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« The Most Relatable Moment In The World | Main | Things Happened In Port Charles And I Loved All Of Them »

March 21, 2013

The Bold & the Beautiful: Half(ish) Week In Review

So I finally got around to binge-viewing the last four episodes of The Bold & the Beautiful all in one sitting, and I'm kind of excited. Sure, I'm still fast-forwarding through anything Hope/Liam/Steffy-related, but really that only meant skipping yesterday's scenes between Liam and Hope (though I did catch a few blips here and there before and after my finger hit the button -- I heard Hope say "We were robbed!" for the 872nd time, so at least I know no one has any new insight, and I'm pretty sure she told Liam about how she asked Steffy to quit her job because Hope has the sads and Liam didn't tell her she was an asshole for it because he, too, is an asshole so it doesn't even matter). But otherwise? I have not had this much fun watching B&B in a long, long time.

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I think B&B is done for the week due to something basketball-related? Seems like as good a time as any to reflect.

First of all: physician, heal thyself! Okay, not really. Because the more ridiculous Taylor's behavior, the happier I am. The more frequently she uses the word "inappropriate" and infuses it with the ugliest kind of judgment and condescension there is, the more amused I get.

Not that she's wrong. Brooke is totally hot for Bill, and he's even admitted that he's super-into her and is struggling with it. And she is milking that for all it's worth, because Brooke is going to be Brooke. And of course Katie walked in on the two of them horizontal in a bed alone with champagne.


How hilarious was it that Brooke's response to Katie's accusations wasn't "I am not interested in your husband and you can trust me," but instead was "now seems like a good time to lecture you about how hot and awesome your husband is and how you need to start treating him like it."

I mean seriously, if your sister is standing in front of you accusing you of going after her husband and you want to make sure she understands that you are no threat to her marriage, is this what you say?

Brooke: What are you doing? You've got to ease up. You're making this alcohol issue into a big deal when it isn't one. You can't lecture him, especially a strong-willed man like Bill. He is very successful. He is very driven. He loves you. He adores Will. I don't think you realize what you really have. And he's very loyal to the people he cares about. [Wasn't that awesome what he did to your daughter, Brooke? Wonderful man. --Ed.]


Brooke: Stop taking Bill for granted. He's a wonderful husband, a wonderful father. He's been very patient, very forgiving. Sometimes I don't think you realize how lucky you are to have a man like Bill in your life.

Well, then! I'm sure now you've convinced Katie you have no designs on her husband! (And just for good measure, you'll probably make her feel better by telling her she's crazy and asking if she's off her meds.)

Oh the gall


Anyway, of course Bill listened in on this whole thing and wants Brooke even more than he did before.

Speaking of Brooke in her underwear, this is apparently completely inappropriate and undignified! A lingerie line with a 50-year-old woman as the spokesmodel? Embarrassing! I always love B&B business stories because they're always so wildly vague. So Rick wants to keep the company afloat by sticking to tradition, while Thomas is a visionary who want to do radical things like close down the boutique and start selling online! Where does he get these ideas?! (I could not have been the only one who was dying at his charts that looked like they were pre-Power Point graphics. "Look, someone got MS Paint!")

Oh no boutique expenses are through the roof in 1984
How nouveau

You see, Thomas thinks they will make money if they cut costs and draw in customers. This is revolutionary thinking! Surely they consulted some real-life international CEO successes to get material for this story. LOVE. IT.

Oh and my favorite bit was Thomas getting all snarky about how "edgy" the Brooke's Bedroom line is because, you know, it features a 50-year-old woman in lingerie. Actually, Thomas? That is pretty edgy.

Speaking of lingerie, Caroline stripped down to hers in Rick's office this week in attempt to seduce him into paying attention to her. It didn't work, but I have to say that Caroline being a bitchy, snobby, spoiled little princess is finally making me notice her. She's so much more fun than she was when she was just Blandy McBlanderson! But... what's Dayzee up to? When Maya told her about her little semi-fling with Rick, Dayzee went all

Dayzee: Look, Maya, Rick is handsome and he's nice. He's dated a lot of sophisticated, beautiful women, and I hear he's actually pretty hot and heavy with Caroline Spencer of Spencer Publications' dynasty. And you might need to respect that. I mean, two wealthy, powerful L.A. families -- I wouldn't be surprised if they got married someday. It's actually good that nothing happened with Rick.

Maya: We kissed on Rodeo Drive. It was --

Dayzee is not cool with this

Dayzee: It was risky. I mean, can you imagine if a photographer had spotted the two of you? I mean, the explaining that Rick would have to do? Look, I did you a favor, and you have an opportunity to get back on your feet -- no rent, no restrictions -- but I have one for you now: no more Rick Forrester. It's not gonna happen.

What the what? So now Dayzee's instructing Maya not to fraternize outside her social strata, because what will the public think? When did this personal transformation happen? Oh right, probably when all we saw was those three idiots in that love triangle. This? MORE INTERESTING!


I didn't realize that the wealthy Beverly Hills families intermarry in the same way that the nobility of Europe intermarry. Good to know.

Don't you know that fashion executives cannot socialize outside of their caste? Come on now! Imagine the shame it would bring to the family's sparkling reputation!

Louise, I agree with you so much! I have not had this much fun watching B&B in a long time! Brooke's Bedroom is a winner for Forrester sales as well as for B&B fun, and ratings, I hope.

As much as I want Brooke to be a good sister, it's just *so* much more FUN when she's not, even if she's telling herself she's trying to be! I loved how even Donna was like, "other women don't let Brooke near their husbands."

I thought Katie was a bit too wound up at the beginning of the final scene (with good reason) when Brill were all "deer in headlights", but the way Heather Tom carried that intensity through the entire scene, all the way to the end, demanding Bill to tell Brooke it would never happen..... Heather Tom, absolutely phenomenal!!

Oh, and in ff-ing Hope & Liam's scenes, I guess you missed Hope telling Liam about the stunt that Brooke pulled earlier, and I could almost feel Hope's ambivalence about her own mother. As in, Hope has been as much a victim of Brooke's sex kitten-y ways as anyone else on the show, but in this case it works in Hope's favor because she's Team Logan, and I just felt really sorry for Hope in that instant - she can never have a relationship with one of her (three) parents that is not tainted by a wrongdoing they subjected her to (Deacon left, Brooke slept with her boyfriend, and she will always come second to Ridge).

I even feel a bit sorry for Brooke because she doesn't seem to be able to help herself when it comes to men... she likes to play with fire. I'm sure she thinks that she is in control of it right now, and she's just having a bit of innocent fun, but we all know it won't stop there. I feel sorry for her because she will never be able to have a pure relationship with any female anywhere, or male, apart from her sons. Unless she eats some magic berries and sexes up her own children!

Maybe Dayzee is still feeling burned over failed romance with Thomas...

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