam is the greatest boyfriend ever except that he should be shot at dawn. 

I kind of like this Carter dude. The actor has serious charisma. Shall we actually move forward with him? Probably not, since he's not a Liam recast.

Oh look, Brooke and Taylor are having another tedious face-off about their stupid daughters and the dreadful man their daughters love. 

Unsurprisingly, Steffy's seat-mate has not offered up any details of her own life. Hope continues to cuddle with Liam and try to talk him out of Steffy. I hate all of these people so much. Liam and Hope make out, 'cause that's okay when you're in a live-in relationship. Hope straightens out her way-too-tight dress and leaves.

Oh gross, a flashback to Liam telling Hope he wants to "make love to her all night long." Eww. Brooke shows up at his house to interfere, though if either she or Taylor were good mothers they'd tell their daughters to run away from that douchenozzle as fast as humanly possible.

Steffy is back in town and talking to her mother about all the pregnancy drama and the Hope drama. Steffy got perspective while she was away -- perspective which results in EXACTLY THE SAME AS SHE EVER FELT BEFORE. She's going to have a future with Liam or whatever while Brooke instructs Liam to say goodbye to Steffy tonight. Did I mention that I hate all of these people so much. The end. 

Comments

[Anne]

So wait - was Steffy's seatmate significant and someone who will show up again soon, or just a weird way to give Steffy airtime?

[Louise]

I'm definitely guessing the latter.

[C]

Oh Louise how you SUFFER for your art and our entertainment.

Can't that Carter dude be a Liam recast? Then Scott Clifton can join OLTL 2.0 and I can have my Sky!

[Cindy]

Or we could have Scott Clifton back as Dillon at GH?

Steffy's hair is super scary. *shudders*

[Ziyal]

And the tingly music that played at the end of yesterday's B&B, with the Taylor/Eric kiss?! Uhh. I keep thinking they might put him with Pam, which is just......no, but could be cute.

[LogopolisMike]

I started wanting to make a MadLib out of this, which could be used to describe any number of episodes, but I got tired:

Oh, Taylor, you should super-not be _________. (something Taylor has done in the last 5 years)

Steffy's hair looks ______________. (something extreme)

Oh, she's calling Liam ______________. (something douchey happens) LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE ROMANTIC CENTER OF THE SHOW.

Wait, who is this guy talking to Marcus? ___________ (a person of color who will be very important for a few days and then basically completely disappear) Marcus introduces him to Brooke, who manages to not sex him up yet. (Okay, this one is so unique I couldn't come up with a joke.)

Brooke and Taylor are all bitchy at each other about _______________. (something women their age shouldn't be wasting their time with)

[Mary]

LogopolisMike LOL! Seriously, There should be a MadLibs companion piece, either from you or an equally brilliant commenter, to every one of Louise's hilarious B&B recaps. Hell, why stop @ B&B. GH and Mallory should be part of the fun too. Granted, it probably would be easier to do with B&B because, like everyone says, it's the same thing every day. A B&B MadLibs template would suffice :)

[Lisa]

My eyes! MY EYES! Taylor...what the hell?

I think Taylor making out with Eric is sixty gazillion times worse than Steffy's hair. It burns! It freezes!

[soapbaby]

LogopolisMike: You are a riot! HILARIOUS.

[Louise]

You people make watching this show so much more bearable!

[Ziyal]

So true, Louise, so true!